Do you find the word "retard(ed)" offensive?

[mickey&minniealways]

You would probably get more response on this from the disABILATIES thread. However it would most likely be very heated so maybe not a good idea.

 

[ratherbeatdisney]

Sticks and stones can break your bones, but words can never hurt you. Obviously, I don't find it offensive.

I dont get this quote, I never have. Words can and DO hurt people all the time. If your mother said to you " i have never loved you, i never meant to have you as a child, you are a mistake and i hope you die", i would expect most people would be hurt, and hurt terribly. Words hurt people all the time. just as much as sticks and stones do. I never understood that phrase as a child, and i still dont as an adult.

 

[Cat0727]

Yes.


It's right up there beside "that's so gay".

Yes, I hate that expression too.

Jennifer Aniston saying ''********" on national TV just shows how much of a dip she is. She should have known better,

 

[luvthemouse71]

I voted yes, pretty much because very few people actually use the word in a medical context. It's almost alwAys used as a derogatory term.

I may be sensitive to it. My sister was very sick as a baby(bacterial meningitis) and ended up with some learning problems. She was basically lucky though, because usually kids who have a severe case like she did end up with blindness, deafness or severe mental delays. Anyway, she would get teased in school by some kids who would call her a retard. Actually, she is intelligent but just learns differently. Just the thought of how she must have felt to hear that word turns my stomach..

 

[luvthemouse71]

There was a movie out a couple of years ago, don't remember the name. One of the characters wore a t-shirt that said don't go full retard. It seems it has caught on. I was at the mall this afternoon with my DD15. She has mild to moderate MR with some global difficencies. A couple of guys walked past us. She recognized one of them as someone who goes to the same high school she attends. We heard him say to his friend. ------ is hot. To bad she had to go full retard. They were laughing about it as they walked off. She stoped in her tracks and her face just crumbled. I so badly wanted to say something but it would have embarrased her and would have fallen on deaf ears anyway. But I was fumming all the way home. So yes I find it insulting.

Ok, this is heartbreaking and makes me furious. Why do people have to be so cruel?

 

[browneyes106]

Yes, this - I voted other as well.

I am late 30's and heard and i'm sure I said it a lot growing up. Just as others mentioned in this thread years ago it was said all the time. I don't think either one meant harm saying it but I can see how some may find it offensive. I can see why people want the word to stop being used, but I hardly think it's worth a front page headline on People or US Magazine.

I also didn't think either one meant any harm. I'm 25 and when I was growing up I also heard it being used a lot and my dad would even tell us to quit being "********" when we would get on nerves. Where I live the word gets used in some situations here and there. I was watching the Today Show when Kristin said that and I didn't anything about it until later on that day when I saw a blurb on a website about it. In Kristin's case it wasn't as big as Jennifer's. I don't think either one said the word out of cruelty. Some people think Jennifer is stuck up but in interviews with the Friends cast she seemed to be the mother hen of he group always looking out for others. I remember a few years back she appeared on Good Morning America to meet with a teen fan of hers who had lost both her parents. Jennifer was very sweet to the girl and gave her an angel bracelet. Kristin has been known to be very generous person. Jennifer and Kristin were criticized harshly and people forget that desipte being public figures they are still human beings who make mistakes. I agree it wasn't worth for People or other magazines to make a big deal out of what Jennifer said.

 

[goofyernmost]

The problem here is that some sound as if they really think that they can "legislate" what people say. You cannot anymore than you can legislate what they think.

Behavior can be changed...case in point, public smoking...but that is a proactive thing and one must be prepared for some harsh stuff in the process. My point earlier is that no matter what word is attached to the situation it will eventually (if not immediately) be offensive to someone. The reason is that it identifies a scary, and actively socially hidden affliction.

That right...just face it...the only reason why the word is offensive or used in an offensive manner is because it is thought of as a shameful condition. We are all responsible for that attitude, even those that are the most "offended" by the use of it.

Mental Retardation is not a cause for shame, I'm sure you know that, but by lending validity to that in the form of being offended just causes it to continue because it is a button that can be pushed to someones advantage.

Try this...the next time you hear someone call out the word or phase connected with "retard" simply say...Ya! So? Takes a lot of wind out of the sails of effectiveness.

Also, be sure that, as in the case of J.A. it was intended to be a hurtful expression. Intent is way more important than a string of letters put together to form a word.

Tolerance is a two way street.

 

[arielsleepingbeauty]

My niece has Down Syndrome. I love that girl with all my heart. She is all good and can't help but smile when I see that little girl. I kills me when I hear someone use that word. There is nothing wrong with having an intellectual disability. I have never heard it used any other way than derogatory. We do not use the word ******** to describe her. We use developmental disability. When either of my DD's hear a friend say something like "that's ********" they will immediately say something to them. Sometimes people just do not know any better.
There are several words that we do not use anymore. I am not going to repeat them, but all I can say is that I am a social worker for the elderly and they continue to use the words they did when they were younger, even though they are no longer acceptable. My generation no longer uses those words so we can change and try to make it disappear from the next generations vocabulary.

 

[DisMN]

I don't know if I can explain this well but I'll try. I'm not offended by the term. The reason I'm not is because IMHO it's a term for being or doing something stupid. Really really dumb.

In my life, with several relatives and friends having down syndrome and/or other major and minor learning disabilities no one thinks of them being ********. We never did. They're actually smart, funny and do a great job at most things they try! We also don't look at other people with disabilities and think "********"....we think, oh, disabled, learning difficulties, handicapped, whatever.
Calling learning disabled or handicapped folks ******** doesn't make sense in the way people use the word these days.

I think the word is now used more in the way of "oh gawd what a stupid stupid thing he did!!"

Maybe I'm just desensitized to the word or something but it doesn't bother me to hear it aimed at someone doing something stupid or at a stupid situation.
I just don't see my handicapped friends or relatives as stupid so there's really a disconnect from the word retard. LOL

Boy this is hard to explain. LOL

 

[arielsleepingbeauty]

I don't know if I can explain this well but I'll try. I'm not offended by the term. The reason I'm not is because IMHO it's a term for being or doing something stupid. Really really dumb.

In my life, with several relatives and friends having down syndrome and/or other major and minor learning disabilities no one thinks of them being ********. We never did. They're actually smart, funny and do a great job at most things they try! We also don't look at other people with disabilities and think "********"....we think, oh, disabled, learning difficulties, handicapped, whatever.
Calling learning disabled or handicapped folks ******** doesn't make sense in the way people use the word these days.

I think the word is now used more in the way of "oh gawd what a stupid stupid thing he did!!"

Maybe I'm just desensitized to the word or something but it doesn't bother me to hear it aimed at someone doing something stupid or at a stupid situation.
I just don't see my handicapped friends or relatives as stupid so there's really a disconnect from the word retard. LOL

Boy this is hard to explain. LOL

but you are calling someone ******** to mean that they are stupid. My niece is ********, but she is not stupid so can you see how calling someone ********, when you mean that they are stupid, is offensive? Just because you are ******** doesn't make you stupid. So why would you call someone ******** and mean that they are stupid? You are then associating "stupid" people with ******** people. That is offensive.

 

[pepperw23]

NO, I find very very very few 'words' to be offensive....

The offense is in the intent.
And, I saw no intent to offend.
I don't feel that there is any collateral offense warranted either.

Society can be WAY to pc these days.

ITA.

I really wish we could focus more on with is really important. Here is what I find offensive and suspect most people will agree:

The crime rate
Drunk Driving
Violence
Racism
Rising loss of morals in general society.

If Jennifer Anniston wants to call her self a "retard" I really don't care because she is not hurting anyone. Now had she called a special needs child a "retard" that would be a different story.

FWIW, I don't use the word myself. I like to get more creative with my name calling like "booger flicker". That's a good one.

 

[DisMN]

FWIW, I don't use the word myself. I like to get more creative with my name calling like "booger flicker". That's a good one.

 

[Planogirl]

I agree that you can't legislate what people say. This is turning into another slang term and I bet that it will be widely accepted in the future.

 

[lacrosse_lady72]

I don't know if I can explain this well but I'll try. I'm not offended by the term. The reason I'm not is because IMHO it's a term for being or doing something stupid. Really really dumb.

In my life, with several relatives and friends having down syndrome and/or other major and minor learning disabilities no one thinks of them being ********. We never did. They're actually smart, funny and do a great job at most things they try! We also don't look at other people with disabilities and think "********"....we think, oh, disabled, learning difficulties, handicapped, whatever.
Calling learning disabled or handicapped folks ******** doesn't make sense in the way people use the word these days.

I think the word is now used more in the way of "oh gawd what a stupid stupid thing he did!!"

Maybe I'm just desensitized to the word or something but it doesn't bother me to hear it aimed at someone doing something stupid or at a stupid situation.
I just don't see my handicapped friends or relatives as stupid so there's really a disconnect from the word retard. LOL

Boy this is hard to explain. LOL

Hard to explain but I understand .

 

[DisMN]

but you are calling someone ******** to mean that they are stupid. My niece is ********, but she is not stupid so can you see how calling someone ********, when you mean that they are stupid, is offensive? Just because you are ******** doesn't make you stupid. So why would you call someone ******** and mean that they are stupid? You are then associating "stupid" people with ******** people. That is offensive.

I don't get offended by the word used that way. Sorry but I just don't.

By the way I don't call people ********. I hear it though and it doesn't offend me. I think the meaning of the word has evolved and changed just like other words have evolved and changed.

 

[arielsleepingbeauty]

I have thought this over this whole morning because it really aggravates me. I do find it offensive having a niece that has Down Syndrome. Now i look at it as to why others wouldn't find it offensive and it bugs me too. Mayeb it is that people that do not regularly deal with someone who is ******** do not find it offensive because it does not effect them.
I just watched a "what would you do" show with John Quinones (?) and it showed a boy with Down Syndrome,who was an actor, as the bagger at a grocery store and had different actors playing the customer. The actor customer was rude and said very cruel things to the boy. Thoa goal was to see how many other people stood up to the customer. No too many people did.They just stood there and said nothing. Why because it didn't affect them and they were not affected. I sat there and cried. I watched it with my DD's and showed them how cruel people can be to others whether it's someone with a disability or someone who is gay. Too many people stand by and watch others treat them terribly. It's so sad. I have taught my children to always stand up for those who may not have a voice. Stand up for what is right. Do not sit back and watch it happen to someone else.
I can see the future for my niece and I am scared for her that others who may not say the words, may also just stand by and watch it happen.
We have to stop tolerating these things. Whether you say it or not, you shouldn't stand by and watch it happen either. It's just as bad.

 

[Gigi22]

The word would select is "ignorant" -- I find people who use the word "********" to be ignorant.

 

[DisMN]

I have thought this over this whole morning because it really aggravates me. I do find it offensive having a niece that has Down Syndrome. Now i look at it as to why others wouldn't find it offensive and it bugs me too. Mayeb it is that people that do not regularly deal with someone who is ******** do not find it offensive because it does not effect them. I just watched a "what would you do" show with John Quinones (?) and it showed a boy with Down Syndrome,who was an actor, as the bagger at a grocery store and had different actors playing the customer. The actor customer was rude and said very cruel things to the boy. Thoa goal was to see how many other people stood up to the customer. No too many people did.They just stood there and said nothing. Why because it didn't affect them and they were not affected. I sat there and cried. I watched it with my DD's and showed them how cruel people can be to others whether it's someone with a disability or someone who is gay. Too many people stand by and watch others treat them terribly. It's so sad. I have taught my children to always stand up for those who may not have a voice. Stand up for what is right. Do not sit back and watch it happen to someone else.
I can see the future for my niece and I am scared for her that others who may not say the words, may also just stand by and watch it happen.
We have to stop tolerating these things. Whether you say it or not, you shouldn't stand by and watch it happen either. It's just as bad.

As I may have mentioned I have several, not one, not two, more than two down syndrome family members. I also have friends with various handicaps, people I met while working for Goodwill for many years. I've seen people be rude or unkind to them but if you watch or listen further those people are rude and mean to many others they encounter as well. It's not a personal vendetta against handicapped people, some people are just mean and nasty to everyone. Period.

That John Quinones junk is just that...junk. Those shows are meant to showcase the worst of humanity but the worst of humanity has always been here, they just happen to set up situations and then put them on film. Do you not see the sensationalism in that?

Personally I think humanity has come a long long way and in many ways people are more tolerant and understanding than they've ever been. (but not always, as you can tell by the scooter threads on the DIS. LOL)

 

[A_Princess'_Daddy]

I don't know if I can explain this well but I'll try. I'm not offended by the term. The reason I'm not is because IMHO it's a term for being or doing something stupid. Really really dumb.

In my life, with several relatives and friends having down syndrome and/or other major and minor learning disabilities no one thinks of them being ********. We never did. They're actually smart, funny and do a great job at most things they try! We also don't look at other people with disabilities and think "********"....we think, oh, disabled, learning difficulties, handicapped, whatever.
Calling learning disabled or handicapped folks ******** doesn't make sense in the way people use the word these days.

I think the word is now used more in the way of "oh gawd what a stupid stupid thing he did!!"

Maybe I'm just desensitized to the word or something but it doesn't bother me to hear it aimed at someone doing something stupid or at a stupid situation.
I just don't see my handicapped friends or relatives as stupid so there's really a disconnect from the word retard. LOL

Boy this is hard to explain. LOL

Sorry, but that makes you seem insensitive, not enlightened.

Change the R word to a racial, ethnic, socioeconomic or gender slur/expression. Remember, many of those words, now widely accepted as insulting and derogatory, also came from "accepted language" at one time. Say that word to somebody who isn't from that racial or ethnic, socioeconomic or gender group. Would you dare do that?

Furthermore, I'm sorry, having "lots of family members with Down syndrome and friends who are MR" doesn't give you any more of a right to be insensitive than, using that same analogy, a person saying "I have lots of friends from [insert racial, ethnic, socioeconomic or gender group] and they're not that [insert stereotype], so I can use [insert slur]."

Don't justify your insensitivity that way. Change your behavior or don't; nobody can force you to do either. But to pretend it's not hurtful using tortured logic doesn't make it NOT hurtful. It just perpetuates its usage.

 

[arielsleepingbeauty]

DisMN You are kidding right???