Disney vacation rant

[Tink-aholic]

Ugh! I am so frustrated right now. My husband just told me last night that he is going to Disney with SIL, BIL, and 4 yo DN next month. I don't have an issue with him going: he works hard, we have DVC points to use up, he has old park passes, and he is using airmiles for the flight.

SIL, is another story.

She hasn't worked in over a decade, and her husband works pt without benefits. Their daughter is on Medicaid and they get some sort of check every month from the government. They filed bankruptcy last year and stole thousands from family members -- enough so that the family got evicted. In the meantime, her mother died (DH's mom, too). We paid for all the final expenses and to store their belongings for the past year until everything gets figured out.

But they "deserve" a trip to Disney. And guess where they are staying for the week?? The Polynesian. Full rack rate, dining package, extra tours, BBB, the whole bit.

I love Disney and wouldn't begrudge anyone a trip -- well, almost anyone. I have offered to do it cheaper for them and get them into a value and the QSDP, but nope. They say that this will be the only time, and they want to do it "right". Their daughter probably won't even remember most of it!

I guess I am just frustrated because, as a taxpayer, I am paying for their daughter's insurance (and probably that extra check, too). My husband has been squirreling away money for his niece every other week since she was born so that she might go to college someday. But what SIL is going to spend in a week will probably be three times what it has taken my husband four years to save.

I'm open to anyone giving me a little perspective so I don't feel so bitter. Right now, all I want to do is call the BK trustee and Medicaid and report them (I'm not -- but I want to).

 

[mrsklamc]

I'm open to anyone giving me a little perspective so I don't feel so bitter. Right now, all I want to do is call the BK trustee and Medicaid and report them (I'm not -- but I want to).

Why not?

 

[Disneyadore]

I just have many for you and two "advices".

First cut all ties with that family and second I would tell my husband he could pack ALL his suitcases and go live with them after the vacation.

 

[Bonnie40]

I'm sorry I don't quite understand....your husband is going with his sister/family and not you too? Are you invited?

I don't know where to start.....your situation is all kinds of messed up!

I'd be frustrated too!

 

[mrsklamc]

I don't know all the ins and outs of the situation but there's something that you feel like would be 'reportable' I think you're obligated to report it. I'm confused as to how they are paying for this as I wouldn't think it would still be that easy to get that kind of credit considering all the changes in the economy.

 

[emmakatbaby]

I am wondering the same thing. How in the world are they paying for this? This sounds like at least a $5000 trip!! Are you sure your mother in law didn't have a will that you don't know about ?
Just wondering even though it is none of my business.

 

[badblackpug]

I guess the funeral expenses are water under the bridge, but if you are still paying their storage fees that would stop immediately. If you have money for WDW, you have money for storage.

 

[gracie1]

So your husband is going but staying in his own place using DVC?

 

[Purseval]

Apparently your husband thinks it's ok. What's his take on why they should go considering their financial situation?

 

[happily single]

Unfortunately going on vacation is allowed with both bankruptcy and social security. Seriously, your husband is going without you? Although I personally would not want to go. Do you think sil will try to guilt your dh into paying for anything for his niece?

 

[brios86]

What would you report them for? With just the husbands income working part time I am sure they qualify for Medicaid. The check could be many things. TANF, SSI, SSDI... They can spend it any way they want. There are no rules about what is done with the money besides maybe no drugs, alcohol, tobacco.

 

[reagan75]

It his his family so let him deal with them. I would be upset that you aren't going! I would express your opinion to him for sure.

 

[*Seanaci*]

Why not?

Ditto this. I'd sure as heck reoprt it.

I guess the funeral expenses are water under the bridge, but if you are still paying their storage fees that would stop immediately. If you have money for WDW, you have money for storage.

Ditto this. Don't pay their storage fees anymore. If they're stuff gets sold at auction for non-payment of storage fees, that is their issue.


*hugs* To you for sticking it out though. My brother and SIL are similar to this in ways (SIL will go spend money on a new bed for them rather than buy their two kids clothes/food/etc)...though to my knowledge they haven't abused any system or family as your SIL has.

 

[amberjack]

I understand being frustrated about the money being spent when your have paid for the funeral, storage, etc., but I don't think I would try to get your niece's medicaid canceled. Her dad gets no benefits. Do you really want a 4 year old to have to go without insurance because you don't agree with her parents decisions??

 

[*Seanaci*]

What would you report them for? With just the husbands income working part time I am sure they qualify for Medicaid. The check could be many things. TANF, SSI, SSDI... They can spend it any way they want. There are no rules about what is done with the money besides maybe no drugs, alcohol, tobacco.

I think her biggest problem is that they are spending the money in a non-responsible manner. (I have a SIL and brother who when it comes to spending any extra and/or saved money the order in which it gets spents is: 1) things brother and SIL want (not all things they want are "must have to survive" items; they recently bought a new bed, I'm sure they have needed one for a while, but they also still bought it knowing my brothers car needs work, so now, new bed and one less car to transport the family places), 2) sometimes bills, 3) groceries, 4) necessities for their 2 children.

It is frustrating to see people you are related to spending willy-nilly when you know their financial situation/history.

 

[stichy]

It sounds pretty fustrating but if they are paying for their own expenses there isn't much you can do. If they want to dig themselves deeper in a whole so be it. If your neice has something wrong with her that qualifies her so ssi I wouldn't begrudge her. Her parents do need to account for each year how the money is benefiting her.

 

[luvthemouse71]

I have relatives like this..all you can do is try not to give them money(this can be hard when the kids are suffering). If they are paying for the trip then you don't really get a say. I agree with you that the taxpayers are supporting her butt, but sadly, we don't get to make welfare policy.

 

[Vivianne]

Don't feel bitter..life is short so don't let them rob you of peace and tranquility.

We'd be having a fit everyday if we realized how many people are cheating in our society. At many levels and money, education or even where people live is no indicator as to how decent, honest, good, people are.
Even at my job I see people cheating every day while supervisors are to scared/don't care. All I can control is my own behavior.

The only one you can have a chat with is your husband. Perhaps ranting to
him will give him some insight into the wrong/right of a situation and will
at least give you more satisfaction.

 

[wdwmom0f3]

First of all, they WOULD be paying some of the storage from now on and second, I would go too. I am like you when it comes to things like this. Don't go out and file for bankruptcy and tell the family that you have no money and complain then take off on a trip to Disney, to the Poly no less. That's insane.

 

[maggiew]

Your husband "told you he was going to Disney?" That doesn't sound right? I'd be more mad at that.

Granted, I have been to Disney with a friend and without DH. But we talked about it and I "asked" him. I didn't "tell" him.

Maggie