Do you live with a packrat?

[mfd25wife]

Ok. I live with two major packrats, my DH and my DD. I have no problem in weeding out DD's things especially since most items I purchased, or they fall in the trash category she just can't seem to let go. However, I'm not so sure about DH. He keeps EVERYTHING! For example, he had 43 t-shirts at last count, and way too many magazines and old old catalogs. I feel like I'm drowning in stuff. I have had friends tell me that they would slowly throw things out or donate them where it wasn't very noticable . Have you ever done this with your SO's things?

 

[2goofycampers]

My DH is a packrat, we have together set a certain amount of space for his "stuff", so he either has to stop saving or throw/give some things away when his space is full.

 

[Froggyswife]

Welcome to my world Frog is the biggest pack rat in the world. OR was he is getting much better. When we first got married I went through the house and threw a bunch of stuff away that looked like junk to me. He came home and had a fit. I had thrown out his great grandpa's calvery saddle and saddle bags. Heck we didn't have a horse it was all dusty and the leather was cracked I figured it was junk. Well after that I wouldn't throw anything away that wasn't mine or our dd's. I am OCD I like order everything has a place and everything IN it's place. (I'm one of those people who can't have a fringed throw rug because I would spend all day staitening the fringe.) Frog is a slob. He leaves his stuff everywhere never puts things up and brings home so much junk he has found that "we may need some day" that he was driving me INSANE!

Finally one day we were both home and I was trying to clean the house. When I stopped in the middle of the living room and SCREAMED. Then when I had his attention I told him that both of us lived here we both are different personalities and ways but we were going to have to do something about the mess it was driving me crazy. So we compromised and eventually I could see table tops and the boxes of stuff in my living room (argggggggggggggg) are down to just a couple now. The scrap lumber in the back yard got BURNED. (I honestly thought the man was going to cry) He cleaned out the shed and turned it into his workshop for his lathe. I was able to put all our gardening and holliday decorations in the shed. Course everything has a coat of wood shavings on everything but hey compromise right? So that's what I did.

Now the point I'm trying to make is that basically you just need to sit down and discuss how you feel and them compromise. With clothes if you haven't worn it in 6 months throw it away, donate it to good will whatever but get rid of it. OH and magazines and stuff are a good hiding place for pests so they really need to go and not be piled up. They are like condo's for termites.

 

[TLSnell1981]

Yes, **gulp** me. I know, I'm trying to get better but, it's really, really hard.

 

[koolaidmoms]

I actually say I have a DD (8) who is actually an 80 year old woman. I have to go in and hoe her room out at least 3 times a year. We even cleaned her room down to almost nothing and thought she was doing really well until we went out on her sleeping porch. We never even looked there because the door was never open during the winter. She had stashed papers, tags from clothing, little bits of nothing out there. I took out 4 big garbage bags! She doesn't know why she does it and she knows she shouldn't but she can't help herself. I worry for when she gets older and I am not there anymore to clean it out.

 

[mfd25wife]

Welcome to my world Frog is the biggest pack rat in the world. OR was he is getting much better. He leaves his stuff everywhere never puts things up and brings home so much junk he has found that "we may need some day" that he was driving me INSANE!

Finally one day we were both home and I was trying to clean the house. When I stopped in the middle of the living room and SCREAMED. Then when I had his attention I told him that both of us lived here we both are different personalities and ways but we were going to have to do something about the mess it was driving me crazy. So we compromised and eventually I could see table tops and the boxes of stuff in my living room (argggggggggggggg) are down to just a couple now. The scrap lumber in the back yard got BURNED. (I honestly thought the man was going to cry) He cleaned out the shed and turned it into his workshop for his lathe. I was able to put all our gardening and holliday decorations in the shed. Course everything has a coat of wood shavings on everything but hey compromise right? So that's what I did.

Now the point I'm trying to make is that basically you just need to sit down and discuss how you feel and them compromise. With clothes if you haven't worn it in 6 months throw it away, donate it to good will whatever but get rid of it. OH and magazines and stuff are a good hiding place for pests so they really need to go and not be piled up. They are like condo's for termites.

I've tried and tried to talk to him, but he does not understand that it truly stresses me to walk in and see stuff thrown everywhere. He thinks I just don't like it. I've tried to explain that I truly physically feel the stress build up. Maybe the screaming would work. I would try just about anything at this point. I'm slightly OCD. I'm not bad enough to be medicated, but I hate hate stuff that never gets touched just laying around "just in case". His dad actually gave him some open bottles of whisky. He doesn't even drink whisky but he won't throw it out. His dad is not deceased or I might even understand that. I'm weird in that I like to clean, but I get so frustrated trying to find homes for everything. The clutter is draining. I'm working on him on his jackets. His dad gave him some jackets that are not in the best shape. He won't wear them, but I found where he was stashing them. He said he was saving them for his DS (who is 15, and no where close to being able to fit in them). I asked him why he thought DS would want to wear them in 10yrs or so if he didn't want to wear them now . Part of our problem is that we not only have things he has bought, but his dad will not throw anything away. He brings it to DH . Our garage is full, our closets are full, our shop is full, etc..

 

[mfd25wife]

Yes, **gulp** me. I know, I'm trying to get better but, it's really, really hard.

Would it bother you if someone "decluttered" for you? DD almost doesn't care since she admits she freezes when it comes to going through it all.

 

[PaulaSB12]

Would it bother you if someone "decluttered" for you? DD almost doesn't care since she admits she freezes when it comes to going through it all.

It would bother me a lot, because stuff that someone else gets rid of could be important to me.

 

[Stitchfans]

Yes, DH is a packrat. As he stores it I secretly throw it away.

 

[sdarwkcabemanmy]

Unfortunately yes. DH has a ton of free and promo teeshirts from various places and every now and then I try to weed some of them out. He always gets mad at me though for throwing out his ratty old teeshirts. I would just like for him to wear something that doesn't have a darned logo on it for once. Even his dress shirts (some of them anway) have his company logo on them.

 

[C.Ann]

My late DH and I both used to be horrible pack rats.. Then I discovered eBay and started selling quite a few things - although never without DH's permission..

Then when we had to move out of our house and in with my DD and her family, I really had to do some serious weeding.. Held a gigantic garage sale and probably got rid of 90% of our "stuff"..

Comparing then to now, I have decided that I prefer not having so much "stuff" anymore.. So much of it was just packed away and being saved "in case"..

However, DD inherited my "pack rat genes" and you don't even want to look in their attic..

 

[chisnpeke]

Yes, **gulp** me. I know, I'm trying to get better but, it's really, really hard.

Me too.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

I tell DH to get it out of my way or it gets tossed.

He knows he is a packrat and has his stuff in totes that are important in the basement.

 

[TLSnell1981]

Would it bother you if someone "decluttered" for you? .

One woman's clutter is another woman's treasure!! DH and DD have tried to do this in the past. It embarassed them when the neighbors found me with my feet sticking out of the trash can. I kind of got stuck digging out all the good stuff.

 

[mfd25wife]

One woman's clutter is another woman's treasure!! DH and DD have tried to do this in the past. It embarassed them when the neighbors found me with my feet sticking out of the trash can. I kind of got stuck digging out all the good stuff.

They should have taken a picture!!

 

[Mellie2162]

My dh used to be a packrat, that is until his father died and we had to clean out his part of the house. Let me just say it took us months and many many trash bags and boxes. We still havent got rid of a lot of his stuff from the attic, just because we dont have the time. Now dh makes sure his stuff is cleaned out to a reasonable level. He really used to hang onto stuff but now he doesn't. Now dd is a BIG packrat. She will save anything and everything. We have to get on her constantly and go through her room with her to get the "junk" cleaned out. Me and ds could care less. When its time to go through his things to do a clean out he will toss down to the bare walls and be happy and im the same.

My parents are horrible horders though. My mom just asked me to come and clean out the dining room for Thanksgiving dinner. It was horrendous but we got my dads stuff moved out of the way and cleaned up. She complained the whole time about him keeping stuff but then I said well mom lets go through your room and get it nice and tidy and with a look of horror she said, but theres nothing to get rid of in there.

 

[SHAYMARAYSMOM]

DH'S mom is a packrat. She has so much junk. Right now she is renting to huge storge bins.
She says it all worth a lot of money. She will always tell me when she dies it is all mine. This is how I am sure it has no value.

 

[MoniqueU]

My mom lives with us. I try not to go into her room too often, everytime i do it looks worse. Papers everywhere, More clothes then anyone should have, cabinets and dressers stuffed and covered with crap. But I love her.

 

[Kathi OD]

Yes. DH saves everything. When we moved, 3 years ago, lots of stuff went missing. He hasn't missed any of it yet. Guess it wasn't that important.

 

[Fintastic]

Yes, DH is a packrat. I'll put it this way: when we moved 2000 miles in May, we couldn't bring our living room furniture because we had to make room in the U-Haul for DH's old VHS tapes. And we don't have a VCR.