Our issues stem from the fact that DS7 was adopted at the age of 4. For the first year, everyone (social services, school district, pediatrician) said "just give him more time." Well, DH and I are not Super Man and Wonder Woman! When we adopted the boys, we were his 6th placement. He had the language of a 2 year old Russian child, massive sensory issues, extreme anxiety and hypervigilance, temper tantrums that were physical struggles over an hour long (several times a day)...I could go on and on. "Give him time" was a phrase I HATED.
After almost a year, we were pointed in the direction of an OT who has been amazing. She referred us to a speech pathologist who, while not perfect, has been willing to listen to what I have researched and try new things. We now have a child neuropsychologist who specializes in Autism and ADHD, and has an internationally adopted child herself, so she "gets" it, and, most recently, a developmental pediatrician who convinced DH it was time to try anxiety meds (on DS, not DH!). After 3 1/2 years, we are finally on the right road forward. We held DS back one year, and now he is in a parochial school with new teachers who have backgrounds in special needs. I am happy to say, he is thriving.
Aren't OT's amazing.
We have built much of our services in consultation with OT's. and actually for a long time we were the only community based mental health placement for OT students. I am happy to say that there are many more now and sad to say that due to budget cuts we can no longer support student placements as it requires dedicated OT hours that are unfunded.
Your struggles with finding the "professionals" to listen to you as parents when you know something is not right is the very reason the parent resource centers were developed.
I am so glad you have found the right path for your son.