Do you know any narcissists?

[katie01]

I mean people you know personally, not any public figures or celebrities. I believe I do, thankfully it’s not a family member but a former “friend”, who I see in hindsight was never a friend at all, just using me for favors and never reciprocated anything. It’s amazing how the narcissist can completely cut people out of their lives without explanation as if they were garbage when they no longer serve a purpose to them. Then you see the patterns and all the signs you missed initially (how they seemed to have an unusually high number of family, or former friends and coworkers that they had a “falling out” with, and that they never seem to have any true attachment to people, they just see them as a means to an end. Just curious if anyone else has had an experience with a narcissist and whether it took you by surprise or you saw it in them right away. I feel like once your eyes are opened to how one of them operates, it’s easier to quickly spot the signs in others. Not that there are many, but they are out there

 

[ronandannette]

I mean people you know personally, not any public figures or celebrities. I believe I do, thankfully it’s not a family member but a former “friend”, who I see in hindsight was never a friend at all, just using me for favors and never reciprocated anything. It’s amazing how the narcissist can completely cut people out of their lives without explanation as if they were garbage when they no longer serve a purpose to them. Then you see the patterns and all the signs you missed initially (how they seemed to have an unusually high number of family, or former friends and coworkers that they had a “falling out” with, and that they never seem to have any true attachment to people, they just see them as a means to an end. Just curious if anyone else has had an experience with a narcissist and whether it took you by surprise or you saw it in them right away. I feel like once your eyes are opened to how one of them operates, it’s easier to quickly spot the signs in others. Not that there are many, but they are out there

Sounds tough...would you like to talk about it?

 

[katie01]

Sounds tough...would you like to talk about it?

Thank you, I appreciate it, I’m fine as it was not a close friend. I guess I just feel more shocked at being so easily duped and then “dumped”. They did the same thing to a mutual friend so I think that also helps knowing it’s not just me (I will agonize over things if I think I have offended or hurt someone in some way without knowing it, but it’s clear in this situation that the problem was not with anything we said or did)

 

[DLgal]

I know two people, who got divorced from each other, and constantly accuse the other of being a narcissist. I wonder how that works?

 

[katie01]

I know two people, who got divorced from each other, and constantly accuse the other of being a narcissist. I wonder how that works?

Lol that is a very good question! Maybe they both were?

 

[BrianL]

I havve known a couple, but I didn't keep in touch with them for very long.

 

[Christine]

Yes, I have one coworker from many years back. Very nice, charming guy but, in the end, a narcissist. I don't dislike him or anything but saw him for what he was. A narcissist will end up screwing you over in some way, shape or form, to protect themselves. I have another coworker--the jury is still out on her.

 

[Heather07438]

I've met a few sociopaths in my life. The first was my sister's boyfriend back when we were young.

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/...our-life/201803/how-spot-sociopath-in-3-steps

 

[AnnaS]

I think we all know one or two

 

[Heather07438]

Agreed, but may be part of the reason he’s such a great President.

https://www.hrmagazine.co.uk/article-details/the-prevalence-of-narcissist-ceos
lol, like the link between CEO and narcissists.

 

[Allison]

A very high profile one destroying everything in their path.

 

[HashberryOTG]

I guess I just feel more shocked at being so easily duped and then “dumped”.

This can also happen even with mild forms of mental illness. I guess that doesn't mean it's NOT narcissism? Never thought about it. I suppose it still is, but it may not be under their control.

 

[katie01]

I've met a few sociopaths in my life. The first was my sister's boyfriend back when we were young.

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/...our-life/201803/how-spot-sociopath-in-3-steps

Very interesting, I wonder how a sociopath differs from a narcissist? Is a sociopath more inclined to try to hurt others than “just” a narcissist?

I have to say some of the things mentioned in that list do relate to this person, mainly the extremes of emotion “you’re the best!” and things like that used when they are getting their way, and then the flying off the handle about little things that go wrong (she always seemed to be irate over some little perceived slights or things she’d tell me about that I thought weren’t a big deal. I figured she was just a perfectionist, everything she did had to look and seem perfect, and she’d complain a lot about “shoddy work” in people she hired, out of proportion to the situation, almost like she’d be in hysterics.

 

[katie01]

This can also happen even with mild forms of mental illness. I guess that doesn't mean it's NOT narcissism? Never thought about it. I suppose it still is, but it may not be under their control.

True, could be

 

[JimMIA]

I know two people, who got divorced from each other, and constantly accuse the other of being a narcissist. I wonder how that works?

Ever watch an Olympic or professional ping-pong match? It works a lot like that -- just with a lot less skill and finesse.

 

[mjkacmom]

My ex BIL. I was surprised, but my sister lives far, so I didn’t see him much. She didn’t realize how much of a narcissist he was until the death of our mom, he really showed his true colors. He’s smart, charming, an entrepreneur (who built and sold a business and never has to work again, which is good because he does not work well for others). My sister tolerated him because she had a nice lifestyle and just accepted that she would be a single married parent. They even tried therapy but he felt the therapist wasn’t on his side. He has zero empathy and isn’t close to anyone even though he has a large social circle.

 

[Cannot_Wait_4Disney]

Very interesting, I wonder how a sociopath differs from a narcissist? Is a sociopath more inclined to try to hurt others than “just” a narcissist?

A sociopath differs from a Narcissist in that his ego is not at stake all the time. The Narcissist wants your admiration. The Sociopath doesn't give a flip about your admiration unless it serves his ends. They tend to be harder to spot and a bit more cunning. A Sociopath can be self effacing or even apologetic or exhibit any personality he wants to if it serves their ultimate goal. The Narcissist is easier to manipulate than is the sociopath. The Narcissist will tend to be much more reactive with his bad behavior whereas a sociopath would tend to have it much more pre planned to serve his ends. In a relationship, the sociopath will be far quicker to dump you if you don't give him what he wants than will the narcissist.

 

[kymom99]

Yes a few

 

[FigmentSpark]

Sadly, I know (knew) one. She was the live-in girlfriend of my BIL. She was a piece of work. Had him raise her kids and then when they were done, had their father come back into the picture to make sure my BIL was out. Total humiliation and years later, he still feels the impact. He thought he'd found someone to love and love him back, but all he got was taken for a ride.

 

[katie01]

My ex BIL. I was surprised, but my sister lives far, so I didn’t see him much. She didn’t realize how much of a narcissist he was until the death of our mom, he really showed his true colors. He’s smart, charming, an entrepreneur (who built and sold a business and never has to work again, which is good because he does not work well for others). My sister tolerated him because she had a nice lifestyle and just accepted that she would be a single married parent. They even tried therapy but he felt the therapist wasn’t on his side. He has zero empathy and isn’t close to anyone even though he has a large social circle.

That’s sad, I hope your sister is ok now (and I’m sorry about the loss of your mother)