Do you "monitor" your spouses' internet usage?

[JadenLayne]

Froggy that is so cute!!!!!

DH doesn't get online much. So I really don't have anything to monitor. He has his own email at work and I never look at it but I have access to it if I wanted to.

As for him watching me, I'm always online, he sometimes will look over my shoulder at what I'm doing but never in a noisy way. Just walking by or something. He knows hes welcome to see anything I do, but he has no desire to.

 

[lovmy2girls]

We have a friend who got married a few years ago. They have one computer. She has a email account, and will not give him the password. Its his and hers email accounts. Do I think she is hiding something? Yes!

 

[slo]

My DH and I trust each other completely and we always have.

My DH is totally fine with me being on the DIS and supports it completely. I tell him stories about people and he knows there are men on here I talk to, and he's fine with it.

My DH also goes on a message board for auto racing, and I'm sure he talks with some ladies back and forth. I know he's not going to cheat on me, we have a strong marriage.

We treat each other like independent adults, because that is what we are. If I wanted to live with my father, I would have stayed single and continue to live at home.

 

[tabrizia]

We have a friend who got married a few years ago. They have one computer. She has a email account, and will not give him the password. Its his and hers email accounts. Do I think she is hiding something? Yes!

This won't actually bother me. In fact it doesn't bother me. Hubby has half a dozen email accounts for various things, I know his password for some of them, but I don't know his email for his work email, there is no need for me to know it. Honestly I won't really care if I knew his email passwords at all, the only reason I do is because I had to check something for him a couple of times.

I would never moniter what my hubby is doing online just like he doesn't moniter me. We are both on a couple of messageboards together, but not all of them. If he is going to cheat on me or do something unethical, preventing him from getting online at home isn't going to help that at all anyways. Well, plus the fact he has three degrees in computer science and while he could block me, there is no way I could block him, especially since he works from home online .

Either way it is a trust issue, I trust that he is not doing anything I won't approve of on his computers, while he trusts the same of me.

 

[lovmy2girls]

This won't actually bother me. In fact it doesn't bother me. Hubby has half a dozen email accounts for various things, I know his password for some of them, but I don't know his email for his work email, there is no need for me to know it. Honestly I won't really care if I knew his email passwords at all, the only reason I do is because I had to check something for him a couple of times.

I would never moniter what my hubby is doing online just like he doesn't moniter me. We are both on a couple of messageboards together, but not all of them. If he is going to cheat on me or do something unethical, preventing him from getting online at home isn't going to help that at all anyways. Well, plus the fact he has three degrees in computer science and while he could block me, there is no way I could block him, especially since he works from home online .

Either way it is a trust issue, I trust that he is not doing anything I won't approve of on his computers, while he trusts the same of me.

I totally understand what you are saying, and agree. But, if you asked for a password, and he didn't give it to you, would you think that was strange, odd, or he was hiding something?

 

[Michie]

The last time the Dh used a computer was back in 99. Once a year he checks his email, he has to ask me what his password is It is the same as mine, for I wont forget it. He checks his email so sledom, and the only mail he gets is from Sears, and the Snap On man that it self deletes.

 

[Michie]

Just want to add, the DH is NOT allowed to make hotel reservations via the internet or phone or smoke signal. The last time he was on the computer, he made hotel reservations at the Hillbilly Inn for 20 bucks a night.

 

[kdibattista]

I'm lucky... DH has no clue how to use a computer
On the flip side... I have no problem with DH checking what I do. He wouldn't... not his style... but I have nothing to hide. In fact, I do most of it sitting on the couch next to him.

 

[MsDisney23]

DH and I both have our own computer's etc. We both have no problems, etc. I do have a girlfriend who left her dh over online sexual addiction. She says she caught him in the act one night, they where using web cams, etc. So I guess there can be some major problems with some on the computer.

 

[Eeyore'sthebest]

DH and I use the same computer. I don't monitor what he does. But I have to tell you there are some wacky people out there. He's a SAHD so he's on-line when alot of women are. He plays pogo bingo and they have a little chat feature. Sometimes they e-mail their photos so they can see who they are chatting with. DH uses one from about 12 years ago. He has received pictures of women that are naked. He usually saves them to show me because he thinks they are rather pathetic. Its bingo - he never thought he would get naked pictures in return. And you should see some of the stuff he gets. Its actually rather funny. My whole thought is that the women should actually look at their pictures prior to sending.

Oh, and he just found out there was a CB on the Dis. I was talking to him about the motorcycle thread and he asked me what that had to do with Disney. Ummm, nothing. He looked at me completely shocked. "And here I thought you were planning the trip this entire time."

 

[helenabear]

Um, no way would I even think of it! He has friends (male AND female) on different forums than I do. I also have male and female friends on my forums I visit. We both know where the other posts, but those are things we don't share much in common with (ie me Disney, my DH on his gaming forums) so we rarely both go there.

He's an adult and I will treat him as such. I expect the same amount of trust and respect back.

We have a friend who got married a few years ago. They have one computer. She has a email account, and will not give him the password. Its his and hers email accounts. Do I think she is hiding something? Yes!

Sorry, I 100% disagree with you. My DH does NOT look at my e-mail and I do NOT look at his! I wouldn't want him to look at mine and vice versa. It isn't because *I* am hiding something, but I consider it wrong for him to look at personal e-mails that others have sent me. It is a violation of trust among my friends. They have the ability to send something to me and know full well my DH won't hear about it. It's only fair to them. I will not give him my password and he does not give me his. I don't see it as hiding, I see it as respecting my friends' privacy.

 

[Dancin Desert]

I've only montored S/O's "history" once, and that was after S/O had monitored mine. We have few of the same interests, so I don't really care, nor have reason not to trust S/O.

 

[TnKrBeLlA012]

No one ever worries until they end up on the Dr. Phil. Then they can't believe this happened to them. I think you can trust someone to a point. If they want to cheat they will. You as the spouse may never expect it. Who does? But the internet can cause alot of problems for relationships. Even the best of them.

 

[mom2rb]

I never worry about my DH's internet use. Maybe it helps that he spends all his online time chatting with a bunch of guys about what armor they've won & about what monster in what dungeon they are going to kill next...

If you don't have trust, you don't have NUTTIN'!

I think your DH and mine are internet buddies.

 

[dcgrumpy]

Sorry, I 100% disagree with you. My DH does NOT look at my e-mail and I do NOT look at his! I wouldn't want him to look at mine and vice versa. It isn't because *I* am hiding something, but I consider it wrong for him to look at personal e-mails that others have sent me. It is a violation of trust among my friends. They have the ability to send something to me and know full well my DH won't hear about it. It's only fair to them. I will not give him my password and he does not give me his. I don't see it as hiding, I see it as respecting my friends' privacy.

ITA. DH and I have separate email accounts. We don't know each other's passwords, honestly though we could probably figure it out since we both tend to use the same ones over and over again. Neither one of us would ever think to ask the other for their password, we're not hiding anything it's just a matter of privacy. It sounds to me like the husband lovmy2girls was talking about is the one with the issue not the wife. jmho of course

 

[FroggyinArk]

I think your DH and mine are internet buddies.

dont laugh,, i found out one time a guy whose posts i read on a forum for people who had lost an eye was actually the SO of one of the ladies i chatted with here. she was telling him about her friend who lost an eye, he told her to send me to that forum, and i was already there.

 

[lovmy2girls]

Um, no way would I even think of it! He has friends (male AND female) on different forums than I do. I also have male and female friends on my forums I visit. We both know where the other posts, but those are things we don't share much in common with (ie me Disney, my DH on his gaming forums) so we rarely both go there.

He's an adult and I will treat him as such. I expect the same amount of trust and respect back.


Sorry, I 100% disagree with you. My DH does NOT look at my e-mail and I do NOT look at his! I wouldn't want him to look at mine and vice versa. It isn't because *I* am hiding something, but I consider it wrong for him to look at personal e-mails that others have sent me. It is a violation of trust among my friends. They have the ability to send something to me and know full well my DH won't hear about it. It's only fair to them. I will not give him my password and he does not give me his. I don't see it as hiding, I see it as respecting my friends' privacy.

Again, I totally understand what you are saying. My husband is on a fishing forum with women too, and I have not desire to check up on him. But...Its there if I wanted to...If I asked him for his password, he wouldn't say no you can't have it. Its not secret. Thats when I think it has gone a little to far. Same for email. We have 3 different email accounts, and we both know the passwords for all of them, it one of us wanted to know. One is his email that he gives out for his stuff, one is my ebay and mine I guess, and one is joint. He knows my friends, and I know his.

Am I missing something? If I am please help me understand. Seriously. I guess You could just toss it up to everyone is different, as well as all marriages are different. Some people live someway, some people another way. Neither is good or bad. Right or wrong.

 

[Stacerita]

If someone is going to cheat, they are going to cheat. Monitoring their internet usage probably wont change that. If cheating is what they are going to do, they can just as easily find someone on the street.

Now, if you are talking about online porn or some other online sexual additction, thats a whole other Oprah. If someone has a hard time with that, then yes, monitoring and blocking is needed.

Personally, I would never monitor someone. I either trust them, or I dont. And if you are at the point where you feel you need to monitor them to see if they are cheating on you or something, you already have the answer I'm sure.

 

[Disney Doll]

I wouldn't "monitor" an adult...male or female.

If they have a problem with Internet porn, they need to get themselves some help and monitor themselves.

I am no one's mother. Nor do I wish to be.

If there was a cheating or Internet porn problem, I would make my choices & decisions based on the situation. I wouldn't become the "Computer Police".

 

[RickinNYC]

lol it wouldnt be so bad if she wasnt always flirting with this rick guy,, oh wait,, never mind thats me..lol...

Well hellllooooooooooo Frogman!