Do servers not want a tip?

[wenrob]

Rather than asking for change or to break the ten, why not just specify how much you'd like back? If you plan on leaving $7.80 then just say, "please bring me $5 back." Then there's no confusion on your intent and no assumption on the server's part. Everybody does their own math and there's no irritation on anyone's part.

edited: Oops I gave up on the thread too early and see FayeW made the same suggestion.

 

[Cannot_Wait_4Disney]

For the fourth time in less than two weeks I have had a restaurant server not understand how to make change when paying cash.

Most recently the bill was $37.20. I put two twenties and a ten in with the bill and specifically asked for change. I got back two ones, eighty cents, and the same ten I had put in the folder.

I had to ask again for change for the ten, strangely the server didn't seem to grasp why.

Did they expect me to tip them 27% with the ten? Or has the education system and credit cards helped raise a generation or two that can't do basic math?

You need to tell people exactly what you want. You should have handed them the $40 and then hand them the ten and tell them you need a five and five ones for the tip. Or better yet, calculate how much you want to leave for the tip and say I'd like $X back and the rest is yours. Don't expect people to read your mind.

 

[Cannot_Wait_4Disney]

Being rude seems to work for many people.

Rude? The Dis? We're totally incapable of being rude.

 

[spinandmarty]

twenty plus year bartender here, if you had an extra 10.00 i would say you want me to break this down for you... I would never ever say you need change... thats just rude....

 

[MrsCobraBubbles]

I've known plenty of servers who would gamble on you leaving a bigger tip if the change was in bigger bills, it could have been intentional. Depends on what type of place this is. For instance: people who have had a couple drinks with dinner don't usually want to try to fuss and figure out a tip and they will typically leave the $10 in your scenario. However, if you were at a family or mom-and-pop type place a seasoned waitress would have brought you smaller bills. If that didn't happen I'd assume the waitress wasn't well trained. I find that it's best to plan ahead and have the smaller bills ready before going someplace that I'm going to need to tip, it cuts down on the awkwardness.

 

[Goofy_Disney_Dad]

Rude? The Dis? We're totally incapable of being rude.

I know. Once I wrote it I realized that my intended audience wouldn't even see my message. Innocent and pure as the driven snow I tell ya!

 

[Cantw8]

Because I think it is the servers job to open it up. If it isn't the amount of the bill, then bring the change....Unless the customer tells the server to keep the change.

exactly. No one asked the server to perform an exercise in mind reading. Open it up, and unless I say, "just keep it." then go make my change and bring it to me. It used to be they would always say, "I'll be right back with your change" nowadays it seems to be an assumption that whatever is in there belongs to them. I'm sorry if you have to walk an extra couple of steps to the cash register

 

[Aliceacc]

That is an interesting theory. But it presupposes that the posters here have either never waited tables or never had a job that relied on tips.

There are some posters here-- not all, but some-- who show such disdain for the waitstaff that I can't imagine that they've ever walked in those particular shoes before.

 

[gwynne]

There are some posters here-- not all, but some-- who show such disdain for the waitstaff that I can't imagine that they've ever walked in those particular shoes before.

This.
When I go out for a meal, I'm not on the lookout for an opportunity to treat a server with disrespect. It's beyond me why anyone would want to.
It's not that hard to meet someone halfway. If I want or need something, I ask for it.

 

[design_mom]

I remember once when I was a kid, the server brought back my dad's change all in small bills. I wondered why, and he pointed it out that it was smart of her to ensure that he had the proper bills to leave the expected tip (since she had no way of knowing what else was in his wallet.) Otherwise, she'd have to gamble whether he'd leave a larger tip, or smaller one based on the bills that he had. So I think that it would have been wise of the servers in the OP to break down the change into smaller bills.

HOWEVER, I would have been confused by what the OP asked. If she said "I need change." I would have probably taken that as "I need [my] change. Our transaction is not complete." I am not sure I would have translated it as "Please break my $10 bill." Although it's probably a good practice for the server to bring back small bills, I think the OP could have been more clear with her request and might have made things MORE confusing by how she worded things.

 

[luvsJack]

So let's see, wait staff are supposed to just know exactly what you mean when you give them an odd amount over the bill and say you need change.

they are not supposed to do anything that makes an assumption that you are going to leave a tip.

They are supposed to make sure you have the right bills to leave the tip they aren't suppose to assume and don't know how much you plan to leave or what you have.

They are supposed to know if you need change without looking in the folio because some think asking is rude and some think looking is rude. And bring change that works for a tip that they are not supposed to assume you are giving.

And lets not forget they should know you either do or do not want a drink to go.

Lordy, makes my brain hurt as a diner much less as the poor waitstaff! I think in the OP's situation I would just leave the poor girl the 10 and be done with it.

 

[Cannot_Wait_4Disney]

There are some posters here-- not all, but some-- who show such disdain for the waitstaff that I can't imagine that they've ever walked in those particular shoes before.

Before I was married, I judged potential mates not by how they treated me, but by how they treated the wait staff and others that they weren't on their guard and didn't have to treat well. I figured once we were married and the honeymoon stage wore off, they'd treat me like that too.

 

[MaryLovesPoohBear]

This.
When I go out for a meal, I'm not on the lookout for an opportunity to treat a server with disrespect. It's beyond me why anyone would want to.
It's not that hard to meet someone halfway. If I want or need something, I ask for it.

And if a server gives you something or offers something BEFORE you ask, what then? You turn them down because you haven't asked for it?

How hard is it to understand that I am not playing games with the server?

If I want something, I ask for it. But, if before I get a chance to ask, the server offers or brings something, isn't that good? Don't you want that in a server? I mean really, isn't that the goal of a good server? To anticipate the wants of the customer?

 

[Hikergirl]

And if a server gives you something or offers something BEFORE you ask, what then? You turn them down because you haven't asked for it?

How hard is it to understand that I am not playing games with the server?

If I want something, I ask for it. But, if before I get a chance to ask, the server offers or brings something, isn't that good? Don't you want that in a server? I mean really, isn't that the goal of a good server? To anticipate the wants of the customer?

But she didn't anticipate your wants without you saying something. You played the passive aggressive "I'm parched" game. She was responding to that, which does make her a good server but it really seems like that was some kind of test for you.

 

[gwynne]

And if a server gives you something or offers something BEFORE you ask, what then? You turn them down because you haven't asked for it?

How hard is it to understand that I am not playing games with the server?

If I want something, I ask for it. But, if before I get a chance to ask, the server offers or brings something, isn't that good? Don't you want that in a server? I mean really, isn't that the goal of a good server? To anticipate the wants of the customer?

No, I am not rude, ugly and unpleasant because a server offers something. That said, I don't expect them to read my mind. I don't see a meal out as an great opportunity to belittle or be unkind to someone else....and that includes servers.

 

[Goofy_Disney_Dad]

I was outside grilling some steaks last night when my wife came out to see how things were going. I told her I was parched and that the meat would be done in a few minutes.

She went back in the house and failed to bring me anything to drink while I worked and worked on cooking her steak.

She did not get a tip that evening. I can't even...

 

[gwynne]

I was outside grilling some steaks last night when my wife came out to see how things were going. I told her I was parched and that the meat would be done in a few minutes.

She went back in the house and failed to bring me anything to drink while I worked and worked on cooking her steak.

She did not get a tip that evening. I can't even...

Please tell me you didn't overcook the steak in return for her not bringing you your favorite grape Koolaid.....

 

[Goofy_Disney_Dad]

Please tell me you didn't overcook the steak in return for her not bringing you your favorite grape Koolaid.....

It's almost like you were there...

 

[MaryLovesPoohBear]

But she didn't anticipate your wants without you saying something. You played the passive aggressive "I'm parched" game. She was responding to that, which does make her a good server but it really seems like that was some kind of test for you.

Only if, in response to that, I don't tip. Or I leave a poor/low tip.

It was an example of a server anticipating my possible needs. I don't say "I'm parched" and then wait to see what they do.

But, if a server notices that I am draining my glass. Or that my napkin fell to the floor. Or that our bread basket is empty. And takes care of the situation. To me, that is the sign of a good server. Good servers deserve a larger tip.

(Keep in mind, an average server generally receives about 20%. A great server has received 40%. Great servers also get mentioned to management.)

 

[Hikergirl]

Only if, in response to that, I don't tip. Or I leave a poor/low tip.

It was an example of a server anticipating my possible needs. I don't say "I'm parched" and then wait to see what they do.

But, if a server notices that I am draining my glass. Or that my napkin fell to the floor. Or that our bread basket is empty. And takes care of the situation. To me, that is the sign of a good server. Good servers deserve a larger tip.

(Keep in mind, an average server generally receives about 20%. A great server has received 40%. Great servers also get mentioned to management.)

I'm sorry but I still see what you did as some passive aggressive approach to see if the server will anticipate your need for a drink. But, I'm funny that way, if I was parched I'd just ask the server for a drink of water.