Do you know someone who doesn't drive by choice?

[yoopermom]

(Inspired by a post on the good MIL thread...)

Now I'm not talking about they can't/don't drive because of illness,age, religion, or living in a big city...

We have a good friend who is in her mid20s and has *never* driven or wanted to drive. She's a SAHM, in a very traditional household, and is happy to have her DH work full time, and then drive her to do errands, go to family member's homes, etc. She's perfectly happy being at home and walking around her (very) small town. She's perfectly normal in every other way, but just doesn't drive.

When I tell people this, they're shocked by it, but I would bet there are more nondrivers (by choice) out there.

Terri

 

[goofyintoronto]

Yup. I have a friend who doesnt drive by choice. She's too chicken. Dont know why, but she is. she keeps saying she will go for her licence but i dont believe her. she's in her mid 40's already. if she hasnt gone yet,why start now? Once you hit a certain age you become more and more afraid i guess. I dunno.

 

[Mr.MouseFan]

I am one. I choose not to because I don't have a need for it and it's too expensive. NJ has the highest insurance rates in the country, gas is ridiculous, and most places around here you need to pay to park. It's much cheaper (and better for the environment) to take full advantage of public transportation for me.

 

[cluvsdisney]

My SIL doesn't drive. I am not sure why.

One of my aunts didn't start driving until she was in her 50s. She lived in a commutable area for a long time. When she moved to south Florida and couldn't commute to her job she relied on car pooling until my mother sat her down said she needed to learn because the car pooling thing wasn't working out to well.

 

[shinysparklybubbles]

I can't imagine being a SAHM and not driving. I'm a SAHM and I feel like we are never home! Drs apts, preschool, grocery shopping, etc. I couldn't function if I didn't drive.

 

[gator75]

My grandmother didn't. I don't know for sure if she even learned. She wasn't the type to talk about it she was very private. I asked my mom and she said that she though she may have driven on the farm , but couldn't say for sure.

 

[luvmy3]

I can't imagine being a SAHM and not driving. I'm a SAHM and I feel like we are never home! Drs apts, preschool, grocery shopping, etc. I couldn't function if I didn't drive.

I know. What happens when you need to drive? I had to pick dd up today because she was sick, and then I had to drop off my dses inhaler at his school because he forgot it. Nothing here is within walking distance.

 

[design_mom]

I know a non-driver. She's in her 30s and single. I have known her since college. I asked her once (then) why she didn't drive. She told me she took drivers ed and "didn't like driving" so she decided not to.

At the time, she planned to move to a big city after graduation where she wouldn't need a car. But she's still in our city. Our city is not very pedestrian-friendly. We have some mass-transit, but not much. She rides her bike to work, but relies on others to take her where her bike/bus won't go.

I don't think she's very self-aware about how her decision affects others. She doesn't seem to think people mind driving her places. I've taken her a few places. She doesn't see it as an inconvenience/asking for a favor, she sees it as a good opportunity to spend time with a friend (at her doctors office, or shopping for something she wants/needs). Fortunately she doesn't call me very often, and she is generally a nice person, so I help when I can... but I'd rather spend time with her doing something that's fun for both of us rather than driving her around.

 

[AshleyInWonderland]

I am one. I know how to drive and I have a license but I choose not to.
I learned to drive my senior year of high school and I hated Driver's Ed. Frankly I'm not comfortable driving I always think I'm going to crash the car or kill myself. Right now I don't need a car to commute and I plan in the future moving to a city where I can walk/ride a bike/bus/subway/ect. I've also met 3 girls around my age online that do not drive as well so I'm not the only person my age (even though it feels like it) who doesn't drive. It's just a personal preference for some people.

 

[Pigeon]

I work with a few people like that, and I'm in an area with less than stellar public transportation. It must be very difficult to get around. But they are scared to drive.

I can sort of understand it. I hate driving. I don't mind so much around town if I know where I'm going. I loathe highway driving or driving in strange places.

 

[tzolkin]

I am one. I choose not to because I don't have a need for it and it's too expensive. NJ has the highest insurance rates in the country, gas is ridiculous, and most places around here you need to pay to park. It's much cheaper (and better for the environment) to take full advantage of public transportation for me.

Yes, I know people who live in cities and don't drive for all the same reasons.

We live in a very rural area with no public transportation (10 miles to school, 40 miles to any major stores) so it's just not realistic for someone to choose to not drive here. You would really not be able to leave your house since nothing is within walking distance. And since things are so far, I can't imagine depending on other people to drive you places. That would be extremely inconsiderate, time consuming and costly to friends/family.


Although I didn't go out much when I was a SAHM (very harsh winters and two babies with extreme motion sickness), I couldn't imagine not having the option if I needed it. It would have gotten old really fast if my DH had to leave work every time I needed to pick someone up from school, go to doctor appts, get something I forgot at the grocery store, etc. What about an emergency?

 

[penn19]

[



I don't think she's very self-aware about how her decision affects others. She doesn't seem to think people mind driving her places. I've taken her a few places. She doesn't see it as an inconvenience/asking for a favor, she sees it as a good opportunity to spend time with a friend (at her doctors office, or shopping for something she wants/needs). Fortunately she doesn't call me very often, and she is generally a nice person, so I help when I can... but I'd rather spend time with her doing something that's fun for both of us rather than driving her around.[/QUOTE]

This is my mom. She decided not to drive because she didn't want to have to run errands. Nice, huh? Not because she couldn't, or because she had a medical issue. She just didn't feel like it. I am sure that she thinks its no big deal for other people to haul her cookies around, but not only is she a non-driver, she is a back seat (front seat passenger?) driver.

 

[SandrA9810]

My boyfriend refuses to learn. He took the permit test three times and failed by 1or2 more than the allowed.

Its getting old fast and he needs to learn. Its too small for the big city and too big for a small town, optional transportation is not handy or cheap. It always creates arguements when I go to Texas.

I get why he never learned from his family, his mother has totalled like 5 cars and tries to drive stick shift with one hand, while the other is holding a cell phone. But he gives me every excuse in the book when I try to teach him.

 

[Ginny Favers]

I can completely understand people who don't drive because they're afraid. I got my license and didn't drive for years after that because I was scared to death. Luckily, I was in college, and didn't really need to go anywhere. But once I got my first job...

As a mother of young children, I wouldn't make it a day without my car. I can only think that the person in the original post must have a really understanding spouse. My husband would smack me upside the head (and I'd deserve it) if I forced him to shuttle me around after a long day of work.

 

[apirateslifeforme]

Pretty much me. I have a license and a car, but I don't drive unless I absolutely have to - and I will NOT drive on the highway. I admit that I am afraid of the way other people drive. I get passed on the right on one-lane roads (I do go about 5-10 over the limit, so I'm not "puttering along"), I get run off the road by people passing in the oncoming lane (coming head-first into my lane so they can pass the car in front of them, so I have to swerve off the road to avoid being hit), they pull out of side roads right before I get there, I get tailgated constantly...something happens just about every time I'm behind the wheel. So I don't drive unless I HAVE to.

 

[PollyannaMom]

I do drive, but there are places I don't drive.

For instance, I'm fine with normal everyday stuff, but I always take public transportation if I'm going into the nearest large city. The traffic is really tough, and I just don't think my skills are quite up to that level.

I think knowing yourself - your strengths and your limitations, is a good thing.

 

[Mkrop]

My mother didnt drive until she was 46 and my dad died, that she learned to drive, and she is still pretty scared to drive certain places, no highways, wont go over the big bridges. She only learned bc she had two young boys still at home when he died.

When I was little we lived in suburbia and we walked everywhere, and I mean everywhere. In all kinds of weather. Sick as a dog, and we would walk to the drs. It was ridiculous and quite embarrassing.

I dont know if it was true but she told me my dad said they couldnt afford a second car and the insurance. He wanted her to be a SAHM. And he carpooled so every other week the car sat in the driveway, I get cutting corners but this was insane.

Although the nanosecond I was eligible to take my license, he ran me over to the testing center. In fact I failed bc I hadnt even looked at the book, I had just gotten it. He couldnt wait for me to get my license so I could do all the running around.

It made no sense to me, why didnt he have her drive and then only drive the weeks the car was home, or she could drive on the weekends and do all the errands.

When he did die, DH (then BF) and I took my mom and my brothers everywhere, grocery shopping, drs appts, carpooling to high school dances etc. I finally put my foot down and told her I needed a life and she needed to learn to drive. I called a driving school the next day.

 

[Andtototoo]

One of my mother's friends was the same way as the woman in the OP. Unfortunately for her, her dh died young from a heart attack, so she had to learn.

I just remembered another person from my childhood. She was terrified to drive and I'd agree that if you're that afraid, you shouldn't be on the road. But the reason I'd forgotten about her was that my mother ended up cutting her out because she got really tired of feeling like she was an unpaid chaffeur for this woman who had four kids and a traveling salesman husband and therefore expected everyone else to drive her and her kids all over and never offered a dime for gas. Even if it's fear that's keeping you from driving, I do think it's your responsibility to deal with the consequences and not be so reliant on the good will, time and money of others.

 

[MariDisney]

My mother, my sister (in her 40s), and both of my brothers (in their 30s) don't drive. Really, I have no idea why because they are always needing people to take them places. I can't imagine being so reliant on others all the time.

 

[Kitty 34]

I remember my 1st bf years ago.....his mom didn't know how to drive.