DO you matter?

[PrincessKsMom]

I'd like to think that I make a difference and matter to my family. I would also like to think that there have been times where I have given others advice or my opinion, or even just a smile, and made a difference in their day. That may have made all the difference and mattered somewhere down the line to someone else. I like to believe in Pay It Forward. It may be one small kindness that one passes on to another, who passes it on... but in the end it all makes a huge amount of difference somewhere. I don't need to feel like it's all about me and how I personally matter to the world. I am but a small speck in the universe and that's alright by me.

 

[ols386]

I will give to those in need of food/clothing. There is a woman who comes to the place where I work, and she asks for cash to buy food, and I will usually give her $20. I honestly don't know if she really is so poor that she really needs the money for food or not, but I give it to her anyway.

Once I was walking to my car in the parking lot of a shopping center, and a woman came up to me and asked for cash to buy food for her children, and I gave her some money. Who knows if she really needed the money for food for her children, or maybe she needed money for drugs....I just figure that if she was going to use the money for drugs or something of that nature, then she's the one who will have to answer for that someday....I didn't question her.

I don't know if this type of thing counts as far as making a difference, but this is what came to my mind.

 

[DisneyBamaFan]

I think I'm feeling a little depressed. I want to feel like Im making something better than it was, but right now I just am not doing it. My kids and family, yes. But nothing further than that right now. And some days not even that.

Not to be short, but this is an attitude that I simply do not understand. Unless you have done something to place you in debt to society, you need feel no guilt for not working to improve the circumstances of anyone outside your immediate circle. If you choose to work beyond that circle, do it for the joy of it, not because of some perceived debt or self imposed requirement...

 

[Luv2Scrap]

"To the world you may be one person, but to one person you may be the world."
-Author Unknown


I would like to think I am making a difference by raising my child in a much different way than I was raised. I'm stopping the cycle.

 

[Tosie]

He can't "do" anything for anyone, not even himself. But he brings joy to every person who meets him.

That's a lot more than many people can do!

 

[teacups]

Not to be short, but this is an attitude that I simply do not understand. Unless you have done something to place you in debt to society, you need feel no guilt for not working to improve the circumstances of anyone outside your immediate circle. If you choose to work beyond that circle, do it for the joy of it, not because of some perceived debt or self imposed requirement...

I dont feel guilt. None at all. I feel "desire" to make a significant improvement to somebody/thing else. If everyone said they felt no need to improve the circumstances of others there would be a dark hole in the world. You may not feel that, and that is perfectly fine, but for you to think that its out of guilt is not in line with my thinking/feeling.

 

[Serena]

I may be mistaken, but are you asking for suggestions, or asking what everyone else is doing?

 

[Liberty Belle]

I matter.

I work as a para with kids in special education. Previous years I've worked with kids with Autism, but this coming year I'll be in a classroom (HSC 1) with kids with behavioral problems.

I also give to various charities and I love to help people out whenever I see someone needing help.

ETA**********Ok, I just read through the first page of the thread and I wanted to explain how I feel. Some might feel it's boastful or vain to state what you do and how you "matter" to the world. I've gone through many days, though, of feeling like I don't matter. Feeling like I could drop of the face of the earth and not many would notice or care I was gone. So, knowing what I do to help others and declaring that makes me feel good. I'm not in the least bit vain, honestly, but I do like feeling like I matter. Plus, if others read some of the things other people make do to make a difference, it might inspire them or give them ideas.

 

[DisneyBamaFan]

I dont feel guilt. None at all. I feel "desire" to make a significant improvement to somebody/thing else. If everyone said they felt no need to improve the circumstances of others there would be a dark hole in the world. You may not feel that, and that is perfectly fine, but for you to think that its out of guilt is not in line with my thinking/feeling.

Your posts make it sound as though you feel some sort of internal conflict because you are not "doing enough". That is what I do not get. Do, or do not, but the conflict is gratuitous self-flagellation, IMO.

I owe nothing to the world, but I do what I can to improve the circumstances of the people around me. Sometimes that is a lot, sometimes nothing at all. I never feel poorly about myself when it is the later, but I do not aspire to save the world - just my little piece of it. Makes my life a lot simpler...

 

[disneyworldluvr349]

Your posts make it sound as though you feel some sort of internal conflict because you are not "doing enough". That is what I do not get. Do, or do not, but the conflict is gratuitous self-flagellation, IMO.

I owe nothing to the world, but I do what I can to improve the circumstances of the people around me. Sometimes that is a lot, sometimes nothing at all. I never feel poorly about myself when it is the later, but I do not aspire to save the world - just my little piece of it. Makes my life a lot simpler...

How can you owe nothing to the world? How can you not want to give people with no homes, medication, or freedom the life that we so selfishly take for granted?

I am sorry but that was appalling to read.

Turn on the news and there is war and genocide in a country, children are dying, women are being raped, and the destruction of homes and lives are happening daily. Millions of people starve to death everyday while we munch on our Big Macs or on our "five dollar foot longs" from Subway. And don't tell me "I earned it" because they never even had a chance to try.

 

[mamajoan]

please forgive me if I am getting off topic.

I believe in the ripple effect... so if a person makes even a small positive impact on another person.. that grows .. and the positive reaction can then be passed on to the next.

It can work for the negative action too.... but hopefully that can be repelled by a positive response to a negative action....

I believe everyone matters.... even those who are unable to act or respond.
ie... a completely comatose patient matters in the whole scape of life because they cause others to respond, react Not to mention the stimulus that they provided for others even before they became comatose.


and teacups.... my dear, imho... you are taking stock of yourself and that is a good thing. If you want to make an impact on someone else's life... .one where you can see the results of your actions.. move forward on that decision. Choose something that you are interested in... anything at all.


Anybody remember the episode of Friends where Phoebe trys to do a completely unselfish act?? .... she finds it difficult because if she donates she gets joy, if she gives something.. she got a pat on the back... she thinks that it must be selfish if she should feel good about doing something for someone else.... so there can not be a truly unselfish act of kindness.

I disagree because I think that if you act beyond your own "needs'' then that can be an unselfish act... if people respond positively to that act that is fine with me.

oh and I think having the ''desire''... is really cool...

 

[teacups]

Serioulsly? Thats what you think about wanting to help?
Hmmm... not me. I feel like I was put here for more than just making sure I have everything I want and that I'm comfortable. It's an honor to help someone or something that cant help themsleves.

 

[Ekon]

Everyone in the world matters in some way, just buying a box of corndogs at the store you could be saving someone else s life.

 

[Wishing on a star]

I agree with those who question this thread...

I think any effort to assign value and 'I matter' is a misguided and very clear exercise in self-righteousness and vanity.

One should want to do good and to help others for the benefit of others, NOT for self engrandizement, to make one feel like 'I' matter.
(PS: I am not surprised by the profession of those who have been quick to jump in because 'they matter'.)

No, of coarse there is not free pass to 'do nothing'.
But, what one is able to do is a function of how much a person has been blessed. (I am less able.....)

 

[disneyworldluvr349]

I agree with those who question this thread...

I think any effort to assign value and 'I matter' is a misguided and very clear exercise in self-righteousness and vanity.

No, of coarse there is not free pass to 'do nothing'.
But, what one is able to do is a function of how much a person has been blessed. (I am less able.....)

It is not vain to think that you have touched the lives of people, or made a difference.

If you are happy with being average and don't "assign value to your life, there wouldn't be a President of the US, there wouldn't be inventors who want to make a name for themselves. And we would be up a creek without a paddle.

I am sorry but anyone is able to help, sure the ways in which we help may differ, but EVERYONE can help.

 

[Wishing on a star]

Sorry, but I will very strongly, but respectfully disagree.....

 

[disneyworldluvr349]

On what part exactly?

Do you not have the ability to write? To talk?
Words are very powerful when put to good use. They can make a difference just as well.

 

[DisneyBamaFan]

Serioulsly? Thats what you think about wanting to help?
Hmmm... not me. I feel like I was put here for more than just making sure I have everything I want and that I'm comfortable. It's an honor to help someone or something that cant help themsleves.

No, that's what I think about this discussion...

 

[DisneyBamaFan]

How can you owe nothing to the world?

Because the world gave me nothing.

How can you not want to give people with no homes, medication, or freedom the life that we so selfishly take for granted?

You assume a great deal if you think that I take anything for granted...

 

[DisneyBamaFan]

I agree with those who question this thread...

I think any effort to assign value and 'I matter' is a misguided and very clear exercise in self-righteousness and vanity.

One should want to do good and to help others for the benefit of others, NOT for self engrandizement, to make one feel like 'I' matter.
(PS: I am not surprised by the profession of those who have been quick to jump in because 'they matter'.)

No, of coarse there is not free pass to 'do nothing'.
But, what one is able to do is a function of how much a person has been blessed. (I am less able.....)

You said this so much better than I did...