Do you think people can change their financial "personality"?

[eliza61]

Another thread got me thinking......

Do you think people can change their financial "personalities" or are we stuck in whatever mode our first experiences gave us.

This is purely hypothetical.

so if you're a spender, will you always be a spender?
If you're a saver, is that it?
If you've always used credit cards will you always need them?
what about extremes. If you're a so called "tight wad" will you always be that way.

I saw a show on cable a while back called "princesses". thinking it was about Disney, I started to watch. LOL anyway the premise is there are these real life "princesses" that live that way but cant afford to do so. A smart financial guru, Gail some thing or another swoopes in for an intervention.

Are these girls fated to stay that way?

chat away....

 

[eliza61]

Hey, forgot to answer my own question. lol.

I think people do change all the time. I am definitely not the same financial personality that I was in college or in my 20's.

I go through phases it seems like. In my 20's I was a serious spender. didn't save a dime, loved it. then in my 30's maybe late 20s I totally switched, seemed like I was always saving for some thing.
Now because of certain circumstances I've changed again. I've cut my 401K in half and I'm spending more on a lot of things I put on the back burner.

One trait I've seemed to keep is I'm a bargain hunter. I love chasing a bargain, I love flea markets and haggling. very few things I pay retail for.

 

[mrsklamc]

Absolutely. I came from a family that simply never taught us anything about finances. Then I learned how to budget, etc.

I am starting to think there are people in life who are willing to learn and grow, (about anything, not just finances) and those that won't just out of stubbornness/arrogance or because they don't understand that they can- they think they are 'stuck' and aren't willing to do things differently.

I see people say "Dave Ramsey doesn't work!" and then when you talk to them, they weren't willing to make certain lifestyle changes. I know not everyone likes him, it's just an example.

 

[MrsDrewsky]

I think I had the same experience as you, Eliza61.

In my early 20s I spent every dime I had. Then I got my first real job and started making money, never had anything to really show for it. So I started to try paying off things, and paid off my car and couple of small credit cards. Before DH and I got married (I was 27 he was 26) I had a come to Jesus talk to him about his credit card debt (also $10k). We knocked that out and are closing on our first place at the end of the month at the age of 29 and 28.

He and I are both good savers now, that like to spend smartly. We still use a rewards credit card, but pay off the balance every month.

 

[smcabee]

People can change for sure. Im getting ready to turn 42 years old later this month. When I was 22 I had 25K in debt. At 30 I had 28k in debt. As of age 40, I was debt free except a mortgage which will be payed of by the time I hit 50 if not sooner. Now I have about 11 months of emergency funds, and Im well on my way to funding my retirement. It takes discipline, patience and a change in your own way of thinking about money. Its not easy and it downright sucks sometimes to not be able to do or get what you want but it can be done.

 

[ssawka]

I think for most people it has to do with current situations in their life. When DW and I were younger and not making a lot of money, we were big time savers. Now that we are older and a bit better established, we tend to spend more. However, one thing has been consistent... We always live within our means. We know before any purchase whether or not we can afford something. This does not mean we do not use credit. I am a firm believer in using credit for as long as you can until you will incur high interest charges. (i.e. we put everything on our rewards credit card, but we pay it off at the end of every month.)

 

[pryncess527]

I think people can change, and would like to believe I have changed.

I have realized that most of my bad habits weren't even really bad habits -- they were just sheer ignorance. My parents, god bless them, did not instill me with money management still and I did really not realize there was a better way. Then, when I finally learned how to budget it was like the clouds parted and a ray of sunshine lit up everything and I finally "got it" and I can honestly say that my spending patterns and how I think about money has radically changed.

 

[writersblock42]

Yes, people change both ways. My dh was a spender and after ten years of marriage, I taught him to be a saver. The biggest thing that helped us was setting up an allowance. We each get a small amount each week and that is what we can spend on whatever we want, no questions asked (I mean within reason of course-nothing illegal or anything that breathes).

 

[pearlieq]

I think people can more easily change their behavior than their "orientation".

I'm the saver, DH is the spender. We have a budget we've hammered out over years (and a few, erm, lively discussions) that accommodates both of our needs and our overall financial goals.

Still, at any given point, our first reaction to a financial question or situation is always our default--he wants to throw money at the problem and I want to hoard every penny. The nice thing about being well-matched is that we can talk it out and come up with the best overall solution, which sometimes is spending and sometimes is saving. By offering each other opposing opinions, the decisions we make are well-considered and we bring out the best in each other.

I don't think people change their fundamental approach to money too often, but I think experience, necessity, and the influence of the people around them (for good or bad) can change how they act.

 

[momz]

It's all about choices. Of course everyone has experiences in life that influence those choices. But, one can be labeled a "spender" one day and a "miser" the next. These are not conditions that are innate, they are behaviors developed over time. But, if one chooses differently, then the label will change.

It's not the same as being "born that way". nature vs nurture. In this case nurture determines behavior. IMO.

 

[bumbershoot]

Absolutely. I came from a family that simply never taught us anything about finances. Then I learned how to budget, etc.

I agree.

People can change in all sorts of ways. It just takes the initial decision and then the continued decisions every day to keep going that direction. It's a lot like losing weight; there's the initial decision, and then a lifetime of better choices than you used to make with food.

And for many people, one day you find that your initial reaction is the new way, instead of the old way. (again, just like with weight loss...when you find yourself reaching for the apple instead of the cookie without even thinking about it...the first time it happens, you're shocked, and then you realize it's simply become ingrained)

 

[crisi]

I think they can change. I think that it isn't very often that they do change. And I think that changing depends on a lot of things.

1. What is the reason your financial behavior is the way it is?
2. How motivated are you to change?
3. Is there some life event that is a "come to Jesus" occasion?
4. What support do you have in changing?

Finances are like diets, and spending money can have a lot in common with addictive behavior. People do loose weight and keep it off. And people do go into recovery and stay sober for the rest of their lives. But a lot of people don't.

 

[disykat]

Of course they can, but not without an effort to do so.

 

[ssawka]

I think they can change. I think that it isn't very often that they do change. And I think that changing depends on a lot of things.

1. What is the reason your financial behavior is the way it is?
2. How motivated are you to change?
3. Is there some life event that is a "come to Jesus" occasion?
4. What support do you have in changing?

Finances are like diets, and spending money can have a lot in common with addictive behavior. People do loose weight and keep it off. And people do go into recovery and stay sober for the rest of their lives. But a lot of people don't.

ITA! Especially with #2. People do not change when they are told to change or given an ultimatum. They have to decide to change on their own.

 

[Liberty Belle]

I know people can change, because I have. At first it was out of necessity; it was forced on me. I'm very used to it now, though and do not see myself going back to my old spending habits.

 

[chris31997]

Change yes but......

DH and I are differant. DH is the spender with expensive taste while I am the saver that loves a bargin. Fast forward a few years, okay lots of years and Dave Ramsey , we have "changed" in that we make smarted choices. We make a budget. We use cash DH is still the spender with expensive taste but does not spend like he used to. I am still the saver who loves a bargin but I have loosen the purse strings alittle more

We have changed but we are still who we were when we married 18yrs ago. We rememeber who were 18 yrs ago, because we don't want to go back