Do you have a...

[Zandy595]

Funny Outgoing Answering Machine Message?

We just got a new machine and I want to put a clever message on it. Please post your funny, clever, or interesting outgoing message to inspire me.

 

[AprilShowers]

We had a friend who did a pretty cute Elvis impersonation on theirs.
He used lines from his songs. It was clever. He said things like We're not home right now, Jane's out looking for my Blue Suede shoes but Don't be cruel, Leave a message. Thank you, thank you very much.

Not obnoxious, but cute!

 

[GoofyBaseballMom26]

No but my sister in law always puts a really long stupid message on hers. By the time it is over, you've forgotten why the heck you ever called. It is really, really annoying.

 

[bgirldeb]

I used to have the elvis one from the below site on my machine until I was in the market for a new job and was getting phone calls from potential employers. Then, it was time for a more professional greeting :-0:

http://www.ilovewavs.com/comedy/AnsMach/AnsMach.htm

 

[newman7501]

My maiden name was Adams. We had friends visit us from out of town one weekend and my dad and his friend, well I think they put back a few too many , if you know what I mean and the next thing I know there were about 8 of us singing the theme to the Addams' Family show and my dad started talking like Lurch. It turned out quite funny and eventually my parents had to change the message because there were so many hangups on the machine. It appeared word got out and people were calling just to hear the message.

 

[Monte Cristo]

Believe it or not, George isn't at home.
Please leave a message at the beep.
I must be out, or I'd pick up the phone.
Where could I be?
Believe it or not, I'm not home!

 

[lovetoscrap]

Just please don't let your totally adorable but not understandable young child do it. I know they are cute, but it can be so annoying if you aren't even sure if you called the correct number.

 

[smilie]

Before we got married Dh's used to be:


"Hello (long pause)... Hello (longer pause)... I'm not here right now so leave me a message."

I always started talking to him like he had answered the phone. He eventually had to change it because he would get messages from people that were partial conversations or stories.

 

[Surrender_Dorothy]

Ours has a built-in outgoing that you can use. There is a way to set it up so you can have it in English, French or Spanish. I had it in French for a long time, which really confused people as we are not French and/or Canadian.

*edit--I forgot to add..growing up I had a Speak N Spell and I used to it to record the folllowing on my mom's answermachine:

Hello, this is the refridgerator.
The answeringmachine is having an affair with the microwave.
So I will take your message and stick it to myself.

 

[ktulu]

"Hi, you've reached the <name> residence. We can't come to the phone right now, so please leave a message after the *beep*"

 

[dizneenut]

When we had a landline (we use our cell phones now) we had this as our outgoing message:

Ron Burgundy. Stay classy, San Diego. Hello, Baxter? Baxter, is that you? Bark twice if you're in Milwaukee. Is this Wilt Chamberlain? Have the decency to say something!

Its from the movie Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy. DH recorded a sound clip of it to the answering machine. People would be laughing as they left a message after hearing it.

 

[Just Jan]

My DBF only uses a cell phone, but he has to have a landline for faxes...work purposes. So anyone who knows him know to call the cell phone as he NEVER answers the landline.
Therefore we let the dog bark and bark into the answeing machine. It cracks us up! I'm sure it is very annoying to those pesky telemarketers.

 

[Cool-Beans]

Just please don't let your totally adorable but not understandable young child do it. I know they are cute, but it can be so annoying...

ITA!!!!

This can't be said enough.

 

[Tazicket]

We have to record a new one (we moved and the outgoing message was erased). It used to something like:

DH: Hi! You've reached <Golf4food>
Me: And <Tazicket!>
DH: We can't come to the phone right now b/c we're probably feeding our cow..I mean, cat, Cricket
Me: :slapping noise: Stop that!
DH: What? She's a big cat!
Me: :slapping noise: Stop making fun of her!
DH: Ow! Anyway, for <Golf4food> press 1,
Me: For <Tazicket> press 2, and for Cricket, press 3
DH: And if she stops eating :slapping noise: Ow! Stop that! Leave us a message and we'll get back to you as soon as possible

 

[ozarkmom]

No and actually they kind of annoy me!

 

[coles1mom]

You have the right to remain silent if you give up this right everything you say will be recorded. Thanks

Judi

 

[CapeCodTenor]

I had one once, quite a while back now, where the message was normal...it was what was underneath it that was funny. It went like this, "Hello, you've reached CCT and I'm a little, (insert toilet flushing), busy right now. So leave your name, number and a message after the beep and I'll get back to you as soon as possible, (sound of water emptying out of the toilet)." I timed it perfectly I thought it was funny.

ETA: I wanted to say that I didn't do this while I was going, I just took my machine into the bathroom and did the message there.

 

[Zandy595]

No and actually they kind of annoy me!

That's the goal.

 

[java]

I shared an apartment with a friend. One night after a few drinks her brother changed our outgoing message.
"J&V can't get to the phone right now....." evil laugh..."they are tied up"... more evil laugh... "they'll call you back .if they survive" Chainsaw!!!
Creepy yet funny because he had a southern accent and it just didn't sound so evil with a drawl.

 

[CookieGVB]

We were goofing around and recorded, "Help! Help us....by leaving a message." Of course, when I called for my son and I wasn't paying attention, it scared me to death.

It's that 12-year-old mentality - I haven't heard my mother yelling at me yet, though.