Ladies and Gentlemen, A Special Announcement Please welcome Fleagle,
[applause?]
FLEAGLE: I want to thank you for all of the fun we've had here in the past few weeks. I have laughed so hard and had a very good time, while I dealt with a great deal of nervous energy. Have we had a good time?
[cheers] (I hope)
Well, my friends, it is with a heavy heart that I inform you that I did not advance to the Top 10.
{shock and silence falls over the crowd}
BRADY {offstage} Told ya!
FLEAGLE: I'll get to you later, buddy!
My friends, I was not asked to keep this to myself and so I wanted to share this news with you now. It is my hope that Sunday's announcement will be a celebration of those videos that DID advance, not a remembrance of those who did not. While there are 10 people who are disappointed today, their sadness is offset by what must be tremendous joy in 10 other households.
One of the great truths of the world is that it is a place of great balance. I take great comfort in knowing that there are 10 people who got closer to their dreams today.
I once had a similar experience as a young man. My father, trying to help me come to terms with it, told me that there is no such thing as a one sided pancake. I have no idea what he was talking about.
{general audience confusion}
But I suppose he was trying to teach me that same lesson. To celebrate the existence of joy, even when you are in sadness. When you are on the side of the pancake that is feeling the fire, you can know that the Great Spatula will soon flip you over and it will be your time to rise. That's either deep, or silly, or both.
I fear I've taken the pancake analogy too far.
{awkward shuffling}
In any case, I would like to thank you for your kind thoughts. As my candidacy ends, I would like to extend my congratulations to all who entered, my thanks to Disney and Careerbuilder.com and my sincere best wishes to those who have advanced. I look forward to cheering you all on.
{music begins under... NAT KING COLE:
Smile, though your heart is breaking...}
We now return you to our regularly scheduled posting.
(The graphic is a joke... I was going for bittersweet/funny... how did I do?)