Do You Let Your Children Take A Friend?

[Martha7]

Wow! You guys are all so generous! My Ds's have asked over the years if they could bring a friend along, but I've always wussed out too. We're a family of 4, which means we're already going to fill up a normal resort room. Then you add on the expense of the extra person for meals, etc., and then I always had the worry of whether one of my boys would take off with the friend and fail to meet us back at the designated spot, etc. As I said, I never got too far down the road of taking the idea seriously. I did have a best friend growing up whose family took me along on many local weekend trips, and it worked out great. That was back when I was in junior high, and my friend and I were inseperable anyway. Her parents knew we'd get along, wherever we went. Anyway, I just wanted to give you all mad respect for being so kind to the "friends" out there!

 

[LindsayDunn228]

I just have to say, I am an only child and the only time a friend ever went with me was when I graduated high school. We stayed in Kissimmee, spent 2 days at WDW and a few days at Daytona Beach.

I NEVER got lonely or bored in all the years we went to WDW and other places. NEVER!!! When I took my friend, we had fun, but I missed it just being me and my grandparents and mom (parents are divorced). The sense of family just wasn't the same as it was before. Not to mention I am an early-to-bed-early-to-rise person, and my friend liked to stay up all hours of the night and then sleep late.

I don't think your kids are going to lamblast you when they are in their 20s for not letting them take a friend.

 

[Miss Inga Depointe]

It depends on the friend.

We've let friends come along but only if they have already spent a lot of time around our family!! We're a weird bunch, and we wouldn't want to scare the little things!!!

Also, there are friends of the kids that we just know wouldn't fit in with the family - or that are too high maitenance. I have final veto power over whether I'd let someone come along.

That said, we've had a great time with friends along and we've become great friends with the kids' friends this way.

 

[jpeltier]

Last year my DD was 10 and a half and we brought her friend with us.It was great. The two girls enjoyed both the parks and the giggles. This year she's decided she wants to go back to WDW and Universal and again we're allowing her to bring a friend. We also will have connecting rooms at CSR.DD is thrilled and feels very grown up. She's not an only but her brothers are 29 and 21, and yes, we allowed them to bring friends with us when they were younger.We pay airfare, tickets, and of course room and board. She will just bring spending money. Its really revs up the anticipation for my DD. After a long year of hard work at school ,my DD is really looking forward to this trip(DH and me too!!).

 

[powellrj]

you said that this was your first family trip so no, I would not take a friend. There is so much to see and do that your DD will not be loney or bored on this trip!!! The only time I would suggest taking a friend along would be if your DD was much older, (like high school age) and you had been many times before. My DS was an only for the first 8 years of his life, and he never was bored or loney at WDW. There is so much to do!!!!

 

[Disneyholic]

If you decide to take someone you may want to consider having the parents write up a temporary guardianship and have it notarized. That way if anything happens on the trip and you can't get ahold of the parents right away you can make the decisions.

We took DS girlfriend 3 years ago. Both were 16. I was thinking about the guardianship papers and lo and behold here Mother had one made up and notorized at work before I even had a chance to say anything to her.

DGF had her own money for the trip although we did subsidize for things like Hoop-de-doo Revue and other more expensive things we wanted to do on the trip.

The main problems we had were, the kids didn't want to start moving till 11 a.m. and then DGF wanted to watch the cartoons on TV. Said she didn't get cartoons at home. When they had a fight she walked with me and he walked with his Dad. This was our 30th anniversary and she acted like a spoiled brat a lot of the time.

The only saving grace for us was sending the kids to Disney Quest while we went to Victoria & Alberts for a quiet dinner for 2. What a special night. Since they were both 16 we felt quite comfortable leaving them there for the evening and meeting them there after our dinner. Since your child is younger, if you want to go out with DH by yourself you would have to come up with some kind of babysitter.

Have a good time whatever you decide. There can be good things and bad things with having the extra person in the mix.

 

[DVCLiz]

I'm facing this decision, too, for spring break next year. DD16 wants to go to the beach with friends, and her spring break is a different week than DD11's is. So DD11 and I will go to Disney, and I'm toying with the idea of a friend. Just not sure I want to be responsible for someone else's child for a week, so I think it will just be the two of us!!

Definitely would not take friends when both girls were along - this is primo sister-bonding time in our family, as girls are allowed to go to parks, pools, etc by themselves and they love the opportunity to be together on a "grown-up" adventure.

 

[jillybeanjo]

I have a DD 10 1/2, too, who is an only child. She has never taken a friend to WDW, and we still have a blast! She and DH have so much fun riding the thrill rides together, and when we all go on some of the tamer rides, we just let DD sit with one parent or the other - no big deal. I would not let her take a friend at this age, but will probably do that when she's older if she wants to. Right now, she enjoys spending time with her parents - and who knows how much longer that will last.

Do you have any family friends with children close to your DD's age? We have traveled to other places with friends this way, and this gives our DD a chance to enjoy the company of a friend without the responsibility on our shoulders for someone else's child.

 

[corinascot]

Our ds (10) is an only child. We took him this year and last year. I thought about bringing a cousin along, but I'm so glad we didn't. We had a wonderful time together. When you think about it, so many of the rides don't involve 2 people riding together and 1 alone. On most of the coaster type rides (test track, space mt., splash mt., BTMR..) one of us would sit in front of the other 2, but you're still on the ride together. Another thing we'd do that my son liked was to ride a ride together (such as Space Mt) and then get 3 fastpasses and give ds the option of riding with us again or riding 3 times in a row alone, or riding with one of us and then riding once alone. I think ds liked all the options.

We've been at amusement park with friends or cousins several times and it has its drawbacks. Once, his friend was afraid of most of the rides ds wanted to ride and ds didn't want to ride the kiddie rides. Another time his OLDER cousin was too short to get on many of the rides (ds is very tall). I know this is something parents of more than one child deal with all the time.

I wouldn't be surprised if we bring a friend or cousin on vacation with us when ds is older, but right now we're all happy with just the 3 of us. We've vacationed with extended family before and I enjoy it, but there' s nothing like a vacation with just the immediate family. I think it really brings us closer.

have fun!

 

[Tinkim]

Hmmm. . . I think this is such a personal decision based on your families wants/needs. I have done several trips to WDW. One was with my DH, kids, and my mom. DH's family was down there also (grandparents and sister and BIL) but they didn't spend much time with us. We had a great time. The second trip was my DH and 3 kids, my mom and her sister, and my best friend and her three girls. That trip was a bit harder because my friend had never been and the girls didn't always get along but for the most part enjoyed each other's company. The last trip we took was just me and my three kids. We had a great trip and didn't really miss having 10-11+ in our group. The next trip we will be taking my best friend and her kids again and also my son's friend. My son and his friend will be 13. But my other DS is 1-1/2 years younger than his brother and his friend and they are together all the time and get along extremely well. It is shool vacation now and his friend has been here since Friday! He is like part of our family and we call him our "other son." He would never get to WDW if he didn't come with us and he is so serious about going he had already saved up $200 and our trip isn't until February. However, he is the only friend they have that I would consider taking because he knows our family very well and he gets along with both of my sons and will come over to hang out with my younger DS even when older DS isn't here so it is probably a unique situation. By the way, I think this is much easier with boys. My DD has some good friends but it seems like they can only get along for a certain amount of time and if there are 3 girls together forget it! The only reason DD's friend accompany us is because their mom is coming also and it is easy enough for them to spend some time apart if they have been together too much. For me taking my son's friend was an easy decision because he is such a good kid and spends so much time with our family and gets along with both of our boys and we wanted him to have the chance to experience WDW because he thought he would never be able to go. Good luck in whatever you decide. I'm sure it will be a fabulous trip whether you go as just the family or take along a friend.

 

[cruisnfamily]

Here's a link to an article on the allearsnet site that discusses this.http://www.allearsnet.com/btp/authors_sehl2.htm

We are bringing DD12's friend this year for the first time. We've never brought a friend before but have brought my niece in the past. We gave her a short list of friends to choose from. Told her we had to be comfortable walking around in our jammies with this person and had to know the person was comfortable with us. We eliminated all the high maintenance friends and the catty friends and the friends that she fights on and off with. The one she chose off our short list will be a good fit. She's polite and follows directions and the two of them don't bicker on a regular basis. I think they'll have a blast! We're paying for transportation(we drive 2 1/2 hrs), hotel, all meals and snacks and probably a small souvenier. We have asked the parents to pay for 1 dinner show plus park tickets. They'll pay $150. We plan to do the following:TL, DQ, 1 park day MK/Epcot, Pirates Dinner show, Outta Control Magic Show, Lazer Tag and DTD shopping. We thought asking for $150 was fair and so did they, they jumped on it right away and said they thought it was more than fair.

So, that's our story. I'll let you know how it works out. In the past, DH and I have felt it was family bonding time but as DD gets older we have changed our mind. We also have a DS9 and he's not bringing a friend and he won't be allowed to for several years. He's fine with this. My DD is shocked and amazed that we would allow her to bring a friend and it's really upped the excitement for her.

 

[bopper]

If you do want to bring a friend for your child, make sure you know the personality of the child and could you stand that for the vacation.
Also, does the friend like to ride the rides?

We took a bunch of girls to our local Six Flags amusement park and it was a pain because some girls (my DD11) wanted to go on the big roller coasters and some were scared to go on the little ones (like Goofy's Barnstormer).

If the friend is well known to you, well behaved, and somewhat adventurous, then go for it. If they can get whiny and you don't know if they would go on all rides that you would, don't bother.

 

[Tiger Fan]

I think it could work fine in many cases and you know best about your family's plans and relationship to your DD's friends and families. That said, we also have an only child and so far we've not taken a friend, but we've done several trips that included the entire other family of our DD's friends. This worked out the best since we had the fun of the other child for our child, but not the full responsibility. Do you have any close family or friends with children close to your DD that would want to vacation with you? This would be the best of both worlds. I can forsee in the future that we might take along her best buddy on a trip however. Have fun.
Lisa
Tiger Fan

 

[blessedby3]

We have allowed our DD to take a friend on vacations since she was 11 years old. She always takes the same one- her best friend- and she is like a second daughter to us. This is the first time we will be taking a friend to Disney (last time we went we had ressies at CR and really wanted to stay there and couldnt fit another one in the CR so friend stayed home). The friend is SOOOOOOOOOOOOO excited to go because she wouldnt get there any other way (parents are divorced, Disney isnt high on their priority list, etc.) and we are happy to share this with her. Her family is paying for her park tickets, MVMCP ticket and $100 towards meals. We are going to be gone for 10 days and are doing character meals also, so this will in no way cover all her meals. We will pick up the rest, but as a family of 5 I do need for her parents to pick up most of her bill. Otherwise, we could not afford to take her to Disney and she really wants to go. Her parents have no problem with this. On other vacations like the beach we always cover her expenses. I think as long as you know the other child really well and the family it shouldnt be a problem. Also, our DD and her BF dont ever fight- even on vacations- and that makes all the difference!

 

[qtwns]

My DS took a friend when he was 6 almost 7 and the friend (who is like family) was 7. It was great. It helped keep my DS from being odd man out being that he has younger twin brothers. We agreed that her family would pay for her park tix and we picked everything else (although they graciously contributed toward food.) We're toying with the ides of taking another friend this time. Be careful who you take and think long and hard about it, bit it'll be fine. My first and only WDW trip as a child was as a tag-along friend. I'll never forget that trip!

 

[antmaril]

At your daughter's age, I would say no. You will have great fun and make family memories to cherish forever.

That said, once your daughter gets older, say high school age, you may want to bring a friend. I took my son and his girlfriend (both 17 at the time) to WDW last year and we had a great time. She had never traveled and showing Disney to her was like us seeing it for the first time.

It's really a personal decision. When my son was 11 we took his best friend with us to a condo we rented in Northern Michigan. I found it very stressful. I was very sensitive to the fact that I was responsible for this kid and I wanted him to be happy all the time. Anyway, not the best vacation of my life and we didn't take another friend with us until that trip last year.

 

[maxaroni]

I think my DS would love to have a friend go on vacation with us. He's an only child and gets pretty bored w/ just mom and dad all the time.

He's 12, and I know personally I wouldn't let him go away to Florida (or anywhere else not locally) w/ a friends family. Maybe it's that only child thing. You kidding me his father (my ex) is taking him in August for a week and I'm already very stressed about that. He's never done this before.

I'm hoping in a few more years though he'll be able to bring a friend along.

We should hook up! My ds is 12, too! Also an only child

 

[maxaroni]

I thought you might need a hand paddling this boat...it's a hard one to be in if you ask me. My DS is an only child and will be 13 in just 3 weeks...I contemplate this topic often in my own mind. There are so many factors to think about....
Will the other child get homesick?
How will a week of "togetherness" affect the two friends? My best friend and I growing up actually knew when we'd hit our "best buddy" limit and would avoid each other until we were over it.
Who will pay for the friend? As another poster pointed out, taking our family can be expensive enough. For us, being new DVC members, that can reduce the cost, but it's still not cheap to feed teenage boys.
Which friend? DS, at this point, has one friend that we might consider taking, but the friend happens to be afraid of heights...so not sure how good it would be to take him to WDW.

We understand the "Theme Park 3 is a bad number" syndrome....there is always a single rider in the group, so we think a friend would be great for DS, but....

Maybe in a few years...high school age might be better! Like you I still am uncertain!

Our DS is 12 and there is an awful lot to think about. We've taken a friend for a long weekend and can't say I'd want to do it for 1 wk.