Do you feel being a parent limits the intellectual side of your personality?

[marlasmom]

I can't read this whole thread. I do note Chroach that you typed "effect" instead of "affect." This is not a typo. It is a lack of intellectual capability - on an elementary level.

 

[JetMom]

I have been trying very hard not to get drawn into this thread, and I guess that I have failed.

I read an average of 3 books a week (both fiction and non-fiction), run a business, volunteer in my community and am applying to graduate schools to start my masters degree next January.

I read the news every day and am hoping to squeeze out the time to volunteer for a presidential candidate's (and I am not saying which one) campaign on the local level.

I also enjoy movies, museums, sports and travel on a regular basis.

I don't think I am all that unique. Most of the mother's I know are very much like I am. We are active vibrant people who participatein the world around us.

The decision to have or not to have children is a very personal and life-changing one that should not be made lightly. I have friends who are parents and friends who are not parents. We support one another's decisions and lifestyles. When we do have questions about these choices, we ask them in a way that is respectful and not insulting.

I expect no less from my DIS friends. I feel very let down right now. I hope that we can put this thread behind us and move on to other matters soon.

 

[Mskanga]

Originally posted by marlasmom
I can't read this whole thread. I do note Chroach that you typed "effect" instead of "affect." This is not a typo. It is a lack of intellectual capability - on an elementary level.

Funny how parents can spell better than some "so self-proclaimed intellectual people" . Is it because we spend time with our children teaching them to spell?

 

[marlasmom]

Ms. Kanga - you are right and it may be that some parents are not so caught up in the self-aggrandizing proclamation of their childless and "superior" status that they actually have the time and incentive to THINK.

 

[Mskanga]

you are right and it may be that some parents are not so caught up in the self-aggrandizing proclamation

No , I don't want to get caught up in that, I'm having fun with my children, my husband and my friends! Life is good!

 

[pouncingpluto]

Ok, I haven't read all 9 pages of this thread, so maybe this has been talked about.

I'm at the age when my friends are starting to have children, and I am really uninterested in having any in the forseeable future. While I certainly don't think my friends have become any less intelligent, I really do miss what it was like to be with them before they had kids. It does seem that so many women lose their own identities when they have babies, and their lives are completely centered around the baby. It does become boring to talk to them... even when you like their kids and like to hear a summary of how they're doing, you sure don't find the kids nearly as interesting as the parents do.

I think it's that... the thought of losing my identity... that makes me not want a child. I love kids... I love my friends' kids and nephew and niece... but I really like having my life built around my own interests rather than around the trials and tribulations of childhood. Maybe it's because I didn't think childhood was that great. I like adulthood so much better!

 

[Bob Slydell]

Originally posted by pouncingpluto
I'm at the age when my friends are starting to have children, and I am really uninterested in having any in the forseeable future. While I certainly don't think my friends have become any less intelligent, I really do miss what it was like to be with them before they had kids. It does seem that so many women lose their own identities when they have babies, and their lives are completely centered around the baby. It does become boring to talk to them... even when you like their kids and like to hear a summary of how they're doing, you sure don't find the kids nearly as interesting as the parents do.

Do your friends mostly have infants right now? If so, then it's completely understandable that their lives revolve solely around their child -- that's natural, especially in the first year or so after having kids.

I have to wonder, though, if someone was to meet me (or other parents, for that matter) for the first time and have lengthy conversations with me, how would they know I'm even a parent (and thusly, have less intellect than I did pre-child)? Yeah, I'm going to talk about how my child is to a friend or relative who knows me, but it's unlikely that my son is going to come up in conversation (at least unless asked) with someone I've just met.

 

[Lewski709]

Originally posted by pouncingpluto
Ok, I haven't read all 9 pages of this thread, so maybe this has been talked about.

I'm at the age when my friends are starting to have children, and I am really uninterested in having any in the forseeable future. While I certainly don't think my friends have become any less intelligent, I really do miss what it was like to be with them before they had kids. It does seem that so many women lose their own identities when they have babies, and their lives are completely centered around the baby. It does become boring to talk to them... even when you like their kids and like to hear a summary of how they're doing, you sure don't find the kids nearly as interesting as the parents do.

I think it's that... the thought of losing my identity... that makes me not want a child. I love kids... I love my friends' kids and nephew and niece... but I really like having my life built around my own interests rather than around the trials and tribulations of childhood. Maybe it's because I didn't think childhood was that great. I like adulthood so much better!

Good thing you aren't planning on having kids.

 

[shep]

I didn't have a long enough attention span to read the whole thing.

 

[Deb in IA]

Originally posted by Chubroach

Is this being a great parent, yes, but it limits you as a person.

Actually, being a parent has greatly enhanced me "as a person" by providing more emotional depth, empathy, devotion, led to new interests and activities, and yes, intellectual growth than any other thing I have ever done.


I'll bet you have cats, don't you?

 

[Mskanga]

Pouncingpluto;
One thing is not being interested in having children and another is to not be interested in having children and insulting those who do by telling them they are ignorant.

 

[Galahad]

Originally posted by Deb in IA
Actually, being a parent has greatly enhanced me "as a person" by providing more emotional depth, empathy, devotion, led to new interests and activities, and yes, intellectual growth than any other thing I have ever done.

Exactly!

There are many benefits to society from having children. One of the biggest benefits is that there is nothing as effective as having children that will do so much to force adult humans to focus on something other than themselves. Those “bragging” parents that plaster the bumper stickers on their cars are not doing it for your benefit. They are not doing it for their own benefit. They are doing it for the benefit of their kids. All of the supposed intellectual achievements you miss out on by putting all of that energy into your kids are relatively meaningless to the world next to the benefits to the world of adults who become parents, change their being accordingly and raise their kids to do the same. Very few things in life can duplicate the benefit. Your job cannot. Owning pets cannot. And by raising those kids well you breed more humans that might be willing to help take care of all of the cats.

 

[goofygirl]

I drive proudly with that bumper sticker while my children are sitting in the back seat knowing that their mom loves them & is so very proud of them! In other words, I put in on my truck for THEM, not ME.

Wouldn't they still know you love them even if you DIDN'T have the sticker on your bumper?

Let's call it what it really is: SHOWING OFF.

And I was taught as a kid that "Nobody likes a showoff!"

It cracks me up that with topics like this the same old comments are made over and over again:

"Its a good thing you are not having kids!"

(Well, I happen to agree! Maybe for different reasons though!)

"Parenthood showed me what is really important!"

Well, I find this sad that you were not able to figure out what was really important til you had your kid. I feel fortunate that I know what is important WITHOUT having a kid!

"You childfree people just want attention!"

No, I do not crave your attention, nor do I expect any sympathy from parents for my choice. I do not think CRoach was craving attention either.

And parents don't crave attention? Heck, the cry for attention and sympathy starts even before even having the darn kid! People who can't conceive are among the worst in that area. They tell you too much info about their sex life and trying to conceive, and expect the whole world to feel sorry for them!

And then there's the pregnant ones who expect sympathy because they are tired, nauseous, moody, etc. Sorry, but its a CHOICE, not a disease, so no sympathy from me.

And then after the kid is born- the craving for attention begins by imposing pictures of the baby on everyone, and then the complaints about losing sleep start, again, no sympathy from me because, like I said, its a CHOICE.

 

[goofygirl]

I'll bet you have cats, don't you?

And if he/she DOES have cats..then...what????

What's your point?

 

[mickeyboat]

OMG!

Denae

 

[JetMom]

Originally posted by goofygirl


And then after the kid is born- the craving for attention begins by imposing pictures of the baby on everyone, and then the complaints about losing sleep start, again, no sympathy from me because, like I said, its a CHOICE.

So, you don't ever complain about your job, because taking that job was a choice. Don't complain about problems with your home, because you live their by choice..... I could go on and on.

What topics are deemed worthy to talk about? Obviously family is not.

 

[Mskanga]

Originally posted by goofygirl

And I was taught as a kid that "Nobody likes a showoff!"

Maybe it was that nobody was proud of you?

 

[DocRafiki]

So AAAANYWAAAAAAAY...

how's the weather where you are?

 

[Mskanga]

Originally posted by Mskanga
GG , trips may broaden your horizons but they sure don't broaden your brain and I will tell you why:



Dictionary - Thesaurus



Get the Top 10 Most Popular Sites for "prentenious"


No entry found for prentenious.
Did you mean proteinous?

Suggestions:
proteinous
parentings
parenting's
presentaneous
printings
prentiss
printing's
frontenis
prentices
preteens
pretense
proteins
parenties
perenties
preteen's
printouts
These are the closest matches that you have for prentenious

Did you mean Pretentious ?
Pretentious

adj 1: making claim to or creating an appearance of (often undeserved) importance or distinction; "a pretentious country house"; "a pretentious fraud"; "a pretentious scholarly edition" [ant: unpretentious] 2: intended to attract notice and impress others; "an ostentatious sable coat" [syn: ostentatious] [ant: unostentatious] 3: of a display that is tawdry or vulgar [syn: ostentatious, kitsch]




GG;
According to your standards I am poorer and uneducated because I had children ( but I know how to spell pretentious and English IS NOT my first language ). What's your excuse?

So, you don't ever complain about your job, because taking that job was a choice. Don't complain about problems with your home, because you live their by choice..... I could go on and on.

What topics are deemed worthy to talk about?

GG these were two intellectual questions that you still haven't answered.