Do you know someone who is/was an alcoholic?

[raysnkaysmom]

My Dad was an alcoholic. He came home drunk one night and fell asleep with a cigarette in his hand. He died in the fire. I was 10 at the time and that was over 40 years ago.

Wow...how awful!

I know several alcoholics. Some have stopped drinking, some have not, and some have died from it.

Most alcoholics make several attempts to stop drinking before it actually "takes."

I've never been 'addicted' to alcohol or cigarettes, but I imagine it's about the same... its hard for them to quit, and it doesn't always work the first time. My mom was/is (I believe even if they are sober, they will always be an alcoholic once they take that first drink again) an alcoholic. She quit drinking when I was 12... so...22 yrs sober now . But, there were several attempts before it finally stuck. AA meetings were a big help to her in the beginning, and she may go to one or two a year still.... Definitely they must steer clear of others who are drinking to make it work.

 

[Lovely2CU]

Thanks for your replies. My friend lives practically opposite a pub too, his second home.


How tragic.

My Dad was an alcoholic. He came home drunk one night and fell asleep with a cigarette in his hand. He died in the fire. I was 10 at the time and that was over 40 years ago.

 

[Cool-Beans]

We have a friend who is a big time drunk. He checked himself into one of those places once, then he called and said, "You gotta get me outta here" as soon as he figured out that they didn't have a bar there.

I don't think he'll ever sober up. I hope your friend does.

 

[Pakey]

My mother decided to get help 28 years ago when my son (her first grandchild) was born and she realized she was too afraid to hold him). She went into a residential care facility, then a halfway house, went to AA for at least the first decade and has been sober ever since.

She had been a closet drinker. None of her 3 children even knew she had a drinking problem and my father had never mentioned it to us. Talk about a shocker when after a month of her being in a residential facility, we weren't buying my dad's story that we "had just missed her" when we stopped by or called and he finally told us where she was and why.

 

[KimR]

I had a family member who drank non-stop from morning till night every single day. For the past 10 or so years of her life I never once saw her drink one drop of a drink that wasn't alcoholic. No water, no juice, no tea, no soda - she didn't drink anything unless it had booze in it. I honestly don't understand how she lived as long as she did without severe liver problems. She consumed an unbelievable amount of alcohol, yet was amazingly functional considering the amount she drank. She never acknowledged she had a problem.

She passed away, but surprisingly enough, it was from cancer and not directly alcohol-related.

 

[ozarkmom]

I've known several. I know a couple of people who on their own were able to stop. My daughter's ex is only 25 and has been drinking getting dwi's, pi's, disorderly conducts etc since he was about 19. His dad just spent a huge amount of money for rehab. Within two weeks of getting out he was drinking again. Two months he was arrested for dwi and a couple of weeks later a public intox. He lost his job at Wal mart due to his drinking. He's 25 he's never had a job longer than 3 months and he's been in and out of college for 7 yrs with no degree. His father was able to stop on his own 7 yrs ago. I have a former boss who was a horrible alcoholic he had started drinking as a teen and quit at age 55 and said giving up cigarettes were harder. I guess my point is I don't understand anything about addiction. I see people that stop on their own , others that go through treatment and don't stop, and I know people that drink every day but work and function normally.

 

[carone0318]

My father. He decided that his alcohol was more important than his family. I haven't talked to him in 19 yrs. I assume he is alive, if he wasn't I'm sure my Aunt (his sister) would say something. He never met my dh or my children. Between my brother and me, he has 4 grandchildren and has never met them.

It's a shame, but it is his loss.

What is even more sad is that I don't miss him.

 

[Rora]

My grandpa was an alcoholic and died from it.

OP- good luck to your friend. They're going to need you!

 

[luvmy2sams]

My MIL drank herself to death ten years ago.

My FIL is also an alcoholic.

 

[Gabes_mommy]

Both of my paternal grandparents were alcoholics. It killed my grandfather when my father was 18. My grandmother got sober through AA and stayed sober for over 30 years before passing on in her sleep earlier this year.

 

[ChrizJen]

My Dad was an alcoholic. He came home drunk one night and fell asleep with a cigarette in his hand. He died in the fire. I was 10 at the time and that was over 40 years ago.

I'm so sorry. What an awful thing to have to live with all these years.

My dad was an alcoholic. He drank when he was younger, and was told that he had liver damage and that he needed to stop. He was able to get sober and stay sober for many years. He recently had some ongoing pain issues with his back, and began taking prescription pain meds for it. He didn't know that the pain meds he was taking were doing further damage to his liver. He passed away a month ago tomorrow from liver failure. And none of us knew that he was sick. He probably knew and didn't want to worry us. He went into the hospital on a Friday and passed away a week later. He was 57.

My dad proved that alcoholics can get sober and stay sober. It's not easy, and it takes a serious realization on the part of the alcoholic to seek help. But it can be done. The key to it is that an alcoholic needs a strong support team of people who WILL NOT expose them to alcohol in any form. They have to basically let go of all of the "friends" who encourage/enable the drinking. The people with whom a recovering alcoholic surrounds himself/herself with need to be 100% committed to helping the alcoholic stay sober. Part of the guilt that I have after my dad's death is questioning whether or not I was always there for him the way I should have been.
But that's another story for another thread. The bottom line is that programs like the one you're talking about CAN work, and work really well. The person just has to be committed to making it work.

 

[ClarabelleCowFan]

Yes a few. Dated one for awhile that could never stop. Last I heard he was still getting into tangles with the law because of his drinking.

I also just lost a friend at age 36 who basically just drank himself to death. He had some anxiety issues and was drinking heavily. His body went into liver and kidney failure and he passed away. He left behind a wife and 3 kids.

 

[eliza61]

A good friend of mine has been admitted to a clinic, The Priory, today for alchohol dependency. Their abstinence-based addiction treatment programme, usually incorporates a 28+ day hospital stay supported by twelve months of structured aftercare.

Do you know of anyone? Did they have any help/treatment and was it successful?

My brother is a recovering alcoholic. He's been sober for about 10 years now (he's 45) but he admits that it is a constant battle. I'm glad your friend is getting help. It can be done.

 

[Anonymus]

This is a one time post and account.
I was an alcoholic. Two bottles of scotch a day for many years were "normal" for me.

All the treatments in the world will NOT HELP !!!!
The only person that can help you is YOU.
Its not a disease ,it can't be cured.
A drunk as me is a total selfish person that has only one goal: how to get more booz.


I'm not proud of myself. I hurt many many people that love me.
I was better in hiding booz than Houdini was in escaping.
I could tell you a thousand hiding places and a million excuses.
I'm sober now for 20 years but I know than ONE glass is enough to start drinking again.
Am I being harsh? Sure but I know what I did to the ones that still love me.
I learned my lesson . It was a hard one but I was the only one that could be blamed for the mess I created.

 

[HomeSweetDisney]

My grandfather was and IS an alcoholic. It's terrible the things it does to a family and the effects it has. My cousin and I grew up watching him verbally abuse my grandmother, waking up in the middle of the night to scream at her and sometimes us if we tried to defend her. The only thing I can say is that luckily he never raised a hand to any of us. But verbal abuse can leave just as many scars. It's hard to be angry at him for it...he's 80-something years old now and with his wife (my grandmother) in the nursing home with Alzheimer's I know he feels guilt for all the things he's done. But it's too little too late ya know? He never got help and now it's too late to make a difference. I sympathize with anyone who has dealt with this issue. It's tough.

Best of luck to your friend OP I hope they get the help they need.

 

[justjudy]

I have been in recovery for 13 years; DH for 10. Getting sober was the best, though not the easiest, thing we ever did. I did it on my own, DH went to rehab. We both have been in therapy.

 

[Jynohn]

For anyone out there who loves an alcoholic, I highly recommend the book "Getting Them Sober" by Toby Rice Drews. The main point of the book is that the best thing you can do for an alcoholic is to allow them to suffer the consequences of their drinking. That means not making excuses, not covering up, and not doing for them what they should be doing for themselves. It also means not bailing them out of trouble, whether legal, financial, or otherwise. Only by doing this will the alcoholic hit their "bottom," come to realize what a destructive force alcohol is in their lives, and hopefully decide to seek help. Many people unknowingly become "enablers" when they try to control an alcoholic and their drinking. The book stresses the three C's, "I didn't cause, I can't control it, and I can't change it."

Hugs to everyone who have been affected by this terrible disease.

 

[mlynn]

My husband has been sober 3 year this October. He was given a choice his kids or drinking.I put him out (3 weeks he wasn't home) and he went to AA and hasn't drank since.
My uncle died 13 years ago.Was in treatment at least 5 times. Nothing stopped him.

The thing is.The alcoholic has got to want to be sober.If they don't they won't get sober. I pray for your friend!

 

[SCHBR'smom]

My dad drank and smoke and was in such poor health because of it that he died the day before his 52nd birthday. I was 21 and had just had a baby (she was 3 mo when he died). He talked to her on the phone, but he never actually saw her. The closest was standing in the hallway of ICU with the door open. Children weren't allowed in the room.
I remember him drinking every day. Always beer. To this day, I have never had a drink of beer because I can't stand the smell.
To the PP whose father died in the fire, I had that worry as a child. I can't count the number of times I cleaned up the ashes covering the floor when he fell asleep and the ashtray ended up on the floor. I'm sorry for what you went through.
I still think the Vietnam War had a lot to do with my dad's problems. The only time he ever talked about it, he was drunk. One Thanksgiving, I was maybe 10 or 11, my dad told me that he had one confirmed kill in Vietnam. And he described friends who came in from the field. One broke the mirror in the bathroom because a monster was looking at him. I don't think my dad ever dealt with everything.
We've always said that if it weren't for my mom, he would be one of the homeless vets you see on the street.

 

[clgwli]

I've known a few. Sadly the smallest percentage of them are recovering and doing great. Most of them wound up dying young. One due to cancer caused by the drinking. Very heartbreaking to watch One wound up dying in a car accident while drunk.