Divorced parents & child's wedding

[ronandannette]

Thanks, I missed that.

Now that you mention it though, when a bride is walked down the aisle by her father and the parents are still married, who walks the mom in that case according to etiquette? Maybe that person or the equivalent could walk the OP? Personally, I'm with everybody who says just go down with one of the ushers - it's really a non-issue.

 

[Southernmiss]

Have both your other sons walk you down the aisle.

Our 2nd oldest walked with me when oldest got married.

The bride's brothers both walked their mom down. Her father walked her down the aisle.

In hindsight, I wish I would have had both of my other sons walk with me. Dh-their father- walked just behind me.

 

[quoo]

My parents were divorced for my wedding and my mom didn’t want to be anywhere near my dad. My dad walked me down the aisle, and my mom who did not remarry was escorted by my cousin (I have no brothers and my only sister was my maid of honor)

I would talk to the bride and groom about what they want. They’re likely reasonable people and can come up with a solution everyone is comfortable with.

 

[OnceUponATime15]

Tackling logistics in a family touched by divorce is a mixed bag for almost every occasion.. holidays like Christmas etc. birthdays, vacations, celebrations like weddings - and funerals. The birth of grand babies... learning to navigate the waters and make it work takes work & compromise... but it can be done.

When my daughter got married my ex, her dad walked her down the aisle. Very early in the planning stages I sat down with my DD & now SIL and asked how they envisioned their day. We talked about many things, from who would walk her down the aisle, to who would give a toast, who would speak at the reception etc.. I was asked at that meeting to both walk her down the aisle and to give a speech. I asked that she consider having dad walk her down the aisle knowing that this was very meaningful to him and he had always done his best for both me and our daughters once our marriage ended. I did give a heartfelt speech at the reception.

I was walked down the aisle by my Grandson who was 10 years old at the time. He was so happy to be included and it was a sweet moment for both he & I. It was one of many, many special memories I have of my Daughter’s amazing wedding day.

My advice is not so much advice but is a follow your heart, enjoy the day, and don’t worry too much about the traditions - you can always start your own.

 

[Lilsia]

Now that you mention it though, when a bride is walked down the aisle by her father and the parents are still married, who walks the mom in that case according to etiquette? Maybe that person or the equivalent could walk the OP? Personally, I'm with everybody who says just go down with one of the ushers - it's really a non-issue.

I have seen divorced parents both walk their daughter down the aisle. I have also seen just the Mom walk her daughter down. And I have seen ushers walk the mom to her seat. There are no rules, it is whatever you want to do. I don't even think that there needs to be someone specific to walk the mother of the groom down. Everyone is still coming in usually and nobody is paying attention. Edit to say that I have seen the grooms parents walk him down the aisle and as they sat, he went up to stand at the alter.

 

[JenBush]

I agree with everyone saying to do whatever the bride and groom ask and not throw a fit. I have a few friends who got married recently and the arguments among parents and in laws made their weddings and wedding planning miserable. One of them even cancelled everything and just eloped in Vegas because the drama was too much to deal with.

 

[mjkacmom]

My dad walked me down the aisle, I’m guessing groomsmen walked my mom and grandmother, they got to their seats somehow.

 

[Disneylover99]

Now that you mention it though, when a bride is walked down the aisle by her father and the parents are still married, who walks the mom in that case according to etiquette? Maybe that person or the equivalent could walk the OP? Personally, I'm with everybody who says just go down with one of the ushers - it's really a non-issue.

I don't know about etiquette, but both my mom and dad walked me down the aisle. It seemed like a good idea at the time.

But the aisle was narrow and I had a big poofy dress. My mom ended up stepping on my veil and ripping it half way off my head. Plus, because they were on either side of me, it ended up looking like they were police officers arresting me, dragging me down the aisle. All in all, not a good look. Not recommended.

 

[footballmouse]

If they ask, which I think they will, I'll probably suggest one of my other boys walk me down and then at the end, and I like other's suggestion of walking out by myself. I just wanted some options if they do ask me. So far they've asked my opinion on the venue, cake and catering for the rehearsal dinner. My son knows not to have his dad near me or his brothers so I'm not worried about him walking down with me, just wasn't sure how others handled it.

 

[Minnesota!]

My mother in law was a widow at our wedding. My husband escorted her down the aisle and then took his place at the alter. It's how I have always seen it...groom escorts mom

 

[ronandannette]

I don't know about etiquette, but both my mom and dad walked me down the aisle. It seemed like a good idea at the time.

But the aisle was narrow and I had a big poofy dress. My mom ended up stepping on my veil and ripping it half way off my head. Plus, because they were on either side of me, it ended up looking like they were police officers arresting me, dragging me down the aisle. All in all, not a good look. Not recommended.

Ha! I so get it. When one of DH's daughter got married she asked both him and her step-dad to walk her together; one on each side like you describe. They were both dressed in matching tuxes (at her request) and made quite a spectacle - one tall and skinny, one short and very fat with a glowing bride in between. Arm-in-arm, she had no way to properly hold her bouquet and with three across, they actually had to scramble and move the chairs farther out from the aisle to get them all down it with some semblance of grace. It was pretty comical but luckily, only a moment that nobody talks about anymore.

 

[Disneylover99]

Ha! I so get it. When one of DH's daughter got married she asked both him and her step-dad to walk her together; one on each side like you describe. They were both dressed in matching tuxes (at her request) and made quite a spectacle - one tall and skinny, one short and very fat with a glowing bride in between. Arm-in-arm, she had no way to properly hold her bouquet and with three across, they actually had to scramble and move the chairs farther out from the aisle to get them all down it with some semblance of grace. It was pretty comical but luckily, only a moment that nobody talks about anymore.

I like the matching tux idea.

It reminded me that my mom picked out her dress so carefully, and as we walked down the aisle she was still wearing her zipped up winter coat and carrying a humongous purse. That added to our width.

 

[Kellykins1218]

At every single wedding I've ever been to, groomsmen walk the mothers down the aisle.

 

[AnnaS]

First choice - I would have both my sons come back and walk me down the aisle -

Perhaps a brother of yours - if you have one? A grandson, if you have one?

 

[leebee]

Are they even planning on this? When dd got married 2 years ago, they both looked at me like I had two heads when I asked if her cousin, who was a groomsman, could escort me down the aisle. They didn't even know it was a thing, and agreed that it was something from the dark ages (as is a receiving line, even the coordinator at the venue said receiving lines aren't done anymore). If that's the case, I guess you just walk down the aisle on your own.

 

[donaldbuzz&minnie]

I would literally keep my mouth shut and do whatever the bride and groom asked me to do for that day. It is one of the most important days in their lives and I would not say a single word to take away from that. No matter how much I hated the other person, for this one day I would suck it up and take the high road for my son and future daughter in law. It doesn’t matter who walks you down the aisle. Truly. It matters how you support the wedding couple and what they want.

I agree with this completely. No one attending the wedding will care about this at all except you, the bride and the groom. Frankly, the guests won't even notice what you all decide to do. Just keep repeating to yourself, and to them, "This isn't about me, it's your day. Whatever you want is great." Then drink a lot at the reception, and when they've left on their honeymoon buy yourself a nice present for being such a good mother and mother-in-law!

My mantra when helping to plan my daughters' weddings was, "don't make the bride cry." It worked.

 

[SandyinMonterey]

Hi all. My son is getting married later this year and his dad and I are divorced. It was a nasty divorce and I more or less hate the man. Anyway, I was wondering if anyone has dealt with a son getting married. I'm not sure who would walk me down the aisle at the beginning and end. My other two boys are in the wedding so I was thinking that one could walk me down at the start and then join the rest of the groomsmen in the front and the other could come back at the end and escort me out. Would this be appropriate or how did you handle it?

My husbands brother went through a nasty divorce after a very bad marriage. He is remarried (and believe it or not his ex wife showed up at the reception without invite) and his ex wife is living with someone. Their oldest daughter got married and everyone on my husband's side of the family was very concerned about how this ex wife will behave. She has a history or not so kind behavior. To everyone's surprise, she was very nice and kind the day of the wedding and went out of her way for everyone, including my husband's side of the family. My husbands brother and his ex wife put everything aside so their daughter would have a beautiful wedding and enjoy their special day. Please do the same.

 

[tzolkin]

At every single wedding I've ever been to, groomsmen walk the mothers down the aisle.

Me too. That’s why I’m not understanding the issue or why the nasty divorce would factor into this. Even if there was/is a traditional person, the mothers are escorted to their seats before the ceremony starts, so I don’t think anyone would even notice who walked them in.

 

[OnceUponATime15]

I don't know about etiquette, but both my mom and dad walked me down the aisle. It seemed like a good idea at the time.

But the aisle was narrow and I had a big poofy dress. My mom ended up stepping on my veil and ripping it half way off my head. Plus, because they were on either side of me, it ended up looking like they were police officers arresting me, dragging me down the aisle. All in all, not a good look. Not recommended.

I was at a wedding a few years ago where the bride was escorted by both parents down the aisle.. a narrow aisle in an older church. I was sitting with an elderly lady, family of the groom. As the bride entered the lady smiled and said oh how lovely... as the parents took their positions on either side of the bride and the trio awkwardly made their way down the aisle.. the sweet older lady completely unedited blurted out.. Why must they have both parents escort her.. she looks like she is being dragged to her death!! ...

I stifled a giggle.. but every time I see both parents on either side of the bride — I hear her voice and that phrase in my head!

 

[klacey1]

All of this, plus the father of the groom being stricken with Parkinson’s and not comfortable walking in front of a crowd, is why we eliminated the parental professional completely. I didn’t want my mom’s husband to have any sort of honor status either. I walked down the aisle by myself.

OP, know that your son may consider not having you walk down the aisle at all.