Welcome back! I'm sorry that your honeymoon wasn't all you wanted it to be, but as a 9 year veteran of marriage, let me tell you that marriage is SOOOOO much better than a wedding or honeymoon could ever be. Welcome to the institution!
As for your your experiences, I can see how they could be disappointing since you weren't made to feel as special as you would have liked. However, I really don't think your experiences rise to the level of "homophobia" specifically. Do you really think that those CM's literally hated or feared gays? Personally I think it sounded more along the lines of innocent ignorance. I put myself in that situation and I think if I saw two men in groom ears (or two women in bride ears), my first presumption would not be that they are a gay couple, but that they are friends both getting married or recently married. After all, heterosexual couples are the norm in society. Now if the couple was holding hands or had their arms around each other, yes, I would know it was a gay couple, probably marrying each other. But the ears alone would not be a definitive hint to me. If you say that the CM gave you a look of disgust, then I believe your intuition, and maybe you did encounter a true grouch. But I hope you don't think it's indicative WDW as a whole.
I have a lesbian relative, and I know that sometimes she loses perspective on how the rest of America operates, because her personal community is very progressive, liberal and intellectual, but that's not true of the entire country. Most Americans have vaguely heard about the gay marriage political controversy at this point. But I'm sure that the vast majority did not know that Massachussetts legalized it, or that Vermont calls it a civil union, or that corporations acknowledge it as a domestic partnership. I could see that being the scenario at Ohana's. You told the CM you were married, but maybe she was thinking, "Well here in Florida it's called a commitment ceremony, so I can't really call it a marriage...and maybe the parents of the children here will be upset if I announce that those two men at that table are married and the young kids start asking questions... how should I put it?".
As a non-white living in America I would say that I'm not constantly subject to racism, but I am constantly subject to the innocent ignorance I'm referring to. In fact my 4 yo DD is in a mini-cheerleading class where she is made to chant, "Beat those Indians! Beat those Indians!", which she feels is violence aimed directly at us and feels bad about. But I know the high school girls teaching her aren't remotely aware that we cringe when we hear it, because racism isn't their intent.
Maybe I'm a "cup is half full" kind of chick, but I feel it's far easier to live in a world where I forgive people for their ignorance, and let them know how to do better.
Jil
P.S.- your wedding pictures were literally the best I've ever seen.
me too! Both of them!
I loved the slideshow, excellent choice in music, the show made me choke up a bit! Beautiful ceremony, congratulations again! I'm gonna have to go buy that song off of itunes now..
