Do you know and like your neighbors?

[gina2000]

Geez.....lookie here.......the percentage of women in the workforce as a percent of the total female population in 1960 was 30%. Today that same percentage is almost 60%.

http://www.wachoviasec.com/pdfs/Markets/Economic/Indicator/12-22-03_Indicator.pdf

Think that may have something to do with neighborhoods changing and nothing to do with geography? Or are you still trying to prove that the eastern seaboard is a bunch of unfriendly snobs?

 

[CRB#33]

I'm trying to figure out why you come with your little digs at the Northeast and then leave.

I live Northeast of Philly in the suburbs and have had some of the most amazing block parties! We've rented DJ's, had pig roasts and annual Memorial Day Parties.

And I don't even live in a development.

*editing next paragraph*

You have 10 posts to your name and two of them are digs at the Northeast. Maybe you would be happier moving back out midwest? I mean, life is short and for you to be so obviously unhappy is not making the most of your life.

Then you could post other things too

 

[onecoolmama]

You know..I would pose another thought. Is it worth it to live in an area that you are so unhappy with just to have a"great job" or a "better life?"

When I was working I was leasing aparments. Within a year of being hired I was pregnant and switched to Assistant manager. I was hired in Jan got married in August..so in November..one of my coworkers had a heart to heart with me that really made me think.

She asked me if I liked my job. The job I was hired to do was not just least residental apartments, but corporate apartments..the answer was NO. I never went back after having my baby..but I am eteranlly grateful to her for opening my eyes and halping me realize that I really didnt enjoy what I was doing. Two years before this, I posed the same question to my husband and he realized that he hated what he was doing and therefore changed his career.

So I pose that same question to the OP. As a person that cares about people's happiness..is it worth it to live in an area that you are just not happy in?

Just food for thought...

 

[tlgoblue]

I live in the Heartland, and know most of my neighbors and don't like them. Intolerant snobs, for the most part. The only ones I can stand are from "out of town." There is one exception. My next door neighbors are born and raised Hoosiers, and they are amazing people. Older couple without a snobby bone in their body, even though they have every reason to be so. My only criticizm of them is they do tend to follow the local custom of name dropping. Other than that, they are wonderful and take the sting out of this particular neighborhood. I do believe it is mostly a neighborhood thing, not a regional thing. I've lived in some very stand-offish communities, some ho-hum, and some amazingly supportive and friendly places. I try not to pidgeonhole a region because I choose poorly when purchasing a house. It is pretty much a roll of the dice, and I feel blessed when I have great neighbors, and like I'll just have to bear my "we have nothing in common don't you dare look your nose down on me you used to be farmer who doesn't see your own value besides the brand of car you drive, and think you are all that" neighbors.

Sorry to hear you have been having such a hard time transitioning to your new location. I'd love to say it gets better, but if you don't try to find your place there, it will be difficult, and you may just have to grin and bear it until something else comes along. I'm not implying it is anything you are or aren't doing. In my situation, I am trying desperately NOT to be assimilated, and know I'm never going to really ever call this place home. But I know why I'm here, I have my lovely DH, DD, and DS with me. We have a nice house, the kids are doing great in school, and DH has a good job. We travel often (mostly because we don't like it here ), and try to get, of all places (I know you'll roll yor eyes at this ) The NE as often as possible! The funny part of this bit with my present location, is it is only 168 miles frome my driveway here, to my old driveway in Michigan, but it feel like I'm living on another planet.
Good luck and get out there and look for things that interest you in that area. I'm sure you will find something to substitute for the lack of community that you were so accustomed to.

Keep the Faith!
Tracy

 

[believe]

We live in a cal-de-sac and know all the neighbors in the cal-de-sac, as well as atleast 4 houses up and then some of the neighbors further up the street. We have 'gatherings' in the summer and at Christmas. We are very close to 2 of the neighbors on our street, DH golfs with an individual from each of the 2 houses. I know the profession of all of them and have met the grandchildren of those who have them. I guess you could say I know them....I grew up knowing my neighbors, so I don't know any other way of life. I think you have to work at some neighbor relationships, otherwise they never form.

 

[Alice28]

We have become good friends with one set of neighbors- we have gone to dinner and movies with them, etc. Our other neighbors we chat with, and are friendly with, but are a bit strange.

 

[snoopy]

I live in the heart of Washington, D.C. and know and like most of my neighbors. My next-door neighbors are a little strange, but very nice just the same.

My neighborhood is multi cultural, and we are the only family that actually hail from the D.C. area. Many of the families are foreign born. Which works well for us, our kids have playmates from all over the world, of different religions and races. I'd never want to live in a cookie-cutter neighborhood where everyone acted and looked the same.

 

[Pin Wizard]

I guess I pretty much have pleasant neighbors. They say hello and smile. There are only a couple I would approach if I really needed help with something. But I guess that's a good thing. Like when I ran down the street to Pat and Peter's a few years back when I had a snake in the garage! (I'm now thinking of Shep! He's the snake person to me...LOL!)

 

[Danauk]

I didn't know my neighbour who live behind me (we share a garden fence) was pregnant until a week before she had the baby. I would recognise her husband if I saw him out shopping but not her. It was only when I saw her at the shops with her husband that I realised she was pregnant. The woman who lives across from us actually had her baby before I realised she was having one!! I guess we don't really live in a friendly street (which is a shame.) Saying that the guy who lives next door looks after our animals when we go away.

 

[onecoolmama]

LOL Danauk! That happened to us too. My neighbors were like..oh you had a baby? She is over a year now!

 

[battricia]

One Cool Mama, don't feel too bad! I moved into this house (a side by side duplex) with my boyfriend in september, and it's been kindof depressing for me! My boyfriend moved in in May, and across the street from us is a house with two men (father and son I beleive), and they have talked to my boyfriend many times, even helped him fix one of the cars when they saw him outside trying to fix it they came right over, as did the guy from the house 2 houses away. The house attatched to our house is 2 very old people, one is on oxygen, so I don't expect to see them really, but I've been shoveling their driveway/sidewalk if it snows, because I don't want anyone to slip and fall on account of them not being able to shovel due to their health conditions. I've only ever seen them from the window. Two weeks ago a young couple, very similar in age to my boyfriend and me moved in to the house that we share the driveway with (two driveways side by side but one big slab of pavement). Anyway, I saw them bringing in a refrigerator, and I poked my head out the door and asked them if they needed help because it looked like they were struggling. They said no thanks, and I haven't heard from them since . I was tempted to bring a bunt cake over to welcome them to the neighborhood, but my boyfriend told me that'd be too creepy. I'm sort of desperate for friends, because I haven't found a job yet, and I moved here from a town about 1.5 hours away. I really want to talk to people but everytime i say it my boyfriend says 'that'd be creepy', and I don't want to creep anyone out . I'm starting to think I'm never going to have friends around this neighborhood..

tricia.

 

[Annie&Hallie'sMom]

I have lived on my block for most of my life (moved here when I was 6, but went away to college and then moved into my grandparents house after they passed away). As a child of the 70s and 80s; pretty much everyone knew each other and was friendly. There were block parties and lots of carpooling to school.

However, over time, things changed. In the past few years, 4 new families have moved in (this is on a dead end of about 12 houses) and the family directly across the street from us (who have lived there since 1988) is having some serious issues. (Cops have been on our block WAY too many times). Next door to us the neighbors don't shovel (which they should be ticketed for) nor do the people at the end of the block (again, there is a town ordinance about clearing walkways by 24 hours after the storm). Neighbors at the far end of the block had new windows put in this past summer and apparently, the old windows are still lying in the back yard (glad I don't have that view!) and there is an old bathtub in their bushes! There's lot of other little things going on...all which make me long for "the good old days".

Oh, and we did have a "new" block party back in OCTOBER of 2001 (little late I think when you live in NJ) which was awful. $30 per couple and all any one did was drink. I have nothing against imbibbing, but 6 hours of steady drinking is not my idea of a "party"

 

[MickeyMouse418]

I live on a dead end with only four houses and have lived there since I was two (I'm almost 16). I'm very friendly with my neighbors who moved in across the street about 4 years ago. I used to take their dog for walks with the wife a lot, and I used to dog and cat-sit when they were on vacation. I developed a friendship with the wife, but are families are very friendly. Now they have two kids and I'm the mother's helper/babysitter. I regard their oldest son, Matthew, as my little brother. I love spending time at their house, so I would say, yes, I know and like my neighbors!

 

[monarchsfan16]

I've lived in the same house my whole life. Neighborly relations were significantly better when I was younger, before parents started divorcing, and neighbors started taking sides. The neighborhood now is a bit awkward. For example, my aunt (dad's sister) lives next door to my mom's house. My dad is only a few houses down the street. Even with the awkwardness, however, I still think I've got decent neighbors. The parents in the neighborhood have always looked out for us kids. If we were at school and our own parents hadn't shown up yet, they'd give us a ride home, no questions asked. I still feel as though my next door neighbors are my second family, even though the parents don't talk to my mom anymore. They're still good friends with my dad. The kids in that house are like my sisters, the mother at least is like my second mom. When I was little the whole street had HUGE parties several times a year. Us kids were given free roam of the back yards and woods separating all the houses. The land we could wander on covered a good 80 acres or so. Things have definitely changed, but my neighborhood is not a bad place to live, and I at least, still like my neighbors.

 

[onecoolmama]

You know I posed this question along with the NE rude thread to a woman that I really like who I knew moved to this area only 3 years ago. I asked her if she thought that we were rude, snobby and unneighborly too. This is what she said.

"I lived in Green Bay. There if you ask someone for directions they would pull out a map and point you in the right direction. Here and other parts of the north east they will give you an unpleasent gesture and move on. "

This struck me as odd..

Why does everyone in Green Bay carry a map?

 

[ckmommy]

onecoolmama,

Moving from WI to TX 2 years ago, I have a feeling I know what she meant. If I were to ask for directions in WI, someone may not pull out a map, but find something to draw a map with. I have only visited the NE, but it seems to me things are much more fast paced there than in the midwest. Green Bay is really just a small midwestern town with of course the GB Packers. When we moved to Houston, I noticed things to be much quicker paced than WI, and people just did not have the time to explain things like they did back in WI. Just a thought....

 

[Pat]

I have only lived in this house for a year. I know my next door neighbors, an elderly couple, and chat with them when I see them. I have talked to the woman across the street once when my next door neighbor had an ambulance in the driveway (sprained ankle). I knew the couple behind me quite well, but they just moved. I am part of an association and am treasurer so I know the board members. I also have a few of the other members come to my door to pay their dues.

I have a nice sized lot next door to me and have never met the people who live on the other side of the lot or up the street. My neighbor across the street has a big double lot so there is nobody living right next door to them. If a neighbor would be outside, I would not even see them unless I would be walking up the hill. It is not that I am not friendly and I am sure the others are friendly, but I think everybody just is too busy to get too close to their neighbors any more. The ones I have met are all very nice.

There is talk of trying to have a block party with all our association members this summer. We have 52 homes in our association. That would be interesting.

 

[onecoolmama]

Originally posted by ckmommy
onecoolmama,

Moving from WI to TX 2 years ago, I have a feeling I know what she meant. If I were to ask for directions in WI, someone may not pull out a map, but find something to draw a map with. I have only visited the NE, but it seems to me things are much more fast paced there than in the midwest. Green Bay is really just a small midwestern town with of course the GB Packers. When we moved to Houston, I noticed things to be much quicker paced than WI, and people just did not have the time to explain things like they did back in WI. Just a thought....

LOL! I was joking. I knew what she meant. I was just tired of hearing about how snobby, rude, and now unneighborly we were..so I thought I would lighten the mood!

 

[arminnie]

I have lived from one end of this country to the other - NY, PA, MI, AR, TX, LA, & CA to name a few. There are HUGE differences between the different regions of the country, but I've found that every region has its share of good people.

If you are used to X and move to Y there is probably going to be an adjustment factor. I don't know that I would label one "friendly" and another not but I do think there is a big difference in dealing with strangers. Some parts of the country are a little slow to warm up but these people can be the BEST friends in the whole world once they do accept you.

Other parts of the country (my birthplace CA for example) some people can be very open at first and tell total strangers the most intimate details of their lives in a first meeting and yet maintain an emotional distance that is never bridged.

That being said about CA, my last home in CA was in a condo and I had some of the BEST friends. It was really great. We had some terrific parties.

The only place that I lived that I actually hated was Pittsburgh 28 years ago. I must add that the people in Pittsburgh were some of the nicest and friendliest people that I had ever come across in my life.

It was a terrible winter with 80 inches of snow. My car got broken into several times so I never had a battery (no hood lock in my old car). There was a coal strike and we had to keep the lights off at the office and the temp was about 60. My antique bed broke and I had to put my mattress on the floor until it thawed out in the spring. I remember being very sick with the flu and waiting for a bus in a blizzard to go to the doctor. Just an awful convergence of things that would probably never happen again but I left as soon as the snow thawed out. I'm just a wuss about bad weather. But the people were great. If I'd stayed I'm sure I would have made a nice life for myself eventually.

 

[letfuller]

We live in a small rural town of about 1500, we know our neighbors and feel good about that, as they will watch our home while we are gone. Also, I feel more comfortable when my DDs are out playing. We also will help out when needed, as most are elderly: shoveling snow, pruning trees you name it we help. I love that my DDs are learning about community and helping those around us.

In regards to geographics, people are neighborly every where. What goes around, comes around.



Linda