Do you ever think you're going crazy???

[CJK]

I always thought I was pretty level-headed and able to provide people with good advice when asked. However, within the last couple days, I'm starting to wonder if maybe I'm losing my mind completely! Could it be that the world as I know it actually different??

Two friends came to me for advice over their issues recently.

Friend #1
She has been dating a man for 5 months. Throughout the 5 months, my friend was suspicious over this man and his trustworthiness, but she really liked him. Little incidents kept happening, but this man was able to explain himself out of these situations. Last week, he sent my friend an email, essentially breaking up with her by saying he cheated on her over the past 5 months off and on and didn't deserve her. Well, through continuous talks with this man over the last few days, my friend is seriously considering taking him back. I explained my view to her (that I don't think he'll change since he lied to her repeatedly), but my friend disagreed with me. She thinks he deserves a chance to try to change. Other friends actually agreed with my friend. They said that I was close-minded.

Friend #2
He met a girl on line. She's American and my friend is Canadian. They started dating with her coming to visit twice. Two months later, they're trying to figure out how to be together, permanently, with this girl moving to Canada. The legalities behind the move overwhelms both of them. Now, she has filled him in on more of her romantic past and it ALARMED my friend. Seeing my friend so distraught and stressed out, I suggested that maybe he needs to rethink this relationship. There are too many complications. He disagreed with me too.

I understand the heart is involved in both of these situations, but I honestly think that these people would be better off ending these relationships. Obviously I'll support them in whatever they do, but I'm starting to second-guess myself. My nickname was "Doc" in school. Maybe I oughta change my name to "Dopey"!

 

[Minnie824]

Friend #1....I agree with you...especially after only 5 months...its not like she was with him for 10 years and it was 1 little mistake.

Friend #2...not sure of the friends' girlfriends past, but if she has not yet done anything specifically to him/against him, and they truly could possibly be meant to be, then maybe I can see them giving it a chance. That being said, I don't think I'd be in a rush to move to a new country to pursue it right away.

 

[Kimberly815]

Don't worry- Crazy people don't sit around worrying if they are crazy- they have much better things to do!

As for your friends, I think you gave them sound advice. You looked at their situation from your point of view and told them honestly what you thought about it. You can't do anything more than that. It is their choice if they want to take the advice or not. Just keep supporting them by being the good honest friend that you have always been to them.

 

[Fishbone†]

Friend #1 - Absolutely she needs to end it - cheating is a bad sign, and if that's happening in the "honeymoon" period of the relationship, it doesn't bode well for when the tough times come. End it before she gets any more attached - the sooner she gets out, the less painful it will be.
JMHO.

 

[CJK]

Thanks everyone!

It's nice to know I'm not completely out in left field here! I agree with you!

 

[Sandy V.]

Well, if you're crazy, then so am I - I agreed with your opinion on both relationships.

By the way, you're probably not crazy if you THINK you may be crazy - it's the really crazy people out there that think they're okay that you have to worry about. Know what I mean?!?!?

 

[Disney Doll]

Sometimes when I hear the decisions others make, or the things they ask advice about which should be totally obvious, I think I am crazy too.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

No you are not crazy...Good advice to give people..(make it generic, lol)...
"the hardest decision is probably the right one."
Let them stew in that for awhile.....

 

[Sparx]

I think I may very well go crazy soon. No advice for your friend, but I would like to hijack with a vent for just a second. thanks

One of my very close friends lost his grandmother and became depressed, his mom sent him to counseling and they decided to send him to a Medical Center for psychiatric treatment. Hes been gone for 6 days and is expected to be gone up to 10. People are coming up to me asking about him and its hard to tell them "i don't know" when I really do. The people that need to know (his best friends and closest friends) know. and thats all that I think need to know. Other than that, I'm sorry, he'll tell you if he wants. I tell them that he is ok and he hasn't done anything wrong, but he's oging to be gone awhile. Its making me crazy. I've talked to him everyday for two years. Now all of a sudden he's just gone. I have been almost-sortof about to cry/crying for days. I can't look at his picture or hardly talk about him. I'm so worried. I know hes ok, but hes not really "ok" until I can see him, if that makes sense. I really can't wait for him to be back, but I know he needs to get better, and if that means him being there, then I watn him there. I just want him to get better adn be healthy, but I still miss him.

Thanks for letting me get that out.

 

[HonestAbe]

Sure - you're crazy.

Seriously, if your friends dont want advice they shouldnt ask. If they decide to take it or not again their decision. However it sounds like you gave your 2 cents and if they dont like it they can deal with it. And in 2 or 3 years you can say I told you so.

Sounds like they want validation for not so wise decisions. Either follow your heart or follow your head but they need to quit asking people to make the decisions for them.

 

[CJK]

Thanks everyone! It's nice to know we're all crazy together!

Sparx - Your friend is very lucky to have you in his life.