Do you have a problem with your child being average?

[barkley]

No problem at all. The world needs all kinds of people and grades do not determine the person.


Do you know if your doctor graduated 1st or last in his class? Does it matter?

so long as it was'nt from itt technical institute or apollo college i'm good with it

 

[torinsmom]

Since when is 83 a C? In our system at least, a C is 70-79. Honestly, your son's grades sound pretty darn good to me! A 3.44 GPA? I'd have no problem with that at all!

My take on it is this: when I am performing at the very best of my abilities and acheiving my highest potential, I'll expect the same from my kids. Until then, they get to be human too...

I have been told our grading system is 93-100 A, 85-92 B, 77-84 C, 70-77 D, below 70 F. I don't know this for sure, because all he gets is number grades on his report card. I know in college, we had 10 point grading system.

I didn't have to study at all in school and got straight A's. I believe we only had AP classes and not honors. I didn't do great when I went to college, at least not at first.

Marsha

 

[Mouse House Mama]

Whatever my children end up being I am proud of them and fine as long as they tried their best.

 

[mjkacmom]

Since when is 83 a C? In our system at least, a C is 70-79. Honestly, your son's grades sound pretty darn good to me! A 3.44 GPA? I'd have no problem with that at all!

My take on it is this: when I am performing at the very best of my abilities and acheiving my highest potential, I'll expect the same from my kids. Until then, they get to be human too...

It's a C in our district - a B is 86 - 93, an A 94 - 100. So far, 4 of my 5 aren't average, and I wouldn't accept C's, knowing this. Ds10 got 3 B's on his report card, and even his teacher said that there was no reason (he got them because of missed homework assignments - his tests were all A's). Dd6, however, has yet to demonstrate that she's above average in school - her twin brother actually taught her all of her sightwords.

I did well in school, lots of my family members went to Ivy League universities (my dad got his BS at Princeton, MBA at Columbia), not one person in my family doesn't have at least a college degree, my DH is really bright, did well in school, MBA from NYU. I think intelligence is genetic, and our children have a good chance at doing well academically, but if one of my children struggles a bit with school, all I ask is that he or she do their best.

 

[ameraumi]

DS knows I want him to aim for nothing less than an 80% in his classes but I know he has trouble with math. He has been tested with severe test anxiety, ADHD, and a little over half a year behind in math (which was not enough to get him extra help as a LD).

So yes, average is just fine with me. I am not going to put undo stress on my kids to get straight A's. I do not want them to hate school, I want them to enjoy it and try their best.

 

[luvmy3]

I just expect my kids to do the best they can do, if that means average then that is fine.

I also don't think the grades they get in school, even H.S determines how successful they will be in life. My dh was on the brink of failing, and not graduating with his class. He managed to squeak by. He ended up with his PhD and is very respected in his field.

 

[kellyg403]

I am ok with kids receiving average grades as long as they are doing their personal best. There are people in the world who do not learn well in a classroom environment but hand them a wrench and they can take a car apart and put it back together. I know I can't do that! I have a child who really bombs at tests which totally brings down those classroom grades. But ask her to write a story or do an essay or paper and it is phenominal the work and writing style she has. I know I struggled with that.

So, really being 'average' in some things doesn't mean you are average in everything. People are just born with different talents. What works for one may not work for another. We all have our hidden strengths, its finding them and recognizing them that might be the hard part!

Kelly

 

[LisaNJ25]

I sure am. I dont need an honor roll bumper sticker to be proud of my kids.

 

[torinsmom]

The college my DS wants to go to is very hard to get into(UNC-Chapel Hill) Even if he is put into general courses, I don't think he can do what it takes to get in there as a freshman. I barely got in with straight As, and the bar has been raised much higher. Our high school has a program where Juniors and Seniors can take college level classes at the community college at the same time they are taking high school classes. Right now, plan B is doing CC for general courses and then transferring as a junior to UNC. It's much easier to get in as a junior.

DS is in no way unintelligent. Due to his learning disabilities, he has been tested several times. Last year, his IQ tested as 121, even WITH qualifying for disabilities in three areas. He has ADD, dysgraphia and a math computation disability. He is amazingly bright in some areas that aren't really important in everyday academia, like knowing how two things are alike, block patterns, etc. One of his great strengths is giving oral reports. Unfortunately, most reports have to be written and with a writing disability, he doesn't do as well with that. Math is another of his problem areas; he can get the answer to the problem, but not show how he got it. That is not popular with his math teachers.

I believe DS will pick a career where his strengths are amplified and his weaknesses are not an issue, and be amazing at whatever he chooses to pursue. I just have to remind myself when he brings home C's that he is doing his best. He has always been an average student, and may always be an average student. To other people in that family, he is not excelling, but from what I have seen, he is happier than the other kids who are pushed to be the best in school, sports, scouts, etc.

Marsha

 

[Tigger2252]

If they do their best work and and get an average grade I'm content. I expect them to be above average when it comes to their character. My oldest DD was a solid student. My youngest has ADHD and some learning difficulties that make school very hard for her. She gets extra help in school and we have a tutor come to our house. She has never been able to pass an exam, and I worry constantly about how she will be able to graduate from high school if she can't pass the Regents Exams. But, she tries her best and is a delightful, happy girl who always has a smile on her face. All of her teachers comment on how hard she tries and what a lovely young lady she is. So, while she may not pass Algebra, she gets an A+ in compassion, empathy, and humanity. I'm good with that.

 

[MerMom60_94]

Since when is 83 a C? In our system at least, a C is 70-79. Honestly, your son's grades sound pretty darn good to me! A 3.44 GPA? I'd have no problem with that at all!

My take on it is this: when I am performing at the very best of my abilities and acheiving my highest potential, I'll expect the same from my kids. Until then, they get to be human too...

Well put!! I expect DD to put in her best effort and ask for help when it is needed. If she gets a grade that isn't great we discuss why and what she might want to do to bring that grade up. Learning to set her own priorities and succeed because of her own actions and motivations is more important to me than us being motivated and pushing her all the time. We discuss what she wants to do with her life and what she has to do to get there and then we support her in that effort. In the end though, it's her life and she needs to find the balance that makes her both successful and happy.

To those who push so hard on the academics, I do want to say my observations in the workplace are that social skills are just as important (sometimes more important) in getting ahead than academics. You have to allow for a balance of both.

 

[barkley]

The college my DS wants to go to is very hard to get into(UNC-Chapel Hill) Even if he is put into general courses, I don't think he can do what it takes to get in there as a freshman. I barely got in with straight As, and the bar has been raised much higher. Our high school has a program where Juniors and Seniors can take college level classes at the community college at the same time they are taking high school classes. Right now, plan B is doing CC for general courses and then transferring as a junior to UNC. It's much easier to get in as a junior.

DS is in no way unintelligent. Due to his learning disabilities, he has been tested several times. Last year, his IQ tested as 121, even WITH qualifying for disabilities in three areas. He has ADD, dysgraphia and a math computation disability. He is amazingly bright in some areas that aren't really important in everyday academia, like knowing how two things are alike, block patterns, etc. One of his great strengths is giving oral reports. Unfortunately, most reports have to be written and with a writing disability, he doesn't do as well with that. Math is another of his problem areas; he can get the answer to the problem, but not show how he got it. That is not popular with his math teachers.

I believe DS will pick a career where his strengths are amplified and his weaknesses are not an issue, and be amazing at whatever he chooses to pursue. I just have to remind myself when he brings home C's that he is doing his best. He has always been an average student, and may always be an average student. To other people in that family, he is not excelling, but from what I have seen, he is happier than the other kids who are pushed to be the best in school, sports, scouts, etc.

Marsha

sounds like our sons have similar issues (and mine is on the same page with the math and the oral abilities-if he could oraly demonstrate his knowledge in all the subjects it would be a breeze for him).

we're looking at the same kind of program for ds (as well as dd) only our state allows the course work at any publicly funded college or university (so not limited to the community colleges). both want to do the program where they take strictly college level coursework in their jr/sr years (except for the electives they enjoy with their friends ) so it will count for both the highschool requirements and count for their college lower division general ed.

i'de love to hear how your son enjoys it-i'm hoping for my ds the difference in structure between traditional highschool courses vs. college level will make the experience more enjoyable and less taxing (my kid's hand gets so tired and he gets so frustrated having to write out the stuff that just can't be done on a computer-takes him 10 times as long as anyone else despite already knowing the answer ).

 

[Cindy B]

Since when is 83 a C? In our system at least, a C is 70-79. Honestly, your son's grades sound pretty darn good to me! A 3.44 GPA? I'd have no problem with that at all!

My take on it is this: when I am performing at the very best of my abilities and acheiving my highest potential, I'll expect the same from my kids. Until then, they get to be human too...

Using some other schools grading systems 83 is a C. My school I did my student teaching was like that. For example, it was 94-100 A, 93-86 B, 85-79 C, 78-71 D, and anything under a 70 was a F.

My grade school had a similiar grading system.

 

[Tiffer]

If I didn't accept average in my house, I would be one miserable mom. Both of my kids are very bright. DD tests much higher than DS. She scored a 96% in the CA state tests. He took his when we lived in NY (the first time) and scored "high average".

Both of my children are academically lazy. I try and do all the structuring and constant contact with the teachers (he is in HS, DD in middle), but it is more challenging to get one on one attention at the HS level. I love our school disctrict though.

My DD makes honor roll, but not high honor roll. I am lucky though because they excel in sports. DD is a serious year-round softball player and my son is a serious year-round football player. They both have a great core group of friends.

I wish my DS's grades could come up a bit, because I know he is capable of more. Over all I am happy they are well-rounded. I would rather have my current situation than an A+ child who is socially awkward and not involved in any non-academic extra cirriculars or vice versa, the party child who is flunking and not capable of anything but.

I am hoping the sports will help them get into a good college, but if either have to do JuCo for 2 years, so be it. No worries here.

 

[Tiffer]

Using some other schools grading systems 83 is a C. My school I did my student teaching was like that. For example, it was 94-100 A, 93-86 B, 85-79 C, 78-71 D, and anything under a 70 was a F.

My grade school had a similiar grading system.

I think though, when a college looks at a 3.44 average, it is a 3.44, regardless of how the HS categorizes it.

 

[Cindy B]

I think though, when a college looks at a 3.44 average, it is a 3.44, regardless of how the HS categorizes it.

I've been told that the college applicant needs to state that the grading system is different than the usual 90-100 scale.

Personally I hate the 90-100 scale.

 

[MichelleVW]

I've got one average student and one above average over achiever and I am fine with both of them. I just want them to do their best.

The oldest has more college choices just because if you're not in the top 10% of your class in Texas you won't get into UT or A&M, but if the youngest one wants to go to those two she will just have to start out somewhere else and transfer.

 

[happygirl]

If my kids get F and the give it there best I'm okay with that. You can't expect more Then what they kids can do. Now if they get a F and aren't giving it there best then I will have issues

 

[Stitchfans]

I want my kids to do the best they can. If it meant that the best is a C, after studying and doing everything possible to bring the grade up, then I can accept that. Very few people excel at everything.

.

My thoughts exactly. I always tell my DD that as long as she is doing her best and not goofing around I am happy.

 

[claudia]

the only thing I ever ask is that the child do their best. The grade doesn't matter. We have a "variety" , one being an "average", one being an "over-achiever" and one being a "struggler".