Do you have a teen who is afraid to stay alone?

[luvflorida]

This is the first time we've come across this situation. Our youngest daughter is 15. We have a DD21 and a DS25. Until last August, they were all living at home, so when husband and I had to go out for some reason, there was never any problem. Older son and/or daughter would be there with younger daughter. There weren't a lot of times actually that husband and I went out at the same time either, so usually I would also be home or husband would be there. Older son and daughter are now living in Arizona for work and/or school.

Husband and I have to go out tomorrow night for a dinner with some of husband's clients. We'll only be gone for about three hours, and not late. Daughter does not like to stay home alone and I'm okay with that. We've never left her by herself mainly because we've never really been comfortable with it and she isn't comfortable with it. However, in this instance, we asked if she'd like to stay by herself. She hesitated and said she doesn't want to stay home alone. I'm fine with this, I know she has always had issues with the dark, being easily scared, etc. She can't stay with any of her friends because they already have plans for tomorrow night, so daughter is going to stay with her grandmother for a few hours.

My question is this. Does your teen mind staying home alone? I'm talking for only a few hours, but after dark. I know there are a lot of kids who would probably love the chance to stay by themselves, but do you have a teen who DOESN'T want to stay home alone? I know when I was around that age, I loved to spend time by myself, watching movies, reading books, etc. and I didn't mind if there wasn't anyone else at home.

Again, I'm okay with this, but I'm wondering if it's unusual.

 

[Christine]

I don't think so. My DD is 14. She has stayed home alone plenty during the day, but so far, there has not been an occasion where we've gone out later in the evening and have left her. Honestly, I think she would be afraid too.

 

[monarchsfan16]

Not a parent of a teen, but a teen myself. I'm 19
I'm not a big fan of being home alone. Until I was about 16 I pretty much flat out refused to be home alone at night. Like your daughter, I've always had issues with the dark. Whenever I'm home alone (any time of the day) every noise creeps me out (the heater making noise, snow falling off the roof, cars driving by, etc). It used to be (right up through last year) that when I was home, sick, I wouldn't get any rest at all, because I'd be awake the whole time. I had to be alert. Night time is the worst though, because you can't see what's going on outside, but anyone could potentially see into the house (ok, so I have an overactive imagination...maybe). Even when my sister is home with me, but my mom is out of the house, I still am sort of uncomfortable with it.

 

[N.Bailey]

I'm the paranoid mom who really never leaves them home alone. The 1 and only time I did it for any length of time was a few days before Christmas this past year. They got home at 3:00, we called (a couple times actually LOL), and then we got home at around 5:00 I'd guess. Other than running to return library books or movies where we're gone for maybe 10 minutes at most, this has been longest they've been alone. My 14 year old daughter BEGS my hubby and I to go out to dinner so she can be alone (though not technically, her brother would still be here). My 15 year old son however has absolutely no desire to be alone.

 

[minkydog]

Not my kids, but my DS19's best friend was that way. He was the youngest of 5, with much older sibilngs, so his parents were in there "almost done" mode. Meaning they left him alone a lot. So Aaron spent a lot of time at my house after school and in the summers so he could avoid staying at home alone. He just finished enlisted Basic Training with the AF so i guess now he has plenty of company.

 

[ColoradoBuffaloMom]

My 16 DD doesn't like to be home alone either. My DH and I don't go out that often but I know my DD gets scared being home alone so I try not to push it. She keeps the dog with her whereever she goes, even closing his doggy door so he can't go outside.

My 14 DS is sometimes home with my daughter but he has a more active social life so he is gone a lot. I try to encourage him to bring his friends over here so my DD won't be alone so sometimes that works. He has a great group of friends so I don't mind them being here without us for a few hours.

So glad I'm not the only one in this situation

 

[NMAmy]

I have a 15 yo dd and she doesn't mind staying home alone for a few hours--even at night. She babysits a lot which she looks upon as being pretty much the same thing if the kids are asleep. At home, she has the dog to keep her company.

I think this happens more with kids who are the youngest in the family. It never bothered me to stay home by myself but my younger sister would flat out refuse after I moved out. I think it's because they have the older kids around most of the time so they're just not used to it and it makes them nervous.

 

[Steffi]

I hated to be home alone at night when I was a teen. I'm the youngest of 5 kids, so when I was growing up, I don't remember any alone time, not until all my brothers and sisters moved away.

When I was 16, my parents went away for a night. I had imagined that I would be fine and had envisioned a wild and carefree, parentless night for myself. Long story short, I ended up staying at my older sister's house that night because of all the scary things I heard after the sun went down. So much for my night of freedom.

 

[lovinwdw]

I was probably this way until I was about 26 (when DH & I moved in together). One night he had to work all night and I actually had one of my girlfriends stay over with me because I was so scared!! Now, I am 30 and I am fine with being alone. I kind of enjoy being by myself now. But, when I was a teenager, I was so scared of the dark I would have to have a light on in every room if I was home by myself. And...forget about going to sleep if no one was there!! Not to mention, we had a yellow lab (Straw) who used to bark into our living room at absolutely nothing. She only did this when I was home alone. It used to scare the #*@# out of me!!! I know how your daughter feels.

 

[CathrynRose]

My question is this. Does your teen mind staying home alone? I'm talking for only a few hours, but after dark. I know there are a lot of kids who would probably love the chance to stay by themselves, but do you have a teen who DOESN'T want to stay home alone? I know when I was around that age, I loved to spend time by myself, watching movies, reading books, etc. and I didn't mind if there wasn't anyone else at home.

Again, I'm okay with this, but I'm wondering if it's unusual.

I dont know if it's unusual - in the main stream - although I could leave my 14 year old home for weeks on end, and he'd be fine.

 

[Mercy]

When I was a teen, I never really liked being home alone. When my DH and I go out in the evening, I really don't think my DS15 likes to be home alone. He never says anything, but when we get home, EVERY LIGHT IN THE HOUSE IS ON!!!

 

[malibuconlee]

It never really bothered me. I was left at home evenings a lot watching my younger sister while my parents worked.

When I was your daughter's age my mom was going thru a divorce and actually worked nights so it was just me and my younger sister at home all night. My sister went to bed before mom left for work and I went shortly after. I'm trying to remember how long that was for. It was a few weeks or so until my mom found a new job.

It didn't really bother me, except that I couldn't watch scary movies. I'm still not a big fan of them.

Also, I spent about 4 nights home alone when I had just turned 17. I had friends spend the night with me so I wasn't alone. Plus it was just more fun that way.

 

[SC Minnie]

I am not a teen but I'm not too crazy about being home all alone at night either.

 

[luvflorida]

I think this happens more with kids who are the youngest in the family. It never bothered me to stay home by myself but my younger sister would flat out refuse after I moved out. I think it's because they have the older kids around most of the time so they're just not used to it and it makes them nervous.

This is probably true. Youngest daughter has ALWAYS had people around, but now she's the only child left at home.

 

[luvflorida]

I'm the paranoid mom who really never leaves them home alone.

Me too! And I was thinking that maybe my anxiety about never leaving her alone might be the cause of her not wanting to be by herself. Just seems like most of the teens around here do spend some time alone at night, and I never really thought about it with daughter because the situation never presented itself.

 

[Ziva]

Have you thought about maybe having her take a few self defense classes or Karate? You can check your local Y for some classes especially for women, maybe you could take them together?

I grew up in very large family and when I moved out on my own I was very uneasy being alone, that's when I started taking Karate. It was amazing the feeling of security you gain knowing that you can defend yourself if need be.

 

[Am_I_There_Yet]

I have a daughter who turns on every single light in the house while we're gone. When we leave, the house looks normal; when we return, airplanes could land on our street!

Ironically, DH and I are taking a cruise in October, and she told me that she wants to stay here alone throughout the whole week. Sh'yeah, right.

 

[Jilliansmom2002]

Not a parent of a teen, but a teen myself. I'm 19
I'm not a big fan of being home alone. Until I was about 16 I pretty much flat out refused to be home alone at night. Like your daughter, I've always had issues with the dark. Whenever I'm home alone (any time of the day) every noise creeps me out (the heater making noise, snow falling off the roof, cars driving by, etc). It used to be (right up through last year) that when I was home, sick, I wouldn't get any rest at all, because I'd be awake the whole time. I had to be alert. Night time is the worst though, because you can't see what's going on outside, but anyone could potentially see into the house (ok, so I have an overactive imagination...maybe). Even when my sister is home with me, but my mom is out of the house, I still am sort of uncomfortable with it.

Hello~
My soon to be 15 year old daughter has a fear of being home alone, day or night. She will not stay home alone at night at all. It's tough because I'm a single mom & it's difficult to work or do anything when I have to rush home so she's not alone.
I'm just wondering if it has improved with you over time?
Wishing you all the best
Paula

 

[mom2rtk]

My teen daughter relishes the time she can get alone. It's definitely a rarity around our house!

Can she have a friend over to do something that evening?

 

[North of Mouse]

Nope, my teens all seemed to be fine with the idea. It was me (and still am) that never wanted to be alone as a teen (even during the day)! I came from a family with several siblings and we lived on a farm. I hated the few times I was alone then - still do hate, really hate, needing to be alone at night!!

I hear popping and creakings that never seem to happen when dh is here, and my imagination runs wild!!