Divorce Question

[mickeyboat]

Well, there is criminal and civil. It is not a criminal legal matter as far as I know. You can not be jailed, fined, or executed for committing the act. A divorce is a civil court matter and all things that are tortious are not criminal. For example, I can sue you for anything, even if it is ultimately dismissed. The police, however, can not just arrest you for anything.

Actually adultery is a crime in SC. I doubt there are many prosecutions for it, but someone can be fined and/or jailed in SC for committing adultery. Adultery is defined as living together with carnal intercourse or habitual carnal intercourse without living together.

http://www.scstatehouse.gov/CODE/t16c015.htm

 

[Sanchez]

Well, there is criminal and civil. It is not a criminal legal matter as far as I know. You can not be jailed, fined, or executed for committing the act. A divorce is a civil court matter and all things that are tortious are not criminal. For example, I can sue you for anything, even if it is ultimately dismissed. The police, however, can not just arrest you for anything.

In some states it is a criminal offense (South Carolina.) This does not mean that it is regularly enforced, however.

 

[FireDancer]

Actually adultery is a crime in SC. I doubt there are many prosecutions for it, but someone can be fined and/or jailed in SC for committing adultery. Adultery is defined as living together with carnal intercourse or habitual carnal intercourse without living together.

http://www.scstatehouse.gov/CODE/t16c015.htm

In some states it is a criminal offense (South Carolina.) This does not mean that it is regularly enforced, however.

Huh, I thought the only place it was criminal is the military. Looks like I learned something new. Of course I think much like you said, it might be one of those laws that isn't enforced and just hasn't been taken off the books yet.

 

[Sanchez]

Huh, I thought the only place it was criminal is the military. Looks like I learned something new. Of course I think much like you said, it might be one of those laws that isn't enforced and just hasn't been taken off the books yet.

Very much the case - though I do not think that there is a great movement to get it off the books. With that said, behavior in violation of these types of statutes is highly relevant in divorce/custody matters and thus the OP's friend would be best served by ending her relationship now.

 

[terri01p]

 

[tasha99]

Well, there is criminal and civil. It is not a criminal legal matter as far as I know. You can not be jailed, fined, or executed for committing the act. A divorce is a civil court matter and all things that are tortious are not criminal. For example, I can sue you for anything, even if it is ultimately dismissed. The police, however, can not just arrest you for anything.

I used to be a legal secretary and filled out the paperwork for lots of divorces. Things like adultery or whose fault it was (other than irreconcilable differences) never came into play. Custody arguments were always presented as "this is what is best for the child", not as "mom or dad did something wrong that doesn't put the child at risk." If a kid was out in a car while one parent was in a hotel room, that would be an issue of neglect that should affect custody. Infidelity that the child is unlikely to even know about seems irrelevant for custody, unless you want to say that Judeo-Christian values about marriage should be enforced in our courts.

 

[Eeyore'sthebest]

OP - Do yourself a favor and be careful with what you sell for her at your yard sale. She could be selling marital assets. For example, if there is a big-screen TV involved it is considered marital property until the divorce is final.

My DSis had these items spelled out in her settlement.

 

[JoiseyMom]

This is the sentence that might have caused the husband to sue for divorce based on adultery. If the marriage isn't legally over (even if it is emotionally over) and she is dating a new person it could be seen as adultery. I would not start a new relationship until the first one is legally over, not just over in your mind.

I'd have her consult an attorney as not only do laws very by state but there may be legal precedent that is more relevant then the letter of the law. For example, perhaps in her state the presence of a legal separation negates the argument of adultery either via statute or historical president. I have no idea but an attorney would.

OP already stated they are 6 months into a legal separation. Once you are legally separated you can date, it is not adultery. What happened before that is different. But the fact that he signed the agreement and is now suing..well that might now hold up in court, unless he can prove he didn't she was involved..chances are he did, and the adultery grounds are void. That is up to the attorney's and ultimately a judge to decide.

 

[Sanchez]

OP already stated they are 6 months into a legal separation. Once you are legally separated you can date, it is not adultery. What happened before that is different. But the fact that he signed the agreement and is now suing..well that might now hold up in court, unless he can prove he didn't she was involved..chances are he did, and the adultery grounds are void. That is up to the attorney's and ultimately a judge to decide.

It seems to be understood that this is taking place in South Carolina. In SC there is no such thing as legal separation. Further, as previously pointed out, the actions of the wife are considered to be adultery.

If not in SC then we would need to know the laws of that particular state to form a conclusion.

 

[FireDancer]

OP already stated they are 6 months into a legal separation. Once you are legally separated you can date, it is not adultery. What happened before that is different. But the fact that he signed the agreement and is now suing..well that might now hold up in court, unless he can prove he didn't she was involved..chances are he did, and the adultery grounds are void. That is up to the attorney's and ultimately a judge to decide.

That may or may not the the case where the OP's friend lives. These kinds of laws very greatly by state. That is why I said it is important to consult an attorney in her state and not rely on our opinions that may be speculation or even legally true but only in our particular state.

 

[rie'smom]

Maybe it is me being too simple-minded but this seems to be a no-brainer.... she should not go to any meeting without a lawyer....end of story. She does not have to go to a meeting just because her husband's lawyer wants to have one. Why doesn't she just decline to attend a meeting until she can schedule it properly with her attorney? There is no need to rush this without getting proper and informed legal advice. What am I missing here?

Thank-you. Just because her soon to be ex wants a meeting next week doesn't mean she should agree. In fact, without her attorney present, she's crazy if she does.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

Am I the only one think of this :

Muskrat Love....Muskrat Suzy, muskrat Sam do the jigger bug out in Muskrat land.....

No, you are the only one. However now I have to say something because it is the "jitterbug".

Nice catch though. I used to own the 8 track tape.

 

[Momof2princess]

If "Suzy" and "Sam" were dating after "Suzy" separated from her husband how is that considered adultery? I know that when I was going through my divorce (which took a little over a year) I and my now ex both dated others and I would never consider it adultery as we were separated. Now, of course if "Suzy" was seeing "Sam" while still with her soon to be ex...thats a whole other story.

As far custody of the children I believe that adultery cannot come into play when deciding this. It is decided based on what is "best for the children". As I heard someone once say unless the children were present during the act of an affair than it has no bearing on custody.

Your friend needs to get in touch with her lawyer, and by the sounds of it she is not having much luck and I think I would be a little worried about that. A good lawyer should be available to you within a reasonable amount of time. How long has she been trying to reach her? Maybe it is time to look for a new one. Just a thought.

 

[FireDancer]

If "Suzy" and "Sam" were dating after "Suzy" separated from her husband how is that considered adultery? I know that when I was going through my divorce (which took a little over a year) I and my now ex both dated others and I would never consider it adultery as we were separated. Now, of course if "Suzy" was seeing "Sam" while still with her soon to be ex...thats a whole other story.

There are some who think that until the courts finalize the divorce you are married and therefore can not date outside of the marriage even if separated. In this case they could not be separated as SC doesn't recognize legal separation.

I don't necessarily think that but I know there are people who do.