Do you regret not having a wedding?

[Kimberle]

I regret having a wedding. Our families were 1000 miles apart. It was very difficult making all the arrangements and trying to please everyone. In the end, I really didn't "please" myself. We'd talked about going to Hawaii and getting married on the beach. I wish we'd done this. We could have had a party at each location later.

 

[NaLisa]

AS PPs have said, do what's best for you and your SO. My DH and I were perfectly happy with our elopement to a quaint mountain village. We did have a photographer, so we have pics to show our kids. Spending the kind of money and putting ourselves under the kind of stress that a big wedding requires just wasn't worth it to us.

 

[addicted_to_WDW]

We eloped 18 years ago and I don't regret it one bit. I don't like being the center of attention and I think a wedding would have been torture for me.

We're going to renew our vows for our 20th anniversary and it will be very small, maybe the 10 or so people closest to us.

 

[Pooh Crew]

Add me to the list of those who regret having a wedding. I firmly believe that my first wedding--which ex dh wanted, but I firmly did not...he convinced me I'd always regret not doing the big white wedding--was almost the sole contributor to the demise of our marriage. All the prep, time, and money that we (IMO) wasted...and by the time the "big day" rolled around, I hated him and his entire family because of all the stress and ugliness that had ensued. It was brutal. My maid of honor cried all day! His sisters were not speaking to any of us. I just wanted to run away!

Fast forward thru our inevitable divorce and to my next (and final) marriage...it was on a mountainside with just dh and me. It was lovely and perfect and romantic. It was a day about US, not families or friends or co-workers. We are still blissfully happy twenty years later!

Do what makes the two of you happy! Good luck to you both!

 

[Tinkermommy]

No, I don't regret it for a minute.

We went and got married by a magistrate. We will be married 24 years in June.

 

[NMAmy]

I had a big wedding the first time and learned my lesson.

When DH and I got married, we had a small ceremony in our sunroom. A friend who is a minister married us and there were only 10 people in attendance--including DH and I and my newest great-niece who was 2 weeks old. After that, we had an open house at our home and a friend who is a caterer did the food. People were able to come and go as they pleased. It was fun and absolutely no stress. No regrets at all--it was perfect for us!

 

[Disney1fan2002]

My DH and I were living together and had already bought a house together before we got married. We had one child and I found out I was pregnant with our second when we decided to get married.

I hate being the center of attention...so we got married in our house with a JP and invited close family and friends. (20 people tops). I told my sisters and friends absolutely no bridal shower. I felt I already had a home with all the appliances, ect. plus, I hate writing thank you notes. (I just spent a year writing them, from my baby shower, to the birth, to the christening and then his 1st b-day, the thought of writing another thank you note was too much, I did not want a shower!).

I don't regret the small wedding, but I will say a few years later, I went to my soon-to-be SIL bridal shower, and saw all the cool things she got and was kicking myself for not allowing one for me.

 

[Kennywife]

While I don't regret my big wedding, I wish Kenny and I could have done it our way.

We originally wanted an Escape wedding at WDW. We only wanted close family and maybe a few friends. Then......

our moms got involved and that went out the window.

What we ended up with was a wedding in a lodge (one of the things we actually wanted). It was facing a beautiful lake. I had 3 women in my party....all in kimonos (my mil is Japanese.)

Our wedding had 150 guests, a lavish buffet, and a big cake. I hated the cake. I got the design for Kenny. It had pineapple in it. (We wanted chocolate) My cousin and maid of honor couldn't even eat it.....allergic to pineapple. I wore a huge princess gown.....I wanted a simpler dress, but my mother threatened to not show up unless I wore the dress she liked. To this day, I can't look at my wedding photos because of it.

While our wedding was beautiful....David Tutera couldn't have done much better, it wasn't what we wanted. We enjoyed it, but Kenny felt a little like the wedding was too showy.

In a few years, we plan to have a vow renewal.....this time, we're doing it our way.

Anna

 

[LuvOrlando]

Congratulations I think you should do whatever it is that you deeply want in your heart.

I wanted a quiet wedding with just a few people at a little church in Cape May NJ followed by a nice weekend with a few family & friends.

But that was not to be because my parents had different ideas and me, being the dutiful daughter at the time, did exactly what they wanted me to do. sigh, the party part of my wedding wasn't about me at all. I had the big wedding with ice sculptures and all, the whole bit because my family is big & flashy but I'm not. I guess it was nice but not me so I felt out of place the whole time

Luckily, my best friend was there at the alter waiting to take me away from the craziness so he is what I focused on and once everyone left it was just us and we started our very nice life together.

Anyway, do exactly what you want. Just because you know someone who regrets not having a big wedding doesn't mean you will, you are not your sister or anyone else, you are just you

 

[Jeafl]

Boyfriend and I are talking about getting married. We went and looked at rings last weekend. We aren't in a hurry right now. Just the very beginning of everything. I love the wedding shows on TV. I have always said that I wanted to get married by Elvis in Vegas. It just seems like fun and no stress. I have been looking at wedding stuff for a while since my best friend is getting married next year. I am just not sure that I want a wedding. I have no real desire to walk down the aisle in front of a bunch of people. I have thought about a simple ceremony here with just a few friends. Most of my family and his cannot afford to travel to Florida for a wedding. So I thought simple ceremony here. Then, the next time we go north to visit, throw a big party for everyone to celebrate. We would have to do two though since my family is in Ohio and his is in New York. Would still cost as much as a wedding to do it though. I really don't know. I just know that I don't want to by like my sister and have regrets for not having one.

Nope. I got married at the courthouse and then went to Olive Garden.

We were poor college students and I was pregnant.

I did "get married" in the Catholic Church yrs later but it just was not the same.

I would love to get married by "Elvis" in Vegas. Sounds awesome to me and much better than what I did.

We have been married for 10 years and two weeks (hey, we had April 29th first, dang it!). It was by Elvis in Vegas. BEST TRIP EVER!

We told our friends, about 15 flew in with us. We took everyone out for dinner in Vegas and then had a relaxed reception at the brewpub where we met when we got back home. I wanted to wear a big white dress, so I did. We showed the video, because everyone wanted to see DH sing "Viva Las Vegas" with a pleather clad Elvis.

We took our honeymoon to Mexico right after our original wedding date six months later, so we got to be "newlyweds" twice.

It's your day, do it your style! We have absolutely no regrets!

I know that most people think that the whole Elvis wedding thing is a joke. However, my aunt and uncle got remarried in their 60's by an Elvis impersonator and it was one of the most beautiful, touching weddings I have ever been to.

They asked me (a 40-year old at the time) to be their flower girl since the first time they got married my sister was thier flower girl. Since I was going to throw rose petals down the aisle, I assumed the whole thing was going to be a gimmicky joke, but I was so wrong. Elvis sang "Can't Help Falling in Love with You" as she walked down the aisle, and his sermon was so touching it brought a tear to everyone's eyes.

After the wedding we all went to the Eiffel Tower restaurant at the top of the Paris Hotel for a beautiful dinner to celebrate. The whole thing was very personalized, and I know they felt it was every bit a wedding as it was the first time they got married in a church. The whole experience changed my opinion on Elvis weddings.

 

[Donaldswife]

Add me to the list who regrets HAVING a wedding. It was not I wanted. I just wanted to marry the love of my life, but he comes from a big Italian family and it would have been WRONG to not have a church wedding.

I wanted to go to Vegas or to Gatlinburg and elope, and halfway through the wedding planning so did DH, and he was the one who insisted we have a wedding to appease his family.

 

[rszdtrvl]

Nope. No regrets. Every once in a while when watching "Say Yes to the Dress" I wonder what it would have been like to walk down the aisle. But I don't regret that we eloped. Neither does DH.

We were young and poor, and I definitely did not need the drama of a big wedding.

 

[Shyvioletisme]

We're on the other side, we had a wedding and regret it. Even though we didn't spend a lot (only about $5000), it was still too expensive for me. We really wish we'd just gone to the courthouse or gone to the beach with 5-10 people and done it there. I liked having pictures made and DH and I could have just had a fun portrait session in nice clothes instead and done the courthouse and been happier. Even now, 6 years later, I'm stuck with this $700 wedding dress (that I just kind of settled for since I never could find anything I really liked) which I've never been able to sell. We really wish we'd gone a lot cheaper and smaller.

 

[sweetdana]

I worked in a bridal salon for about 3 yrs. (High end in ritzy area.) 9 outta 10 brides came in to get the dress cleaned and packaged all regretted it.. More often than not "I could of spent that 20 - 30K on a home down payment, or a boat." If you do not want/need one, do not spend your $$. You can having something small just to celebrate. A dinner at a rest, or a family gathering at your home for super close relatives to share with.


You will find in life mant things "you cannot life without", some are even more $$. Don't force yourself to spend one of your life's extras on something you don't want. Heck take the 10K - 15K and buy 100 -150 DVC points and use them for the next 50 yrs.

 

[CurlyGirl]

Not one single regret whatsoever! Who needs the stress?

 

[worm761]

Thanks for all the advice. I am not a center of attention kind of girl. Never have been. I like the wedding dresses but more for the fact of shopping for one. I like to shop! I am cheap though and just can't justify spending thousands on a dress I will only wear once.

I am glad to hear that others don't regret it. Boyfriend has been married before so has had the big wedding. Sister has been married twice. Once at the JOP and the second in a very small beach wedding. He husband didn't want to spend the money on a wedding. She regrets it now though. She has a ton of pictures though since I was there and took them.