Do you have a problem with your child being average?

[EpcotBeauty]

Just a few questions though. What if they are trying their hardest and going to all the tutoring and buckling down and they just don't excel to your standards? Would that be okay with you that they are trying their best but maybe aren't cut out for academia as strongly as you would like to be? Not everyone can be an A student. No matter how hard they try.

Thankfully, that has never been an issue. I would get through it and work with my child and their tutors to have the best outcome possible.

 

[gladstoneganderfan]

Wow, I didn't know anyone on the Disboards had average children.

 

[DisneyBamaFan]

I went for a walk (morning exercise) with my wife and one of her friends a few years ago. My wife's friend is a professional, as is her husband. They have 2 daughters. We had a conversation about her daughters. Here is how it went:

N(eighbor): My daughter didn't make the honor roll this semester. I really need to get her to buckle down.
Me: How were her grades?
N: They were good, but not good enough.
Me: Is she doing her best?
N: If she were, she would be on the honor roll.
Me: That sounds pretty harsh. Is she trying? Working hard?
N: Yes, but if she wants to be a (she listed her profession), she needs to work harder.
Me: What if she doesn't want to be a xxx.
N: Why wouldn't she?
Me: Maybe she will want to do something else with her life. Who knows, she might even want to stay home and raise her children when they come.
N: No - that's not going to happen. She will go to college and become a professional.
Me: I agree that you should push her to go to college, but what if she has other plans for her life after college? What if she doesn't want for herself what you want for her?
N: As long as she bcomes a professional, I am fine.
Me: But if she chose to stay at home and take care of her family...
N: Never. I will not let that happen.
Me: Even if that is what will make her happiest in life?
N: I don't know. I'll have to think about that. She needs to be a professional.

Sad, sad story, but all too true. She puts more pressure on her daughters than I imagined any parent would. She equates happiness with professional success, so her girls will have a hard time "making the grade" with her if they choose another life...

 

[Mouse House Mama]

Thankfully, that has never been an issue. I would get through it and work with my child and their tutors to have the best outcome possible.

What if that outcome meant that they were a B student?

 

[torinsmom]

Wow, I didn't know anyone on the Disboards had average children.

Well, mine is average, at least in academics, LOL

It is funny--In the early years, his overall standardized tests scores were very average, and his teachers told me it was okay to be average. I had to push and push to get him tested, because even though his overall scores were average, in some areas, he would score in the bottom 10% and in others he would be in the top 5%. It was very odd and after looking at his tests for the last three years, they tested him. His IQ tests were the same, some scores very high and some very low. I'm glad we got him tested, because things have evened out. He is still average overall, but he is better at the things he was weak in. That has helped a lot in the later grades.

I am fine with DS being average. He is a happy kid and has lots of friends. He is kind and outgoing and I think he will be very successful in life!

Marsha

 

[SandraVB79]

We don't accept mediocrity in this house. We raise the bar and expect our kids to meet it.

If our children are struggling, we buckle down and go to after school tutoring if necessary.

I hope your kids will be able to reach that bar, otherwise, I feel sorry for them.

 

[EpcotBeauty]

What if that outcome meant that they were a B student?

As I said, that is not an issue yet. We will cross that bridge when we get there, however; I very much doubt it will be an issue.

 

[Mouse House Mama]

As I said, that is not an issue yet. We will cross that bridge when we get there, however; I very much doubt it will be an issue.

Never say never and all that stuff......

ETA- What grade are your kids in?

 

[EpcotBeauty]

Never say never and all that stuff......

ETA- What grade are your kids in?

I have a teenger, an elementary schooler and a toddler.

 

[Buckalew11]

I expect her best but I am fine with average. She, however, is not. She is very driven and pushes herself too hard. I still am learning to deal with all that--before one of us goes crazy. She is doing better though--allowing herself to enjoy life more, I think.

 

[Buckalew11]

I went for a walk (morning exercise) with my wife and one of her friends a few years ago. My wife's friend is a professional, as is her husband. They have 2 daughters. We had a conversation about her daughters. Here is how it went:

N(eighbor): My daughter didn't make the honor roll this semester. I really need to get her to buckle down.
Me: How were her grades?
N: They were good, but not good enough.
Me: Is she doing her best?
N: If she were, she would be on the honor roll.
Me: That sounds pretty harsh. Is she trying? Working hard?
N: Yes, but if she wants to be a (she listed her profession), she needs to work harder.
Me: What if she doesn't want to be a xxx.
N: Why wouldn't she?
Me: Maybe she will want to do something else with her life. Who knows, she might even want to stay home and raise her children when they come.
N: No - that's not going to happen. She will go to college and become a professional.
Me: I agree that you should push her to go to college, but what if she has other plans for her life after college? What if she doesn't want for herself what you want for her?
N: As long as she bcomes a professional, I am fine.
Me: But if she chose to stay at home and take care of her family...
N: Never. I will not let that happen.
Me: Even if that is what will make her happiest in life?
N: I don't know. I'll have to think about that. She needs to be a professional.

Sad, sad story, but all too true. She puts more pressure on her daughters than I imagined any parent would. She equates happiness with professional success, so her girls will have a hard time "making the grade" with her if they choose another life...

Wow, that is s ad. It is one thing to be a bum and not work or apply yourself. It is another to want to stay home with your kids and be a homemaker. Such a shame!
I'm all for my DD going to college and being able to provide for herself but if she wanted to stay home with her family when the time arises, I think that'd be super!!

 

[AristocatFan]

I'm fine with average as long as they've done their best. We've never pushed our kids to excel but they all have. My boys compete against each other. First it was for the highest GPA. But they're both 4.0, so now they compete for the highest percentage. Even though they have 100% in class they will do all the bonus work to get 110%. I guess it's just being brothers. They're both happy well adjusted good kids.

Fortunately, DD is a lot younger but I worry about the expectations set upon her from the boys' former teachers.

 

[VickiVM]

This reminds me of a woman that was profiled on The Today Show I believe who had a college degree (I believe), but got married after college and stayed home until 20 or so years later when her husband left her. She had absolutely no working skills and could not get a job that would pay her what she needed to survive. I think she even had written a book and the gist of her message to women was to be sure to build your own financial cusion in case your happily ever after goes awry.

So even if your choice is to stay home and raise children, take care of yourself financially.

 

[ms.yt]

As I said, that is not an issue yet. We will cross that bridge when we get there, however; I very much doubt it will be an issue.

You "very much doubt it will be an issue"??? Your youngest is a toddler, but you "very much doubt" that the kid will ever make a B???? That's really, really bizarre. I was gifted academically) and so was my husband. Neither of us really had to try that hard to get good grades throughout high school and college. However, we have a two year old, and we don't presume to think that he will be the same way. I hope for your kids' sake they don't diappoint you.

 

[AristocatFan]

So even if your choice is to stay home and raise children, take care of yourself financially.

And this is where I am screwed. If anything were to happen to DH, I cannot support my family on my income. Guess I better up his life insurance!

 

[Bluestars]

You "very much doubt it will be an issue"??? Your youngest is a toddler, but you "very much doubt" that the kid will ever make a B???? That's really, really bizarre. I was gifted academically) and so was my husband. Neither of us really had to try that hard to get good grades throughout high school and college. However, we have a two year old, and we don't presume to think that he will be the same way. I hope for your kids' sake they don't diappoint you.

I was thinking the same thing. Hopefully her kids will live up to her high expectations. I don't see anything wrong with encouraging kids to live up to their potential. But sometimes their potential isn't to be a straight A student.

My parents pushed us academically. Growing up, I always heard a C is unacceptable because none of you are average. Well, guess what? My older brother was average. Oh, the horror. My mom had to sign him up for correspondence courses just so he could graduate on time. I think they learned something from that experience.

 

[DisneyBamaFan]

And this is where I am screwed. If anything were to happen to DH, I cannot support my family on my income. Guess I better up his life insurance!

Yeah, when my wife gave up her career, I increased my life insurance with this in mind. Since I would never leave my wife, she need not worry about the other scenario...

 

[CathrynRose]

I want my children to enjoy their childhood. There isnt many times in your life that you dont have to 'stress' about the obligations of life. (another reason I dont care how long my boys hair gets. When else can a guy have long hair?)

As long as my kids are turning in their work, and doing what theyre supposed to be doing - then so be it.

I want my kids to play sports, see their friends, play a few video games, and even kick back and watch TV. I want them to enjoy their childhood. And if I'm constantly pressuring them to be a straight A student, odds are theyre going to be stressed way too much to just enjoy 'life'.

My older son has a friend who is a straight A student. Honor Roll. All that stuff. We barely see him. When he's not studying, he's being pushed to the limits with all sorts of enrichment stuff. I feel bad for him.

 

[disney1990]

My son just brought home his second report card of his high school career and his grades were 83(Honors English), 83(French), 96(PE/Health), and 96(Academic Strategies). The last two were basically a given. As long as you follow directions, you will do well in PE and Academic Strategies is a study hall for students with IEPs. His GPA is 3.44 right now.

Anyway, I am trying to be fine with high C's, because I know my DS is doing his best. His report card had comments like "hard worker!" and "excellent student" typed in, which makes me feel good. On the other hand, some people in my life punish their children if they get C's, or even low B's. DS is just a different kind of kid; he is very smart, but it seems to be in a way that doesn't show on academic work. I encourage him, and he does study and do his homework every night.

So, if you have an average child, are you okay with that, or do you push them to do better?

Marsha

3.44 is a high C?

 

[hildasmuriel]

Things are sooooo different over here. Anything over 70% is normally an A grade and cause for celebration. C grade can be given for about 40%.