DIS CB=Rose Colored Glasses????

[wvjules]

There have been and are threads with people needing encouragement, advice, etc. Many times, most of the replies seem to be "rose-colored". Even a little constructive critisism ins't given, or if it is you get bashed for it. Sometimes it seems as if reality doens't even exist on here. I'm not referring to any particular post here, but several I've seen over my years here at the dis.

What's your opinion, does the DIS have a firm grasp on reality?

 

[debster812]

Of course we don't. It's a Disney site after all

I think I come here for the Rose Colored-ness (most of the time)

 

[Pin Wizard]

Originally posted by debster812
Of course we don't. It's a Disney site after all

I think I come here for the Rose Colored-ness (most of the time)

I agree. It's a fun place to spend some time and forget the worries!

 

[binny]

I dont know about lacking reality, I think people are just trying to be supportive. I think its one of those magical things that brings so many people here.


When someone is really down does it help them to say "yeah you stink but at least you found out now" ? Not usually.

What helps me at least is a " ((hugs))" and a " youre going to make it through this!"

Maybe when Im doing better you can tell me I stink but when its really bothering me I would prefer to hear that Ill make it trough what Im feeling.


Just MHO of course

 

[Serena]

If someone is asking or needing support, I try to give it. That's different than asking for opinions.

 

[grinningghost]

That's exactly why I come here - the real world isn't very "rosy" most of the time, so it's a great escape. If you're looking for reality, visit the Debate Board. I go there to get my dose of reality, then come here to wallow in the pleasantries.

 

[glo]

It is how you say something, not a differing opinion that is the trouble in most instances. Everyone here is entitled to their opinion, that is the beauty of it all. The problems rise when people decide that only their opinion counts and that everyone else has to agree with them. It is never going to happen, in a community the size of this one.

I think to believe that you are going to convert, or forcefully change someones opinion is looking through rose colored glasses. Variety is the spice of life...we should all think about that.

Oh, and yes, I agree...when people are asking for support making them feel worse is counter productive...let's be nice

 

[DonnaS]

I agree with Serena, although I do find over the years we get to know people. We learn who is always pretending to live in Fantasyland and we get an idea of who really might think they truly are living in Fantasyland.

Some people need a wake up call and I'm not saying it has to be mean or say "you stink." There are tactful ways to say things and prepare people for alternative realities in case Fantasyland ends up being under repair during their life . Sure, not everyone is tactful, but I see people called "mean" here nearly every day when all they seem to be doing IMO is disagreeing with the rose tint of everyone else.

 

[leahannpen]

Yeah, somtimes, but that's what I like about it. When I'm feeling bad or sad I know I can usually come here to get cheered up without getting bashed. That's a nice feeling that you can't find many other places.

If I want "opinions" or other points of view, I'd go to the DB, possibly (if the subject fit that type of forum).

Although it seems some people here will jump on anyone or anything just to get a rise. That's uncalled for. (I'm not talking about anything specific at this time, just in general).

I definately don't think reality is lacking, but sometimes people just need to hear "everything is okay" and "everything will be fine" type answers and what better place to get that than a Disney site?

 

[Toby'sFriend]

There are times that the CB reminds me of the women you meet in the dressing rooms of department stores

"Tell me honestly, does my butt look huge in this?"

99.9856% of the time, honesty is the last thing they want and if their butt does look huge it's an incredible minefield trying to tactfully get that message across.

It's a balancing act. Sometimes I don't think it's very nice to let women wander around in big butt pants and sometimes it's better just to keep your mouth shut.

 

[Robinrs]

My real life is HARDLY rosy nor do I own a pair of rose colored glasses.

If I wanted "constructive criticism" I'd visit my very judgemental sisters!

I come here for calm, peace and camaraderie. Sure, there are times when it's not peaceful, but that's what the back button is for.

I am very different from my personna here on this board, but I enjoy being somewhere where I don't have to prove myself. The people here are human, and I believe sometimes they say much less than they want to. But that's a form of maturity many people have not reached. I know I didn't reach it until I left my very volatile thirties, where I felt that I could rain on any and everyone's parade without a moment's grief.

Now I know the world is rough, and sometimes people need support. It's like with my son, the world will always drag him down, he needs me to lift him up so that's what I do. I try to do that here, also.

 

[December99]

Well, I guess I'm the only dodo brain here. If I see a post that I read that I know I won't say something to hurt someone, then I just don't post to it. Otherwise, I post what I feel might help the person. And if I don't think it will help the person, then I just don't post it. And when I post - it's absolutely genuine and honest and not rose-colored. I don't like rose-colored so if I think a post is - I don't finish reading it.

 

[Margie J]

When I honestly feel that I can be a support to someone I will post to a thread.

If I somehow feel that what I post may be interpretted incorrectly or I need to say "get a life", I will not post. You know, if you can't say something nice don't say anything at all.

Also, if I haven't met someone in person or corresponded for a while how can I know what is really going on in someones life or in their head. In my everyday life I can often be too open and honest with my opinions but I can also judge the reactions of others in that situation more easily.

 

[jipsy]

So in a way, some of you are saying you'd rather people here lie to you to make you feel better, rather than telling you the truth.



"Does my butt look huge in these pants?"

"Oh no hon, you look like J Lo. You should get a modeling job."

Well that may work for some people, but I much prefer friends who will reply,

"jipsy, not only does your butt look huge, it looks like you could balance a coke bottle on it. Get those things off and get on something that fits."

It might hurt my feelings at first, but once I thought about it I'd realize they were probably right. They'd save me time and money that way. But even if I chose to buy the pants anyway, at least I'd know what I was in for.

But that's just me.

 

[Towncrier]

Oh no. Not another "big buns" thread.

I (Donning my rose-colored glasses) agree with everything that's been said in this thread.

 

[leahannpen]

Originally posted by jipsy
So in a way, some of you are saying you'd rather people here lie to you to make you feel better, rather than telling you the truth. But that's just me.

That's not exactly what I'm saying. Basically, what I'm saying is... I just don't like to kick people when they are down, and I hope most people wouldn't do that to me. Telling someone "it'll be okay", or giving them a cyber hug isn't lying, IMO. If you want to call that lying, well fine then, but I call it courtesy. Most of the people here are "friends" yes, but not people who I know really well that I'd feel comfortable with telling me I look fat or to get a life and vice versa.

If I'm going through a difficult time, it's just nice being able to come over here to the CB and just get some support or hugs or whatever before I have to deal with my real life problems with possibly people who won't be supportive.

I hope that makes sense.

 

[Robinrs]

No it's not just you, jipsy. I don't think it's necessary to tell a truth if it hurts someone or like leahannpenn says, kicks them while they're down. I've found in RL, there are more like that than not. And in my family, there's only two out of hundreds!

Some people don't mind doing that. That's they're prerogative just like this is mine.

 

[Steve H.]

I guess for me, it depends on the thread in question. The way I see it, there's four basic types of threads:

1.) Fluff -- I rarely add much to those. Not that there's anything wrong with them, mind you.

2.) Sympathy/Prayer/PD threads

3.) Support threads -- these are one of the types that can be difficult, because you can't tell sometimes when the person wants nothing but support or useful advice.

4.) Opinion threads -- These are usually the ones that can get ugly, because, unfortunately there are people that post a thread, asking for opinions, but then when they get differing opinions than what they were hoping for, they often think that people are "bashing" them.

I'd imagine it's 3 and 4 that Jules is mostly referring to and I can see her point.

 

[BWVDenise]

I am an anti-social person. I feel semi-safe coming here to ask advice, get opinions, learn things, and socialize in the only way I feel comfortable doing it. Sometimes I don't feel like my threads get much attention and other times I don't feel like I have anything useful to add to a thread. But it feels pretty real to me. I don't think it is all rosy because there are times when I want to say "oh give me a break, or not so-and-so again, doesn't he/she have anything better to do?" And I certainly think there is enough controversy (which I usually avoid or don't even know about) for it to not be all rosey!
It just is what it is and I'm glad I have it. I'll shut up now.

 

[Dan Murphy]

I just try to be supportive if and when I can, and, when in need of it, I find I can readily get it here on the DIS/CB. It is a unique place and I do enjoy it.