I come here for suggestions not because of me. This is a family member whom I can't give advise to because I'm not a lawyer, nor have I ever gone through divorce or gotten myself into a situation like this. No one knows me here, or knows the people in question, thus I thought I could lay it all out here.
This family member is getting a divorce. He has merely a part time job for gas money and is going to school full time. He only has 1 semester to go I think.
She is a major boofer. They owe on a house, 2 cars, 2 motorcycles, and a bunch of credit cards. She leaves for half a week at a time and was paying for everything. The last 4 months, she had no income and he sold most of the stuff they've accumulated to pay the house and vehicle payments. Think, they have several dogs and she keeps them in her bedroom with her at all times when she is there and allows them to have accidents, then doesn't clean it up.
As I said, she is a major boofer. She has completely trashed the house (think worse than you see on "Horders" on TLC/DSC.) There is no way they will be able to sell the house.
He can't afford a lawyer. I told him he needs a lawyer immediately because she will do everything she can to destroy him because that is how she is. She claims she already talked to a lawyer, but hasn't filed divorce papers. Currently, she is leaving town Thursday through Sunday or Monday and also racking up more and more on credit cards.
I didn't tell him what he needs to do, but gave suggestions such as free consultation with a lawyer. I don't know if he should immediately cancel all credit cards (I think they are all in his name while house and vehicles are in both.) She was paying all the house and vehicle payments, so he is afraid she will quit that if he cancels all the CC's. In this situation with bills, at what point does the CC bills change from marital bills to personal bills?
Why he is stuck on her we can't figure out. My wife told him what the family thinks of her, which is she is a filthy disgusting skank b****, which is indeed what she is. She is a habitual lier and a manipulative fraud. He talks to my wife in which she convinces him to move out and back in with the parents. He then talks to the other sister (who is a bit weird in our eyes as well) and gets turned around to where he thinks he wants to work things out. This isn't going to happen. She is gone most of the time and sounds to us like she is with someone else now (which doesn't happen to be with the opposite sex.) Actually, it sounds like she is out gallivanting around with several people.
I can't say about other family members whether he would get help financially for lawyer fees or anything. It was suggested to me also from people I know whom have gone through divorce and seen nasty divorces of friends through the years that he should count his losses from the house and stuff and just walk away. I would describe the house as, it needs burned down to the ground, that is how disgusting it is. They've had it for 6 years from the time they first got married.
I don't know what to suggest for him as far as walking away, contact a lawyer, what to do about the property and what is owed, or what to do about the CC's, and along with school. He really wants to finish school and is almost done. He's doing excellent in school. He wants to reconcile with the family for the way he has disrespected everyone and blown everyone off from being manipulated by her. Like I said, she is a manipulative lier and has brainwashed him, for lack of a better description. He's gone along with all her lies and manipulative ways and has drifted further away from the family as the years have gone by. We all saw it from day one.
When my wife and I met, he was merely a kid. He was such a nice kid also. I don't know why or how he ended up with her and we all are not sure if we should have said something a long time ago (she was a neighbor and the family was well known to be a family of disgusting boofers.) Like I said, he wants to reconcile with the family, has a place to stay at the parents' house, but also will have no vehicle because he wouldn't be able to pay for what he has, and has basically no possessions of his own coming from this situation (everything in our opinion should be burned and destroyed, house, furniture, etc as it is all in disgusting shape.) He has very little income working part time in a grocery store while going to school full time.
Just hoping to get some thoughts on this so I can lend some moral support. My immediate suggestion is for him to move out as soon as possible, cancel all CC's so she can't rack up more debt while still under marital status, and contact a lawyer, but the cost problem exists with contacting a lawyer.
This family member is getting a divorce. He has merely a part time job for gas money and is going to school full time. He only has 1 semester to go I think.
She is a major boofer. They owe on a house, 2 cars, 2 motorcycles, and a bunch of credit cards. She leaves for half a week at a time and was paying for everything. The last 4 months, she had no income and he sold most of the stuff they've accumulated to pay the house and vehicle payments. Think, they have several dogs and she keeps them in her bedroom with her at all times when she is there and allows them to have accidents, then doesn't clean it up.
As I said, she is a major boofer. She has completely trashed the house (think worse than you see on "Horders" on TLC/DSC.) There is no way they will be able to sell the house.
He can't afford a lawyer. I told him he needs a lawyer immediately because she will do everything she can to destroy him because that is how she is. She claims she already talked to a lawyer, but hasn't filed divorce papers. Currently, she is leaving town Thursday through Sunday or Monday and also racking up more and more on credit cards.
I didn't tell him what he needs to do, but gave suggestions such as free consultation with a lawyer. I don't know if he should immediately cancel all credit cards (I think they are all in his name while house and vehicles are in both.) She was paying all the house and vehicle payments, so he is afraid she will quit that if he cancels all the CC's. In this situation with bills, at what point does the CC bills change from marital bills to personal bills?
Why he is stuck on her we can't figure out. My wife told him what the family thinks of her, which is she is a filthy disgusting skank b****, which is indeed what she is. She is a habitual lier and a manipulative fraud. He talks to my wife in which she convinces him to move out and back in with the parents. He then talks to the other sister (who is a bit weird in our eyes as well) and gets turned around to where he thinks he wants to work things out. This isn't going to happen. She is gone most of the time and sounds to us like she is with someone else now (which doesn't happen to be with the opposite sex.) Actually, it sounds like she is out gallivanting around with several people.
I can't say about other family members whether he would get help financially for lawyer fees or anything. It was suggested to me also from people I know whom have gone through divorce and seen nasty divorces of friends through the years that he should count his losses from the house and stuff and just walk away. I would describe the house as, it needs burned down to the ground, that is how disgusting it is. They've had it for 6 years from the time they first got married.
I don't know what to suggest for him as far as walking away, contact a lawyer, what to do about the property and what is owed, or what to do about the CC's, and along with school. He really wants to finish school and is almost done. He's doing excellent in school. He wants to reconcile with the family for the way he has disrespected everyone and blown everyone off from being manipulated by her. Like I said, she is a manipulative lier and has brainwashed him, for lack of a better description. He's gone along with all her lies and manipulative ways and has drifted further away from the family as the years have gone by. We all saw it from day one.
When my wife and I met, he was merely a kid. He was such a nice kid also. I don't know why or how he ended up with her and we all are not sure if we should have said something a long time ago (she was a neighbor and the family was well known to be a family of disgusting boofers.) Like I said, he wants to reconcile with the family, has a place to stay at the parents' house, but also will have no vehicle because he wouldn't be able to pay for what he has, and has basically no possessions of his own coming from this situation (everything in our opinion should be burned and destroyed, house, furniture, etc as it is all in disgusting shape.) He has very little income working part time in a grocery store while going to school full time.
Just hoping to get some thoughts on this so I can lend some moral support. My immediate suggestion is for him to move out as soon as possible, cancel all CC's so she can't rack up more debt while still under marital status, and contact a lawyer, but the cost problem exists with contacting a lawyer.
