Disney and Foster Children

[yippi]

Hello All,

Thought I would get some advice from a wide range...so here goes.

We have a trip planned to Disney in August for 11 days. I have two children and we have just been approved as a state licensed foster home.

My question is this. I'm concerned we will have children in our home before our trip to Disney and we won't be able to take them with us. I don't want to hurt them anymore then they already are so I'm struggling with cancelling our trip or trying to take them with us. I'm a single mother and it's a challange just paying for us to go let alone adding other children. On the flip side I know it would be a great experience and something they would remember as a good thing that came out of being in a foster home.

Any advice would be great.

Thanks

 

[Atchley]

If you could manage it, I say to go for it! What an experience for these kids that they most likely would never get to experience. Other than the money, I wonder what the state rules are. Can you take the child out of state? You may be able to with advance permission! Thanks for providing these kids a safe home.

 

[TheRatPack]

I don't have an answer for you but wish you the best of luck. We are going through a similar situation, we just were matched with a 10 year old boy to adopt We were in the midst of planning our next trip to Disney and so I'm trying to wait until I hear when he'll come home with us and in that 6 month pre-adoptive period if we'll be able to travel with him out of state....etc.

Good luck with your trip. There is always Respite care if you can't take your foster children out of state and you still wanted to take the vacation. If the children were younger/infant age, they wouldn't feel left out if they haven't been with you for long and haven't attached/bonded.

 

[jessica52877]

Definately check the state laws! MOST states it is very HARD to take a foster child out of and IF approved for only 1 or 2 days at most. This is my experience with SC state laws.

It would be GREAT for the child though!

 

[stenickar]

Hi,
Here in Maine I had no problem bringing 2 of my foster girls to WDW on 2 separate trips. I just got a letter from the caseworker stating that the child was in DHHS custody and was travelling with me to Florida, gave the dates we were travelling. Also gave me permission to have the child treated in an emergency situation. If you think that you may have a child for your trip, I would start a little fund now. You could save your change, use the $ from returnable bottles and cans etc.... Could you cut the amount of time you go, back to 6-7 days and then use that $ for the extra child? The 2 girls I took loved WDW and probably will never have the chance to do it again. You could also talk to the caseworker to see if there may be some $ that you could get to help defray the cost. Usually caseworkers are very pleased when you want to include the foster children in your family vacation. Hope everything works out o.k.

 

[tchrrx]

No advice for you, but a big for being a wonderful person. My DD6 was adopted by us last year. She tells us stories of some not so great foster homes. Luckily, her last foster family is incredible and we try to keep in touch with them. It's a great way to allow her a connection to her past w/o putting her in any danger.

On a side note...they are part of the reason she's a Disney nut already! Their DD works at WDW and she sent our DD a huge box of princess stuff when she first moved into their home.

 

[yippi]

Thanks to all of you who responded and offered great advice. This is something I've struggled with for awhile and almost didn't consider the vacation because I didn't want the foster children to feel as if they were not part of our family.

If I can swing it I would love to take them. Can you imagine the feeling and memories they would have?

Ohio allows us to take them out of State so that won't be an issue. They won't help with the expenses though. But...if we cut back a "bunch" here and there we may be able to do. My other thought is, if Disney offers the free meal plan that would offset the cost and we can could manage it a little easier.

Thanks again, I really appreciate everyone's input.

 

[Luv Bunnies]

First off, I would ask the licensing agency what the policies are about taking foster children out of state. That might answer your question right there. Tell them you have a vacation planned and ask for advice from the agency. I'm sure they've run into this situation before with new foster parents.

If you're not allowed to take them, maybe it would be a good opportunity to move your trip up? Take the trip before any kids get placed with you then you'll be ready for your new challenge. If that's not possible, it seems like you'll either need to take the foster kids with you or cancel your trip. You wouldn't want to take your kids and leave the foster kids behind. If you could swing the cost, it would be wonderful to take them with you. Otherwise, you may have to cancel and take the trip another time.

Good for you for being a foster parent!!!

 

[jessica52877]

Thanks to all of you who responded and offered great advice. This is something I've struggled with for awhile and almost didn't consider the vacation because I didn't want the foster children to feel as if they were not part of our family.

If I can swing it I would love to take them. Can you imagine the feeling and memories they would have?

Ohio allows us to take them out of State so that won't be an issue. They won't help with the expenses though. But...if we cut back a "bunch" here and there we may be able to do. My other thought is, if Disney offers the free meal plan that would offset the cost and we can could manage it a little easier.

Thanks again, I really appreciate everyone's input.

I LOVE your outlook! I am so glad that you are able to take them if/when you can financially swing it. I am not sure how you normally vacation, but if you could swing it by cutting out some the extras I think that the foster kids would remember it forever.

 

[yippi]

I would hate to cancel the trip for that off chance my girls would hold it against the foster children even though they say it's not a big deal. I don't think they would but...you never know when it comes to kids.

We have talked about it and I was very suprised and proud that they both thought it would be better to do something else because they would feel hurt and left out if they were in the same situation.

 

[tchrrx]

Just a note...please send one copy of pictures to the DHS worker, but keep a copy yourself. Then, in a few years, check back to see if those children have been adopted. If they have, ask the social worker to contact the family and make sure they received the pictures. If not, send them the 2nd set. That's been the only downfall of our adoption; we don't have any pictures of our DD before she came to us.

 

[yippi]

I've heard that from other foster parents. I can't imagine how hard it must be for these children not to have photo's and memories to share.

We are very excited to have children come into our home. We aren't rich with money, but we are with love and that's what they need. Heck, that's what we all need.

 

[tink621]

My husband and I are also foster parents. Our first placement came to us 20 days before our scheduled WDW trip. We scraped together and took them with us. They were 17 & 8. We just got permission from their cw and she got permission from their parents. I know you don't definitely have to have permission from the family but they do ask first and if the family is being hard to deal with a supervisor can override what the parent's say. It was amazing to see the look on our fc's faces. They had definitely never been anywhere close to this. In fact they had never been out of our small town. We had two copies of pics and sent one home with them when they were reunified with their family. We were then placed with a newborn and his 12 month older sibling. We just completed our adoption this past Oct. We did make two trips to Disney before and left them in respite. We felt they were just too young to take. We didn't take our two sons until they were each 4. We are now planning our trip in May. They will only be 2 1/2 and 3 1/2 but we can't wait to take them

 

[TALB]

I am a therapist for foster kids in Illinois and kids are able to go out of state, but if the natural parents parental rights haven't been terminated then the natural parents have to give their consent. I think it is wonderful that you want to take them, but remember that they are new to you and you won't have had time to evaluate how they react in situations out of your home. These children will be stressed from the change of moving to your home and although most kids would be excited about a trip to WDW this may be too much for them to handle so soon. I would hate to have your trip ruined for your own family who have helped you plan this and are so excited. It can be a horrible situation dealing with your own kids when they act out in public, just imagine when it is a child who does not trust you and you do not know what works with them yet. I would recommend putting them in respite provided by your agency. I would make the agency aware of this ahead of time. Good luck. And a special thank you for becoming a foster parent because the need is so great. you truely will be saving a life. It is a hard job, but you will also find it rewarding.

 

[Princess Roo]

I wonder if Disney would provide any discounts in that situation? Couldn't hurt to ask...

Thank you for being a foster parent! It sounds like you're a great mom - especially if you could get your biological children to see the vacation from a foster child's eyes!

 

[TheRatPack]

On whether Disney will offer any discounts....no. I called and asked if there was any possibility of getting a discount (hoping for the 40% off) when we traveled this fall because we just got approved for our adoption and will be in the preplacement phase at that point (pretty much fostering our son for 6 months prior to the court date to adopt/finalize). We'll need 2 connecting rooms now, and they said there were no discounts available and offered no "magic" for our situation

Year of A Million Dreams isn't offering much in the way of reservations....I guess it's mainly in the park magic.

 

[barkley]

the other issue i see which you might want to discuss with someone in the agency you will be working with is what type of initial placements they anticipate you might be receiving. it's not unusual for a newer foster home to not be slated for 'long term' placements because the kids that go into those generaly have a heavily documented need for it, and some agencies don't want to 'chance' placing a child in an 'unproven' home. there's a fairly high rate of drop out among newer foster parents-they find it can be nothing like they imagined, so some agencies will purposely use these homes for interim placements (not the few day emergency placements, but the placement of a few weeks or a month until they slot the child into one of their 'known' providers who they feel is the best shot at a truly long term success). you might also find that even if the state allows for the travel, med. appointments, evaluations and family reunification appointments are such that the travel is'nt feasable (if it's a newer kid in the system that's the time when cw is trying to gather as much information as possible-med evals, psych evals-and if the parents are fighting it their lawyer may be getting their own doctors/sw's for duplicate appointments-and if the parental rights are'nt totaly terminated-which is the exception, not the rule in f.c. otherwise the kids would be up for adoption, since the goal is 'family reunification' there may be lots of visitation appointment wherein 11 days with no contact is'nt allowable).

if you can do it, make sure to find out what kind of care the fc's medical coverage will allow out of state. some of the state medical programs only provide for VERY limited care (the one for the fc kids in the unit i supervised only covered 'life threatening' issues out of state, so stuff i'de take my birth kids for treatment for on a vacation-ear infections, strepp...would'nt have been covered nor reimbursed for our providers).

last but not least-when you're thinking about having to get money together for a potential fc child to vacation with you, consider that there are unreimbursable expenses that seem to be 'part of the package' with the majority of fc kids any time they move into a new placement. most of these kids come with just the clothes on their backs-and clothing allowances are generaly only issued twice a year to whatever placement they were in at the time (and it was next to nothing-a couple hundred dollars). clothes (just basics like underwear, sleepwear, shoes, a few outfits to keep from relaundering the same stuff everyday) adds up quickly. combine that with personal need items (if they're not potty trained-diapers, wipes or pull ups) toothbrushes...it adds up quickly with each child that's placed with you-and can make a big hit to your existing budget. it's great if you work for an agency that provides some of the start up items you need-but even if they do it can be pretty minimal as compared to what the kid realy needs (it's kind of like trying to get ready to have your first child-trying to figure out and budget for all the stuff you 'know' you need-but not knowing if your child will be 'born' an infant, a toddler or an adolescant, boy or girl-and not finding out until they are actualy there). in reality the bulk of fc parents i worked with spent WAY more than they anticipated for each of their fc kids (and fc payment rates are insanely low-esp. when you consider that it's by the day, so if you lay out allot initialy but that child gets moved again a few weeks later-when you FINALY do get paid, it's not the monthly rate-its only for those full days the kid was in your placement).

congrats on doing something that will positivly impact so many young lives-it's a very admirable thing to do.

 

[kmk160]

First of all, good for you!! I am now a SAHM but before having kids, I was a social worker and worked primarily with foster children and foster families.
Just note, that each state (even each County) has very different rules about taking kids out of state or even on a vacation in state.
Because they are foster children, many bio parents still have the authority to say whether or not their child can travel with the foster parents.
I worked with kids whose bio parents wouldnt even grant permission for a hair cut and others who were thrilled when their child was given the opportunity to vacation.
You are given children out there a wonderful chance just by taking the initiative to become a foster parent.
Whatever would happen in regards to a vacation, best of luck!!!

 

[twinspluscade]

First off, bless you for becoming a foster parent!

Now, to answer your question. If it were me in your situation, it would depend on several things:

1) Will you be the only adult going on the trip? If so, what are the ages of your two kids? If they are fairly young (under the age of 10 or so), I would probably plan on leaving the foster kids in respite. For the simple reason that (depending on the ages/levels of the foster kids) it may be too overwhelming for one adult.

2) The ages of the foster kids and how many of them you'll have. One or two young foster kids would be doable, several young ones would make it tricky and could definetely restrict your trip (especially if you're the only adult).

3) Two sets of my aunts and uncles have been or currently are foster parents. The foster kids they've had have really ran the gamut...everything from severely disabled, to extremely disturbed, to being perfectly fine. Don't forget that most foster kids have been abused, and many have issues from that. So for me it would really depend on the individual foster kids/s and if they would be able to handle a WDW vacation. Maybe you could wait and see before deciding for sure whether to leave them, or take them with.

4) Another issue--are you given much notice before the foster child/ren is removed from your home (for instance, if they are returned to the bio parents?). It could make it tricky for booking--what if you'd buy their tickets only to find out a week before the trip they were being returned to the bio parents?

Kelly



























Good luck with whatever you decide!!

Kelly

 

[yippi]

I have considered writing Disney and asking if they would give us a discount but not sure who to write or call. If anyone has any idea's on who to contact, that would be great.