Dis Breast Cancer Survivors Part IV - GAGWTA

[luvmarypoppins]

Laurie - A Belated Happy Birthday
I hope you are healing from your fall and wishing your mom all the best with her surgery this week

smiley - I am sure things must be hard on you. A project is a good diversion. I know my mom kept busy with church things, but she always thought about my sister. Its your heart.

Lisa - hope you are healing and that the antibiotics are helping

Cheryl - glad the pt is helpful and that you got to spend time with precious Zoe. Loved her smile in the picture. How were the concerts?

Peg - how are the issues with your feet?

Well dh is in travel mode again I guess. He is off to Calif. tomm. Suppose to go to Michigan in 2 weeks, saw his name on a list to go to China again in Oct. He wants to see about that and then he is thinking of sending someone to speak for him in Baltimore. My head spins.

But he did mention our dec. disney trip. yay!

Ds3 has applied for about 6 jobs yest. He is starting a part time recess aide job at our school. Then this morning he just got a call about interviewing to be a sub school nurse in the local district.

Today I am cooking a meal for a young mom from church who had a c section. I remember her when she was a little girl, I think her mom passed away,. She just started coming back to our church again. She also has 2 other little ones, so I am happy to help her.

GAGWTA. Thinking of you all. Have a great day.

 

[snappy]

Thanks, Maryann. It was at least a memorable birthday.

Mom's surgery to remove a 4 cm salivary gland tumor on her soft palette was Wednesday morning, brought her home yesterday. The surgeon told us he was able to remove the tumor in one piece, and the bone that it was covering was intact and only "cupped" or pushed in slightly.

He and the pathologist examined the margins before doing the reconstruction. Not a full blown test, he describes this as a gross testing under the microscope, but he managed clear margins. The reconstruction was not a complete success. The fat tissue on the inside of her cheek were very thin as expected due to her age so he could not cover the entire incision. However, there is a temporary splint in place to protect the area for a few weeks.

Her cheeks and lips were incredibly swollen Wednesday. Lots of ice and ointment on her lips through yesterday morning and she looks better. Still very purple. Brought her home. Unfortunately her temp went up to 101.2 last night so we contacted the doctor on call and I emailed mom's surgeon directly. He actually was on his way bcd from New Orleans from a surgical case down there, but called me from his car. I don't know her status this morning since my sister spent the night with mom at her house last night.

Hopefully it is down and we won't have to take her in today and can wait until we have our appointment next Thursday for followup

The surgeons both said that it was too soon after surgery last night for an infection to have developed from the surgical site. They think more likely it is something going onion her lungs, which is apparently a bit common for a elderly patient. I encouraged mom to get up and walk a lot in the hospital Wednesday night with the walker, so we figured her lungs were clear. My sister was a respiratory tech back in the 1990's so she is getting mom to breathe deeply. The docs suggested extra hydration, oral analgesic and we will assess this morning. She a was on IV antibiotics for about 24 hours in the hospital and is on oral now so hopefully she is getting enough protection from that. She is also going to remain on a clear liquid diet for a few days to help avoid infection.

She is being a very good patient. She was very worried about the general anesthesia affecting her memory problems further, but she seems to be at the same level of only mild cognitive issues.

We are happy about that.

I may try to run to work for a little while today if her temp is down and let my sister go home for a while.

It seems to me one of us needs to be with mom 24/7 right now.

The results of the biopsy of the tumor should come next Wednesday or so.

Yea! Mom just called, her temp is normal!

 

[Straitlover]

snappy, glad your mom's temp is down! Hope you get good news from the biopsy and everything heals up well. I go w/ my mohter to her oncologist appt Tuesday. She hasn't been doing so well, and I'm hoping she will start her on some medicine to treat her myelodisplastic syndrome since her myeloma has been under control. Weekly blood transfusions and bi-weekly platelet transfusions are getting old! How are you doing from your fall in the shower???

Haven't had time to post lately. Started back to work 9/15. Don't recall if I posted or not, but I did get the word of no chemo, so all I have to do now is continue on the reconstruction path. The nurse is coming this evening to remove my picc line -yay!!! I still have one drain on the infection side. It might come out Wednesday if the output slows (has been consistently 30 cc per day for the past week, will see how it does once the abx stop). If not this Wed, maybe next. Then he will wait to see if that breast fills w/ fluid or not and/or gets infected again. If not, then he will remove the stitches and make sure that's healed up enough to start fills. He says I won't need many since I don't want to be much bigger than I started (just big enough to not have a hard time finding a bra that fits, I was a 42 A and hardly anyone makes those, LOL! I am losing weight, so I would like to fit into my 40B bras that I wore but without having to use the extender on the back).

W/ the complications and him taking it slow, I doubt I'll get my wish of being finished by the end of December. So, break out the checkbook for another year of deductibles and co-insurance!

 

[Feralpeg]

Snappy, praying for a quick recovery for your mom.

Straitlover, no chemo...yeah!

Got home last night after a week in Kansas City. It was a nice trip. I saw some old friends and family. Ate at some of my old favorites and drove by my old house. Fun, but so glad to be home.

It was great seeing Kansas City again, but it was so obvious that it is no longer home. Orlando is home!

Fortunately, my feet did pretty well. Hurting a bit tonight, but I've been doing laundry and cleaning all day. Looking forward to a good night sleep in my own bed!

 

[luvmarypoppins]

Laurie - glad to hear that your mom is done with surgery. I hope she adjusts to the blenderized/pureed diet. Glad the fever is gone for her. I hope she continues to heal.

Lisa - hooray for no chemo and for getting the picc line out!!

Peg - I know what you mean about the feeling of home. When I go past my old home, its ok, but I feel its home here now as we dont even go out of state there except for business. I think we went over a year ago for a night, lol.

We have been to Kansas City once for a wedding. We didnt know town line road was both in kansas city kansas and kansas city, missouri.. Needless to say we were lost for a long time late at night. We did get to see a nice park for wedding pictures and we went to the zoo.

Well dh is coming home tomm, yeah. Ds3 has been applying for nursing jobs like crazy. The one place said, oh we get like 200 applications a week. I know he is really talking about moving to FL, since his one friend got 2 interviews in the 11 days since she moved there in the Tampa area.

I am cooking tomm. as our annual church picnic is sunday. I usually make some pasta salads and ds likes to make chickpea salad, we shall see.

I need to schedule my bone scan soon.

Looking at dec. trip dates. I think we will do a split stay between the Swan and the Yacht or Beach Club.. Its just too expensive to stay at Y and B the whole trip even with 30% off the room.

And guess what?? This is my 10,000th post so I am doing it here with all of you

GAGWTA

 

[CherylDan]

Smiley, how are you doing? Sorry to hear that you are going through a rough time right now. I'm sure your son never leaves your thoughts, and I hope that some of the sadness will lessen soon.

Laurie, so happy to hear your mom's surgery went well and that she is home recovering. I'm sure that is keeping you very busy. How are you doing? That fall sounds like it was really painful......and to happen on your birthday no less! add me to the others with belated happy birthday wishes!

Smiley, how is your sister doing?

LMP, that is a lot of post for sure! Sounds like you son is keeping very busy with the job applications, surely something will line up soon. A Disney Christmas trip sounds great, it is my favorite time to visit, even with the crowds.

StraightLover, no chemo is awesome news!

Peg, your trip to KC reminded me of last summer when DH and I went on a BBQ road trip there! We had lots of very delicious smoked goodies. Love, love, love the brisket baked beans at Jack Stacks! are you planning to hit the F&W festival? Noticed some new offerings this year that looked pretty tasty.

DH and I decided to book a trip to DIsneyLand for the end of October. We had a credit for southwest since we had to forgo our trip to San Diego last February when I ended up in the ICU the very same week. Our anniversary is next month, so it seemed like a great way to celebrate our 33 years! (Yes, I was a child bride, only 19. Crazy! LOL) decided to head to DL instead of WDW because DL just seems easier, and more relaxed. Would have loved to be at the F&W, but didn't want to deal with the crowds and busses with the scooter I'll need to rent.
Starting to make a few plans now, no need to make them 6 months in advance there.

All I keep thinking is how I would love to take Zoe when she is old enough, and then I start to wonder if I will be around that long. And then I try to push those thoughts out of my mind and remember that it is just one day at a time.

I'm feeling halfway decent these days. Doc has ordered CT scans after next weeks chemo, so we will find out if it is working. Last scans showed no change. So, anyway, I'm pretty nervous to find out.

On a happier note, we are heading to Chicago tomorrow to have some baby time! Yay!
Hard to believe she is almost three months old already!

GAGWTA!!!

 

[Feralpeg]

Cheryl, you can't beat Kansas City barbecue! It is something I have missed since moving to Florida.

Cheryl, we all should live our lives day to day. You never know what tomorrow will bring. I am 62. I've had cancer twice and still outlived both my parents. My mom had never had a serious illness until she died. Things happen. Week before last, I lost a friend. Total surprise. He was just 55 and appeared to be in great health. He had a heart attack and was gone.

I try not to look to far ahead. I want to appreciate today and am glad for each tomorrow. I also hope to be around to see my grand kids (if Kendall ever decides to settle down). In the meantime I am enjoying each day with her.

 

[CherylDan]

Thanks Peg........I almost never let my thoughts get away from me like that, maybe just a little bit of too much going on right now. Gotta keep it just one day at a time!

Sorry about your friend, you are right, ya just never know.

I also try very hard to remember that if I waste today worrying about stuff I can't fix, then all I've accomplished is wasting the day.

So I'm going to put all those negative thoughts away, and enjoy the day planning our Disney trip.......in my book, that's a pretty good way to spend the day!

GAGWTA!!

 

[Pea-n-Me]

They are natural thoughts, Cheryl. I think them myself sometimes. I know many of us do. I'm glad, though, that you can replace them with enjoying the here and now.

Have been busy with taking care of everyone. My mother turned 89 this month and had a bad fall this weekend, fracturing her nose, poor thing. DH is doing better. Mainly has pain now if he sneezed hard, walks too far, or sits too long, but the doc says he's doing great after his surgery; still in the healing phase. Kids are settled into school now. Were busy over the summer with visiting colleges and getting a car, working, sports, friends, activities, etc. Puppy is doing well. Still miss my girl a lot, but the little guy is helping us in that dept.

Reading along, sorry if I don't respond to all the posts. I'm usually half asleep, have been dealing with some medical issues myself, nothing serious, thankfully. Tired a lot.

GAGWTA

 

[Donna PA]

Hi, My name is Donna, and I don't post too much on here, but I survived it twice (actually 3 cancers)
2010 I had a lump in my breast
2011 I had melanoma on a mole
2012 I had cancer in my lymph nodes. Couldn't finish chemo because I got SOOOO sick, almost died, but I never finished chemo and so far I am cancer free.


I was thrilled to read all about these Disney survivors! Congrats EVERYONE

 

[luvmarypoppins]

welcome Donna

Linda - Happy Anniversary. What a wonderful cake your dd made! Did she take a class?

Laurie - how is your mom? I hope she is adjusting to the pureed diet.

Lisa - how are you feeling?

Cheryl - hope you enjoyed your visit with Zoe. I am sure she is getting cuter by the minute. Your Disneyland trip sounds wonderful. My dh and ds loved that World of Color show. They said it was amazing.

Peg - are you planning on going to the Food and Wine?

smiley - have you decided on a project? How is your dd and your sis?

My hip and knee have been bothering me alot. Maybe that is a sign that says go and get the bone scan, lol.

Its been cool and rainy here. I think this week end dh and I are getting a new tv for the living room.

My cousins who we met in Disney World for about 20 minutes last year are there right now. I would love a little food and wine visit. I think he will be there for 10 days again.

Dh is going to Calif. again next week but hopefully not for long.

Ds3 is now doing applications for a nursing license in Florida and Cali - one word - fingerprints!! Nothing is opening up here and he read there is a nursing shortage in Florida so maybe he is heading there??? Right now they asked him to also be the gym teacher at school since she quit in addition to him being the recess aide. He said he would do it but he is telling his friend about the gym teacher job because he just graduated with a spots management degree.
I feel bad he is getting a little discouraged about the nursing jobs here and also ds1 has not had any interviews for a business/marketing job. I think he needs to be a lite more aggressive and a little less picky etc.

And to go along with the living each day, a man who used to go to our church passed away from a stroke. He was only in his 40's and his boys are in 6th and 8th grade. Just so sad. He was a very talented artist.

GAGWTA. Have a great week end everyone. Fall is upon us!!

 

[snappy]

Welcome, Donna. Yes we are lucky to share out cancer journeys AND disney here. Glad you are doing so well 2 years out.

Mom is great, thanks for asking. We had the first followup with the surgical team yesterday.

They removed the splint and said she did not have to wear it anymore, but to use the mouthwash and brush every time she eats anything. I did not look, but they describe it looking like a shark bite.

The fat flap they moved over the incision/shark bite area is covering most of the bone now. It is going to develop more protection and build layers over time, but she'll be drinking her meals for a few weeks. At least instead of clear liquids she can now puree anything, so she had pureed shrimp gumbo, pureed cabbage, and purred merliton (Italian squash) and crabmeat.

DH had his second cataract done Wednesday. He has to wait 3 weeks to get glasses so he got a pair of readers from walmart. The nose thingy broke at first wearing. He can see far now though great, so that compensates. Working though is proving an interesting challenge for him.

My tailbone continues to heal. Bruise is gone but I still get twinges, mostly in bed now. I am not a patient person.

I hope your DS3 finds something soon MaryAnn.

I too would love to be in WDW in October. I can't figure out how to manage it though I have not given up completely.

GAGWTA!

 

[Straitlover]

Wow, everyone has so much going on I cna't keep it straight!

Welcome Donna!

Saw the PS Wednesday. Got the stitches out of my right side from the second surgery, but still have the stupid drain. 8 weeks is enough, LOL! I'm hoping by early next week it can come out. When I emptied it Thur AM, it was only 20 CC, but this morning it was back to 30. gotta have 2 or more consecutive days of 20 or less for it to come out.

I see the PS again in 3 weeks. If the drain's out, then he will start fills. He's thinking he'll only have to do 2-3 fills at 100 cc each. After all the reading I've done over on the BCO website, I think 100 may be too ambitious since I had such small ones to begin with. The expanders are 550's, but he plans on overfilling some. I would have to agree if he really did put 500 in the right side already. It's not that big!!! I only wnat to be a little bit bigger than I was, but I'm definitely smaller than I was naturally right now.

LMP, go for that bone scan!!!!! I hope this experience doesn't turn me into a hypochondriac, running to the dr at every twinge.

GAGWTA!

 

[Pea-n-Me]

Welcome, Donna! Please just jump right in!

Lmp, thanks abt the cake. Cant wait to delve in tonight! How much of your DS's job search is related to his not having a BSN, out of curiosity? I know its required for school nurses, and many hospitals in our neck of the woods are requiring it, also. Has he started towaeds his BSN this fall? That should help him. I would advise that he take any job he can find for now, even if it's in a long term care center, and when be finishes up, things should be better. (Easier than a big move like that!)

 

[luvmarypoppins]

Welcome, Donna! Please just jump right in!

Lmp, thanks abt the cake. Cant wait to delve in tonight! How much of your DS's job search is related to his not having a BSN, out of curiosity? I know its required for school nurses, and many hospitals in our neck of the woods are requiring it, also. Has he started towaeds his BSN this fall? That should help him. I would advise that he take any job he can find for now, even if it's in a long term care center, and when be finishes up, things should be better. (Easier than a big move like that!)

Yes, he has already started the BSN. He is in the accelerated 1 year program that started the day after he graduated in June. He will be done next June. He writes on every application he is already in it etc. Lots of his friends have gotten jobs already with just the RN's. His one friend went to FL and got 2 interviews already, gheesh. He has applied to LTC, schools, hospitals, home care etc. Hmm, is that in MA you need the bsn for school nursing? The one lady he talked to on the phone here didnt mention that at all. She just asked for a coy of his license etc. Its only for a sub position within the district per diem etc.

 

[snappy]

Yea, that cake is making me want something sweet.

Gosh I love cake. Enjoy your special day!

 

[Pea-n-Me]

Yes, he has already started the BSN. He is in the accelerated 1 year program that started the day after he graduated in June. He will be done next June. He writes on every application he is already in it etc. Lots of his friends have gotten jobs already with just the RN's. His one friend went to FL and got 2 interviews already, gheesh. He has applied to LTC, schools, hospitals, home care etc. Hmm, is that in MA you need the bsn for school nursing? The one lady he talked to on the phone here didnt mention that at all. She just asked for a coy of his license etc. Its only for a sub position within the district per diem etc.

This is the official Position Statement from the National Association of School Nurses. (State Associations all fall under the National Association.) One of my good friends is a school nurse. Not only must they have a BSN, they need many years of pediatric experience as well.

http://www.nasn.org/portals/0/positions/2012pseducation.pdf

Education, Licensure, and Certification of School Nurses


Position Statement

SUMMARY
It is the position of the National Association of School Nurses (NASN) that every school-age child deserves a school nurse who has a baccalaureate degree in nursing from an accredited college or university and is licensed as a registered nurse through the State Board of Nursing. These requirements constitute minimal preparation needed to practice at the entry level of school nursing (American Nurses Association [ANA] & National Association of School Nurses [NASN], 2011). Additionally, NASN supports state school nurse certification, where required, and promotes national certification of school nurses through the National Board for Certification of School Nurses (NBCSN).

HISTORY
Expectations for preparation of the registered professional school nurse (hereinafter referred to as school nurse) have evolved within the context of the larger nursing profession. In 1920, the Goldmark Report, funded by the Rockefeller Foundation, proposed educating nurses in academic institutions, arguing that this would more adequately prepare nurses to meet the needs of society (Ellis & Hartley, 2008). Baccalaureate nursing education develops better skills in leadership and critical thinking, the ability to translate research into nursing practice, and knowledge of population health, important skills not addressed in an associate degree nursing (ADN) education (National Advisory Council on Nurse Education and Practice [NACNEP] 2010; Ellenbecker, 2010).

To practice as a professional registered nurse, graduates must take and pass the state licensure exam. In addition to nursing licensure by a state Board of Nursing, some states require additional post-baccalaureate education and certification approved by state departments of education to practice school nursing. Requirements for state certification and the certifying bodies vary by individual state (Costante, 2006). Licensure documents a minimal level of knowledge to safely practice basic nursing, and certification documents a higher level of competence and expertise in a focused area of practice. In the 1980’s, NASN developed a national certification examination and then established the National Board for Certification of School Nurses (NBCSN), which became an independent incorporated body in 1991. The purpose was twofold: to promote and recognize quality practice in school nursing and to assure that certification criteria and examinations in school nursing are determined by experts in the specialty practice.

DESCRIPTION OF ISSUE
The American Nurses Association (ANA) takes the position that the minimum preparation for beginning professional nursing practice should be a baccalaureate degree and the minimum preparation for technical nursing practice is an associate degree (ANA, 2011). A number of other organizations including the Carnegie Foundation for the Advancement of Teaching, American Association of Colleges of Nursing, the Pew Health Professions Commission and the NACNEP support the baccalaureate degree as an entry level for professional nursing (Benner, Sutphen, Leonard & Day, 2009; Smith, 2009; NACNEP, 2010).

School nursing requires advanced skills that include the ability to practice independently, supervise others, and delegate care in a community, rather than a hospital or clinic setting (ANA & NASN, 2011).

RATIONALE
As a specialty practice, school nursing requires advanced skills to address the complex health needs of students within a school community setting (NASN/ANA, 2011). These skills are attained through a baccalaureate degree in nursing as well as specialized certification in school nursing (Institute of Medicine (IOM), 2011). Specialty certification for nurses with a BSN or higher education improves patient outcomes and baccalaureate-educated nurses with specialty certification have the potential to improve the quality of care. (Kendall-Gallagher, Aiken, Sloane, Douglas & Cimiott, 2011).

 

[leebee]

On the first page of this thread, you offer virtual hand-holding to those with cancer, those who love them, those who are awaiting outcomes, etc., and now I am one of those people. My MIL found a lump in her breast last January, and in February had surgery for invasive lobular carcinoma. They followed up with tamoxifen and radiation, but about a month ago another lump was found in the other breast. She's just been diagnosed (via MRI assisted vacuum biopsy) with invasive lobular carcinoma in the other breast, and they biopsied the site of a lumpectomy (in this breast) from the 60s and have found cancer there, too. She is scheduled for a bilateral mastectomy with reconstruction on October 13. The doctors say it's rare to see this kind of cancer without node involvement, but they don't think there is any. One of my SILs (lives 300 miles from MIL but takes her for all her appointments, will be there for surgery, etc.) is planning to be with my MIL for the surgery and will stay about a week post-op. I have 2 others SILs in the immediate area, but one has just taken a second job and cannot take time off; not sure about the 3rd, but the SIL who is most involved with this says SIL #3 isn't saying much and isn't taking any of this too well.

SO… I don't know what to do. How much time will post-op recovery be? How much help will my MIL need? I am wondering if I should try to arrange something at work (I work in sped in a school, one-on-one support for K-5) so I can go out and stay awhile, or if the recovery is fairly quick. I don't' even know how extensive the surgery is; is there a difference between a 'bilateral mastectomy' and a 'double radical mastectomy'? My MIL is 82 and pretty spry (lives alone in her own house, does her own yard work, gardening, housework, etc), but I can't imagine that she isn't' going to need help with all this.

Any advice or suggestions? I am rather blown away right now; I have always been close to my MIL (closer than with my own mom) and still have to break the news to DH (who is working) and DD20. I know that nobody can predict the course of events, but if you have any experience with how this all goes, I'd sure like to hear it. I guess I just need some hand-holding.

 

[Pea-n-Me]

On the first page of this thread, you offer virtual hand-holding to those with cancer, those who love them, those who are awaiting outcomes, etc., and now I am one of those people. My MIL found a lump in her breast last January, and in February had surgery for invasive lobular carcinoma. They followed up with tamoxifen and radiation, but about a month ago another lump was found in the other breast. She's just been diagnosed (via MRI assisted vacuum biopsy) with invasive lobular carcinoma in the other breast, and they biopsied the site of a lumpectomy (in this breast) from the 60s and have found cancer there, too. She is scheduled for a bilateral mastectomy with reconstruction on October 13. The doctors say it's rare to see this kind of cancer without node involvement, but they don't think there is any. One of my SILs (lives 300 miles from MIL but takes her for all her appointments, will be there for surgery, etc.) is planning to be with my MIL for the surgery and will stay about a week post-op. I have 2 others SILs in the immediate area, but one has just taken a second job and cannot take time off; not sure about the 3rd, but the SIL who is most involved with this says SIL #3 isn't saying much and isn't taking any of this too well.

SO… I don't know what to do. How much time will post-op recovery be? How much help will my MIL need? I am wondering if I should try to arrange something at work (I work in sped in a school, one-on-one support for K-5) so I can go out and stay awhile, or if the recovery is fairly quick. I don't' even know how extensive the surgery is; is there a difference between a 'bilateral mastectomy' and a 'double radical mastectomy'? My MIL is 82 and pretty spry (lives alone in her own house, does her own yard work, gardening, housework, etc), but I can't imagine that she isn't' going to need help with all this.

Any advice or suggestions? I am rather blown away right now; I have always been close to my MIL (closer than with my own mom) and still have to break the news to DH (who is working) and DD20. I know that nobody can predict the course of events, but if you have any experience with how this all goes, I'd sure like to hear it. I guess I just need some hand-holding.

Hi Leebee, and welcome. What a caring DIL you are.

I'm glad you mentioned her age and functional status.

So I think a good 3-4 weeks is the general rule to feeling "back to human". That's if everything goes well. One of the biggest issues is the drains that are placed in incisions. She won't be able to bathe, so will need assistance with that, and dressing, ADLs and cooking/cleaning, etc. Pain also plays a part - it is very sore to lift your arms. Additionally, special exercises need to be done to re-gain movement and prevent lymphedema, etc.

Given her age, it might be a little more difficult for her overall, than a younger person. It's great that she has four caring women to help her, though, and I'm sure friends and neighbors will also be more than willing to help her, too. Be specific about what you want help with: meals are good, and there is some specialty clothing out there specifically for those undergoing mastectomy.

My thought (as an RN) would also wander to whether they will want to do chemo with her, given this new diagnosis. I guess you'll cross that bridge if you come to it, but that would entail a whole other set of recommendations. Hopefully that won't be necessary.

I, personally, did not have a mastectomy, so that's about all I can offer. (I am speaking as a nurse who takes care of people undergoing procedures, and daughter to an 89 yr old little lady.) I also know lots of people who've had this surgery (my cousin, for one, at the same time I had BC), and have read lots here and in BC literature over the years, but I'm sure others who had the surgery themselves will also chime in. HTH, as a start.

PS remember that for people of any age, getting a cancer diagnosis is difficult. For people in their 80's, it can be even more so. I mean, she probably thought she was done, and going to be fine, and now she's hit with a whole other set of problems. People that age begin to question whether they should go through aggressive treatment, etc. (And believe me, many want to, but some do not. It's really individual.) My point is that emotionally, she may need some support, and that support may not be best coming from family, kwim? She should be free to talk about her deepest fears and thoughts without anyone telling her "she'll be fine" and how she "should" proceed, etc. I experienced that myself even at a much younger age - it was maddening. I needed to talk about the possibility of my death, as a mom to young children (being a nurse doesn't help here, because we see and know all the bad things that can happen). Nobody around me really wanted to talk with me about anything like that, but I needed to in order to "grieve my loss" (health, expectations of living a long life, even taking grandchildren for granted, etc.) before I could get on with the business of surviving and living my life. Hope that makes sense. Anyway, there are cancer support groups out there. It would be helpful for you to seek them out for her. She may not want to go right now, but have the info handy in case she wants it when she needs it.

 

[Feralpeg]

Leebee, Welcome. I agree with the above advice. Everyone recovers differently. Please know that we are here for you!