Do you regret not having a wedding?

[worm761]

Boyfriend and I are talking about getting married. We went and looked at rings last weekend. We aren't in a hurry right now. Just the very beginning of everything. I love the wedding shows on TV. I have always said that I wanted to get married by Elvis in Vegas. It just seems like fun and no stress. I have been looking at wedding stuff for a while since my best friend is getting married next year. I am just not sure that I want a wedding. I have no real desire to walk down the aisle in front of a bunch of people. I have thought about a simple ceremony here with just a few friends. Most of my family and his cannot afford to travel to Florida for a wedding. So I thought simple ceremony here. Then, the next time we go north to visit, throw a big party for everyone to celebrate. We would have to do two though since my family is in Ohio and his is in New York. Would still cost as much as a wedding to do it though. I really don't know. I just know that I don't want to by like my sister and have regrets for not having one.

 

[quentina]

Boyfriend and I are talking about getting married. We went and looked at rings last weekend. We aren't in a hurry right now. Just the very beginning of everything. I love the wedding shows on TV. I have always said that I wanted to get married by Elvis in Vegas. It just seems like fun and no stress. I have been looking at wedding stuff for a while since my best friend is getting married next year. I am just not sure that I want a wedding. I have no real desire to walk down the aisle in front of a bunch of people. I have thought about a simple ceremony here with just a few friends. Most of my family and his cannot afford to travel to Florida for a wedding. So I thought simple ceremony here. Then, the next time we go north to visit, throw a big party for everyone to celebrate. We would have to do two though since my family is in Ohio and his is in New York. Would still cost as much as a wedding to do it though. I really don't know. I just know that I don't want to by like my sister and have regrets for not having one.

Being honest, I regret having one. Personally, I think it is a huge waste of money. My husbands family is well off and showy. A big wedding was mandatory. I always dreamed of getting married on the beach, barefoot, with the birds as the witnesses (this is true). We always talked of having my dream wedding at 5 years...then 10...then 15, going on 17 and we will never do it. Again, it would just be a waste of money in my opinion.

With that being said, you need to do what you think is best for you and fiance. No one else should matter, it is about the 2 of you.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

Nope. I got married at the courthouse and then went to Olive Garden.

We were poor college students and I was pregnant.

I did "get married" in the Catholic Church yrs later but it just was not the same.

I would love to get married by "Elvis" in Vegas. Sounds awesome to me and much better than what I did.

 

[worm761]

For full disclosure, we are not young. We are in our 30's. I have a 15 year old and we have a one year old together.
His mother and I do not get along so I know whatever we decide there will be fallout. My dad doesn't really care one way or the other. I know he would like to be there when it happens. He just doesn't care about the trappings that come along with it. My mother is dead so not a factor.
I briefly considered a Disney wedding. I just can't justify the cost to myself. I could do so much else with all that money.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

For full disclosure, we are not young. We are in our 30's. I have a 15 year old and we have a one year old together.
His mother and I do not get along so I know whatever we decide there will be fallout. My dad doesn't really care one way or the other. I know he would like to be there when it happens. He just doesn't care about the trappings that come along with it. My mother is dead so not a factor.
I briefly considered a Disney wedding. I just can't justify the cost to myself. I could do so much else with all that money.

You know, I always think about the old movies, like James Stewart in the "Glenn Miller Story". He finally tells June Allyson to come to NYC and marry him and she does. No big hoopla, just friends and a night out.

Huge weddings are for people that want them and if you are not a person that doesn't want one, you will be OK.

 

[nathalee81]

For full disclosure, we are not young. We are in our 30's. I have a 15 year old and we have a one year old together.
His mother and I do not get along so I know whatever we decide there will be fallout. My dad doesn't really care one way or the other. I know he would like to be there when it happens. He just doesn't care about the trappings that come along with it. My mother is dead so not a factor.
I briefly considered a Disney wedding. I just can't justify the cost to myself. I could do so much else with all that money.

We had a small wedding in our home and I have never regretted it. In fact, when my SIL got married last summer and was going nuts planning her HUGE wedding, I secretly thought to myself "thank goodness I did not put myself through that".

But, it is really whatever it is important to you and your significant other. Forget about everyone else, okay (I know that is easier said than done, though)?

I hope you all work it out and have a wonderful day, whatever you decide .

 

[njmom47]

I've been married twice, and neither time did I have a huge blowout. One was in the mayor's office, my cuz and mom and stepdad stood up for us. dinner for the family (mine because xdh's lived in another state and didn't come), went to the Poconos for our honeymoon. Second was a little nicer,a different mayor officiated. It took place at a gazebo overlooking a beautiful river, family (both dh's and mine) and lunch for about 25 in a private room in a nearby restaurant, and honeymoon in the Poconos.
My second marriage was when I was 35, I had 2 dds from first marriage, ds was from this relationship (he was 10 months old when we married), and we really needed a roof over our heads as opposed to a big wedding. Also, neither one of us wanted a bunch of eyes on us during our special time. Sometimes I regret not having a big wedding but when I look back, a roof over our heads was wayyy more important (and if my first wedding was a blowout, it would have been a waste as we divorced 5 1/2 yrs later).

 

[clh2]

DH and I were in Vegas last fall - and one of the things that just looked like a fun, fun, fun way to get to the chapel was a convertable Pink Cadilllac.

The bride and groom looked like they were just having a blast on the way to get married.

 

[LuluLovesDisney]

I don't regret one cent that I spent on our wedding. I loved every minute of it. I had a Disney wedding but invited far less people than I would have if I had had a home wedding. It was exactly what I wanted- close friends and family, no acquaintances. One of my friends passed away just 2 months after my wedding and I was so glad to have had him there.

I think the biggest thing to remember, though, is that it is a celebration. Celebrate in the way that is meaningful for you and ask those who you want to be present. Don't be pressured one way or another. Make the decision as a couple.

Also, consider all your options. Home wedding vs. Vegas, little vs. big, casual vs. formal. To do two receptions even if you aren't having a big official wedding can really get costly. It might be easier to have one big one where everyone can meet and perhaps just do things more casually. Just an idea.

 

[FredinFL]

I have a couple of weddings I occasionally regret.

 

[m&m's mom]

I don't regret my home "just get it done" kind of wedding one tiny bit.
We had been together 11 years, owned a house together for 10 and had a 4 and 1 year old.
I am NOT a wedding kind of girl. I think they are just ways for people to say "Look at me" and "It's all about me!".
There is just no way I could see ever spending a lot of money that way. I already told my DD's that I would rather give them $20,000 and not have a wedding but it's their decision.
Now I have to say also that we did have fun getting married. We had a surprise costume Halloween wedding. Party with my family and everyone in costumes and then, Voila! Judge comes in and it's a wedding!!
Our family LOVED it! And it was just perfect for DH and I.

 

[brockash]

Boyfriend and I are talking about getting married. We went and looked at rings last weekend. We aren't in a hurry right now. Just the very beginning of everything. I love the wedding shows on TV. I have always said that I wanted to get married by Elvis in Vegas. It just seems like fun and no stress. I have been looking at wedding stuff for a while since my best friend is getting married next year. I am just not sure that I want a wedding. I have no real desire to walk down the aisle in front of a bunch of people. I have thought about a simple ceremony here with just a few friends. Most of my family and his cannot afford to travel to Florida for a wedding. So I thought simple ceremony here. Then, the next time we go north to visit, throw a big party for everyone to celebrate. We would have to do two though since my family is in Ohio and his is in New York. Would still cost as much as a wedding to do it though. I really don't know. I just know that I don't want to by like my sister and have regrets for not having one.

Yes. Honestly, I really do. The money saved was great, but honestly, yes I regret not having a wedding... we've been married a little over 10 years.

 

[LuluLovesDisney]

I don't regret my home "just get it done" kind of wedding one tiny bit.
We had been together 11 years, owned a house together for 10 and had a 4 and 1 year old.
I am NOT a wedding kind of girl. I think they are just ways for people to say "Look at me" and "It's all about me!".
There is just no way I could see ever spending a lot of money that way. I already told my DD's that I would rather give them $20,000 and not have a wedding but it's their decision.
Now I have to say also that we did have fun getting married. We had a surprise costume Halloween wedding. Party with my family and everyone in costumes and then, Voila! Judge comes in and it's a wedding!!
Our family LOVED it! And it was just perfect for DH and I.

I totally agree that what is right for one person is not right for another. I love that everyone celebrates in a way that represents their lives and their personalities. However, having my wedding with my family and friends was right for me. DH and I were college graduates with secure jobs and we have no children. It was not that I wanted everyone to "look at me" but it was a thank you for all the people who supported us throughout our lives and a once in a lifetime chance for them all to meet one another. Your wedding would not have been right for me anymore than mine would have been right for you.

 

[Abbeys_mom]

Boyfriend and I are talking about getting married. We went and looked at rings last weekend. We aren't in a hurry right now. Just the very beginning of everything. I love the wedding shows on TV. I have always said that I wanted to get married by Elvis in Vegas. It just seems like fun and no stress. I have been looking at wedding stuff for a while since my best friend is getting married next year. I am just not sure that I want a wedding. I have no real desire to walk down the aisle in front of a bunch of people. I have thought about a simple ceremony here with just a few friends. Most of my family and his cannot afford to travel to Florida for a wedding. So I thought simple ceremony here. Then, the next time we go north to visit, throw a big party for everyone to celebrate. We would have to do two though since my family is in Ohio and his is in New York. Would still cost as much as a wedding to do it though. I really don't know. I just know that I don't want to by like my sister and have regrets for not having one.

We have been married for 10 years and two weeks (hey, we had April 29th first, dang it!). It was by Elvis in Vegas. BEST TRIP EVER!

We told our friends, about 15 flew in with us. We took everyone out for dinner in Vegas and then had a relaxed reception at the brewpub where we met when we got back home. I wanted to wear a big white dress, so I did. We showed the video, because everyone wanted to see DH sing "Viva Las Vegas" with a pleather clad Elvis.

We took our honeymoon to Mexico right after our original wedding date six months later, so we got to be "newlyweds" twice.

It's your day, do it your style! We have absolutely no regrets!

 

[CaliforniaDreamin]

I do regret it. We have no photos to share with our kids. I'd love to get married in Vegas. A girl I work with did that, and her pictures were amazing. If I could do it all over again (we were 19 and 20, I was 3 months pregnant and of course, had no money), I would want to have a small ceremony. My cousin recently got married and her and her DH flew to the Florida Keys. She had a simple white knee length dress and barefeet and the smallest prettiest bouquet. I think only their parents were there. But it looked like the perfect wedding. So yeah, after 18 years, I still regret a courthouse wedding. The least we could have done was driven to Myrtle Beach (about 6 hours away) and had our own little ceremony.

 

[RNMOM]

No. Don't regret not having a 'big' wedding. We married 32 yrs. ago with 8 people there. We had a small party at our house that evening. I was also not interested in having a dress, aisle, music and such.

I too love the wedding shows but it just reinforces my feeling that big weddings aren't worth the trouble and cost.

How about you have your own small service the take a honeymoon trip to visit one family then the other. Let them throw you a shower/party and have fun. If they don't offer then suggest you want to throw a party and pay for the food and such. Bet they will get the hint.

During your trip, schedule a couple days just for the two of you some place fun. Niagara Falls is corny but fun in right in between the two states.

 

[ChiCat]

Not at all. I have never in my entire life want to wear a big fancy white dress or have a bridal shower or share my most special moment with a bunch of strangers (dh's extended family). As I've gotten older I hate weddings more and more. We are actually attending a wedding in Mexico this winter which you would think a vacation wedding would change my mind but nope I still was bummed about it!

I also fortunately came from a very small family that couldn't care less if I had a real wedding or not. Had I came from a family where it did mean alot to them I don't know what I would have done.

 

[enchantingodin]

We had a small wedding, around 35 guests, at a local state garden. All inclusive it was around $1500 bucks (in 2003). You just have to know what's important to you, and cut out the rest. The most expensive thing was actually the photographer at $600. But the pictures were very important to use so we splurged on them. Like others have said, do what's best for you.

 

[bumbershoot]

If you don't want the big thing, don't have it! Do what you two WANT to do.

If you regret that later on, you can have a renewal and do it UP.

 

[NatashaDisneyCM]

wedding to me = waste of money!