Do You Know People That Insult EVERY Purchase You Make?

[Marseeya]

My mom always makes me feel bad like that. Everything we buy is dumb or everything we want to do is stupid. She's the opposite of your friend, though, because anything I buy or do could have been done less expensively, and how can we even think of spending money on whatever it is we did.

 

[tw1nsmom]

She sounds insecure and jealous. There must be something you have in your life that hers is lacking (or her life is just lacking something) and she feels the need to make herself more important to make up for whatever inadequacies she has. If you want to keep this friendship, I would call her on it. Maybe say how much you like her just the way she is and are happy for the decisions she makes in her life, but that it upsets you when she criticizes your decisions. If it's not worth it (you've reached the end of your rope with this friend), or she refuses to change, then get rid of her. As someone else said, this really seems to be a toxic friend. You don't need that kind of energy in your life.

 

[Skywalker]

Maybe it is better if you just don't talk to her as much anymore. Just consider yourself lucky that it is a friend, friendships are voluntary and so you can just loose. In my case, it is a sister-in-law and those I guess you are just stuck with, LOL.

 

[believe]

DH has a friend that always has something better. It bothered DH until I mentioned that we have things in our life, relationship with God and our family and friends, that are more important than material things. I find that individuals that 'down' others tend to be missing something in their own lives and do this to make themselves feel better about themselves.

I just read tw1nsmom's reply and I think we are on the same page.

 

[bobbiwoz]

Isn't there some sort of saying that "My friend knows my faults and likes me anyway!"

I also go along with the sentiment that there are friends for different stages of your life, that there's an ebb and flow of friendship, some get stronger and some recede.

Sometimes traits bother me, but in the end I find that if I miss the companionship of that person, I have to remember the first statement, and sometimes I do back off, and realize we need a break!!

I've lived long enough (empty nester here) to have been "let go" by some people and have "let go" of some myself. Yet, because there were friendships when we see each other even after 10 - 15 years, there's "something" there, we can chat for hours. Usually there comes a time when there's just no more to say, but these friends do have a place in our lives. Each one is a blessing.

Bobbi

 

[Tigger&Belle]

I would also first have a heart to heart with her, explaining how you do not appreciate her comments. If she does it again I would remind her before cutting down on the friendship, if not cutting it off.

My mothing is a little like that, but in the opposite way. She thinks that we waste money because we tend to like nice things and we don't live realy frugally. The reality is that we don't live like she lives, but we also do watch our spendng, we don't waste money, but we spend where we decide to spend. We hardly buy the nicest stuff--far from it! And when it comes to some stuff, I'm pretty cheap.

 

[LoraJ]

I have an old friend who I only email now and sometimes call. While she doesn't put down my purchases (I don't tell her about them, if I did she probably would) she seems to put down everything else I do in my life. And she wonders why I don't email her as much as I used to.

 

[CathrynRose]

No, and to be honest, I probably wouldn't keep him/her as a friend if I did.

Me either....

 

[Tigger&Belle]

Me either....

But wouldn't you first communicate why you were cutting back or dropping the friendship?

I have a friend who is very pushy. She doesn't insult purchases, but she can be patronizing in how she talks to a person. I used to try and ignore it, but finally I started calling her on it. She actually thanked me for it and told me that previously in her life other women had simply dropped her rather than deal with her. I was one of the only people who would put her in her place in a friendly way, but would continue to be her friend.

Sometimes a person really doesn't know how they come across to others. Sometimes they do know and they don't care, in which case they can be dropped like a hot potato.

 

[Boater]

You should be on a better board than this, this where all the low class people hang out

 

[DVCconvert]

You should be on a better board than this, this where all the low class people hang out

Now there's a work of hyperfiction!