Do YOU know Chuck?

[Golf4food]

Chuck Norris has counted to infiniti. Twice.

 

[Golf4food]

More for anyone too lazy to visit the website... these are the favorites picked by Chuck himself (I'm sorry, I mean, Mr. Norris):
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When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live.

Outer space exists because it's afraid to be on the same planet with Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.

Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.

Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.

Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.

There is no chin behind Chuck Norris’ beard. There is only another fist.

When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn’t lifting himself up, he’s pushing the Earth down.

Chuck Norris is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.

Chuck Norris’ hand is the only hand that can beat a Royal Flush.

Chuck Norris can lead a horse to water AND make it drink.

Chuck Norris doesn’t wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.

Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.

Chuck Norris does not get frostbite. Chuck Norris bites frost

Remember the Soviet Union? They decided to quit after watching a DeltaForce marathon on Satellite TV.

Contrary to popular belief, America is not a democracy, it is a Chucktatorship.

 

[Golf4food]

Guns don't kill people. Chuck Norris kills People.


I could do these all day. They are freaking hilarious.

 

[Mr. & Mrs. Smith]

I heard a great interview with the guy responsible for Chuck Norris Facts. Turns out, he's not even really a fan. He just arbitarily picked a celeb to start a website about. I'm surprised you all haven't heard of this before. It's been around for a good long time.

 

[TXTink]

My daughters favorite:

Chuck Norris can put Baby in a corner.

 

[mirmartinez]

My daughters favorite:

Chuck Norris can put Baby in a corner.

Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because Chuck Norris only recognizes the element of surprise

 

[CathrynRose]

My favorites:

*Bruce Banner turns into the Hulk. The Hulk turns into Chuck Norris.

*Chuck Norris grinds coffee with his teeth and boils the water with his own rage.

*The Titanic did not hit an iceburg. The ship was off course and mistakenly ran into Chuck Norris practicing backstroke accross the atlantic.

*When Chuck Norris party's, he doesn't throw up, he throws down.

We love - and I mean LOVE - Chuck Norris jokes in our house.

I was on the internet one day, with the TV on in the background, and my husband was flipping channels. And he stopped on a movie, and I looked at the TV and I said "Hey, it's Chuck Norris" and Charley my dog, looked at me, with the tilted head, did you say my name? look.

I turned to my husband and said "Have you been calling him Chuck Norris?"

He had.

 

[Tiggeroo]

I love these. Chuck Norris’ house has no doors, only walls that he walks through. While looking them up I found this out:
Bob Saget facts are in fact the opposite of the Chuck Norris facts, pointing out Saget's sensitivity. For example, "every night, the boogeyman checks under his bed for Chuck Norris; but then Bob Saget comes in, gives the boogeyman warm milk and quietly reads him a bedtime story.
Oh and I also found this site http://www.bobsagetisgod.com/

 

[Corryn]

Don't ask me where I got this one!

 

[CathrynRose]

Don't ask me where I got this one!

DARNIT!!! My husbands birthday was *just* last week!

Ahhh - maybe next year....

 

[Corryn]

DARNIT!!! My husbands birthday was *just* last week!

Ahhh - maybe next year....

Save your pennies!!!!