Alright now. I MUST post what I have been going through this weekend. This will stray a little off-topic, but it is highly relevant to the planning of our trip.
I have now been on South Beach Diet for almost 2 months. Since January 13th. I have had a few occasions where I have gone off course a little. About once a week I indulge in a girl scout cookie, or two (ok then three), or I might have bread with my Italian dinner at Rocco's. But I am still steadily losing weight and really enjoying fitting into my smaller clothes and having to pack away some of my larger ones. It is just a great feeling.
A couple of nice things happened yesterday. I flew from Austin to New Orleans yesterday morning. The first flight (AUS-HOU) was full. I was a "C". So I got a middle seat. I passed by the first one I saw and this nice lady tapped me on the shoulder. She said "excuse me - do you want this seat next to me?" I gladly accepted and when I sat down she said "Well someone was going to sit here and I'm happy for it to be a skinny person". Oh my that was a HUGE compliment. I thanked her immensely.
Then I got to our hotel and Dad met me and brought me to the room. When I saw Sierra (step-mom), she gave me a hug and said "wow! you look GREAT!" I thanked her and she asked me how much weight I have lost. It feels so good and is so reassuring.
So...enough gloating. On with the story. When planning the quick New Orleans weekend, I decided that I would "break" the diet for the weekend. You know, the jambalaya, pasta, etouffe, all the good stuff is here. Not to mention Hurricanes and other alcohol-infused delights - and complimentary drinks while at the casino...wow!
Yesterday, we had Pat O'Brien's. I had gumbo and the Cancun Shrimp. Well, the gumbo was great, but that really didn't break diet much. There was a small spoonful of white rice (off diet) in there, and I'd say the sausage was borderline (high in fat?). But seafood and broth is clearly on the diet. The Cancun shrimp, I was looking so forward to. It is coconut shrimp battered in Pat O's pina colada mix with a fruit sauce. Sounds wonderful! In fact it was wonderful. Just not as bad for you as it sounded. The batter was very thin, just enough to get a flavor. Not much coconut in there at all, so it wasn't as bad for you as any "normal" battered and fried shrimp. The fruit sauce wasn't syrupy or overly sweet, and had chunks of real fruit in it. Also, it was probably under an ounce. Again, allowed on the SBD as a carb, and not so bad for me. So that was alright. I enjoyed it and didn't even veer much off diet.
Later, we were between the French Market and the hotel and we stopped at Cafe du Monde for some hot cocoa and beignets. At the time I was still stuffed from lunch, but the hot cocoa warmed me up. We ordered one order (of 3) and we each ate 1. This was delish and hit the spot, but it filled me up for the full rest of the day. I know both of these items are off-diet. But when we have been to Cafe du Monde every time in the past, I've had at least a full order of beignets all to myself. No way I could do that now on this smaller stomach! That's good news!
Ok so here's the clincher. Last night for dinner, we had comped buffets. We went in and I took a tour to scan what's available. That dessert bar in the center had everything under the sun - including german chocolate cake, brownies, chocolate mousse, and a - what?! - chocolate fountain!! Heaven, I tell you! (Everyone knows I am a certified chocoholic) So I am truly looking forward to the dessert bar at this time.
So I have completed my scan and I start with a tiny amount of salad. I leave off the carrots because they are off-diet and not worth it to me. I put some light Italian dressing on lettuce and a cherry tomato. Then I picked me up some shrimpies. Peel-'em-and-eat-'em. A Dad and Susie special! Still on-diet. Now, I spied some brown sugar glazed baby carrots - clearly off-diet - and pulled about 7 of them for my enjoyment. Then I put a nice little sliver of garlic toast (off-diet) from the Italian bar on my plate. At the carving station, I picked up a small piece of ham (lean - on-diet). There was fried catfish and mashed potatoes with gravy. They wouldn't fit on my plate at the time, but I was so looking forward to these. I would go back for a second plate after this one.
Sat down, ate the small helping of salad, took a bite (1/2) of a baby carrot. Hmmm...interesting. This is good, I thought to myself, but not as good as I wanted it to be. Have you ever had that feeling? So at that point I'm like - it's not worth it. No more carrots. Move them to the side of the plate. Ate my ham (about half of it), and the garlic bread - now this was an indulgence. I loved that one. That's my only REAL cheat here. Time to go back for the mashed taters and gravy, catfish (yum!). But guess what? I was not interested in them. They just didn't entice me at all. so I didn't pick them up.
Now I picked up a dessert plate and circled the massive dessert bar. Hmmm...let's start with the chocolate fountain. The gentleman will skewer up some cherries and strawberries and let the fountain pour milk chocolate bliss all over them. Yummmyyyyy! But there's a line. Worth the wait? Let me look around a bit more.
German chocolate cake? Not sounding so great. I picked up a macaroon - I LOVE coconut. I saw these cute little balls of something brown, rolled in green, purple and gold Mardi-Gras sprinkles. I MUST try one of these! They look like they have chocolate in them! Got the smallest one - just in case it wasn't great. Picked up one chocolate chip cookie (I really miss these - especially when they come with oatmeal in them), which looked strangely like a Soft Batch cookie right out of the package. I picked up a brownie (certified chocoholics cannot pass up brownies, ya know), but it was iced and I really don't care for iced brownies. I prefer the flaky crustiness on top. Still, I picked it up. Inside the case? Eclairs - yum! Chocolate mousse - yum! But as I studied them waiting for the kind lady to ask me what I wanted and deliver from the case, they sort of turned into looking like .... hmmm...maybe like a piece of stale white bread or something. That's the only analogy I can think of. You know, probably tasty enough, if you need something, but I can live without it. So I passed on anything else. Back around to the chocolate fountain - nahh, the strawberries aren't looking so fresh, and if I'm going to do chocolate, I prefer DARK chocolate - they had none of that.
So now to the table with my 4-item small plate. Macaroon - one bite - check! Lovely! What's that little sprinkled ball? I took a bite of it and I guess it was a truffle. But far too much of a coffee taste. I'll leave the rest on the plate. Poor little ball of Mardi Gras fun... Too bad I didn't like you at all. Let's taste the cookie. Yep, straight out of the package. Room temperature, not fresh-from-the-oven. Not at all worth it. The brownie? I forked off a corner and let it melt in my mouth. A little dry, but just your average brownie other than that. I took one more bite thinking maybe I was mistaken. Nope, average brownie.
So I looked up at Dad and Sierra and it all dawned on me. None of this is so great. I don't think it was that the food was bad. It was a really nice buffet and the food seemed really good and well-prepared. Dad and Sie loved it and were quite satisfied. It's just that after all the build-up of thinking "I am going off-diet this weekend and I'm going to enjoy these things I have been missing so much", nothing was satisfying whatsoever. I just couldn't believe it. I was disappointed.
How does this relate to WDW and my PTR? You see, I have spent hours upon hours studying online reviews, the Zagat guide, and food porn for all these fabulous restaurants in WDW. I have painstakingly made all the ADRs so that we will get to enjoy the best in "fine" dining, having in mind all these off-diet indulgences that I'm looking so forward to. The desserts look amazing! I just can't wait!
Well, after this weekend's attempt to go off-diet, I am not sure how this will turn out. It's just really a weird thing - I'm not sure it's disappointment. I can't think of the adjective. I think there is something about this SBD that makes you really not enjoy all those things that are not-so-good for you. Dr Agatson says in the book that the first two weeks will cure your sugar addiction. I didn't really believe it, but now I think I do. Those starches and carbs just aren't as flavorful as I want them to be. I can easily pass on them now.
So I'm sure the meals at WDW will still be wonderful. But I guess I probably won't be ordering all the carbs and starches and sugars and desserts that I previously thought I would order. There's nothing wrong with that. And nothing wrong with my shrinking waistline and the fact that I am going to HAVE to go shopping next weekend to get some smaller clothes. But I just can't pinpoint the feeling. I've never had this feeling before. I think this is the best diet ever. Not "best ever" as in I'm really excited about it. But best ever as in - it's really something I can live with.
In fact, at this point, I am worried about what will happen when I reach goal weight. (Who worries about that?) I don't want to get to too low of a weight. How am I going to add back enough carbs or calories to keep from losing more weight from that point and to maintain? I have no idea. I guess I'll cross that bridge when I come to it. And I don't think it's a bad problem to have.
I kinda feel like I'm looking a gift horse in the mouth, as the saying goes. Weird melancholy. Oh well, I'll get past it. I have to apologize for the length of my rant, but I think it is important to get it journaled. Therapeutic? Yes.
Thanks for reading.