Do you Facebook? Why or why not?

[rszdtrvl]

My son is the only one in our household who is on Facebook.

I was determined not to be on Facebook because I tend to involve myself too much in stuff that is none of my business (hey, at least I can admit it!).

However, my oldest friend has attempted to befriend my son, and I am wondering if I should go on Facebook, but be super picky about who I befriend. Like befriend ONLY friends or old classmates, and not involve myself in family drama by befriending family (this is where most of my issue of MYOB takes place - even though I know most people use Facebook as a means of keeping in touch with family).

Are you on Facebook? Why or why not? In my situation, would you go on?

I realize everyone is different, and know I will get a lot of different answers.

Thanks!!

 

[golfgal]

I think you are reading into Facebook WAY too much. It's a place, just like this in many ways, to just be. There isn't the day to day drama that people report for 99.9% of the people on there. It's a nice way to keep in touch with people you don't see often, and some that you do. I like to see the updates of people's kids' pictures or pictures of friends' trips or whatever. Last weekend we got to see Prom pictures from kids from our old town. That is what Facebook is all about. There is no law that says you have to accept every friend or family member. It is what you make of it.

My DH is like you-refuses to be "on" Facebook, yet he checks my Facebook several times/day to keep up with people .

 

[stashbin]

Yes I am on FB. This has been my experience:
When you first get on, it's really addicting and you will spend way too much time on it. After about 6 months you will just check it briefly and then get off unless you become a FB gamer. I have stayed away from all games on FB because that's just not my thing.
Now, I have an IPhone so I am on FB quite a bit. But it's only because I have it at my fingertips. If I did not have a FB app on my phone, I wouldn't be on it near as much.
It's fun to connect with old friends, but honestly, I have more friends on FB than I ever did in high school. Go figure!

 

[housetomouse]

I'm not, but I'm considering it. My biggest reason not to is that I think it will become a giant to-do list. I wouldn't plan to be a frequent user, just get on it now and then. But I think if you don't respond positively to friend requests, you're perceived as snubbing people. And if you accept friend requests and then people contact you and you don't reply, you're perceived as snubbing them. And I don't want to spend that kind of time connecting and corresponding with people. I don't want to be that available to everyone I've ever known.

 

[powellrj]

I am on facebook, but only have old classmates and friends I know as friends. My middle DS unfriended me and I don't have a problem with it, but love to tease him about it!

I have 0 drama on my facebook, because I just pretty much have other old people who just use it to share pictures with family and friends.

I have to say it has been a positive for me. I have reconnected with old classmates and now we have had 2 tragedies that I wouldn't have known about had it not been for facebook and we have been able to grieve together. One was a tragic death and the other is a grave illness.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

My son is the only one in our household who is on Facebook.

I was determined not to be on Facebook because I tend to involve myself too much in stuff that is none of my business (hey, at least I can admit it!).

However, my oldest friend has attempted to befriend my son, and I am wondering if I should go on Facebook, but be super picky about who I befriend. Like befriend ONLY friends or old classmates, and not involve myself in family drama by befriending family (this is where most of my issue of MYOB takes place - even though I know most people use Facebook as a means of keeping in touch with family).

Are you on Facebook? Why or why not? In my situation, would you go on?

I realize everyone is different, and know I will get a lot of different answers.

Thanks!!

I am but I hardly go on it. It is cool because you can catch up with old friends and it sucks because family stalks you. Mainly I am on there because my oldest dd (20yo) is a FB junky and we get grief from family over the crap she posts. Nice huh?

If you get on it make sure you put your security settings HIGH so people can't search you out.

The other bonus is that your local businesses, TV shows, entertainment stuff, etc. will be on there also and that is kind of cool.

The thing that I HATE about it is that people will beg you to play the games on there like "Farmville" and then ask you for stuff.

 

[Shyvioletisme]

well I"ve had a facebook since the early days back when you had to be in college to join and my college just happened to be one of the early ones to get it. It was a great way to keep up with what was going on on campus and get to know my classmates better. Then when it expanded, it became a great way to keep in touch with friends out of town/state/country and family who had recently moved out of state as well. There's not really drama on mine. However, if people continually post stuff I don't like, I simply block seeing their posts on my wall...easy as that. I love facebook. I"m not a phone person at all, so it is the easiest way for me to keep in touch with my friends and family and keep in touch with old high school friends and yes even play some games.

 

[NMAmy]

I'm on Facebook because my niece nagged me so she wouldn't have to keep sending her kids' photos to me in an email. I'm glad she talked me into it. I don't have a huge friends list--I'm related to most of them and have some friends from New Mexico on there, as well. It's nice to stay in touch. There's zero drama on there for me.

I have discovered that some coworkers have rabid political views that I was unaware of. I liked it better when I didn't know that. I've actually hidden some people so I don't have to read their posts.

 

[princesshannahsmom]

I do not have Facebook and I DO NOT want one. A couple of years ago, my MIL sent me a Facebook invite, so I joined. I was SO overwhelmed with friend requests from people who wouldn't give me the time of day in school, I just shut it down. My intention for joining was to stay in touch with ACTUAL friends and family, but for the few weeks I had it, it was like dozens of requests from those folks who just wanted to have a mass of Facebook friends. So, I just gave up!

 

[Kimi313]

I have been on FB since last fall when 20 year old DD who is in college set it up for me. I have loved it, its true at first you are on 24/7 looking up old classmates and family but after a few months you have your friend list and you get to stay in touch with them. You keep up with them with pics, say prayers for them, and chat with them. I've never lived by my extended family so now I have talked to cousins I have never met and the ones I have met I am closer to. Also when my mom was ill and having test after test done, I could just post updates on my wall each night to all the family and that helped with all the phone calls. Try it and if its not for you then drop it but I think there will be one part of it you will like.

 

[Harley Quinn]

I am but I hardly go on it. It is cool because you can catch up with old friends and it sucks because family stalks you. Mainly I am on there because my oldest dd (20yo) is a FB junky and we get grief from family over the crap she posts. Nice huh?

If you get on it make sure you put your security settings HIGH so people can't search you out.

The other bonus is that your local businesses, TV shows, entertainment stuff, etc. will be on there also and that is kind of cool.

The thing that I HATE about it is that people will beg you to play the games on there like "Farmville" and then ask you for stuff.

Oddly I'm really addicted to Farmville but that ticks me off as well. I only send requests to people I know play it and play it often. I would never dream of sending a request to someone I know didn't play it or play it regularly.

FB is a godsend I'm going through the worst experience of my life at the moment and lots of people want updates and to find out how I am etc, but to try and call them all have the same 15 minute conversation is draining. So I put it up on FB and people either message me back or call my sister or Mum.

 

[cluvsdisney]

I am on FB. I use it to keep in touch with some friends and family. It's easy to share pictures and little things you don't need to call or make an announcement about. In some ways, I am closer to extended family then I used to be because this is so easy.

I did get caught up in FB games which is just a time vacuum. I am down to one and the friends I need/made for that game are in a group that has very limited access to my personal information.

The only people I won't friend are current co-workers because I want to keep my personal and professional life seperate.

In your situation, I would open an account to keep an eye on your son's FB activity. It's too vast and potentially dangerous to be unsupervised (imo).

 

[FireDancer]

Just about everyone I know is on Facebook and so am I. It is where people post pics of their kids, where all of my sports teams post updates about the schedule or practice, and how I keep in touch with friends spread across the country. I go on just about every day but probably for no more then 5 or 10 minutes. I have no idea how the heck people manage to spend hours a day on there unless they are playing those stupid games.

I've also never had any of this Facebook drama because I don't feed it. Facebook is what you make of it and is only a problem if you let it be.

 

[liamsaunt]

I like facebook. I don't see the drama that some people have. It's an easy way to stay in touch on a casual basis with family and friends that are not not nearby. I like seeing people's photos and things.

You can use the settings to customize what you see. For example, I don't play any games, and so I have all the games hidden from my feed. That way I don't log on and see 100 posts about Mafia Wars or whatever. I also don't like to chat so my profile is set to offline.

I also have my friends grouped into lists. You can control how much of what you post can be seen by these lists. You can also individually customize what each friend can see on your wall, and where they can comment.

If you do join, make sure you reset your security settings. The defaults are "everyone" or "friends of friends." It's best to set everything to "friends only." And remember, it's safest overall not to put your whole life out there. I always use the rule "would I be OK with my boss or my Dad seeing this?" before I post something.

 

[ckay87]

If you do join, remember that if you don't wish to do the gaming, you can block those apps. Best thing I ever did. Otherwise your newsfeed is just cluttered with that stuff.

I just use it as a communication tool, and ways to receive information from the bands and businesses that I'm interested in. It is priceless in that respect.

I don't get all worked up about who talked to who in high school...maybe because I'm so far past those days. I've made new and great friends of some of those people, in fact. The way I see it, we connected via our common routes. Probably best I DIDN'T talk in high school, we all were idiots then!!

I have a love/hate relationship with all the teenagers who have friended me (I have teenage sons). It's kind of nice to know what's going on, sometimes but...some things I wish I didn't know!!

 

[rszdtrvl]

My son mostly plays Tetris on Facebook, and posts occasional stuff.

I doubt I would play the games - I am more of a "First Class Solitaire on Pogo" kinda gal!

I wouldn't befriend everybody - like I said I only want to use it for true friends. I have been told that it is easy to get sucked into being "friends" to people you don't talk to or even know (a friend of a friend). And I really don't want to befriend family, except for possibly my cousins. Closer family (read : my parents and DH's parents) = DRAMA!! And that is what I want to avoid.

I feel bad for my friend who tried to befriend my son. I told him not to respond to it. She is not his friend, but by doing the request, she basically gave me a heads up that hey! she is looking for my facebook account.

To a lot of people I know that FB is easier than making phone calls and emailing people separately.

I will look for more thoughts, and teeter more on it.

 

[mhsjax]

I have FB, I don't know why. Well yes I do, to keep up with my DD and because friends kept after me until I did.

I go on maybe once a day, I have had it for about 1 year, I have posted literally about 10 times. I just check to see what is going on. To me it is kind of silly. I don't care about what others "like" I don't care about the mundane details of anyones life, I don't need a list of chores that you have gotten done or how busy you are with your kids activities. I know I am in the minority, but if I want to talk to someone, I still pick up the phone, I won't have conversation on FB for everyone to see. Even my DD doesn't post much, I see her friends doing it, I see a huge number of her friends posting pics of themselves in bathing suits, and I told my DD if she ever did that, her FB would be gone. I have seen some drama/not so much drama on face book with teens, more along the lines of girls talking and when another friend asks what is going on they will say nothing to complicated, well then don't have that conversation on FB. Even my own family will call or e-mail or test instead of facebook, they, like me, just have no need for people to know about my day to day life.

Like I said, I find it a total waste of time, and I will probably get rid of it soon and just log in under DD so I can see what is going on.

As far as friends on FB, get real, most people are people you know, that is about it. Sure you have some, but there are people I have friended that I haven't talked to in years, if they were that important, I would have talked to them before that. Some people actually like to see if they can have more friends than others, so they will friend people that they knew 20 or 30 years ago, or friends of friends that they have met maybe once in their lives Sorry, those aren't friends.

 

[rszdtrvl]

In your situation, I would open an account to keep an eye on your son's FB activity. It's too vast and potentially dangerous to be unsupervised (imo).

He knows the rule for him on Facebook is that I MUST have the password. He stays logged in, and I have the password, so I can see what is going on. He does not chat much either (it interrupts his Tetris game so he keeps himself logged out of chat). I look at his account on a regular basis, and recently blocked some wahoo (who my son was not friends with on FB) who kept sending him negative email messages for no reason other than he thought my son should not respond to peoples comments.

I am very careful about him on FB.

 

[cybrkitn]

I'm not on FB and don't want one either (or any for that matter). I get my fill from here on the DISboards . FB is way too open for me and I'm not into that kind of thing anyway. DH and a few other people have been asking me to get an account, but I could care less about it.

DH got on it back in 2008 after his 20th HS renuion. He's been keeping in touch with old friends from high school and likes it. He has been playing the games on there as well (as does DS8 who loves Farkle). He played Farmville for a while but gave up on it.

 

[Carly_Roach]

Not on it. Never will be. Too much drama.