Do I need a help??/

[sandrabell]

I totally obessess over on my neighbor's and a friends' parenting skills sometimes. I don't know why, but I cannot stop and I think I need professional help. I know I am not Parent the Year and do not claim to be. My neighbor is a very well educated woman in her 40's who never married. She wanted a baby soo bad. Whenever she has a day off from work this child is either in daycare or with a baby-sitter. Lately I see her driving thru the neighborhood with the toddler standing in the front seat in the car! Highway or neighborhood roads, I feel children should be securely seated in a car seat. ( she has one in the backseat) We have had several accidents actually on the main street of our developement. Most of the cars were destroyed. The mother know this. I can't stop thinking of this and am extremely worried.

I have another set of of friends with 2 children that when they are off from work whether it is a day or a week, the kids are in day care. They are such lovely children and it breaks my heart. Weekends they are shoved at their grandparents so they can enjoy their weekends. My husband often volunteers to babysit for their kids and I get extremely annoyed. Why should I have my weekend tied up. Why can't they watch their own kids? I am raising my own children happily and don't expect others to do it for me.
Is having children just a status symbol for some? These are not unplanned children.

I get so angry and sad at these situations and I know it is none of my business. I love children and so enjoy every moment with mine. I cannot imagine my children in a day care so I can get my nails done, massges, shopping, etc.

 

[Bob Slydell]

This oughta be interesting...

 

[imsorry]

here we go again!

 

[imsorry]

This oughta be interesting...

OMG - we seem to be thinking alot alike lately


Wonder how she feels about children and caffeine?

 

[Chilehead Too]

I know it is none of my business.

I think maybe you have answered your own question. While I understand what you are saying, every parent has different ways of parenting. Obvously not how you would do things, but if it works for them, who is to say or judge? KWIM?

 

[dcgrumpy]

I am raising my own children happily and don't expect others to do it for me

what do you want, a cookie?

 

[hlbtimes2]

Yeah, I'd say its pretty much none of your business. Oddly, they may be looking at you thinking you should really take a break from your children now and then.

 

[Pam]

what do you want, a cookie?

Are they home baked from scratch or did you take the easy route out and buy a package from the store?

 

[JunieJay]

Why is it you think you need professional help? Because you don't like the neighbors or their parenting styles?

This is a new one, even for the DIS.

 

[dcgrumpy]

slice and bake

 

[DisDaydreamer]

Our kids are grown now, but when they were young children DW and I were the best parents that can be. We thought we had all the answers and were always ready to give advice and question other parents. When our daughter (IQ of genious) became a teen she started slipping mentally (bi-polar) we had the most horrible 5 years after that. She has never really recovered and at age 25 still lives in a studio off of our home because otherwise she would likely become a homeless person. Our son, just after he turned 18 got caught embezzeling from his work. He still can't get a decent job because of it. We have lived in our neighborhood for 21 years so I have gotten watch the results of different parents efforts. Honestly, the people I used think were idiots for parents have just perfect children (adults). I no longer give anyone advice or judge anyone's parenting.

 

[Tracy Savage]

I have a friend that has her kids in day care before and after school. they eat 3 meals a day out of brown paper bags. She picks them up and they go right to bed. She clears about $100 after daycare bill. Is it worth it? And to the OP. Next time you see this lady with her kid standing in the car, call the cops. By NOT "minding your own business" you could save that childs life!

 

[Pam]

slice and bake

I'll give you half props credit for taking the time and energy to pop open the tube and slap them on a cookie sheet!

 

[themarquis]

I'm sorry you're having trouble with your obsessions. A therapist would definitely be a lot of help.

 

[Froggyswife]

The child standing in the seat of a car IMO is not a good thing. I am a little obsessive about the seatbelt since Frog's accident. When she gets a ticket for not haveing her kid in a seatbelt then maybe she will change that. Hopefully they will not have an accident. It isn't my place to judge her though I may not approve.

 

[sandrabell]

Thank you all for your "views" I appreciate ALL the answers and different views. What a great way to get a different spin on things. You all helped me already! Not really used to writing to a forum. My cousin who is a Disney addict referred me to this site. Not sure what all the "abbreviations means" but I am sure I will learn in time.

And Grumpy.. I would love to take you up on that cookie!

 

[JunieJay]

I have a friend that has her kids in day care before and after school. they eat 3 meals a day out of brown paper bags. She picks them up and they go right to bed. She clears about $100 after daycare bill. Is it worth it? And to the OP. Next time you see this lady with her kid standing in the car, call the cops. By NOT "minding your own business" you could save that childs life!

While I agree no child should be standing in the car, I have to wonder what business is of yours how much your neighbor clears, or even why she works. She might work for her medical benefits. Or to keep herself current in her career. What business is of yours, and who are you to judge what is "woth it" to her?

 

[ckay87]

Our kids are grown now, but when they were young children DW and I were the best parents that can be. We thought we had all the answers and were always ready to give advice and question other parents. When our daughter (IQ of genious) became a teen she started slipping mentally (bi-polar) we had the most horrible 5 years after that. She has never really recovered and at age 25 still lives in a studio off of our home because otherwise she would likely become a homeless person. Our son, just after he turned 18 got caught embezzeling from his work. He still can't get a decent job because of it. We have lived in our neighborhood for 21 years so I have gotten watch the results of different parents efforts. Honestly, the people I used think were idiots for parents have just perfect children (adults). I no longer give anyone advice or judge anyone's parenting.

I wasn't planning on staying for the party, but I'd like to take a minute to thank you for sharing that story. It is not easy to share something like that because people DO tend to believe that children are what their parents have made them. That is simply not the case.

I can't stand when people think they have some kind of magic recipe to whip up a heaping batch of perfect children.

 

[DisDaydreamer]

Thank you all for your "views" I appreciate ALL the answers and different views. What a great way to get a different spin on things. You all helped me already! Not really used to writing to a forum. My cousin who is a Disney addict referred me to this site. Not sure what all the "abbreviations means" but I am sure I will learn in time.

And Grumpy.. I would love to take you up on that cookie!

A link to the abbreviations cheat sheet.

http://www.wdwinfo.com/abbreviations.htm

Thanks, CKAY87

 

[Tracy Savage]

While I agree no child should be standing in the car, I have to wonder what business is of yours how much your neighbor clears, or even why she works. She might work for her medical benefits. Or to keep herself current in her career. What business is of yours, and who are you to judge what is "woth it" to her?

There is no need to get hostile. I care because those kids are paying the price.They are run down and sick all the time. They have no family time to speak of .She even takes then to day care on her days off! If the job was needed, thats one thing. Her DH has a good job. For more than $100 she could work part time and still raise her kids herself. I work and I raise my child. DO you work and raise kids? Do you see your kids for less then 1 hour a day? It's sad. You can't deny that.