I was thinking that the OP's kids complain they are bored because the OP is so good about finding fun things for them to do! Not a criticism but maybe its time the kids were expected to keep themselves occupied and like others have said, had an entertainment budget and when its gone, its gone.
do you do outings every day in the summer?
- Thread starter descovy
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I was thinking that the OP's kids complain they are bored because the OP is so good about finding fun things for them to do! Not a criticism but maybe its time the kids were expected to keep themselves occupied and like others have said, had an entertainment budget and when its gone, its gone.
pigletto
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We do a lot in the summer but not all of it is costly. Much of it is free. Honestly if my kids did as much as the do and said they were "bored" they'd be doing less, not more.
Both our parents have pools, we have a family cottage, I do daycare part time so they have friends here to play with, live across the street from a park, and use the library. So that's all free.
We also go to the drive in or movies every two weeks or so, ds had 3 weeks of camps, and was on the soccer team, and we got a new puppy. That ate up the summer budget (and then some
) so they know the limit.
DD16 went to a few concerts this summer and had quite a few sleepovers with friends, but she has a job so isn't here much.
Both our parents have pools, we have a family cottage, I do daycare part time so they have friends here to play with, live across the street from a park, and use the library. So that's all free.
We also go to the drive in or movies every two weeks or so, ds had 3 weeks of camps, and was on the soccer team, and we got a new puppy. That ate up the summer budget (and then some
) so they know the limit.DD16 went to a few concerts this summer and had quite a few sleepovers with friends, but she has a job so isn't here much.
theelfqueen
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What we did this summer...
At the beginning of the Summer we made 4 lists, and printed and cut them into color coded strips. The kids were allowed to pull one occasionally, not daily.
Green = Spendy To Dos (go to movie, museum, etc.)
Yellow = Free or Low Cost To Dos (go to the library, go for a hike, etc.)
Blue = At Home To Dos (make ice cream, set up the slip and slide, etc.)
and Red = "I'm bored" chores... chores to do for kids who complain about being bored. None of them were huge things -- like Clean the baseboards in one room, organize the tupperware cabinet, etc.
At the beginning of the Summer we made 4 lists, and printed and cut them into color coded strips. The kids were allowed to pull one occasionally, not daily.
Green = Spendy To Dos (go to movie, museum, etc.)
Yellow = Free or Low Cost To Dos (go to the library, go for a hike, etc.)
Blue = At Home To Dos (make ice cream, set up the slip and slide, etc.)
and Red = "I'm bored" chores... chores to do for kids who complain about being bored. None of them were huge things -- like Clean the baseboards in one room, organize the tupperware cabinet, etc.
disny_luvr
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What we did this summer...
At the beginning of the Summer we made 4 lists, and printed and cut them into color coded strips. The kids were allowed to pull one occasionally, not daily.
Green = Spendy To Dos (go to movie, museum, etc.)
Yellow = Free or Low Cost To Dos (go to the library, go for a hike, etc.)
Blue = At Home To Dos (make ice cream, set up the slip and slide, etc.)
and Red = "I'm bored" chores... chores to do for kids who complain about being bored. None of them were huge things -- like Clean the baseboards in one room, organize the tupperware cabinet, etc.
GREAT idea! I think I may steal it and do this same thing next summer.
worm761
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What we did this summer...
At the beginning of the Summer we made 4 lists, and printed and cut them into color coded strips. The kids were allowed to pull one occasionally, not daily.
Green = Spendy To Dos (go to movie, museum, etc.)
Yellow = Free or Low Cost To Dos (go to the library, go for a hike, etc.)
Blue = At Home To Dos (make ice cream, set up the slip and slide, etc.)
and Red = "I'm bored" chores... chores to do for kids who complain about being bored. None of them were huge things -- like Clean the baseboards in one room, organize the tupperware cabinet, etc.
I love this. I pinned it for reference next summer!
Minnie_me
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I'm a single mom and a teacher, and I go 12 weeks in the summer without a paycheck!
My daughters are 13 and 16, and they learned a few years ago that they'd better not dare tell me they're bored. Every summer, I fill a jar with slips of paper. On the slips, I write chores. Weeding, cat box, walking the dog, sweeping the floors, dusting, sweeping the porch, etc. When anyone says, "I'm bored!", they have to pick a chore.
Of course, I do treat them to outings and such. But instead of DAILY, we do weekly. Each Sunday during the summer, we decide what "money-thing" we will do (that's the name they came up with, to describe an activity that costs money). Movies, museums, day trips, etc. Otherwise, we're home and finding ways to keep ourselves busy.
I have LOTS of home improvement projects to keep me busy. And since I'm a teacher, I have lots to do to get ready for the fall. My kids will help me with both things. But they have also become avid readers, they love to draw, they work on training the puppy, they do odd jobs for neighbors, they make lots of crafts.
My daughters are 13 and 16, and they learned a few years ago that they'd better not dare tell me they're bored. Every summer, I fill a jar with slips of paper. On the slips, I write chores. Weeding, cat box, walking the dog, sweeping the floors, dusting, sweeping the porch, etc. When anyone says, "I'm bored!", they have to pick a chore.
Of course, I do treat them to outings and such. But instead of DAILY, we do weekly. Each Sunday during the summer, we decide what "money-thing" we will do (that's the name they came up with, to describe an activity that costs money). Movies, museums, day trips, etc. Otherwise, we're home and finding ways to keep ourselves busy.
I have LOTS of home improvement projects to keep me busy. And since I'm a teacher, I have lots to do to get ready for the fall. My kids will help me with both things. But they have also become avid readers, they love to draw, they work on training the puppy, they do odd jobs for neighbors, they make lots of crafts.
StephMK
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Nope, we don't do something every day and I don't entertain them all the time either. Lots of days we are just home or I run errands and they don't want to come.
They went on a mission trip, spent a week at Grandma's, went to the beach and did some sightseeing on vacation. Otherwise, we hang at home or go to the pool. DS didn't even want to take his tae kwon do class this summer. They like having lots of free time after all the schedules of middle school and activities. When I went back to work, there were a few days they didn't even get dressed. I'm ok with lazy days, they will be gone soon enough!
They went on a mission trip, spent a week at Grandma's, went to the beach and did some sightseeing on vacation. Otherwise, we hang at home or go to the pool. DS didn't even want to take his tae kwon do class this summer. They like having lots of free time after all the schedules of middle school and activities. When I went back to work, there were a few days they didn't even get dressed. I'm ok with lazy days, they will be gone soon enough!
englishteacha
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Why not give them a map of your area and have them plan out what they want to do, how to get there, and a budget for events. Maybe have a $50 entertainment budget for the week, or something like that. If they don't spend all $50, it rolls over to the next week. Then they take some responsibility. You could also assign them tasks to help keep them busy. Maybe each of them could plan one dinner a week and help prepare it (or prepare it themselves if they're able.) You could also plan a few special "big" events, or let them figure those into the entertainment budget as well.
My in-laws have a list of "I'm bored" activities-Read a book, play on the swingset, play with the dog/cat, cook something (with dad's permission), play a game, draw/color/paint, etc. I'm sure you can find lots of free ideas on Pinterest or in the Family Fun magazine (lots of their ideas are on their website for free). If anyone says "I'm bored," they have to do something from the list for a set amount of time (I think half an hour?).
My in-laws have a list of "I'm bored" activities-Read a book, play on the swingset, play with the dog/cat, cook something (with dad's permission), play a game, draw/color/paint, etc. I'm sure you can find lots of free ideas on Pinterest or in the Family Fun magazine (lots of their ideas are on their website for free). If anyone says "I'm bored," they have to do something from the list for a set amount of time (I think half an hour?).
I agree. Doing too much can be counterproductive because the kids don't learn to entertain themselves or deal with a minute when they don't have something going on.
I suggest that next year you plan 1-2 outing a per week, and let that be that. If they complain about being bored, give them chores. They won't complain too many times.
This Summer is history, but think about next year. I would not even bring it up right now as that is way to far out to have much meaning to them.
For us, it's about balance. I want us all to have fun, but three months of pure fun is not good for anyone. They need chores and responsibilities too. You can link these to the outings if you wish. Find them a place to volunteer. This is big in our home and even young kids can go to the nursing home and talk to lonely seniors. Require them to read. Set a reading time each day. Make library a weekly required trip. When we were young, my mom would give us a dollar bill to use as a book mark. When the book was done, the dollar could be used to buy a new book. Might need to be a 5.00 bill now. Learn a new skill together. This summer we cut out all convergence foods. We tried so many new recipes and learn to bake pound cakes. We limit TV, but bedtimes go out the window, we allow a bit more wii and spend more time together. We spend a ton of time at the pool, hit up the local parks, and only do one or two regular movies. We do the free or 1.00 kid movies a few times and red box sometimes. We do have the free bowling, but maybe go 4 or 5 times a Summer. We love Summer. If money is the biggest issue, maybe let them use your budget to plan what they want to do most. I would have the conversation about a month before school is out and set your guild-lines and be firm in them!
Excellent post. Picking a new skill for the summer is a great idea. I have a friend who does this. I helped her last year when her goal was learning to can food.
Yeah, that kind of thing happens in my house too. I'm fine with a lazy day perhaps once a week, but not every day. Something that's worked for us is setting goals at the beginning of the summer and writing them on the calendar. It's prevented us from suddenly realizing that the summer's gone and we have only accomplished two out of twenty goals.
Don't turn that into a self-fulfilling prophecy! My kids are 16 and 19, and we still do plenty of things together -- even with their friends.
disneybirds
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One thing I did this summer was assign lunch duty. I have two girls that are 11 and 14. For the weeks we were home, I had one make lunch on Mon/Wed and then the other on Tues/Thurs. I made lunch on Friday or we went out. I loved how creative they were with the lunches.
I have thought about the budgeting idea for next year and let them decide how to spend the money over the summer. We went with friends to a water park this summer and my 14 year old even said at the end of the day that it wasn't worth the price we paid to get in.
I have thought about the budgeting idea for next year and let them decide how to spend the money over the summer. We went with friends to a water park this summer and my 14 year old even said at the end of the day that it wasn't worth the price we paid to get in.
This is my 19 y/o daughter and 16 y/o son to a tee! Sometimes "starting his day" includes a nap
Nancyg56
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I was as well. My Mom did not tolerate whining so we learned early on that we better figure out how to pass time or she would do it for us. When my kids were growing up I had a finite amount of money. We did day trips during the summer but we also stayed home and they kept busy.
My DD has pointed out that it was different when she was younger so she has a different way of keeping her daughter active. DGD participated in a summer school program for the month of July. She went to school for reading and math but there was also a Gym period for the kids. Her skills stayed polished and she was able to make new friends. DGD also has a lot of chores that must be done on a daily basis, so that takes up a portion of the day. DD is back in school and not working so finances are tighter than they were, so day trips are not as plentiful as they were last year. I think that they are more appreciated this year than they were last year.
I also am one of those parents who starts listing chores if they say they are bored. I very rarely hear it. My son is 14 and he had driver's ed for a few weeks and now has marching band camp for a few weeks.
He showed interest in gardening with me so this summer I thought I would pry him away from electronics with a major project. We gave him the area outside the walkout basement that had nothing but scrabbly weeds and grass after 6 years of living here.
He and his dad found free stone blocks on craigslist for a patio, he decided he wanted a fountain and finally found one for 50 dollars (he had found some really outstanding ones for $900! that we said no to), we promised he could have great grandma's old metal outdoor furniture set if he refinished it. He and his dad have worked all summer and have finished 2 chairs, a table and are halfway done with the glider. They look fantastic.
He showed interest in gardening with me so this summer I thought I would pry him away from electronics with a major project. We gave him the area outside the walkout basement that had nothing but scrabbly weeds and grass after 6 years of living here.
He and his dad found free stone blocks on craigslist for a patio, he decided he wanted a fountain and finally found one for 50 dollars (he had found some really outstanding ones for $900! that we said no to), we promised he could have great grandma's old metal outdoor furniture set if he refinished it. He and his dad have worked all summer and have finished 2 chairs, a table and are halfway done with the glider. They look fantastic.
No way, no how! Even if I could afford to do it, I wouldn't take my daughter on outings every single day!
They need to find a way to entertain themselves and not rely on going someplace all the time!
I would let them know that next summer is going to be super limited. Maybe 1 outing per week. That's actually more than enough with all the other stuff you mentioned they did.
As a previous poster said, set a "summer entertainment budget" and stick to it. Before the outing, let them know "the budget for the month is $______ and this outing is going to cost $________. Keep in mind, if we spend too much, we won't have enough for other outings".
Also, the "eat/drink" nonsense any time you go somewhere. NO WAY. I'm not spending $2 on a cup of juice at a bowling alley when I can buy a gallon jug of juice for $2.50! If they can't survive for a few hours without food or water, that's a problem. However, you can tell them you'll bring 3 juice boxes OR they can each bring a reusable bottle of water/juice from home as well as a small snack (cookies, chips, fruit).
When I take my daughter on outings (any time, not just summer), I set a strict limit and she knows it. From a young age, she would be sure to pack her own drinks/snacks.
They need to find a way to entertain themselves and not rely on going someplace all the time!
I would let them know that next summer is going to be super limited. Maybe 1 outing per week. That's actually more than enough with all the other stuff you mentioned they did.
As a previous poster said, set a "summer entertainment budget" and stick to it. Before the outing, let them know "the budget for the month is $______ and this outing is going to cost $________. Keep in mind, if we spend too much, we won't have enough for other outings".
Also, the "eat/drink" nonsense any time you go somewhere. NO WAY. I'm not spending $2 on a cup of juice at a bowling alley when I can buy a gallon jug of juice for $2.50! If they can't survive for a few hours without food or water, that's a problem. However, you can tell them you'll bring 3 juice boxes OR they can each bring a reusable bottle of water/juice from home as well as a small snack (cookies, chips, fruit).
When I take my daughter on outings (any time, not just summer), I set a strict limit and she knows it. From a young age, she would be sure to pack her own drinks/snacks.
angierae
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My daughter is 18.5 and we still do lots of things together, too. She had friends and spends time with them but we go to movies together, concerts, WDW...
verleniahall
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wow~~~ can you be MY mom??? we went on vacation MAYBE every other year, and both of my parents worked so when i was younger, i spent my time at my grandparents, and when i got older, i was able to stay home alone or hang out at a friends house, so i had to be able to entertain myself!!
Summers in Az are different than in other parts of the country. Its just too dang hot to even leave the house! We don't spend very much time outdoors and are constantly looking for stuff to do indoors. Plus there really aren't very many kid friendly places to choose from in Tucson.
We never did daily outings in our house. There are a lot of boring days but we usually had 1 or 2 days out at the movies, bowling, pizza place, ice cream or mall and library. The rest of the days we stay in at home and just relax. Kids play with their friends, do sleep overs, swim (we have a pool), watch movies and now that I have teenagers, they sleep in.
When the kids were younger they went to a week long or 2 week long day camp and that gave them something to do and me a break.
My kids know that that's daily life here at home ( can be boring). Nothing too exciting overall but we have our fun days that we all look forward to. Makes them seem more special too!
DD got her first job at the nearby movie theater so she's been working a couple of days a week all summer too.
Personally, I can't stand summers and I think its because I was born and raised in Tucson and its freaking hot and there is nothing to do. We tend to get out more in the winter than in the summer here.
We never did daily outings in our house. There are a lot of boring days but we usually had 1 or 2 days out at the movies, bowling, pizza place, ice cream or mall and library. The rest of the days we stay in at home and just relax. Kids play with their friends, do sleep overs, swim (we have a pool), watch movies and now that I have teenagers, they sleep in.
When the kids were younger they went to a week long or 2 week long day camp and that gave them something to do and me a break.
My kids know that that's daily life here at home ( can be boring). Nothing too exciting overall but we have our fun days that we all look forward to. Makes them seem more special too!
DD got her first job at the nearby movie theater so she's been working a couple of days a week all summer too.
Personally, I can't stand summers and I think its because I was born and raised in Tucson and its freaking hot and there is nothing to do. We tend to get out more in the winter than in the summer here.
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