Disappointed in Kindergarten (Part 2)

[abdmom]

Last night DD came home with a "yield" slip. Basically it's something I have to sign and return to the teacher. It says she was talking and playing around insetad of listeneing. DD has been in a "school" enviroment for 3 years and has been in trouble (they did time-outs) 1 time in those 3 years.

I talked to her about what happened. Explained that regardless of the situation, you don't disrupt the class and you are never rude and interrupt an adult. She knows this.

I asked why she did that. She said she was bored. That the teacher was talking/asking about favorite foods (they colored pictures of food) and that she has been talking about this for 2 days now.

I do NOT approve of what DD did, and made that perfectly clear. But at the same time I really wanted to write "what do you expect" on the back and send it back. But that's just me being angry, I would never really do it.

Former teacher here - and mom of 3. That sounds like the typical behavior of a bored student. The behavior may escalate until she's running the class. I would study the kindergarten curriculum - as others have suggested - and if she's knows the material, have a talk with the principal.

 

[asktriplets]

I'm not a teacher, just a mom to 3 Kindergarteners this year (and former School Social Worker).

We had our back to school night last night (kids have been in school for 2 weeks). THe teacher stressed that the schedule that she has written is a GOAL to work toward for later this fall...they are still now working on learning how to "go to school" (packing/unpacking their bags, lining up, following directions, etc) and that now takes much longer than the scheduled time, as well as the whole getting-to-know-you process.

Without getting too long winded, I will say that I would be pretty upset if my kids were getting more WORKSHEETS to keep them busy....they do plenty of those already. I wouldn't mind the idea of one of my kids going down to the office to help someone (as long as it isn't taking 20 or 30 mins. at a time!). they would be learning empathy, social skills, responsibility, never mind the fact that kids usually LOVE to be excused from class to be a "helper"! ALL of THESE things, in my opinion, are just as important, if not MORE important than filling out yet another worksheet of tracing numbers (important, too, though as my kids can recognize and count numbers to 100 but still write many of their numbers backwards). I am also upset, though, by the fact that our district has only 15 minutes of recess for kindergarteners (really, only 15 minutes of recess for 5 and 6 year olds?!?!?)

I would like to think that your child's teacher has academic enrichment activities in the classroom like math manipulatives, board games,puzzles, books, etc. to keep kids busy. Hopefully, your daughter will be able to do more of those things, even if she has to stay in her seat to do it. (I like the idea of my kids being able to get up and move around).

I guess my thoughts for your specific situation are these: I wouldn't worry in the least about the academics...it's kindergarten, and they learn through play and hands-on experiences, and they are working on so much more than academics. Plus, if you look at the kindy academic goals/objectives, I bet your daughter already can meet most of them. I would worry significantly more about her boredom, and talk to the teacher about your concerns. As you pointed out, boredom can definately influence behavior, and I would hate for her to decide at this early age that she doesn't like school! Ask to sit in on the class and observe (as another PP mentioned, what you hear from a 5 or 6 y.o. isn't always reality). If possible, volunteer to help out in the classroom so the teacher can have more 1-on-1 time for those kids that need it.

Take Care,

 

[Aristomommy]

Former teacher here - and mom of 3. That sounds like the typical behavior of a bored student. The behavior may escalate until she's running the class. I would study the kindergarten curriculum - as others have suggested - and if she's knows the material, have a talk with the principal.

I second this opinion!!! As a mother of a previously bored child, I have experienced this as well. I would get in touch with the teacher and ask if you could send a book, a journal or supplemental worksheets (if she doesn't have any herself) for those times when your DD is acting out. I would also see if your district provides achievement and IQ testing at this level to determine how advanced your child is. As a mother of a "gifted child" I was in deep denial until our school psychologist showed us in black and white. You may think your DD is typical, and that may be the case, but she could also be gifted and need acceleration.

 

[I_Know_You2!]

I second this opinion!!! As a mother of a previously bored child, I have experienced this as well. I would get in touch with the teacher and ask if you could send a book, a journal or supplemental worksheets (if she doesn't have any herself) for those times when your DD is acting out. I would also see if your district provides achievement and IQ testing at this level to determine how advanced your child is. As a mother of a "gifted child" I was in deep denial until our school psychologist showed us in black and white. You may think your DD is typical, and that may be the case, but she could also be gifted and need acceleration.

Good grief. Or it could mean she needs to learn basic k behaviors such as sitting quietly...Not every problem behavior is due to a child being so special the class isn't good enough for them.

 

[estherhead]

I didn't read any of the replies or your previous post. But I had a kindergartner last year. My entire family is gifted and my eldest was schooled at home for kindergarten and then put in 1st grade at 5. I didn't want yet another child to miss out on kindergarten so I didn't school the next child and put her in kindergarten and looked forward to the fun projects. After one month her teacher called me and said she thought my girl should be bumped into first grade as she was bored & way ahead in social & academic things. I told her I was disappointed we would have another child miss this class (none of us have ever gone to traditional kindgergarten.) She said I would be more disappointed when I had an advanced 3rd grader who was bored and acting up. So we moved her to 1st grade and have never looked back. She LOVED it & now is in 2nd and fits in perfectly.

My sister has had the same issues and went ahead and put her 4 year old in kindergarten this year. It's going really well. The reality is, some kids are just advanced, some social, some academically, some athletically, etc. There has been plenty of published research done to show that advanced children who are bored act up and get into trouble. Much better to just let them advance at their natural pace.

I don't know what your state's rules are but here you can skip kids if the school psychologist, teachers, parents, and principal all agree. I would definately seek input as to whether acceleration is needed in your case.

 

[mom2my3kids]

I haven't read all of the replies to the OP, but I have to say this thread is troubling to me. I have been an OT in a public school system for 11 years. In that time I have seen "kindergarten" transform into first grade. I am personally saddened as a mother to see so many "unimportant" things such as fine motor manipulatives, cutting, coloring, pasting, tearing, playdoh become pushed aside in favor for seatwork pencil/paper tasks. Developmentally, most of these kids can't "properly" form letters (start at the top, place letters along a line, form letters with correct formation, etc.) , tie their shoes, button their jeans or punch in their lunch number the first 9 weeks of school. Look around the classroom. How many of the kids can correctly grasp a pencil? Their motor skills are not fully developed, but who cares about anything other than reading or math scores? It's a lot of pressure to put on such young children. Especially those without any 4-K preparation.

But I will also say that there is a huge difference in the cirriculum from the beginning of the school year until the end. If you aren't satisfied with the amount of instruction right now, there should be a big difference mid year.

Ditto!!!

 

[Tinker'n'Fun]

I don't have too much time right now, but I just wanted to stop by to add something.

Last night DD came home with a "yield" slip. Basically it's something I have to sign and return to the teacher. It says she was talking and playing around insetad of listeneing. DD has been in a "school" enviroment for 3 years and has been in trouble (they did time-outs) 1 time in those 3 years.

I talked to her about what happened. Explained that regardless of the situation, you don't disrupt the class and you are never rude and interrupt an adult. She knows this.

I asked why she did that. She said she was bored. That the teacher was talking/asking about favorite foods (they colored pictures of food) and that she has been talking about this for 2 days now.

I do NOT approve of what DD did, and made that perfectly clear. But at the same time I really wanted to write "what do you expect" on the back and send it back. But that's just me being angry, I would never really do it.

Thanks for listening.

I just wanted to say that in my experience, if you start off your daughter's schooling on this sour note you are setting yourself up for some major disasters. I have two children who were also bored, but I told them that they needed to work with the other students. It was a class effort. If you feel your daughter needs more stimulation, offer it to her on your time. Enroll her in dance or some type of organization outside of school. Even though you may not think your daughter is picking up on "your" disappointment, obviously she is, thus the "yield" slip so early in the school year. On a side note, I thought I had those "perfect kids", needless to say DD bit her best friend in kindergarten. It knocked me down two steps, I realized that my kids were just that "kids", and gratefully the two girls are still best of friends in HS. Good luck to you and I hope that you can work through this for both you and your daughter.

 

[Aristomommy]

Good grief. Or it could mean she needs to learn basic k behaviors such as sitting quietly...Not every problem behavior is due to a child being so special the class isn't good enough for them.

Since you don't know my child and since I could not type our entire life story, I find your comment rude and unnecessary. A 5 year old should not sit the entire day (all day Kindergarten in our case) bored and be expected to behave. If a teacher cannot differentiate education at this age, they may be better suited for another grade levels, since children come to Kindy with such different exposure to learning.

I never stated the class wasn't good enough, but if a child is reading Magic Tree house books at home and then goes to school to learn 3 letter words (pop, top etc.) is there a discrepancy? I think there is. Once DDs teacher gave her different books and worksheets, this "ill behaved child" all of a sudden knew how to sit still....

 

[sashagiselle]

How did it go for her today?

 

[dreamer17555]

Since you don't know my child and since I could not type our entire life story, I find your comment rude and unnecessary. A 5 year old should not sit the entire day (all day Kindergarten in our case) bored and be expected to behave. If a teacher cannot differentiate education at this age, they may be better suited for another grade levels, since children come to Kindy with such different exposure to learning.

I never stated the class wasn't good enough, but if a child is reading Magic Tree house books at home and then goes to school to learn 3 letter words (pop, top etc.) is there a discrepancy? I think there is. Once DDs teacher gave her different books and worksheets, this "ill behaved child" all of a sudden knew how to sit still....

Honestly my DD went into Kindergarten reading Magic Tree House while they were working on letter sounds. Not once has she ever gotten in any trouble at school. She has been told that some children learn faster and some learn slower but that just because you know something doesn't mean you can act up. Kindergarten is about social skills and learning to follow the rules bored or not is just a part of life.

Its the start of the school year and the OP has been given suggestions about testing, face to face conference and possibly skipping a grade (which can have its own issues). Personally I am sick of people making excuses for children who won't follow the rules. It seems that every child is either bored and acts up or has ADHD and acts up. Why is that?

Send a book with your child and a note to the teacher. I am sure the teacher will let her read if she has finished an activity early. There is no excuse for a child to act up and parents should be careful to make sure their children know that.

-Becca-

 

[I_Know_You2!]

Honestly my DD went into Kindergarten reading Magic Tree House while they were working on letter sounds. Not once has she ever gotten in any trouble at school. She has been told that some children learn faster and some learn slower but that just because you know something doesn't mean you can act up. Kindergarten is about social skills and learning to follow the rules bored or not is just a part of life.

Its the start of the school year and the OP has been given suggestions about testing, face to face conference and possibly skipping a grade (which can have its own issues). Personally I am sick of people making excuses for children who won't follow the rules. It seems that every child is either bored and acts up or has ADHD and acts up. Why is that?

Send a book with your child and a note to the teacher. I am sure the teacher will let her read if she has finished an activity early. There is no excuse for a child to act up and parents should be careful to make sure their children know that.

-Becca-

Thank you. I'm sure your teachers love you!

 

[Aristomommy]

Honestly my DD went into Kindergarten reading Magic Tree House while they were working on letter sounds. Not once has she ever gotten in any trouble at school. She has been told that some children learn faster and some learn slower but that just because you know something doesn't mean you can act up. Kindergarten is about social skills and learning to follow the rules bored or not is just a part of life.

Its the start of the school year and the OP has been given suggestions about testing, face to face conference and possibly skipping a grade (which can have its own issues). Personally I am sick of people making excuses for children who won't follow the rules. It seems that every child is either bored and acts up or has ADHD and acts up. Why is that?

Send a book with your child and a note to the teacher. I am sure the teacher will let her read if she has finished an activity early. There is no excuse for a child to act up and parents should be careful to make sure their children know that.

-Becca-

I would prefer to stay on topic and help the OP. But in defense of my child, I will respond. She is now 9, well behaved and does not have ADHD. She is very well adjusted 5th grader who goes to 7th grade for math and LA. I don't make excuses for my child or anyone else's. In our case, she was bored and needed more challenge. Some children are content with easy worksheets and others will act up. The easy fix is to challenge the child with appropriate work and problem is solved. Why is that a bad solution? Why would the child need to complete endless worksheets just to keep busy? School is for learning at an appropriate level for all children at each end of the learning curve and everyone in between, IMHO. As a parent it is important to advocate for the child or they will be labeled the problem child. We are in a wonderful school district now that is open for creative solutions for children and I would like the OP to be aware of the creative solutions if her DD continues to struggle in her environment.

Thank you for your positive support of children with different learning needs

 

[dreamer17555]

I would prefer to stay on topic and help the OP. But in defense of my child, I will respond. She is now 9, well behaved and does not have ADHD. She is very well adjusted 5th grader who goes to 7th grade for math and LA. I don't make excuses for my child or anyone else's. In our case, she was bored and needed more challenge. Some children are content with easy worksheets and others will act up. The easy fix is to challenge the child with appropriate work and problem is solved. Why is that a bad solution? Why would the child need to complete endless worksheets just to keep busy? School is for learning at an appropriate level for all children at each end of the learning curve and everyone in between, IMHO. As a parent it is important to advocate for the child or they will be labeled the problem child. We are in a wonderful school district now that is open for creative solutions for children and I would like the OP to be aware of the creative solutions if her DD continues to struggle in her environment.

Thank you for your positive support of children with different learning needs

Why is that a bad solution? Because out in the real world people get bored and restless and you cannot go around breaking rules (or laws- restless teenagers often go for the laws) Because its not all about Math and Reading abilities as much as it is about teaching children to be a postive part of their community. Being bored is a part of life that children have to learn to deal with. Reading a book is fine, so is daydreaming and just soaking in their surrondings, anything really that is quiet and non disrubtive.

Think about the lines at Disney. Boring- sometimes but that is a part of life.

I am not attacking your child but the way so many parents seem to come up with excuse for what used to be called simply Bad Behavior. Look around; there are children growing up so spoiled and entitled, that have been taught by parents who constantly go around school authority that the rules don't apply to them.

The OP has been given some possible solutions to help her DD. But blaming a teacher because you child is acting up (What did you expect?) is not okay. I also don't understand what she cannot teach her child at home. In fact I am getting my teaching degree if she would like to PM me with what she is struggling with, telling time, science, coin combinations, reading comperhension I would be happy to give her some suggestions. And yes kids need time to be kids but a lot of learning can be done through fun hands on activities at home- if they are having fun then they are getting time to be a kid.

-Becca-

 

[aspcamhreditor2]

Best wishes to everyone experiencing school frustrations. I think there has been some great advice ... hope some of it works for OP.

We sometimes have similar frustrations ... in order to meet "no child left behind" standards and the testing requirements, so much of the "extra" things ... whether it's behavior modification rewards or academic help ... goes to those on one end of the scale. To solve the academic discrepancy, we have opted to support work at home. You can find all kinds of activities and even good/fun worksheets online. The behavior stuff is harder ... how do you explain to your 3rd grader who has NEVER had a mark for ANY type of behavior problem why she doesn't earn anything extra but Johnny Disruption is rewarded in some fashion if he can manage to string together 4 good days out of 5?

Bottom line ... discrepancies at school are huge whether it's academics, behavior, etc. Find ways to do the extra things for your children if the school isn't doing enough in your opinion. It's frustrating ... having to do all that makes my husband HUGELY angry. However, they are our children and in the end .... it's up to us to do what's best for them ... no one else will.

 

[Nettaboo]

I just want to hijack this thread really quick and tell you THANK YOU for suggesting this site. I started my DD(3.5) on it yesterday and she really loves it!! It is helping with her phonics, which is what we are working on now and it is also helping with her mouse skill on the pc...thank you!!

Have you tried starfall.com? My kids (6 and 4) love this site. My 6yo used it a lot in school last year. I'm not sure if your dd is advanced past it or not.

As for what they are doing, I was really surprised last year when we went for our first parent teacher conference and ds was learning money, counting by 10s, grouping, etc. Lots of things I don't remember doing until 1st or 2nd grade. He started guided reading about week 4 and by the end of the school year was on an almost 2nd grade level.

I'd go have a talk with the principle. Sounds like your dd needs some extra stuff outside of the classroom. Maybe move up to the 1st grade class for an hour or two a day or a few times a week.

 

[dreamin_disney]

Not sure if this is true everywhere but a teacher i know told me kindergarden is not mandatory. If your child is advance they can skip it, you just have to prove that they are above kinder level. I thought no way! dfi's brother told me the same thing, that he's son can pass kinder and go to 1st grade if he learned enough in preschool. Anyone heard of this???
dd started school a year late because she missed it by 2-4 days but i'm glad because she is shy(introvert)

 

[bumbershoot]

Its the start of the school year and the OP has been given suggestions about testing, face to face conference and possibly skipping a grade (which can have its own issues).

It's the start for most people, but this is a year round school and she's been in school for a month now. Not the beginning anymore.

Not sure if this is true everywhere but a teacher i know told me kindergarden is not mandatory. If your child is advance they can skip it, you just have to prove that they are above kinder level. I thought no way! dfi's brother told me the same thing, that he's son can pass kinder and go to 1st grade if he learned enough in preschool. Anyone heard of this???
dd started school a year late because she missed it by 2-4 days but i'm glad because she is shy(introvert)

Heck, in WA mandatory education doesn't start until 8! So no, K isn't necessary. I never went to K in CA, I did Montessori from 4-6 years old, and started up in 1st.

But the OP might work outside of the home and all day daycare might not be possible, if she takes DD out of K and they won't put her in 1st, so that would be a serious reason DD needs to stay involved in K.


As for boredom and whatnot...I was always too shy to cause a scene, so I would just sit and read and be quiet, but I was sooooo bored in school. I remember 1st grade, reading out loud like a pro since I *started* reading by reading out loud. from the newspaper. at 2. (no wonder I had vision problems) And dealing with my classmates stumbling over "Mark in the park with a shark in the lark" just wanting reading time to be done..... Painful. Socially it would have been absolutely ridiculous to put me in 2nd (though in 3rd they sent me to 4th for Reading/English), but otherwise I would have loved to be away from those kids.

So I really feel for kids who are that bored in class, but again, as a shy and quiet kid, I would never have acted out so I can't totally understand that, and hated the kids in the class who *did* act out.

 

[Ali]

A humourous aside from my reading circle time yesterday to lighten the atmosphere:

I was reading a pretty basic book about dinosaurs to the group and I was getting some choral reading from my sped pre-k kids going when my highest and completely and rightfully bored student who will turn 5 next week after the Sept 1 cut off for kindergarten in Florida so he has to stay in PRe- K again says LOUDLY "BORING" as I am encouraging the others to point at the dinosaur and pick the tallest one. I said "Well, raise your hand and wait for me to call on you" so he did and I asked "what do you want toteach us about dinosaurs?" and he said "the tyranosaurus rex eats other dinosaurs and has lots of teeth and he is huge" at which point said child jumped up off the floor and walked around on all fours pretending to be a dinosaur. I HAD A FEW CHOICES - scold for innappropriate behavior or encouraging the "smart thinking" behavior and redirecting to appropriate beahvior with a little attention.

I know being bored in class does lead to behavior isues, but a skilled teacher can take any moment and turn it into a teachable moment and I made up a 10 second new song about dinosaurs that got everyone up and stomping and swishing their tails then finding their seats.

Teachers can do this kind of thing to help bored kids who really have no business being where they have been placed by the FLORIDA school system.

The OP will have to go to the principal now for her daughter's sake - behavior issues in K will get around the school and will hurt her in the long run in the minds of the other teachers.

 

[tmarquez]

I just wanted to say that in my experience, if you start off your daughter's schooling on this sour note you are setting yourself up for some major disasters. I have two children who were also bored, but I told them that they needed to work with the other students. It was a class effort. If you feel your daughter needs more stimulation, offer it to her on your time. Enroll her in dance or some type of organization outside of school. Even though you may not think your daughter is picking up on "your" disappointment, obviously she is, thus the "yield" slip so early in the school year. On a side note, I thought I had those "perfect kids", needless to say DD bit her best friend in kindergarten. It knocked me down two steps, I realized that my kids were just that "kids", and gratefully the two girls are still best of friends in HS. Good luck to you and I hope that you can work through this for both you and your daughter.

Believe me...I know DD is not perfect...I live with her. But it is her dissapointment in K, not mine. She is ready for big kid school and thought that was what she was getting. I am angry, because she has turned from a kid that loves school to one that doesn't want to get ready in the morning.

The OP has been given some possible solutions to help her DD. But blaming a teacher because you child is acting up (What did you expect?) is not okay. I also don't understand what she cannot teach her child at home. In fact I am getting my teaching degree if she would like to PM me with what she is struggling with, telling time, science, coin combinations, reading comperhension I would be happy to give her some suggestions. And yes kids need time to be kids but a lot of learning can be done through fun hands on activities at home- if they are having fun then they are getting time to be a kid.
-Becca-

I do blame the teacher. I think it is her job to teach my kid something NEW to keep her interested while she is in school. I think it is the teachers job to make kids that love school and learning continue to love it.

I teach DD plenty. But I am not qualified to teach her how to do math problems using the methods the school says is right (certain methods, show your work, etc.). This goes for other subjects as well. Not to mention that I have to work fulltime and have ALOT of other things to teach DD that are not academic. By suggesting that I teach her at home that pretty much lets all teachers and the schools off the hook...what are they even there for? Maybe we don't need teachers? (I don't really believe this).

But the OP might work outside of the home and all day daycare might not be possible, if she takes DD out of K and they won't put her in 1st, so that would be a serious reason DD needs to stay involved in K.


As for boredom and whatnot...I was always too shy to cause a scene, so I would just sit and read and be quiet, but I was sooooo bored in school. I remember 1st grade, reading out loud like a pro since I *started* reading by reading out loud. from the newspaper. at 2. (no wonder I had vision problems) And dealing with my classmates stumbling over "Mark in the park with a shark in the lark" just wanting reading time to be done..... Painful. Socially it would have been absolutely ridiculous to put me in 2nd (though in 3rd they sent me to 4th for Reading/English), but otherwise I would have loved to be away from those kids.

This is it exactly. If I could afford to put her back in the private school today, I would...but that's just financially in the cards right now.

These are the memories I have from school as well. I was shy and just suffered in silence as kids tried to read aloud. But it also made me hate school, so I never tried...just did what I had to do to get by, nothing more.

I know being bored in class does lead to behavior isues, but a skilled teacher can take any moment and turn it into a teachable moment and I made up a 10 second new song about dinosaurs that got everyone up and stomping and swishing their tails then finding their seats.

Teachers can do this kind of thing to help bored kids who really have no business being where they have been placed by the FLORIDA school system.

The OP will have to go to the principal now for her daughter's sake - behavior issues in K will get around the school and will hurt her in the long run in the minds of the other teachers.

Thanks for the cute story. It's good to know that there are teachers here like you. It's funny too because I talked to DD some more about acting up in class. She understands that it's unacceptable. She asked if it was ok to tell the teacher if she is bored. I told her yes, and that's what she plans on doing. I hope she doesn't get in trouble for this.

I have an appt. with the teacher on Tuesday, I hope that we can work something out that's good for everyone.

 

[kellyg403]

OP, is it possible for you to maybe volunteer in your child's classroom or maybe take a day to observe what is going on? I don't mean to come across as offense but maybe not taking what your dd says about being bored until you have seen it? At 5, my ds convinced his K teacher all I ever fed him was popcorn and peanut butter. Imagine my surprise when she felt it was such a problem she asked me. I think at 5 their imagination is bigger than the truth sometimes. It might also help to alleviate some of the anger and frustration you are feeling towards the teacher if you see first hand whats going on. It could be as simple as another student taking alot of the teachers time because of behavioral issues or something along those lines. If there is a problem you have witnessed at that point I would definitely go to the administration and start getting things resolved.

Kelly