Do you pay your kids for good grades?

[StitchBuddy]

No, we don't, but I know plenty of people who do. I think it is a personal choice. I am more likely to pay her to do a large chore that I don't want to do, for example clean the baseboards. We have a large house and I just don't want to do it, so I pay her to do it. Now some people think kids should do chores as a family obligation. I however expect good grades. nothing less thana 95 or you better have a good reason. I think whatever works for your family. Don't pay for grades, but I do maybe buy her something special as a reward every once in a while for being a responsible kid. Kinda the same thing.

 

[finz2left]

NO! Anymore than I'd pay my sons for each home-run or pitching strikeout, or my daughter for each perfectly executed pirouette. Doing well in school should be an intrinsic motivation -- because they love learning, or because they see the value in education -- and it is MY job to help them develop that love and understanding. Truth be told, my oldest was losing the love of learning in public school -- tired of the tedious busy work, and we are homeschooling him this year. The other two are still motivated by traditional learning. We take tons of educational field trips, we do science experiments for fun, we read with our family, and we live history anytime we get!

External rewards are very detrimental in the long-run, and multiple research studies have demonstrated it over the years. And, as a professor in College, I informally poll my students on occasion -- and the best students are the ones who were never paid (ancedotal, I know.).

In other words, I'm anti-paying and pro-involvement. And, as one person pointed out GRADES are not always a measure of a child's effort -- some kids simply bust their tushes and can't get As (including some brilliant kids who don't think in linear ways).

 

[pigletto]

No, we don't pay them necessarily. But, the end of a year where they tried their best and did well usually gets a passing present. Something they have wanted all year, or a nice dinner out or both.
They have never not tried their best so we've always had a celebration of some kind. Some years they got to pick their favorite dinner for me to make and have friends sleepover. Once it was new bikes since they had both outgrown theirs.
The big thing is it is not based on A's.. but on their strengths. For example dd can pull off near perfect marks in French and English.. it's her strength. But math is a real challenge for her and requires a lot of homework and extra hours to pull of a B-. So we reward the effort not the actual mark. And lots of praise and encouragement where it's due.

 

[TheRustyScupper]

No, we do not pay for good grades.

1) We also did not pay for chores.
2) An allowance was completely separate from deeds.
3) THEIR JOB was chores and good grades.
4) There was not an extra rewards for doing either.
5) However, there were certainly penalties for and performance in either.

NOTE: Now, the same applies to granddaughters. They get gifts, but not dependent upon acts and deeds. However, extras are dependent. One granddaughter got a subsidy of $2,000 from us for a car. The other did not. They were both given an acceptable grade performance level and behavioral level - based upon their individual talents and personalities. One met it and one did not.

 

[dreamin_disney]

We do. I think we started in 4th or 5th grade.
She gets $1 for B's and $5 for A's. She's in 6th grade and has 6 classes. SHe works very hard so we give her money for good grades. She doesnt earn an allowance.

 

[ckoncurat]

I pay $1 for As, nothing for Bs, and if they get a C they owe me a dollar. My kids don't need much motivation. Also a $5 bonus for straight A's.

 

[indimom]

For our kids, we usually have an "end of the year" reward of some sort for honor roll grades and good behavior. We take a family field trip to a local theme park, water park, or something along those lines in the summer as a reward for their hard work and effort throughout the year.

As an aside, we included behavior as a requirement to earn the summer reward. This meant we expected them to stay "on green" and not have pulled cards. Well, in first grade, our son pulled a card for talking in class. He was devastated. (The teacher could tell he was really upset, called and apologized for the card-pulling and explained over and over that she had mainly used him as an example since she had just reminded the class about speaking without raising their hand. He must have really been upset because she was clearly afriad we were going to be ANGRY with him about the card pulling and was trying to damage control on his behalf. To say we felt like a horses behind would be an understatement.)
We realized we had probably put our expectations a little high. Had a talk with him, calmed him down. He stayed on green for the rest of the year and earned his reward.

I have no problem with "paying" for As or Bs but could see problems if your children have significantly different ability levels or if you set your expectations too high like we did.

 

[aprilgail2]

I don't have a set system- I just give her some money every report card...no 5.00 for every A etc....she has never had anything less than high honors- the money doesn't motivate her she is very self motivated herself and is not happy when she gets less than a 90 on anything...the money is just a "hey good job" bonus. She is only 11 but already researching what types of schlorships are out there that she can apply for when the time comes.
Just going out to dinner really wouldn't seem to special since we are frequent diners out and do that at least 2-3 times per week for dinner.

 

[DisneyScraps]

I don't pay, but I reward. The reward is usually something she is interested in at the time, I don't have a specific amount I spend. As a child I was not rewarded or paid.

In high school I can see perhaps paying. To me school is a childs job and if they do that well I can see paying might be a great motivator.

Lisa

 

[Worfiedoodles]

We don't pay ds12 per grade, but we do give a reward of some type. During the year, it is usually a special treat for dinner, cd, something to show we appreciate his effort. At the end of the year we usually do something to celebrate -- sometimes it's a day at an amusement park, a quick weekend trip, or just a trip to the movies. We only have one child and he generally makes As -- so we don't have any complex decisions about treating everyone fairly.

Maria

 

[JamesMom]

I have a 2nd grader and a kindy so these rules may change. We do not reward good grades, but we do base allowance on school performance. When our kids enter first grade, they get an allowance of $5 a week. To get their allowance on Friday they must 1)Do all homework & assignments on time and 2) receive no bad behavior remarks for the week. If they do 2 or more than they are put on restriction, etc. So, I believe that by doing these two things conistently over the grading period it should equate to good grades. They get a hearty congrats and we're done when the report card comes. In the summer, they must read daily and do worksheets to get their allowance (excluding camp and family trip weeks - vacation time) School is their job.

 

[njcarita]

Nope.... I expect my kids to do their best and try their hardest without payment... weather its a C or an A.... is irrelavent to me as long as they did the best to their capabilities....

 

[ksloane]

I do reward my daughter (age 10) for A's at the end of each six weeks. I think of it as a job. In many jobs if you do a superior job, you get a bonus (or at least a raise). School is her job so if she does a great job, she gets a bonus.

On the same token though, she is typically grounded 3 - 6 weeks for B's unless I'm aware that she's struggled all six weeks in a particular area and has worked hard.

 

[disney*mom*82]

This is the fist year DH ha offered the kids money, if they get ALL A's. Our kids are in 5th and 8th grade. Our 8th grader made all A's first quarter and is on track to do so 2nd quarter (we can see every single grade online at any time) 5th grader was struggling and is improving this quarter. Both of our kids know that good grades are expected (DH and I are teachers too) and they both understand college and scholarship possibilities.

I think one of the reasons that DH offered them money for straight A's was to first of all motivate them a little more and also because we are going to WDW over Christmas break so this gives them a chance to "earn" extra money for souvies and stuff while there. He didnt say this will happen all year, all through school, etc, just if you make straight A's 1st quarter Ill give you X amount of money for WDW.

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

My husband's family did, my family did not--his family had better students. (2 salutatorians and 2 valedictorians, so 4 for 4 pretty much for hubby and his siblings).

Not saying that paying for grades caused all of that--but I'm sure it helped in some way. Hubby was one of the valedictorians but he was a bit erratic with his studies until high school....B's and C's!

We homeschool,so we don't pay for grades per se. I don't really have much incentives built in right now. I do bribery for their music lessons though. They have to have music and the only way I opt for that is private lessons. So I have to dangle some carrots to keep them going. They don't get the carrots until violin teacher clears them for perfecting the song.

 

[shortbun]

It's pretty obvious that there is no right answer. I think it depends on the child. If money will motivate them like nothing else-do it with money, seriously. Money is why we all work, right? We don't take the lowest paying job either, do we? Kids need money, paying them for good school performance makes sense to me. Likewise, there would be a penalty or loss if grades were bad due to lack of hard work. Seems like it imitates adult life.

 

[luckey-lasvegas]

We just started this year. Actually my dad started the ball rolling and DH said he would match it. DD is in the 8th grade and we decided that if she gets A's every quarter for her high school career then the $500 was a small investment if it meant she could qualify for a $1500 scholarship. That being said she doesn't get an allowance and is expected to help around the house as needed. She get's $10 for every A and $5 for every B in 5 subject areas (math, science, english, social studies,and music). If she gets straight A's her GF gives her an extra $50.

 

[mrsbornkuntry]

I guess I am in the minority at this point, I do not. We tell our kids that if they work harder when they are younger then they will not have to work so hard when they get older. There are so many merit scholarships to be had when they get good grades and that was also an incentive as they know that we will help as much as we can but we have four children to help. I think it is important for them even at a young age to understand that they do not need to be paid for everything and that a good work ethic whether in school or otherwise is a strong assest to have.

I agree with this. Plus I don't want my children to feel sad when one of their siblings gets paid for good grades, but they got a poor grade when they're struggling to understand a subject and are really trying. I do praise them profusely and tell them how proud of them I am.

It is actually a pet peeve of mine with my nephews. My sister pays them for chores and grades and it's to the point now where every time someone asks them to do something they ask for money, they don't understand that things just need to be done.

 

[mrsbornkuntry]

I do reward my daughter (age 10) for A's at the end of each six weeks. I think of it as a job. In many jobs if you do a superior job, you get a bonus (or at least a raise). School is her job so if she does a great job, she gets a bonus.

On the same token though, she is typically grounded 3 - 6 weeks for B's unless I'm aware that she's struggled all six weeks in a particular area and has worked hard.

Grounded for B's???? That seems like alot of pressure to me.

 

[mom3sonstt]

Hi there, as someone who grew up "getting paid for grades" I dont do it, and i will tell you why...i have 3 kids-teenagers....Both my girls work 100% at school, go above and beyond and get great grades (lol, one gradded last year-so she did get good grades)...Then there is my son....almost no effort, very little work....all the way to grade 9, he was almost straight A's, now he more like B's and C plusses in grade 12...In my case, how could i have paid my son for A in math that he didnt even have to work for, but both my girls worked 100% harder and only came out with a B......I think you can pay over all for a job well done, or pay if you only 1 child, but when you have more than one, some get good grades with no effort, and others work much harder and may only get a C plus...I would almost rather pay for the effort over the grade...anyways, that is my 2 cents....

I totally get what you are saying. When I was a kid I remember my brother getting money for a good report card. When I brought it to her attention that my report card was better I was told something like they expected me to get good grades. I didn't think that was totally fair. With my oldest I tried to make a deal with him that I would pay him $2 for an a , $1 for a b, nothing for a c, he would owe me$.50 for a d and $1 for an f. We would total up his whole report card....there were also bonuses for raising a grade from one quarter to the next and an additional bonus for honor roll. He would never agree to it......I had it written up like a contract. I think the part about him owing me for below averagebgrades scared him off. He would have always come out ahead. The only time I ever got any leverage was when they wanted to get their drivers licenses. I told them they hadbto get and maintain a b average in ordervto qualifybfor the good student discount on car insurance.



Pardon the typos....it's awkward doing this on the iPad