Do you give Christmas gifts to adult nieces and nephews?

[Kycha]

My niece will be 21 in March. She is practically living with her fiancee. I love my niece but between DH and me we have 18 nieces and nephews ranging in age from 4 months to 27 years. And giving gifts to them all gets quite expensive. As soon as my DH oldest nephew(27 year old) had a child at age 17, that seemed to be the right time to stop getting him gifts. DH and I don't have children of our own, and our nieces and nephews make up for that. We have always bought them Christmas and Birthday gifts. We will continue to give Birthday gifts. So, short of her giving birth, what is the right time to stop giving my niece Christmas gifts???

 

[Samandmom]

Same with us when my niece had a baby at 17 , she stopped getting gifts and now the baby recieves them. My nephew turned 19 this year I am debating whether to get him something. He himself even said that he should not. lol

 

[Muushka]

I used 21 as the cut off age. I think if they had acknowleged the gifts that I had sent them thru the years I would still probably be giving them gifts, but, alas, no thank-you, no gift.

 

[Kycha]

My nephew turned 19 this year I am debating whether to get him something. He himself even said that he should not. lol

Good for him. He sounds like a good kid. Unfortunately, my niece is spoiled and expects gifts at every turn. I can't imagine her ever telling me not to get her a gift. If her much younger nieces and nephews receive Christmas gifts and she doesn't, I am afraid of how she will react.

 

[SoonerGirl]

I was just wondering this same thing. I have a 22 year old nephew. We've always given him a Christmas gift in the past, but I too am thinking it's time to stop. I mean I don't receive gifts from my aunts and uncles and haven't since I was a little girl! I just don't think it should be expected when they are grown - just my two cents for what it's worth - which really isn't much

 

[flipturngirl]

Well it might be different with so many nieces and nephews. My aunts both give my sister and my gifts, we are the only nieces that they contact or have so... But I do think there should be a cut off with so many. You could just do cards. .

 

[barkley]

not any more-not christmas, not birthday-none.

when they were kids and did'nt send thank you notes (or even aknowledge receipt of the gift the next time you talked to them)-i chalked it up to poor parenting. now that they are adults i've washed my hands of it.

we gave it one last shot this past spring-had 3 graduating (2 from college, 1 from highschool). sent all 3 a card with a check in each-no aknowledgement or responces, but i know they were recieved-i have the 3 cashed checks in my statement.

it's not that i expect a huge thanks or anything-it just got frustrating when my kids (much younger) would repeatedly ask me how their cousins liked something we had sent them. i never knew if they had or had'nt received them (we don't see them often so we would leave them off at mil's for when they would visit) so i could'nt realy say.

 

[bettyann29]

I still give my neice and nephews gifts but I only have 7.. A few of them are getting older now at 21, 19 and 18 but I still get them a little something.. If I had as many as you guys I probably would have to stop and just give a card..

 

[NMAmy]

I've always been extremely close with my nephew and niece. Now my nephew is 31 and married and my niece is 29, married, and has 3 children. They still receive Christmas and birthday gifts from me along with all the spouses and children.

Maybe it's because I AM so close to them--but I can't imagine having an age cut-off on their gifts anymore than I would my sister or my own child for that matter. Doesn't matter how old they get--they're still my family.

Of course, for last Christmas, my niece and her husband requested I do their big basket of mending as their Christmas gift. So, I sewed on buttons and fixed ripped seams and tied a big bow around the basket for Christmas. It was the weirdest gift request I've ever gotten but they were really tickled--neither of them can sew.

 

[Nancyg56]

I stop when they have graduated from high school. The exceptions are my nephews in the Marine Corps and my Godchild.

 

[beattyfamily]

We have quite a few nieces and nephews and most are over 18 now. Only 4 (including my 2 girls) are under 18 now. In our family we've decided that 18 is the cut off. Over 18, they can participate in the Yankee swap, which is $25 - $50 per unisex gift (we used to do a Secret Santa but have since switched to this Yankee Swap).

This works well because the swap is voluntary so if the older nieces and nephews can't afford to buy gifts, they don't have to participate in the swap.

I also do not give them birthday presents anymore because I'm not that close to them and they live far away and I only see them for maybe one holiday, if at all. If I were closer to them and saw them more often, I'd probably continue to give them b-day gifts.

I'm sure once they start having kids their kids will automatically get gifts till they're 18 and so on.

 

[Pixiedust34]

We're going to use college graduation as the cut-off age.

 

[antmaril]

This is the first year that I will not be giving gifts to my adult nieces and nephews. My sister is going through some tough times financially and she can't spend much on Christmas. Therefore, we've decided not to exchange at all. However, my niece has a daughter and my nephew has two daughters. I did buy gifts for the little ones.

I have to admit that I will miss buying gifts for them. However, I have to respect my sister's situation. Since she can't afford to buy something for my son, she does not want me to give gifts to her children.

Maybe next year.

We are going to have a grab bag exchange on Christmas Eve. Everyone will bring a $10 goft and we will draw names. You can either take a new gift or "steal" a gift from someone. We did this last year and it was fun.

 

[Tinks]

We decided the cut off would be graduation from high school. After that, no more gifts, just cards. I'll send them a care package once or twice a year in college just for fun, but no more birthday money or Christmas money.

 

[jen0610]

Yes we still give gifts to the 3 neices (22, 21, and 17) that are at our house on Christmas Eve for the family get together. Also, the one bf, now fiancee, gets a gift. As I posted on another thread, if you are in my presence at Christmas, you will have a gift, big or small, to open. The only exception would be if I don't know your coming. The neices bf was scheduled to work the one year and at the last minute, ie the 24th, they let me know he would be coming, it was the first year he would have been apart of our Christmas. The 2nd year he was with us, he was shocked to get something from our family.

 

[Blondie]

We go by the 21 or marriage, whichever comes first rule. After that they become a part of the adult secret santa where everyone puts their name into a hat with three items they'd like to get and then names are drawn. The cost limit is $30.00.

Not everyone participates in the secret santa though. Only those that choose to be.

 

[luvwinnie]

I still spoil my nieces at 19, 20 and 21. We go to a Broadway play and dinner each Decemeber and then I get them something to open also. Even when they have kids, I'll do this, BUT when you have as many as you, that just isn't feasible.

 

[pooh4evr]

We still have this debate every year with my mom's family- the entire clan gets together on Christmas Eve we are up to our 4th generation now (grandparents, aunts/uncles, cousins(mine) and our kids) Yes the "grandchildren" (my gen) is still part of the kids name draw -the oldest of that group is 36 and the youngest is a sophomore in HS there are 16 in that group. No one needs anything and we ahve said in the past few years that we don't really want to draw names because we just end up exchanging $10 gift cards with each other but I have 1 aunt that insists everyone do it every year, because her kids are the youngest "cousins" and need something to open they are 15 I don't think they are going to cry- we even said our girls don't need anything - the other great grandchildren are newborns- WHY must we do this again!! We thought we had gotten rid of it finally beacuse one cousin got called up to Iraq this month - and we all decided that sending him something would be much better than giving andothe unappreciated gift just because- but then at Thanksgiving she was pushing to do it again0 I just pretended I did not hear her, maybe she'll give it up!

 

[Kycha]

Thanks for all the responses. They were quite helpful. I decided the cut off date for her is age 21. If she wants a gift from now on, she will need to participate in the Yankee swap exchange.

Thanks again everyone!!

 

[suzij13]

My mom side of the family just started a new rule this year. Once the kids pass the age of 18 they only get gifts from people if they give them too. I'm 19 so this did effect me. I was going to get presents for everyone but my one Aunt and uncle didn't want to give gifts to any of the adults. So basicly once your 18 your treated like an adult and just like the other adults in the family if you want a gift you give one.