Pea-n-Me
DIS Legend
- Joined
- Jul 18, 2004
- Messages
- 41,447
Hey there jackskellingtonsgirl, so we meet again. 
I'm sorry to hear about your mother. I'll try to help you get a sense of what to expect even though there's not a lot of information to go on just yet.
Many women who have "larger" tumors (usually > 3cm) have chemo first in order to shrink the tumor. How many doses and what type of chemotherapeutic agents depend on unique features of the cancer, such as whether it's gone into the lymph nodes, whether or not it's driven by hormones, Her2Neu status, etc. Chemo is designed to kill any stray cells which may have gotten away from the original site and want to harbor and grow elsewhere in the body. Radiation kills local cancer cells around the breast and lymph nodes after surgery. One thing about BC is that every case is very unique and her plan of care will be driven by these unique features.
Chemo will more than likely take a toll on her physically. She will likely be very fatigued, run down and prone to infection and other issues. She will lose her hair. She may have to have a port placed for chemo. She will have to go for many doctors appointments for tests, staging, chemo, etc. And having BC is an emotional roller coaster. A lot of strong emotions come up, and being a single parent I'm sure your mother will have lots of thoughts about your sister, including who will care for her if she cannot. Reassurance about that might help your mother feel better if you think that's something you can commit to. (If not, maybe you can help her work out a plan so she doesn't have to fret over it.) She should also have a plan in place for where your sister will stay if/when your mother has to be hospitalized (planned and unplanned) - probably your aunt would be helpful with that so your sister can keep school and such as close to normal as possible.
Women diagnosed with BC who have children tend to worry most about the children; sometimes even more so than themselves. I know it's a subject we've all talked about here before. She will need support emotionally and possibly some help with things around the house, with meals, rides, etc. I assume she's working which can present some challenges too. She may feel the need to "get her affairs in order" if she hasn't already, especially where your father is deceased.
There's a good website you can peruse which can give you a sense of what to expect www.breastcancer.org. One warning - reading stuff about BC can be downright frightening, so don't overdo it. If you google WCVB TV in Boston there is a reporter there, Kelly Tuthill, who chronicled her story of having BC last year if you're interested in reading someone's experiences.
As for yourself, let your doc know in order to update your history. You said you're getting mamms so that's good; make sure you do your self exams monthly (about 5 days after your period ends) too. Down the road there could be some talk about gene testing, but that would be a ways away.
The good news about BC is that more women are surviving it than ever before. It's terrifying at first because naturally, you think you're going to die. And for some, unfortunately, it is a possibility. But the survival rates are pretty good now and there's lots of reasons to be very hopeful that she'll be ok. FWIW, I go out with a group of women I met through a friend and all of them had tumors > 3cm and all of them are doing just fine, and it's been about 4-5 years for them.
Glad you came by. I'm sure you'll hear from others. Let us know what else you need.
Tell oogieboogieman I said hello.
I'm sorry to hear about your mother. I'll try to help you get a sense of what to expect even though there's not a lot of information to go on just yet. Many women who have "larger" tumors (usually > 3cm) have chemo first in order to shrink the tumor. How many doses and what type of chemotherapeutic agents depend on unique features of the cancer, such as whether it's gone into the lymph nodes, whether or not it's driven by hormones, Her2Neu status, etc. Chemo is designed to kill any stray cells which may have gotten away from the original site and want to harbor and grow elsewhere in the body. Radiation kills local cancer cells around the breast and lymph nodes after surgery. One thing about BC is that every case is very unique and her plan of care will be driven by these unique features.
Chemo will more than likely take a toll on her physically. She will likely be very fatigued, run down and prone to infection and other issues. She will lose her hair. She may have to have a port placed for chemo. She will have to go for many doctors appointments for tests, staging, chemo, etc. And having BC is an emotional roller coaster. A lot of strong emotions come up, and being a single parent I'm sure your mother will have lots of thoughts about your sister, including who will care for her if she cannot. Reassurance about that might help your mother feel better if you think that's something you can commit to. (If not, maybe you can help her work out a plan so she doesn't have to fret over it.) She should also have a plan in place for where your sister will stay if/when your mother has to be hospitalized (planned and unplanned) - probably your aunt would be helpful with that so your sister can keep school and such as close to normal as possible.
Women diagnosed with BC who have children tend to worry most about the children; sometimes even more so than themselves. I know it's a subject we've all talked about here before. She will need support emotionally and possibly some help with things around the house, with meals, rides, etc. I assume she's working which can present some challenges too. She may feel the need to "get her affairs in order" if she hasn't already, especially where your father is deceased.
There's a good website you can peruse which can give you a sense of what to expect www.breastcancer.org. One warning - reading stuff about BC can be downright frightening, so don't overdo it. If you google WCVB TV in Boston there is a reporter there, Kelly Tuthill, who chronicled her story of having BC last year if you're interested in reading someone's experiences.
As for yourself, let your doc know in order to update your history. You said you're getting mamms so that's good; make sure you do your self exams monthly (about 5 days after your period ends) too. Down the road there could be some talk about gene testing, but that would be a ways away.
The good news about BC is that more women are surviving it than ever before. It's terrifying at first because naturally, you think you're going to die. And for some, unfortunately, it is a possibility. But the survival rates are pretty good now and there's lots of reasons to be very hopeful that she'll be ok. FWIW, I go out with a group of women I met through a friend and all of them had tumors > 3cm and all of them are doing just fine, and it's been about 4-5 years for them.
Glad you came by. I'm sure you'll hear from others. Let us know what else you need.
Tell oogieboogieman I said hello.
we will be diligent and pro-active.
We have another sister, but she is only 27 and she has 2 toddlers. She is not going to be able to handle a 16 year old and all of the emotional, legal, financial, and logistical issues that will come with her if something happens to our mom. So there's that.
It is hard to wait. Until she knows exactly what sort of creature this tumor is we don't know much at all. I got tickets to go up there next weekend with DS. I don't have any vacation time left, but my boss said I can take off next Friday. She will know at least a little bit more by then, and hopefully DS can spend a little time with her. My cousin said my aunt offered to go to the oncologist with my mom and my mom said no. We are going to keep pushing it, because I don't think the first oncology visit is an "alone" sort of endeavor.
But on the bright side, I haven't noticed any bone pain! 
Seriously though, I'll take these minor side effects any day as long as the drug does it's job. And even when I consider the more serious (and life threating) side effects, it still seems like the lesser of two evils.
Having all the information and learning about all the options will be very helpful to your mom. Hang in there 
I'm seriously thinking about another mastectomy just to head off any future problems in my remaining breast. Not bleeding before I'm shot, just giving it some thought so I can bring it up at my next appt. with the oncologist.
