Do you force your teenager to keep their room clean?

[Jodi1980]

Some co-workers believe that if you let your son or daughter keep their room messy, it teaches them the wrong thing and that others will have a bad reflection of them - messy room, messy person, etc.

 

[grinningghost]

An issue close to my heart! My DD is the BIGGEST slob when it comes to her room. She's an honor student, she dances, she plays 2 instruments, she's a well behaved kid. But her room is a disaster area. Yesterday I cleaned it. It is still clean, but by next week, forget it.

No matter how much I harp on her, she just doesn't clean it. But if there's one thing I've learned being a parent, it's to choose my battles carefully. I've chosen to lay off on the room thing pretty much. If her grades were terrible and she was a problem child, I'd probably be tougher about it, but seriously, the messy room is small potatoes compared to what other 14 year olds are doing out there.

 

[sharbear]

Do they have teenagers? My teenagers do not have clean rooms and I am done trying to get them to. I do insist that they take the dirty clothes out of their rooms and to occ. clean. Other than that I have bigger fish to fry, such as getting DS though French!

 

[dandave]

My sons aren't teens yet (6 and 8), but they do have to clean their own room. I usually make the bed, but sometimes I have them do it. I just want them to know that I am not their personal maid. I take care of the rest of the house, but their room is their job and they know it. I'm sure it will be more difficult when they are teens, though.

 

[Serena]

No, I could get lost in there.

But, I heard that teenagers with a messy room are somehow smarter and more well rounded. I remember the thread here somewhere.

 

[December99]

Oh boy - that is a battle that I will not fight. I figure, if she wants to go to school with sloppy looking clothes - she's the one that has to serve detention - not me! You can't walk in dd's room right now and guess what she WILL be doing during spring break though!!!!! You got it - that room WILL be clean before the end of break!

The incentive is, however, she wants the cat in her room and I will not allow the cat in there because she might get lost (I'm not kidding - it's THAT bad). And I will NOT clean her room - if she needs to find something, than she will find it and I'm not the maid! If she wants someone to clean it - she can hire someone herself. I'm very *****y about this subject because of what happened to me once when I was younger and I refuse to treat my daughter that way! And I refuse to do the cleaning for her - I have 9 other rooms in the house to worry about.

 

[4greatboys]

My sons have to clean their room once a week. They have 4 chores to do in the course of a week: ds #1 cleans his room, unloads dishwasher once per week, cleans the bathroom his brother and he use (sweep, mop, clean toilet & mirror) and lastly help put up clothes if Im doing laundry--if Im not they get lucky.
DS#2--clean his room, vacuum living room, small hall and dining room & mop kitchen and entry way--also put up clothes if Im doing laundry. They get paid for their chores.

 

[Tiger Fan]

This is interesting. My mom and I were just today talking about this. She and my dad insisted that we keep our rooms clean as teenagers. We lost priviledges if we didn't. I am now 33 and my sister is 29. I keep my house very clean because I like things in order and got accustomed to having things neat while growing up. My sister on the other hand lets her house get so bad, I swear I don't know how she doesn't get lost. She does have 2 children and I only have one, but one of her's in an infant. She nor I work outside the home. She says she's still rebelling for the torture that our folks put her through to keep things neat - I however thrive when things are in order. Go figure.
Lisa

 

[Serena]

My dd's room is a mess. But, she knows exactly where everything is. She does her own laundry, and hates wrinkles.

 

[Krisu]

My DS's room is a mess! I just close the door I would rather save my energy for the big stuff But he knows, unless his clothes are in the hamper, they won't get washed.

 

[Mishetta]

My DS is 7.5 y/o & he has to make his bed (& neatly too) each morning. If it's made sloppy, I unmake it & he has to do it again. I wouldn't be so tough on him but I know he can make a "neat" bed, so he must. He also has to pick up his toys & clothes. I do the dusting (although he likes to dust) & Dad does the vacuuming. I expect my DS to help since he needs to learn to do things for himself. I don't want to raise a slob...but only heaven knows what will happen by the time he's a teen! I am afriad he'll be either one extreme or the other! HELP!!!

 

[caitycaity]

i was a SLOB in high school and in college (when i didn't have a roomate).

my mom figured it was a losing battle, and since i did my own laundry and had good grades, that she wasn't going to force the issue. fortunately, my dad has arthritis so he never came upstairs. i think he would have flipped out. LOL

anyways, it didn't affect me. when i had roomates, i kept my stuff tidy. at work, i keep my stuff organized and neat. i don't know what bad lessons you are teaching your kids if you don't force them to clean their rooms?

our apartment isn't sparkling, but i do try to clean it once a week. fortunately, dh is pretty messy too, so we don't get on each other's nerves too much.

 

[tc]

Again, pick your battles. My girls had to keep their room clean when they were in elementary school and some of middle school. It was a losing battle in high school. Kimmi's room probably has hazardous materials in it. When it came to their rooms, I figured if they wanted to live like pigs, I could just shut the door. They were not, however, allowed to let their mess go outside their own bedroom doors. Their bathroom had to be clean, and they had to keep their personal items out of the main living areas.

However, they are now grown, and both keep their apartments very clean.

 

[FOJMO]

Originally posted by Krisu
My DS's room is a mess! I just close the door I would rather save my energy for the big stuff But he knows, unless his clothes are in the hamper, they won't get washed.

I'm right there with you -- CLOSING THE DOOR! DD (17) keeps her room a PIG STY! But, it's HER room, she has to sleep there, and she does little else there. Even though she has a TV, she tends to watch the TV in the LR and the computer is in the sunroom where everyone has access to it.

However, she DOES do her own laundry.

 

[jsmith]

I discovered that the rooms stayed cleaner when i stopped fighting the battle. As soon as I stopped pushing them to clean my 17 year old started keeping his pretty clean on his own. the 14 year old is a little behind but owning it themselves has really helped

 

[The Sweetness]

Usually on Sunday, DD(11) has to get her room, desk, and bathroom counter in order. She puts away all of her things in their propper places and vaccums her carpet. She fusses the whole way through, but a girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do. I do chores at this time as well so that she sees that it isnt just her who does housework

 

[AMClvsMKY]

Although I don't believe they will be affected in adult life to have a messy room, my boys 13 & 9 keep thier rooms pretty clean and picked-up. They have always had to do this so there is no battle - it's the way it has always been. They both automatically make their beds before leaving for school and both know they need clean rooms to be able to play after school. The 13 year old has been doing his own laundry for about 2 years now and even tho he does them all together ( no sorting ) they turn out fine.

 

[Kallison]

Every night they pick up their floors and dirty clothes and straighten their rooms up. My kids aren't teens yet though, the oldest one will be in 6 months. I always had to keep my room clean growing up and it didn't psychologically damage me in any way. I tend to be a bit of a neat freak now too. When I think back on it my friends who were slobs then are still slobs today.

 

[disykat]

I'll expect them to tidy it fairly regularly (clothes to the hamper, garbage thrown away etc.) and always have a path to the door and window for safety! When company is coming they know it has to be clean. My younger son is a slob and I can imagine his room will be a problem. He will probably always have piles of clutter following him wherever he goes. His room is the one place I'll let him get away with some of it. He is gradually learning that it's much harder to clean if you let it pile up, but I assume it will get worse before it gets better. DS # 1 is neat.

My brother and sister are both slobs, I'm neat. We all followed the same rules growing up (which were pretty lax IMO!).

 

[momof2OH]

This is a HUGE issue around our house. My DD is 14 and her room should be condemed. This is actually the only thing she is supposed to do. I don't expect it to be spotless, just somewhat neat. Clothes put away where they belong, dresser tops neat, ect... If this is not done then she gets to do nothing. I feel that I only ask her to do this 1 thing and if she can't do it, then she doesn't do anything she wants. I need to get a shirt that says...I am not the resident maid! Also, if she doesn't put her clothes by the washer they don't get washed. We have actually washed her clothes before and just thrown them in her room on the floor, just like she does with the rest of the mess. Needless to say...she doesn't do much! I look at it as a responsibility thing.