Do you have friend like this.....

[ashlynn_j_m]

My DBF and I hang out with another couple that has 4 children, but they do not take their kids anywhere, when we say we're going to Disney they ask why we are bringing our DD. And go on about how parents need alone time from their kids. I figure I'll have plenty of alone time when she doesn't want to do the whole family vacation anymore. We do a lot together at home, but when it comes to going out or away for the day or overnight, they want to be kidless. We would love to take them to disney with us, but they say "they'll go, but NO KIDS!!!" I can understand that people go on vacation without their kids, but everytime? I love taking my DD places just to see her excitment. I feel bad when we get back and DD is talking about all the things she does and the kids ask why my daughter goes to these places and not them. It's not that they don't have the money, that would be one thing, but they take their extra money and pay $1000 to throw a big party, just for the sake of it...of course NO KIDS.....So does anyone else hang out with people, that don't do anything with their kids?

 

[Twingle]

Nope. I don't have any friends like this! I'm surprised that they don't plan family trips, but that's just me. When my DH was growing up, they didn't go on family trips. Of course, his family didn't go ANYWHERE, so that was a little different.

They never do family vacations? Not even local ones? I can understand needing a break from the kids, I have three myself, but to my DH and I, family vacations are just that - for FAMILY. When he and I need a break we'll go overnight somewhere, but never to Disney. It's just not us.

To each their own, but I know it wouldn't be for me.

 

[pigletof4]

We go away for a weekend without the kids, but we would never go to disney without them. I have a friend whose 12 year old has never been away from them ever. They think we are nuts because we will go away overnight or for a weekend without ours or even if the kids spend the night with their grandparents they think we shouldn't do anything without our kids.

 

[debjoisme]

How sad for the kids We took our kids on every vacation that we went on except one, and they were both toddlers. I have a grandson who will be 4 next year, and I can't wait to take him to WDW for his birthday. When I think back on some of my best vacation memories, my two children were usually the cause or the reason that I smile

 

[siestakeys04]

My dh didn't go on trips either. He finally broke down to go to disney since kids are older. These are our kids and our responsibility and i enjoy taking my kids to places so they can live life they deserve it too. Yes parents need some time alone when me and dh take a never before honeymoon on a cruise we will not take the kids but other than that my kids go everywhere on vacation with us they really enjoy our time together i didn't have a second thought of not ever including my kids in my life. Kids are not just trophys you take out when you are ready to see them.

I CANT WAIT TO TAKE MY KIDS TO DISNEY!!!!!!!

 

[DisneyDotty]

My DBF and I hang out with another couple that has 4 children, but they do not take their kids anywhere

This makes me sad on so many levels.

Four kids? Four too many, sounds like.
Don't take their kids anywhere? How will the kids learn to behave outside the home?
They're missing out on so much--heck, I love time away from my kids, but seeing the look on their faces when we're at Disney--magic! And rehashing our past family vacations occasionally--wouldn't trade it for anything.
Glad you're exposing this couple to the possiblity of traveling with children. You're a good role model!

 

[ashlynn_j_m]

I try to tell her how her kids would love disney or even an amusement park close by that they could do a day trip, but she has not interest in bringing them. They don't even have a car to hold all 6 of them so that tells you how much they do together... I don't know if it's the fact that she's a teacher and deals with kids all day and wants alone time, but that is the hardest part of being around them is that they are for themselves and I just don't understand how you can be like that with 4 kids....My DBF's family never did family trips, and he loves taking our DD anywhere. They don't even take them out to dinner with them, they get a sitter....

 

[CharmedLife]

How very sad... They don't even have a car they can all ride in together? Do they ever do anything together? Dinner, Target, church, school functions... Sounds like they're missing some serious 'Ohana time!

DH and I both work so our kids are in daycare or school most of the week. I can't imagine not spending time with them when we have the opportunity. And I could NEVER go to Disney without them. Seeing all of those young kids there having fun would make me miss mine so much...

DH and I have, on occasion, gone away for the weekend and left the kids with my parents. We ALWAYS come home earlier than planned because we miss them so much. Guess we just got lucky and had some great kids who are fun to be around!!

 

[cheergems]

I have three godchildren whom I love to death but their parents hardly ever do vacations with them. They will go to the movies and stuff like that but never anything big. I have tried to expose them to bigger and better things but it just seems like they like being STUCK. Although I am happy with my life my husband and I are always striving for better things, Not material things just better schools, neighborhoods and overall quality of life. We moved from Philly to Georgia just so my kids can experience a better way of life. I am certaninly not rich but we manage to take atleast one big and a couple of little vacations a year. My friend had the nerve to tell me that when the kids come here for a week in the summer her and her husband are going to Vegas. But they still have no plans to go anywhere with their kids. Now that takes the cake

 

[Nancyg56]

How sad for this family. I cannot imagine having 4 children and then avoiding them. To have children, and then not even have a vehicle to travel as a family is strange, to say the least. Mom and Dad may want to remember that children live what they learn, and when they grow up remember how it felt to be left out of special times. Will this couple be alone when the age because Jr and his wife do not like to include them because it may be inconvenient?

 

[ashlynn_j_m]

That is exactly how they are, and on the weekends if the kids aren't gone with the other parent, (2 are her's, 2 are his) so they go to see their other biological parents on weekends, they are at the grandparents or they go out and get a babysitter, I spend the week thinking of things to do w/ my daughter and they spend the week trying to figure out how to get rid of there kids for the weekend. Don't get me wrong my DD goes to my parents for the weekend to visit (they live 3 hours from me). And we do go out alone, but when we are home, and don't have any plans, we like to have her home...

 

[devotedchristian]

Well, I DO have a friend like this. Her son (Age 5) is Autistic and she doesn't take him anywhere. She says it is too stressful for her and I know she has even said she and her DH would turn him over to the State.

I just hug her and let her vent on me. But, I know her friends and family are always after her about taking him places. At the same time, I feel she STILL wouldn't take him anywhere even if he was NOT autistic. She's really not a "kid person"....she's just "in love" with the *thought* of having a child.

DH and I plan to take DS on 99% of our vacations. The only one he will not be privy to is our "anniversary vacations". So that would only be 1 vacation out of the year and I have to TRY not to feel bad about that

 

[daisyduck123]

Yes, there are people who actually don't like to spend a lot of time with their own kids (although for the life of me I can't figure out why they had them in the first place!)

I'm a teacher & earlier this year I was explaining to a father that the next Monday & Tuesday the school would be closed for students due to a teacher inservice. He replied, "Well, Monday is o.k. with me, but Tuesday is my b-day, I've got the day off, & I don't want Michael home with ME".

Oh good grief!

 

[jme829]

We have taken exactly 1 "overnight" vacation by ourseleves since our kids were born and that was this past summer to Put In Bay (a Lake Erie Island resort). It was for one night only and we left the next morning to go pick them up. Any other vacation we take (and we take quite a few) we take the kids. (they do spend the night at grandmas for fun once in a while but not on a regular basis maybe 6-7 times a year) .

When it was just our oldest, my DH had won a trip for 2 to WDW (our first trip there) and we paid extra to be able to take her. I personally do not like the thought of going on vacation anywhere without my kids and I am a homeschooling SAHM whose DH travels on business (he's gone 4-5 days every week) so I am with all three of them basically 24/7 (give or take a few hours per week for activities/sports ). I know some people need the break and I am not condemning anyone for that but to not do anything at all with your kids is just sad.

We (ok I) am starting to plan our 25th (in 10 yrs) and by then my oldest will be 23 so I figure this....the younger kids can stay with her at All Stars (they will be 15 and 17 by then)..then me and DH will stay at Polynesian and we will meet up at the parks. That way we can vacation together while still having some of our time...DH is not sure about this one...LOL

My sis and her DH only took 2 family vactions and pretty much nothing else with the kids in the 15 yrs they were married...my niece and neph took most of their vacations with my parents. Well 2 years ago, BIL was killed in a car accident and now those kids have almost no memories of doing anything as a family and now they never will. It makes me sad for them, angry at my sis .

We do soooo much with our kids...and as much as my parents struggled financially growing up, we still did a lot...We don't always do things exciting like WDW, but we are always doing something-park, zoo, nature center, something.

 

[stahshee]

well I have 4 kids and I know that they need a break with out the kids. No offence but you have 1 and that CAKE! have you ever watched Bill Cosby he talks about how you really do not know what it is like to have children arguing ALL The TIME. I am all about having a break because it is hard with more than one child. However I would not go on a vaction with out my kids we are a family!!!

 

[ashlynn_j_m]

I'm not saying they don't need a break, but they both work, the kids are in bed by 7 and by 5 on Friday they are gone until about 6 Sunday night...they get plenty of break time....I just don't believe you need that much of a break, they are a family of 6 but yet do things only as a couple....

 

[Tinker*Shell*Bell]

I have 4 kids, and I would love just ONE vacation without the tribe. I love to take them places but hubby and I have not gone anywhere alone for 6 years. 6 YEARS!!!

I agree that the couple in the original post does not sound like they need a break, or atleast if they are going to take breaks maybe they should have something to take a break from. If you spend no time as a family how can you need a break from the family? Sounds selfish to me.

 

[Tinkerbellmom33]

That's pretty selfish of them! I can see a vacation here and there without the kids but always?
Never Disney without them. How sad. They're missing so many good memories with their kids. They don't even realize it. An older man I used to work with would always tell me "enjoy your kids" when he heard
the harmless stressed mom gripe about the kids fighting etc. His are grown. He said he never spent too much time with the kids , worked a lot, couldn't wait for them to grow up. His wife did all for the kids. Now he's sorry he missed it all. I felt bad for him, but he said not too, he spends as much time as he can with his grandchildren and he's hoping his son and daughter have more.
I do think we all need a little time away now and then. Makes for a happier Mom. We've been tossing the idea around, it's been a while, 4 years?
We're due! But we do a lot with kids, dinner, movies, family days on the weekend, movie nights. Wow... we haven't had any alone time in years!!!
Too bad they can't find a balance between the two.

 

[cheergems]

I do understand that not all people are "kid" friendly but if you decide to have these children love, food and your time together should be a priority. I have 3 children (13,9,5) so I understand the need for a break once in a while. And don't get me wrong spending time does not have to equate to spending money. I have Crohns disease and was almost bedridden for 1 year and during that time my kids would climb in the bed with me and just hang out. We created some fun memories without ever leaving the house. And I also realize that some people never took vacations when the were children themselves so now the pattern just continues. All we can do as friends is give advise when asked and listen when asked also. I am sure there is something about my parenting style that others don't approve of. But it makes me feel real good to find like-minded people The way my husband and I planned it by the time we are 45 and 40 the oldest will be old enough so that we can start to travel minus the kids. Until then Disney here comes the Philly 5

 

[DaisyD]

Nope. No friends like that! We have found a happy medium at our house. We take family vacations with all the kids, vacations with just DH and myself, vacations apart from DH, and vacations without DH but with a kid or two. We have covered all the bases! LOL~