Disney World Trip Dilema!

[Kagoguen]

Trips all planned and paid for, Grand Gathering, arrive 10/28 and leave 11/4/06, attending MNSSHP 10/31, now son 18 and his girlfriend 18 have decided they are not going. They found out in July they were expecting, GF says she can't go, reassure her she could still go, spoke to doctor, everything ok again. September 15th or so rolls around, they have an opportunity to rent a house, GF mother's idea, sign lease, now they can't go because they can't afford to take the time off. Family has explained to son, that this will most likely be the last time the whole family will be able to go as a group, all expenses paid, air-fare and other stuff non-refundable. I know he is trying to do the right thing, but I can't see how missing one weeks pay is going to hurt, when GF's cousin has sent them $500 to help them with their $750 a month rent, When ever they've needed financial help they come to us, we're not rich but we help when we can. GF just keeps coming up with excuses so they can't go.

I'm sorry, guess I just need to vent. We just can't imagine going to Disney without our son, this one last time.

 

[DizziDezi2]

they should go- its all expenses paid and its the last vacation they are going to have for a LONG time with a new baby on the way. I would think I would want to go and spend time with the inlaws. I know your already being generous paying for their trip, but maybe if you offered to help them with jsut that one months rent. It would be worth it to have the family together.

 

[TaraPA]

Ohhhhhh boyyyyyyyy.......this is a tough one & you are in the middle - or rather your son is! You are going to get a ton of responses on this - with a lot of different opinions too! I see flaming in the future on this thread!

Ok so they claim they can't "afford" to go on a free trip paid by you - they need to stay home & work that week to pay the rent. Ok fine, we've all been there, done that. BUT I see it as how can they "afford" to make YOU lose out on their airfare, hotel, park tickets, MNSSHP tickets, etc. that I'm sure have already been paid for & are non-refundable at this point? I just think that is very insensitive & irresponsible of them towards you (or whomever paid this trip for them). I would spin it that way - fine if they can't go but someone has to reimburse you (or whomever paid) for all these non-refundable & very expensive things. They better be planning to work overtime that week to pay the rent AND pay you back!

Ok I re-read that & it sounds harsh, sorry. I have sons & feel your pain. Any chance DS can go & the GF can stay home? Just a thought. Whatever happens please try & enjoy this Magical Gathering trip!

 

[twinspluscade]

I think your son and his girlfriend have the right idea. Really, I think it's very mature of them to give up an all-expenses paid vacation to stay home and work instead. Not many kids their age would do the same.
Now with a baby on the way (and at only 18!!Wow, that's a big responsibilty), I think they are doing the right thing by skipping the trip to instead work, and get bills paid.
Disneyworld will always be there. And think of it this way: in a few years you guys can all go down and bring the new baby with, too!

 

[nowellsl]

I know you're disappointed but it sounds like he's trying to be a man and do the right thing. I would let him make his own discision and try not to make him feel bad about it (easier said than done).

 

[jdb0822]

On the pregnancy part, my wife went last year at 7mos pregnant without any issues. Just took it slow and took breaks often from all the walking.

As for the paycheck, etc. The trip is paid for. If this is the last time the whole family can go, they should. I can already see members of your family upset with the GF and the GF family for basically messing up your Grand Gathering. I know I would be livid.

As for the mature comment, I wouldn't exactly call having a child at 18 a mature decision, neither was moving into a house they can't afford. So perhaps there is more to the story than we know. Does the GF get along with your family, etc? To use the pregnancy then the house as an excuse, makes me wonder about that.

I think they should definitely go, especially since its basically a free trip.

 

[kaabost]

Usually when people keep coming up with excuses not to do something, they're telling you everything but the REAL reason for why they don't want to go. Obviously, she wanted to go with the family before the pregnancy because she agreed to go. She obviously does not want to go now. Perhaps she feels uncomfortable around you guys now in light of the preganacy? I know that if I were a preganant girlfriend at 18 that I would be uneasy around the boyfriends family.....no matter how nice or non-judgemental they were. Maybe she is dealing with a lot of morning sickness? Anyway, while $ may be a factor, I doubt it is the main issue.

 

[Cmbar]

I think your son and his girlfriend have the right idea. Really, I think it's very mature of them to give up an all-expenses paid vacation to stay home and work instead. Not many kids their age would do the same.
Now with a baby on the way (and at only 18!!Wow, that's a big responsibilty), I think they are doing the right thing by skipping the trip to instead work, and get bills paid.
Disneyworld will always be there. And think of it this way: in a few years you guys can all go down and bring the new baby with, too!

Funny how people see things different ... I see them as being completely selfish and irresponsible. You make a commitment to someone, they pay your way and cannot get the money refunded. You go, No matter what new plans you decided to make along the way. Now this isn't a case of they "CAN't" go. If the pregnancy was in danger, or mom's health, that would be different. This is, I want my parents to lose out on their money, not me.

I respectfully disagree with the post above. "its very mature of them to miss out on an all expenses paid vacation' UH, that was paid by your family. Not some trip you won. Doing the mature thing would be to pay mom and dad back and skip the vacation. Thats part of the responsibility of making this decision. JMHO!

And Mom, Please if you do go back with kids and grandchild. For goodness sake, don't pay for them.

 

[NewEnglandDisney]

It sounds like your son is trying to be responsible, which is the best one can hope for in such a situation. He's having his own kids now. Two 18-year old's supporting a baby are going to need every cent they can get, and then some; go and enjoy your vacation and let your son do as he sees is right. He's made a huge decision to start a family so young, and that's more important than Disney right now.

That's just my 2 cents, but you did ask, LOL.

NED

 

[cybrkitn]

I think your son and his girlfriend have the right idea. Really, I think it's very mature of them to give up an all-expenses paid vacation to stay home and work instead. Not many kids their age would do the same.
Now with a baby on the way (and at only 18!!Wow, that's a big responsibilty), I think they are doing the right thing by skipping the trip to instead work, and get bills paid.
Disneyworld will always be there. And think of it this way: in a few years you guys can all go down and bring the new baby with, too!

I agree. Not many teenagers will step up to the plate and take full responsibility and do what is right (you are truly blessed). It sounds like they have been letting you know they have changed their minds and are focusing on the more important issues right now (very mature of them). Don't try and change their minds and force the issue.

Dis will always be there and if they can't go now, there is always the future. At that point they will have a little one to take. And what a joy it is to see a child's face at their first visit to Disney

 

[twinspluscade]

Funny how people see things different ... I see them as being completely selfish and irresponsible. You make a commitment to someone, they pay your way and cannot get the money refunded. You go, No matter what new plans you decided to make along the way. Now this isn't a case of they "CAN't" go. If the pregnancy was in danger, or mom's health, that would be different. This is, I want my parents to lose out on their money, not me.

I respectfully disagree with the post above. "its very mature of them to miss out on an all expenses paid vacation' UH, that was paid by your family. Not some trip you won. Doing the mature thing would be to pay mom and dad back and skip the vacation. Thats part of the responsibility of making this decision. JMHO!

And Mom, Please if you do go back with kids and grandchild. For goodness sake, don't pay for them.

Yep, I definetly see things differently! Although it sucks that the family are out all the money they paid for the trip--I still think the son not missing work and getting bills paid trumps the vacation every time.

If you can't afford to go, you can't afford to go...no matter who's funding the trip!

Kelly

 

[jdb0822]

well, something is definitely wrong if they just moved into the house in September and the GF cousin has already had to fork over $500 towards their rent. Perhaps the better and wiser option would have been to stay living at home, etc and save up $$$ for the upcoming baby. If you can't take a "free" trip to anywhere, what makes anyone think they can support themselves, let alone a baby. I think they bit off more than they can chew with that house.

 

[jjarman]

If it was me I would do anything in the world to make GF happy. She is carrying your grandchild and like it or not she is going to be a part of your life for the rest of your life. Let it go. It sounds a lot like GF doesn't want to go. Keeping peace in the family and being able to see your new grandchild when you want is much more valuable than what you have paid for the trip.

 

[Kagoguen]

My wife and sons GF, I think are too much alike, used to getting their own way, so it's like a tug of war, and my son's in the middle, that's why I've tried to make this a simple decision by paying their way, I reallllllly want him to go.

Thank you all, and I appreciate opinions.

 

[jdb0822]

I know that you already spent an arm and a leg, but if there is anyway you can tell them that you will help them with rent that month so they can go, maybe that will help, or at least bring out the real reason. I will say this, if she doesn't want to go because of her own agenda, I think your DS deserves much better. Thats just my opinion.

 

[TaraPA]

Hey Kagoguen - I can fill in for DS & GF if need be! LOL!!

See I knew you'd get totally different opinions on this. I still feel strongly that they are NOT being resposible by letting you take the financial fall for this. If it were a free or won trip that would be different. But they committed to go, you paid in full, and they certainly are physically able to go, just choosing not to. Set up a re-payment schedule - then ask again if they want to go - bet GF will change her mind!

 

[Daryl]

Everyone seems to have some valid points here. I think it would be wonderful for you to have a family vacation, but it does sound like there are some issues between you and GF. I hope you can find a way to bridge whatever gap that has developed so everyone can enjoy a wonderful family gathering. On the other hand if for some reason it just doesn't happen then as cliche as it sounds, it just wasn't meant to be. Most of us know how sad that will be for you, Hell, I wish you'd adopt me!!!!! I'd go in a sec
Seriously, it is a very loving and generous gesture on your part so if it doesn't work out make sure the rest of you take lots of pictures and create lots of memories and do your best to enjoy yourselves.
Know in your heart that if they go grudgingly, it probably won't be a very good trip for anyone. If they don't make it this time, I bet they'll be another WDW trip in the future for you guys. Maybe you'll get to introduce your grandchild to the magic! wouldn't that be something! Have a wonderful trip. I really hope it works out

 

[DisneyBlonde]

Losing someone else's money isn't being very responsible IMO, and neither is backing out of a commitment.
I was also going to say it sounds more like a power struggle than anything else.

 

[snowwhite84]

I think if your son is 18 and living with his girlfriend who is pregnant, you have to take what he says as his adult decision. It sounds like he's trying to be responsible, and part of it might be trying to make his GF happy. My BF and I are in the same boat. We both just graduated college, he is 23 and I'm 22. We're now living together and we've come across some delicate situations with relatives. Mainly, his mother is having a hard time that someone else is taking care of her son now. But if they're making a life together, they probably made this decision together, and you're going to have to accept that his GF's opinion may affect his opinion. I'm sorry if I sound harsh, but it's a sensitive subject for me, too. Either way, enjoy your trip and look forward to taking your grandchild in a few years!

Also wanted to add, yes, it is inconsiderate to back out when someone else has paid already. but that's an issue that the OP and son will have to work out.

 

[horseshowmom]

I very much suspect that since the GF is pregnant, she has decided that she doesn't want to go - for whatever reason (the fact that you've spent all that money seems to be sadly irrelevant to them).

I also suspect that your son is in the situation of having to please her now (instead of his family) which is unfortunate, because your family is getting the shaft in this case.

As far as making mature decisions, I'd have to really question that assessment considering it's obvious that they've rented a house that they can't afford (apparently thanks to her mother's advice) and are being very inconsiderate in how they've handled all of this.

If it were me, as much as I'd hate doing it (and would probably have to work hard at not resenting it considering everything else you've done), I'd give them the money to cover what they'll miss while they're gone. It's obvious that it means a great deal to you to have them there (understandably so), and the week's salaries are probably not that large compared to the cost already invested in the trip.

I wish you the best and hope things work out for you. This certainly isn't a case of you trying to make their decisions for them - it was something that they committed to do.

I hope everything works out!