Annette_VA
DIS Veteran
- Joined
- Feb 19, 2004
- Messages
- 7,441
Got this from a friend...totally made me 
I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so
much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have
never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart.
FOR EXAMPLE: One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into
bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says "I don't
feel like it, I just want you to hold me."
I said "WHAT??!! What was that?!"
So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to
hear... "You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough
for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man."
She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for who
I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?"
Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.
The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with
her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big
unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on
several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to
take so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to
compliment her new clothes, so I said lets get a pair for each outfit.
We went onto the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of
diamond earrings. Let me tell you...she was so excited. She must have
thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was
testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even
know how to play tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I said,
"That's fine, honey."
She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement.
Smiling with excited anticipation she finally said, "I think this is all
dear, let's go to the cashier."
I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out,
"No honey, I don't feel like it."
Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled
WHAT?"
I then said "Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while.
You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough
for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman." And just when she had
this look like she was going to kill me, I added, "Why can't you just love
me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?"
Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either...
I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so
much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have
never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart.
FOR EXAMPLE: One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into
bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says "I don't
feel like it, I just want you to hold me."
I said "WHAT??!! What was that?!"
So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to
hear... "You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough
for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man."
She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for who
I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?"
Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.
The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with
her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big
unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on
several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to
take so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to
compliment her new clothes, so I said lets get a pair for each outfit.
We went onto the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of
diamond earrings. Let me tell you...she was so excited. She must have
thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was
testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even
know how to play tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I said,
"That's fine, honey."
She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement.
Smiling with excited anticipation she finally said, "I think this is all
dear, let's go to the cashier."
I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out,
"No honey, I don't feel like it."
Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled
WHAT?"
I then said "Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while.
You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough
for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman." And just when she had
this look like she was going to kill me, I added, "Why can't you just love
me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?"
Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either...
Too funny!!
