Do you see any reason to be concerned?

[Big Cuddly Bear]

OK, before I start, let me say, that I am JUST ASKING, and not sure what I think. And I need to give you a brief introduction.

My niece's mother died a few years back. At that time she seemed very connected with her mom ( to me, anyway ), and not as much with her dad. Her Dad is an avid outdoorsman. He loves to hunt and fish, but he keeps it in relative moderation. Since her mom died, my niece has taken up hunting in order to hang out more with her dad. She has been hunting almost since the same time her mom died.

Personally, I think that that is pretty normal, and nothing to be concerned about. It makes sense to me that she would do that, as long as she enjoyed hunting too.

OK, so my family just took her to NC for a whole week to visit relatives. When I picked her up from her home, she was wearing camo gear, like hunters wear. She was wearing a T Shirt that said " I don't kill innocent animals. I only kill the guilty ones." Then later in the week she wore another shirt that said " I would have killed Bambi's Mom, if I could have."

While driving to and from NC, I noticed that she was reading magazines about guns. And she had a notebook where she kept notes on her favorite hunting spots, and it had an NRA decal on it.

Approximately a dozen times over the week I heard her talking about hunting, and specifically about when she will kill her first deer, and how she wants to butcher it herself.

Her aunt asked her what she would like for Christmas, and she replied " Two boxes of 20 gauge shotgun shells would be cool."

There were probably a few more things she said / wore / did that was along those lines.

Is there a reason for concern, in your opinion? If it matters, she is a 14 or 15 year old girl.

EDIT: She has been hunting for 3 years, but is getting much more into it, almost on a daily basis, it seems.

 

[simba20]

Since I live in the South where I have lots of friend's daughters who hunt at that age...NO. It really doesn't bother me since I see it/hear it all the time.

All the things she has said and worn, just go along with "hunting culture." I personally don't see the point of going out at 4 in the morning and sitting up in a tree stand for hours for that one shot, but what she has worn has not bothered me.

My husband is a teacher ina rural area. And "his grils" if they aren;t ultra feminine, dress in Carhart gear fromt he local hardware store. Apparently anything related to hunting/farm wear is quite in 'round these parts.

 

[LadyZolt]

As for the shirts, kids wear stuff with obnoxious sayings these days. My son has one that says "Losing faith in humanity one person at a time." And I have seen far worse.

Sounds like this girl is throwing herself into her new hobby. Unless she starts making suicidal and/or homicidal comments or actions, I wouldn't be overly concerned. You could give her non-hunting Christmas gifts, though, and maybe take her out shopping or to the movies or play another sport or games with her. Also, a strong woman in her life would be good. If no nearby aunts or grandmother, maybe Big Sisters organization might help.

 

[MaryAnnDVC]

OK, before I start, let me say, that I am JUST ASKING, and not sure what I think. And I need to give you a brief introduction.

My niece's mother died a few years back. At that time she seemed very connected with her mom ( to me, anyway ), and not as much with her dad. Her Dad is an avid outdoorsman. He loves to hunt and fish, but he keeps it in relative moderation. Since her mom died, my niece has taken up hunting in order to hang out more with her dad. She has been hunting almost since the same time her mom died.

Personally, I think that that is pretty normal, and nothing to be concerned about. It makes sense to me that she would do that, as long as she enjoyed hunting too.

OK, so my family just took her to NC for a whole week to visit relatives. When I picked her up from her home, she was wearing camo gear, like hunters wear. She was wearing a T Shirt that said " I don't kill innocent animals. I only kill the guilty ones." Then later in the week she wore another shirt that said " I would have killed Bambi's Mom, if I could have."

While driving to and from NC, I noticed that she was reading magazines about guns. And she had a notebook where she kept notes on her favorite hunting spots, and it had an NRA decal on it.

Approximately a dozen times over the week I heard her talking about hunting, and specifically about when she will kill her first deer, and how she wants to butcher it herself.

Her aunt asked her what she would like for Christmas, and she replied " Two boxes of 20 gauge shotgun shells would be cool."

There were probably a few more things she said / wore / did that was along those lines.

Is there a reason for concern, in your opinion? If it matters, she is a 14 or 15 year old girl.

Hunting isn't my thing, but we have friends who hunt and they're into it. If this is a particularly big connection she has with her father, maybe she was focusing on it a little more on the trip to show people she does have that connection.

I always personally loved army and camo clothes, and I'm a wussy indoor girl.

 

[LuvOrlando]

I think the combination is troubling, not the individual parts and mostly because of her Moms death. The big thing is she doesn't get there are times to turn it off, which could totally isolate her from other people. Personally, if it were me, I would make an anonymous call to the school guidance counselor and trust that they would at least check In on her, if it's no big deal they're in a better position to judge.

 

[LadyZolt]

Oh, I forgot to say camo is very popular now. I have seen runway models wearing it, and it is in lots of stores. Personally I don't get it, and I am a veteran. LOL!

 

[Luv Bunnies]

It sounds to me like she needed something to fill her life since the loss of her mom. She took up hunting because it was a way to be close to her dad and she immersed herself in it fully. Personally, I would never go hunting and don't get the appeal of it. But if the girl enjoys it and is being supervised by a responsible adult, I see no problem with it. She should still be given opportunities to do other things and hang out with other family members and people her age. Perhaps it's just a phase she's going through while she deals with her loss. It's really no different than people who base their lives (how they dress, who they hang out with, what they do for fun) on the type of music they listen to. She probably sees hunting as giving her an identity right now, because it's too painful to be who she really is (a girl who lost her mom and doesn't know where she fits in).

I feel like Lucy from the Peanuts. That'll be 5 cents please!

 

[The Mystery Machine]

No, I do not see any reason to be concerned.

 

[Disneyland1084]

It seems a little weird to me, but don't think it's anything to be concerned about. I don't know, but maybe she really got into hunting because it took her mind off the pain of losing her mom.

 

[badblackpug]

It sounds to me like she needed something to fill her life since the loss of her mom. She took up hunting because it was a way to be close to her dad and she immersed herself in it fully. Personally, I would never go hunting and don't get the appeal of it. But if the girl enjoys it and is being supervised by a responsible adult, I see no problem with it. She should still be given opportunities to do other things and hang out with other family members and people her age. Perhaps it's just a phase she's going through while she deals with her loss. It's really no different than people who base their lives (how they dress, who they hang out with, what they do for fun) on the type of music they listen to. She probably sees hunting as giving her an identity right now, because it's too painful to be who she really is (a girl who lost her mom and doesn't know where she fits in).

I feel like Lucy from the Peanuts. That'll be 5 cents please!

Very well put. ITA!

 

[MrsJackSparrow4Life]

Well my mom is still alive but I did the same thing with my dad; just with NASCAR instead of hunting.

My dad didn't have a lot of time off while I was growing up so if I wanted to spend any time with him I was sitting down and watching the race each Sunday. I imagine this would have been even more important if I didn't have my mom to fall back on.

As long as she is following safety guidelines I don't think I would be too worried about it.

 

[Hannathy]

I wouldn't be concerned. She may be going a bit overboard but a lot of people do that when they first get into something.


I would be more concerned if she had a flat affect and wasn't interested in anything, then I would worry.

 

[shortbun]

Has she obsessed before about anything? Has she ditched her friends from prior to her mom's death? As a woman, I think I'd get her aside and tell her to broaden her activity a little to include some of her old activities. One can add things that are fun; the idea is to enrich not obsess in life. She needs some adult guidance and her dad isn't giving it to her. I'd keep an eye on her if it were me. Do I think she's in danger? Not really but kids at that age are really sensitive and bear some watching.

 

[Big Cuddly Bear]

I wouldn't be concerned. She may be going a bit overboard but a lot of people do that when they first get into something.


I would be more concerned if she had a flat affect and wasn't interested in anything, then I would worry.

Well that is sort of the point... she has been like this for 3 years now, and it seems she is getting more and more "into" it. It isn't slowing down, but accelerating.

 

[tlbwriter]

Would you be bothered if she had this level of interest in any other activity? If she seems more obsessed than interested (no matter what the activity) then concern may be called for. But if she had spent the same amount of time talking about swimming or dance, had worn two t-shirts referring to swimming or dance, and had asked for new goggles or dance shoes as a gift, would you still wonder if you should be concerned?

 

[The Mystery Machine]

Would you be bothered if she had this level of interest in any other activity? If she seems more obsessed than interested (no matter what the activity) then concern may be called for. But if she had spent the same amount of time talking about swimming or dance, had worn two t-shirts referring to swimming or dance, and had asked for new goggles or dance shoes as a gift, would you still wonder if you should be concerned?

Or you could have simply stated if she was HE. If this was a son no one would even question it. In fact they would think it was cool that he is hunting with dad.

My dad was never into hunting however fishing is another story. I know how to expertly cast a fly rod and go for bass. Our vacations were always about fishing.

 

[Toad_Passenger]

We live in a very big hunting area, so this type of behavior would not bother me in the slightest.

In fact we were just commenting that in the past a lot of the newspapers print the photos of a lot of the first time hunters (lots of whom are younger kids) posing with their "first kill." I always make the comment that people who aren't from areas where hunting is big probably would be horrified by the pictures, especially the ones with the younger boys and girls.

So long as the obsession sticks to hunting rifles, ammunition, and hunting techniques, I see no reason to be concerned.

I remember when I was 16 driving with a friend who was paying more attention to the fields around us, rather than focusing on the road in front of us. He nearly rolled his SUV when he saw the "perfect place" and had to pull a U-Turn right in the middle of the road. Hunting is often more of an obsession than a hobby.

 

[okeydokey]

Where I live hunting is an important hobby. It is not my thing at all, but many people enjoy it. If it helps her bond with her Dad, then I don't see the harm in it.

 

[Hoodie]

Not at all weird. It's the middle of deer season. Every hunter I know is in obsessed mode right now!

 

[Big Cuddly Bear]

Not at all weird. It's the middle of deer season. Every hunter I know is in obsessed mode right now!

Yes, but she is kind of obsessed 365 days a year.... whenever I see her, that is what she wants to chat about even though she knows that I am not a hunter.... which is kind of funny, because my last name means "The Hunter".

I guess my concern is that the hunting obsession involves guns, and I have concerns about a child being so focused on guns. I am not anti gun, as I used to go to the shooting range with my own dad, before he died.

We also took her younger sister with us on the trip, and she said "Samantha kinda creeps me out with all these guns she has." The younger sister is 12 or 13.

Maybe I am more concerned than most, since I knew a 15 year old boy who killed 6 people with a rifle, when I was also 15.