Do you get along with your inlaws? VENT

[gottaluvPluto]

I know how you feel. My MIL told one of her granddaughters that she perfered boys. We are now having problems with MIL talking bad about FIL in front of the kids. We have talked to her so many times about what she is doing, but she just doesn't get it.

My husband use to be active duty and everyone thought we were so lucky to be making a lot of money. People in the military work very long hours and don't get paid enough for what they do. I know some people who were on food stamps because they were making so little.

Good luck with the inlaws and tell your DH he will be in our thoughts and prayers.

 

[Mskanga]

Oh Boy I can give you stories.
My dh's parents died a couple of years ago but my FIL was the biggest selfish person I ever saw in my life. At one point we considered on buying a house with them and FIL said that he would own 51% of the property and dh would own 49%. When I asked why, the reason I was given is because I was not a "lastname". That made me so furious that I asked if his wife was born with that "lastname" or if she got it after she married him , like me with his son , and then we walked out of the deal.
They never once watched any of my children , because according to them they paid their dues . They never came to visit when we were living two houses away , they never offered to get anything from the store when I had surgery on my feet and I was on a wheelchair for six months ( but they had to drive by ny house to go out ) , but they never forgot to call here when THEY needed something.
But at the end when they were very sick , they came around and then they wanted to make up for all that. A bit too late now , they realized that THEY needed help because they couldn't afford to live alone and they needed care. I said no problem as long as we ( all siblings ) split the same amount of time , not only me because I was the SAHM.
Then SIL calls me one day to tell me that I owe her money because she had to buy an air conditioner for mom so she can stay at SIL's house for the summer. I was shocked because SIL is the one who invited her mom to stay there , and I have to pay for the AC? I told her that when they came to my house I needed to buy a bed, would they help me pay for it? she hung up!
Then SIL is also the one who every summer will ask me to watch my nieces for a week because she has no babysitter, I love my nieces and I don't regret watching them , but the week always turns into a month and I never see a dime for anything. She has never taken any of my kids for an overnight stay.
When my inlaws died a couple of years ago, dh got his part of the money that was left in a safe for them , he was told by the brother and sisters not to tell me anything until a few days later. DH thought they were going to do the same thing with their significant others and didn't tell me that night. He found out the next day that they had gone shopping that same night for kitchen cabinets and windows with their boyfriends , while I stayed home with all of their kids and mine , thinking they were taking care of funeral arrangements. Can you tell how mad I got? I have not seen them , or spoken to them since the funeral, neither has my dh and we like it that way!

 

[Mskanga]

Oh yeah, and don't forget about the time that FIL inferred that my oldest did not look like my husband , meaning he may not be the father.

 

[Kimickey]

My inlaws have to be the most selfish people I know. I don't not like them to say the least. MIL thinks DH, his twin brother, and his three other siblings should take care of her for the rest of her life. Everytime she calls it's always about something she wants. Yes she is married but not to DH's father, they divorced over 10 years ago. We have two children, DD is in private school, and DS is 5 months. Needless to say our money is present and accounted for. We live comfortable but comfortable for us. Not to take care of her because she does not want to work. We are not in debt. We take care of our needs first, then we have fun. She feels as if her children should be obligated to send her money each and every month to support her. I think not. Hello that is what your husband is for. She is a user, (very, very long story). If my SIL sees this thread you guys will see a very, very long post about our DMIL!!! I hope she does to get things off of her chest.

 

[Disney Doll]

I was fortunate to have great in-laws. My DMIL was a generous person who woudl help anyone who needed help. If at times she got a little bossy, you could forgive her beause her heart was in the right place.

DFIL was a gem, through and thorugh.

I miss them both.

 

[missypie]

To the OP: You probably know this, but you should be really grateful that your DH works so hard to support his family. Usually, the apple doesn't fall from the tree and where the parents are lazy moochers, so are their kids. So hats off to your DH for breaking the pattern.

As for my in-laws, all the adults on DH's side of the family are minions of Satan and I'm glad we live hundreds of miles away. In a little while we have to be with them all for the in-laws 50th wedding anniversary...I haven't seen or taked to any of them in 2 years and they all know why!

 

[luvmarypoppins]

Well I got along pretty good with my mil, the fil was another story. It just went from bad to worse. Towards the end it was pretty bad. It started when a week before the wedding fil told dh he could change his mind, knew a nice nurse at the hosp etc. Hello dh and I dated for like 9 years. I guess he never understood I wasnt going away. DH is an only child and the 3 ds were the only grandkids on both sides of the family. The one good thing he did was loan us some money once, but we paid back every cent. He never said thank you for anything we did for him etc. Never did anything I requested within reason, like buy kids good safe toys etc. Always picked up stuff from the road etc. Never told us any of his personal business, never told ds where one important paper was etc. Well now he is deceased and we are cleaning out the house and all the stuff is coming out of the woodwork. We are having to deal with so much trouble, like him bailing guys out of jail and them skipping bail hearings etc, someone suing him from an auto accident, not knowing any financial stuff, we did get a few things solved. Its just one big headache. We have been to 2 lawyers and they said they have never seen such a mess in their lives, that has to do with a property issue with his other relatives that my dh has now "inherited". Oh I could go on. Anyway may god bless your dh as he serves our country. Sorry about all your in law problems. Been there, done that.

 

[poohbear1029]

You MIL thinks military make a lot of money!


My DH must have a separate bank account with a lot of loot in it!!! Or, the Air Force is hiding it for us for safe keeping!

I completely understand about the MIL....we havent spoken to my MIL and SFIL in over 2 years. They are outta this world :space:

I will say, there is less stress on our marraige now that we dont speak to them, but I do feel bad that DH does not have a relationship with his Mom.

 

[ZachnElli]

I'm sorry you have such bad inlaws, but I feel your pain. No one has ever topped any of my in-law stories. They have been nice lately, but dh just gave them a big check And I mean big, then they asked for more. On top of that, we have some criminal element (really bad stuff I won't go into) and my mil who loves to make up stories about me and tell them to the whole family. No one likes me on his side, not really anyway. They are poor and I too came from a "rich" family (not really but they think so). My dad is a retired teacher, so we were definitely not rich. My dh is so different from his entire family (parents, siblings, aunts, uncles, cousins), it's unbelieveable he came from them! You are not alone! Someone has to be married to the Jerry Springer type families! LOL!

 

[Beth76]

I don't know how my DH came from his family either. He has a really good job, and an MBA. Nobody else in his family even went to college. Fortunately, they all live 4 hours away and we don't have to see them very often.

Now, we don't necessarily get along. I just don't have any sort of relationship with my MIL. DH isn't close with any of his extended family, so we really don't have to worry about them. We went to visit my MIL a couple of weeks ago and she hardly even spoke to us. She gave my son his birthday presents and that was about the only interaction she had with him the whole weekend. They live in the country and don't do ANYTHING. It's excrutiatingly boring to go visit them. After this last visit, we decided that we're not going back until we absolutely have to. Like at Thanksgiving or Christmas. If they want to see the new baby, they can come here and see him. Although, they won't be staying at our house. My MIL is highly allergic to my cat, how unfortunate.

I actually wish my inlaws were worse, because that would give us a better reason to just cut them out of our lives completely. The way it is now, they don't really do anything so bad. But, they don't do anything to add value to our lives either.

 

[Crankyshank]

Do I get along with my in-laws? Ah.. let's see. That would be a no. They approve more of my drunk, spends every penny he has on guns and camping instead of on his wife and 3 kids, wifebeating BIL - because he is "christian". And I, as a Catholic, am going to Hell and taking their precious son with them. They like me as a person, but think I'm a jezebel

To illustrate our relationship, here are the highlights of DH's phone conversation with them last night.

-They told DH they will no longer call when I am home, because I make fun of them. I'm not sure how they know this since I am careful to a) not talk to them b) go outside or down cellar if I need to snicker.

- They told DH his soul might no longer be saved because he has failed to convert me. Or at the very least, he may have less jewels in his crown when he goes to Heaven.

- Upon hearing that I have tickets to the DNC, but may instead help out my cousin's fiancee who is the event coordinator for the DNC (Democratic NAtional Convention), FIL told Mike that I will be in good company amongts the sinners.

- They find it alarming that I am making no effort to save my soul.

- We live in Gomorah because the gov of MA is a friend of the Kennedy's and supports gay marriage. Thankfully DH reminded them we live in RI and our governor is too busy fighting the Indians. Anyhow, Gov Romney is a Mormon conservative Republican and fought tooth and nail to outlaw gay marriage.

- If John Kerry becomes President, he is going to turn this country into a 3rd world country by legalizing late term abortions and raising gas and oil prices. Don't ask me to explain it - I have no idea.

These people don't know I sell adult novelties, or they would probably have a coronary

 

[ScarlettO]

Originally posted by Crankyshank


These people don't know I sell adult novelties, or they would probably have a coronary

 

[remyandhollandsmommy]

I feel alot better knowing that other people's inlaws are like mine. I don't really care what my inlaws think about me, but I hate it when they treat DH badly. He is the first person in his family to go to college (he is still getting his degree due to constant deployments) and he has a decent, stable job. I have been a part of his life for 10 yrs now (7 married) and have to remind HIS mom about his birthday (I have been known to throw a tantrum to get her to say Happy Birthday to him). She also used his SS# to commit fraud (I reported her), then had the bill sent to us! DH had to change his SS#. As a parent I can't imagine treating my kids like that. As for her treatment of my girls, well...she should thank god that they are a part of her family! At least my family is normal and treats DH like a long lost relative. My mom always takes his side and worships him (she actually has pics of DH in Iraq pinned up at work, and NO pics of me). Plus when my family found out he was leaving again, they sent early birthday gifts and cards saying how proud they are. Guess what MIL said? "If something happens to you, how much insurance do I get?" A direct quote. I said NOTHING! She is a real piece of work, I tell you.

 

[BibbidyBobbidyBoo]

Guess what MIL said? "If something happens to you, how much insurance do I get?" A direct quote.

 

[MelessaG]

Originally posted by remyandhollandsmommy
I Guess what MIL said? "If something happens to you, how much insurance do I get?" A direct quote. I said NOTHING!

Oh yeah, FIL had big issues with his name being taken off DH's life insurance policy and mine put on before he went to Bosnia. Boy does that conversation sound familiar! This thread has made me feel better about my in-law and step-in-laws too.
Crankyshank I got such a good laugh from your post! Thanks!

 

[momof3disneyholics]

Originally posted by Otto's Doll
HAHAHAHAHA

If only they knew the truth, huh?

Yeah, really!!!

 

[momof3disneyholics]

My inlaws are very mean-spirited and tried to cause fights between my DH and me. We didn't speak to them for 3 years, and decided to try it again for the sake of my children. I wanted them to know their grandparents. Well, the same old stuff started again (nothing basically make Mil happy, she'd rather complain than breathe), so we haven't spoke to them again in 2 years. I don't have any plans to talk to them in the future. There is just too much negativity there, and we are happy without them.

 

[Celluloidgal]

Whoa There are definately some wackos out there (and I guess SOMEBODY has to be related to them!

I'm VERY VERY lucky. I love my in-laws. In fact, my MIL just called me the other day (she was testing her new cell phone). My DH wasn't home, she just wanted to say "hi" to me & the kids. Even my parents & my in-laws get along. They are having dinner together tonight!

I worked with a gal that didn't though. Once while they were visiting her...she was at work, they didn't like how her kitchen cabinets opened, they wanted them to open the other way...yes, you guessed it, they changed them & didn't even ask! She came home from a hard day of work only to find her kitchen cabinets opening from the other side! I can't even imagine

 

[disykat]

Crankyshank - are you sure you aren't married to my dh's (nonexistent) brother? My FIL has accused me of being a liberal democrat (I'm a moderate republican IMO), think it's horrible that I'm LUTHERAN, and even worse, a PUBLIC SCHOOL TEACHER! I'm going to hell for sure. I've even been told all my friends just pretend to like me (they think it's weird to have close relationships outside the family). They think no one could possibly like me because I clearly treat their son horribly - I have opinions on things that affect our family and I even expected him to change diapers!

 

[Rutt and Tuke]

I guess I'm lucky. I have wonderful in-laws.

I am curious as to what adult novelties are-- is that like the things sold at Spencer Gifts? I love getting gag gifts there.


oops! I'm such an idiot. I figured it out. LOL