Do you know anyone who constantly makes the wrong life choices?

[jonestavern]

my life has, mostly, consisted of many little bad choices that snowballed.
I can mull over a decision like a dog chasing it's tail around & around.
My biggest fault was turning down golden opportunities due to a walloping lack of self confidence
DGrammy offered to have me live with her & get me into USC, I turned it down because I have no math skills whatsover (this was in the 60's when requirements were more strict) & was afraid to fall flat on my face, costing everyone & myself a huge waste of $$$--but I never told her why I made that choice, I was sooo humiliated by my inadequacies. I have turned down good jobs because I am so afraid of people finding out how slowly I learn. Of course, the more I stumble, the more I things I get wrong--I can just hear the snickering, real or imagined..

Can we talk major doormat? 2 family members have been quite a trial & as for 'romance', how about the boyfriends, that although I was emotionally attached to having a relationship, I didn't even love??? I mean what the heck was that? I wised up, realized I had no boyfriend radar & had DSis & 2 of my oldest friends choose boyfriends for me & that is how I began to date DH!
so, although painfully slow I have learned some things!
wish Oprah had been around in the '60's!

I am much better now--but I am no spring chicken, so the regrets are so many & so deep
At least I made the absolutely right choice for a hubby & smile when I see DS17 & have wonderful, close relationships with DNieces22&24
It's been a journey!

Older, but hopefully, wiser--
Jean

 

[jackskellingtonsgirl]

My sister!

She is 25. She graduated from high school, took a few college courses (which our parents paid for) but she could never finish any of them. She would let the drop date pass without dropping the classes, so my parents never got any of their money back AND my sister's GPA sucks. So she got a job with a small company. She was actually very good about going to work, etc. and worked there for several years. Met this loser guy (not sure how or where, she won't tell the truth). She is in tons of debt, nearly had a car repossesed, and I am pretty sure she is attempting to hide from her creditors. Gets pregnant last year because she can't afford birth control. MARRIES the loser! Now has a baby she has no clue how to raise, lives with her in-laws, is married to an idiot who works as a clerk in a liquor store. So my mom tells me yesterday that my sister QUIT HER JOB! The ONE stable thing she had. Oh, and the source of their health insurance! HELLO? Thankfully she does have a new job, but I am sure it won't last long. And did I mention how nothing is EVER her fault? She is always the victim. So is her DH. He can't get a job anywhere else because of this huge long list of asinine reasons, and she just defends him all the way. She is the poster child for immature, bad decisions!

Her DH was supposed to find a better job OR get a second job. Nope. They were supposed to move out to a place of their own. Nope. Last I heard they were waiting for the in-laws to buy them a house. Perfect.

 

[sha_lyn]

One BIL and a childhood friend. BIL in in his early 40's, former friend is 38 and neither have grown up. they can't hold down jobs, are in trouble with hte law all the time etc.
My old friend has probably only lived out of her moms home a total of 18 months in the last 20 yrs, not counting the times she's been in jail or a half-way house.

 

[Marseeya]

Marseeya, I would hardly see the gas company not turning off the gas as requested, or the insurance company charging you twice, as a bad decision on your part. Both of those things would cause me problems too. I manage my money well and we keep to our budget, but we just don't have that kind of extra money laying around.

I am not one to just accept that kind of thing, sometimes you have to be a "witch" and get those companies to take responsibility for their mistakes.

Thanks. But those examples are just a small part of our problems, a good bit of which we cause ourselves -- eating out too much, overspending, not saving aggressively enough, etc.

 

[Disneyrsh]

When people who make bad decisions avoid the consequences of those decisions and receive no negative experience from the bad decisions, then they will continue to make those bad decisions because they perceive themselves actually benefiting.

When you step in and try and 'help' these people, you are simply telling them that what to you is a 'bad' decisions is to them a 'good' decision, because they're helped by it.

So why would they change?

Punishment and misery can be a beneficial learning experience. Negative reinforcement works on the most primitive parts of the brain, and it's very, very effective...

 

[Chicago526]

My brother. If there is a choice to be made he makes the one that will cause him the most problems. He is a hard worker but can't seem to figure out how to get out of a hole he dug himself.

Do we have the same brother?

 

[BeNJeNWaFFLe]

I think everyone knows someone. My moms brother makes stupid decisions, complains about the consequences, and never learns. He has been married 3 times, each ended in him leaving the house with NOTHING. Just the clothes on his back. Then he comes begging for help and money. He practically stole my parents only car when they had nothing to their name. They let him borrow it for a day so he can pick up some stuff from his ex-house. He just took it for the next day also and told my parents he would buy it from them. WT-? His current wife (who he recently left with just the clothes on his back) was his worst choice of all. Everything they owned was hers. She had her exhusband living in their basement and recently she moved her boyfriend in with them. And do you think my uncle learned about women? Nope, he has another girlfriend. Oh and there is drug use, explains it all doesn't it?

DBF's sister and her boyfriend. Too long of a story but both have left reality completely. Lets just say that DBF's entire family (he's italian and cuban, its a huge family) has told them how some of their decisions are not so good and they can make some better ones. And his family is willing to help then make some better decisions. Neither listen and think they know everything.

 

[Disney Doll]

And you know what I hate most of all???

That these people, who can't get it together for whatever reason, then have the gall to call and whine to those of us who can get it together.

They have a million excuses...it's everyone else's fault. Yet I ma anble to live in the same world as they and handle things.

Amazing, isn't it????