Dis Breast Cancer Survivors - GAGWTA!

[Pea-n-Me]

Wow, I guess you can say we're having a good week!!

http://my.webmd.com/content/Article/105/107999.htm

 

[snappy]

Wow, a drug that lowers cholesterol and BC risk! Sounds like the new wonder drug.

 

[JoannaOhio]

Wow, a drug that lowers cholesterol and BC risk! Sounds like the new wonder drug.

I had also heard that Lipitor may prevent or at least slow the onset of Alzheimers. I'm taking Vytorin, and I'm going to ask my doc if she's heard anything about that.

 

[NHAnn]

Hello everyone....
Tomorrow it will be one week from my diagnosis day
Been doing a lot of thinking and reading and talking.......
had a lot of good moments and a lot of bad ones too!
There are times that I am full of calm and resolve and stregth and optimism. Lots of people telling me that I have a great positive attitude. Then there are times I am full of doom and gloom and fear and I dont' want to let anyone know....especially those to whom it is important that I show a postive outlook.

I get the oddest feeling at times when someone who doesn't know about the diagnosis, or a stranger, casually says "how are you?" or "what's new?"

I know that the type of bc I have is effectively and realtively easily treated
....but at times I am fearful of every little twinge in my body that is NOT in my right breast. For example: for the last couple of months I've been having what I think is a muscular issue with my left arm/shoulder. Dont' remember doing anything to it, but it sort of twinges or aches if I over-reach, sleep the wrong way on that side, sort of a limited range of motion thing. I was chalking it up to getting old...and it has been improving slowly. So the other night after one of my too-long reading sessions, I had myself convinced that I already had bc on the other side and it had gotten into my arm bones and shoulder blades Then I get on my OWN case and slap myself in the head saying "You DUMMY!! You are supposed to be thinking POSITIVE!!" So then I try to focus on the postives about my diagnosis and treatment options and planning a Disney trip for Christmas, and get back to the postive thinking mode! siiiiiiighhhhh I think I need some positive thinking visualization tapes...anyone have any recommendations? Maybe I should ask the "Complementary Care Coordiantor" at the hospital? I used a stress reduction/relaxation tape to get to sleep when I had some insomnia after my hsterectomy...and it worked great!

My ears did perk up listening to national news tonight....ABC's medical correspondent "Dr Tim Johnson" reported on tonight that 2 studies released today showed that low fat diets significantly reduced recurrence rates of breast cancer and colon cancer, he said it is exciting and interesting findings, that a fairly simple and low cost change like that has a positive measurable impact on recurrence.


Have a great evening everyone!!

 

[Feralpeg]

Hello everyone....
I....but at times I am fearful of every little twinge in my body that is NOT in my right breast. For example: for the last couple of months I've been having what I think is a muscular issue with my left arm/shoulder. Dont' remember doing anything to it, but it sort of twinges or aches if I over-reach, sleep the wrong way on that side, sort of a limited range of motion thing. I was chalking it up to getting old...and it has been improving slowly. So the other night after one of my too-long reading sessions, I had myself convinced that I already had bc on the other side and it had gotten into my arm bones and shoulder blades

That is so to be expected. It's been 21 years since my breast cancer and I still do it. Everytime I feel something different, I'm just sure I have something terrible. My family has given me a hard time for running to the doctor over little things. Sorry, that's what happens when your mortality slaps you upside the head. Please don't be hard on yourself.

 

[Shugardrawers]

Well, I don't have breast cancer, I have primary peritoneal cancer, which would be ovarian cancer if I hadn't had a hysterctomy many years ago. Can I still be in the sisterhood?

I have been give a less than 20% survival rate for this recurrance (2nd) and start chemo on June 3rd. I'm only waiting that long because I had already planned to go spend some time with DH (he's working out of state) and the Dr said I could wait that long but that's it. I'm terrified of going bald and being laughed at. I am not necessarily vain, as much as I have strong ideas of how a lady looks like a lady and what is proper in public. I can't imagine being seen with no hair in public although I don't have a problem seeing other women who've lost their hair. The thing is, they aren't me. They don't have to live up to my standards. The last time I went through this my hair thinned a lot but it didn't all fall out. This time, I'm on new meds and the Dr says it's most likely I'll lose it all. I'm curious, did anyone who went through chemo lose ALL their hair, body hair included? I mean, will I still need to shave my legs? Will I need to draw on old lady eyebrows? Will I be nekkid as the day I was born "down there"?

I'm worried, stressed and scared poopless. I appreciate my family being supportive and positive but sometimes I just want them to acknowledge that I probably will not survive this too. I want to be ready you know? Hope for the best and prepare for the worst.

Alright, rant over. Hope you'll take me in although I don't have hootie cancer, only a bit south of there.

 

[NHAnn]

Thanks peg!

shugardrawers~ I know there are ladies here who will answer you about the hair loss question. And of course you are welcome here

 

[snappy]

Glad you joined us, shugardrawers. I can't help on your hair question, but I bet someone else here can.

 

[Cruise04]

shugardrawers!!!!!!! It took my mom a LONG time to realize cancer was with her for the rest of her life. Once she realized that and let go I think life was much easier for her - or more real. And it made me feel easier for her - I kept a huge burden for her for a long time. I had come to realization when she was rediagnosed that this was how she was going to die. I was like it made it okay for some strange reason. I wish the same for your family eventually - give them time. It will hit them, trust me it will be hard but it will hit them. You will be in my prayers for as long as you need it.

I also just read about the recent study with the meds linked to cholesterol and BC - hopefully some good news. And a new drug has been found to help with a form of leukemia (I believe that's what it was) - patients taking the drug had the cells basically disappear and go into "deep remission" they are touting. Hope this stays true for those patients!!!!

Had my annual exam today, I am always worried and, Ann - I too have felt worried with every twinge in either breast since my mom's diagnosis; it's hard to get that part out of your mind, that you are sure it HAS to be something. If I had a dollar for every time I called my gyn to ask if I should have it checked out I'd probably be able to go stay at the Grand Floridian for a night. I've gotten better though. I did feel a lump in the last couple of weeks, very small, and she said it's not substantive enough - and it's tender like my breasts get when I'm menstruating. She told me to check it again in a week and if it's still there to call her.

I do have a question if you don't mind, when your lumps have been founded are they tender or do they hurt or can you only just feel the lump with no sensitivity so to speak? I know people with fibroids have said those tend to hurt and others with bc have said their lump didn't hurt at all.

 

[Pea-n-Me]

Hi Shugardrawers, glad you found your way over here. Of course you can be in the sisterhood. We're all survivors here, the type of cancer doesn't really matter.

(Geez, whenever I read the posts on this thread I have so many ideas, it's sometimes hard to organize my thoughts).

Anyway, yes, I lost all my hair and I have to say that was one of the hardest things for me about the whole experience. I'd catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror in the middle of the night and couldn't believe it was me. I always wore a nice wig out in public, but in the house it was cotton turbans for comfort. (The process of the hair coming out is uncomfortable on your head). My family and most of my friends saw me bald and nobody laughed (with the exception of my brother but I think it was his way of hiding his shock and sadness). My son used to rub my head and tell me I still looked beautiful. Ditto for DH. The hair loss makes it difficult because it tells the world you're sick. Otherwise it's possible nobody would know if you chose not to tell them. I was very open about it and people were very supportive of me. And yes, not having to shave your legs is very nice, that is the one thing I miss.

I have to say I was pretty devastated when I read your post the other day. You've been in my thoughts and prayers. I can only imagine how you are feeling but as we all know, some people survive and thrive despite the odds and I hope you decide you'll be one of them! A girl in my group used to say she's a person, not a statistic so damn anyone who tried to tell her about statistics, LOL. I love the book Chicken Soup for the Survivor's Soul. I read it when all the clinical reading was getting to me and found it uplifting. Maybe it would be good for you if you need a break.

I also found that I had to consider all the possibilities of this disease in order to move forward. It was a very painful - but I believe necessary - process. It is a lonely journey since people don't want you to think like that, but if you can find someone who will listen and help you work through those feelings it's important to get them out. This is where a support group comes in handy or even a few sessions with a helping professional. I'm glad you've been so open here on the Dis and have gotten some good support here. How's Petey holding up?? (The dog connection is a whole other story - my dog was very in tune to my illness and you can see in one of my posts above I lost her unexpectedly the same day my hair came out so it was very strange indeed. I always felt that she saw me up to the hardest part and then had to go). Hang in there, you're doing a great job.

Ann, I can totally relate to your feelings as I'm sure just about everyone here can as well. Once you have the big C no pain is ever the same again. I think it becomes a lifelong worry (but lessens a bit as time goes on from what I'm told).

There are times that I am full of calm and resolve and stregth and optimism. Lots of people telling me that I have a great positive attitude. Then there are times I am full of doom and gloom and fear and I dont' want to let anyone know....especially those to whom it is important that I show a postive outlook.

I agree it's important to stay positive. However, one of the things I learned is that staying positive and staying strong can sometimes be a burden, especially right now as you're trying to sort out all the intense emotions you have. It's ok not to be strong sometimes, to just cry if you feel like crying, or yelling out you're afraid you might die. Again, people get nervous to hear that and don't want you to talk that way, but let's face it, that's what's in your head sometimes, right? Perfectly normal. As I said above, find someone who will listen who allows you to express these feelings. I found a wonderful social worker who helped me to see the things I'm saying here. I was used to being strong and it was very hard for me to admit my vulnerability. I always felt like I was "positive" but I still had nagging fears and anxiety about my future. I'd be lying if I said I don't still have them on occasion (and it's even harder to talk to people about them now since I'm supposed to be "over it") but the majority of the time I'm "positive". I'd love to hear how others have dealt with this. I've met a lot of other survivors and just like here on the Dis, there seem to be lots of opinions and different coping styles. Find whatever works for you. At one point I was ordered by my social worker and caregivers to read only junky magazines, wear my favorite color every day and to drive with the music in my car really loud!! Sounds weird but they knew I was scared and needed to get some normalcy and fun back in my life again.

One last thing, the woman I was closest to in my M&J class had almost the same situation as you yet I found that her fears and thoughts were no different than mine. I was surprised by this because to me, she had reason to feel pretty good about her future. She later had a scare in her other breast and was a scared to pieces, no different than I was with my similar scare. So I think when it comes to this disease we're all in the same boat with our feelings and it helps to have eachother to lean on. I've read before of people having post traumatic stress disorder after an experience like this. At first I thought that was a bit of a stretch but now I'm not so sure. At the least, though, it's a life altering experience that changes your whole perspective and makes you realize life is fleeting and precious. It is that loss of innocence that we must grieve before we can move on.

 

[MerryPoppins]

Shugardrawers, of course you are welcome! I can't help with the hair issues. But if you are uncomfortable you can always wear a wig or a hat. Personally, I always admire women who go out without hair. I think they look very brave and distinctive.

Cruise04, here's hoping it's nothing to worry about. Keep us informed and I'll pray.

I'm familiar with the aches and pains causing concern. I've had imaginary blood clots in my legs and imaginary lumps under my arms. I also have allergic skin problems. When I get a patch on my chest, I'm always sure it has something to do with a recurrence of breast cancer. The reaction is so normal.

Ann, the ups and downs sound so familiar. I came to the DIS often when I felt I couldn't sound as positive as I needed to with my family and friends. Sometimes I just needed to blow off some steam.

Did any of you notice in the weeks following your diagnosis and surgery that people talked to your breasts? I noticed that some people didn't look me in the eye, but instead studied my chest. I have a good sense of humor. It helped me through the roughest of times. I can remember laughing with my husband that they couldn't look into my face, but weren't shy to be staring at my chest.

 

[laurabelle]

Shugardrawers- Of course you're welcome here! I lost all my hair, starting "down there", to eyelashes, eyebrows, even lost the hair on my big toes! I had a wig, and in the beginning I wore it everywhere, and eventually I only wore it special places, like out to restaurants. If I was going to the hospital I just wore a scarf or hat. My head was really sensitive and it helped to wear a soft knit sleepcap at night. Usually I just went "topless" around the house. If you go the wig route, I suggest buying it before you lose your hair so you're prepared. My hair fell out about 2 weeks after my 1st chemo, and I got tired of the chunks of hair everyhere, in my food, in the shower, everywhere. So I shaved it off with clippers, then my friend shaved it with a razor to get the stubble. You may have stubble for a little while after, I have friends who used a sticky lint roller to get the rest off. Here's a website I ordered sleepcaps and some hats from: http://www.headcovers.com/


Ann - You sound normal to me! All those thoughts and feelings are so familiar. I know it sounds like an oxymoron, but I think you can be strong and positive and allow yourself to cry & grieve at the same time. I kept borrowing visualization tapes from my library, it was nice to have a variety. One of the first things they told me at my cancer center was, there are no dumb questions. So it's ok to ask your onc about any ache or pain. You'll learn about what is a real pressing concern and what you can tuck away in the back of your mind.

Merry Poppins - People still stare at my chest when they find out I had bc, trying to figure out which side, if they're real, ect...

 

[Shugardrawers]

I did find a stunning wig that is suprisingly natural looking and feeling. Unfortunately, it's $180. My parents have offered to buy it for me but they don't really have the money either so it sits on the shelf of the store and I stop and visit it whenever I'm in the mall and hope that sometime soon the funds will magically appear. Maybe if DH can get a couple of weeks of good overtime work. Anyway, a couple of very kind Disers have offered to send me wigs they have laying around and hopefully they'll be just fine. I have a friend who's offered to work with them to shape them up and make them perfect. I've actually had great fun looking at and trying on hats the past few days and searching online for pretty headwear. I have been to headcovers.com several times and they have lots and lots of things I fell in love with. Again, unfortunatley, all our money will be going to treatment and there won't be room in the budget for those. My solution was to ask fellow Disers for donations of fabric to make my own scarves and headcovers. Whatever I don't need I'll make anyway and donate to the American Cancer Society for other patients who make too much to receive any real assistance. I know it sounds vain but I'm terrified of not looking feminine. My hair is long and dark strawberry blonde and I'm so proud of it. I'm terrified of losing it.

Petey seems to be holding up well. It's funny how the dog is the most intuitive of the entire family, knowing when to make me laugh and when to just lay on my lap and lick my hand. I worry about what will happen to him if I don't make it. DH says of course he'll keep him and DSis has offered to take him but no one is ever quite like your mommy are they?

I finally told my parents tonight. I talked to my dad first privately. My mother's health isn't very good and she's kind of unstable emotionally at times. I thought that he was the best judge of how to break it to her and when. She called me later ticked off that I had dad be the one to tell her. She seemed to have calmed down before we hung up but I just kept thinking that that little scene was exactly what I was trying to avoid I have been telling people one by one. First my very best friend. Then DSis, then a couple of other friends. I avoided telling DH until tonight because I was so scared of doing this to him again. He took it well though. A day or 2 before chemo starts we are going to tell my niece who's 16 and my nephew who's 5. Niece being the drama queen she is, that will be hard but we'll leave out the part about the poor prognosis for now. Nephew will just know that his NawNaw (don't ask, I don't know either, it's just what he calls me) is very sick and her medicine makes her hair fall out. Then I'll find someone who'll shave my head for me. I'm stunned at how much people want to charge me for the priveledge of being bald. I guess I was just raised differently. I'd never dream of charging someone for that. Heck, my groomer charges less than that maybe I should call her LOL! I'm going to save the hair and see if I can donate it to Locks of Love though I think it's not quite long enough.

The support here has been overwhelming and I can't thank everyone enough. to the rest of the sisterhood.

 

[laurabelle]

Shugardrawers - Have you talked to the social worker at your cancer center about finances? I wish I still had my wig to give you...I donated it to my cancer center. I bet those donated wigs will be fine, mine was still in great shape. As far as shaving your head goes, I'm an ex-hair stlyist (and no, the irony wasn't lost on me!) and I had my own clippers, I jsut went in my bathroom and did it myself. Not everyone shaves their head when it falls out, but for me, that was something I was going to control, and I didn't want the wispy hair look.
Maybe ask a neighbor if they have a pair, some men have their own. Or they do sell clippers at Walmart and Target. If you can't get clippers, just cut it as short as you can with scissors. Then my girlfirend came over and shaved it closer. Really, she just used a razor and shaving cream.

Telling your family, again, has got to be the hardest part. I have other friends with poor prognosis and they have proved the doctors and the statistics wrong!

I'm praying that you are able to kick some cancer butt, and that you can prove 'em wrong too!!!

 

[laurabelle]

The Pros and Cons of Baldness and Wigs
This is by no means a conclusive list. Thankfully enough time has passed since my hairless days that I'm sure I'm forgetting something, and hey, chemo brain comes in handy sometimes!

Wigs
Pros: Keeps your head warm in winter; easy to care for- wash it, shake it, let it air dry, brush it and go; you can actually see the back to style it; it is thicker than the average head of hair; you can have a completely different look just by changing wigs.

Cons: it is itchy, uncomfortable; hot and sweaty in the summer; it’s not “attached” to your head, so you may want to use double-sided tape to help secure it to your melon… unless you’re allergic to adhesive like me and end up with sores on your head; you constantly run the risk of your hair going askew…you move right, your hair moves left; wigs can cost a lot of $$$$; it usually looks like what it is - a wig.


Baldness:
Cons: Isn’t it obvious?!? Well, if I had to list them, I’d say the naked-alien-vunerable-you-look-like-a-cancer-patient feelings that baldness evokes are enough, thank you very much!

Pros: If you didn’t think there were any, hold on… how's about record breaking shower time - nothing to shampoo, condition or shave; record breaking time it takes to get ready - nothing to tweeze, tease, comb, brush, blow dry, or curl; it does take a little more creativity in the make up dept., but you can artfully manufactor a mood by simply changing the way you draw in your eyebrows; no $ spent on hair cuts, color, ect., though you may need scalp treatments; an easy way to cool off in the summer, during a hot flash, or an argument (whichever occurs first) is to flip your lid; it's a cheap source of amusement in a time you really need some amusing - try letting the kids draw on it or drill your head with a toy drill, tip your wig to other drivers when they let you pass, the fun is only limited by your imagination...; ahem, hubbys really seem to dig it! ;o)

And finally, for the #1. Pro of baldness:
Watching it grow back in again!!!

 

[NHAnn]

Good morning ladies....no time to say more than that...and thanks for being here!

 

[Dan Murphy]

Just reading some of your thoughts and all guys, you are one super group of ladies.

 

[laurabelle]

Dan, I love that you keep posting here! I just wanted to say you are ALWAYS welcome on this thread! We think you're pretty super too!

 

[Pea-n-Me]

Hmmm, let's see if I can stay focused on wigs while I sip my coffee here:

First off, I agree a social worker should be able to help you find some wigs and other things. My very small support center is run by a social worker and a nurse. They told me they have more donations than they know what to do with. The ACS and apparently everyone else wants to help. I don't think they have wigs but they know where to find them.

The ACS puts on a program called Look Good Feel Better. You should find one in your area and sign up. I went late in the game but they give you a whole box of (donated) high quality makeup and show you how to put it on and also give you hair/wig/scarf tips. The beautician who was at mine happened to be a teacher at the local vocational school's cosmetology program. Turns out that program has free wigs (donated) for cancer patients and will also give a day of beauty free to anyone going through chemo. Nice, huh? A friend's sister recently went there and got a nice wig and the royal treatment. I suggest you look for something similar in your area. They don't advertise but they're out there.

My hair is short,, straight and brown. I always loved my hair too. Looking back I should have shaved it after my first chemo but for whatever reason I didn't. I was still going to work and was trying to salvage whatever I had until the last moment possible, I guess. As you know my dog was also sick, showing signs of a brain tumor and that had me majorly upset since it was metastatic from some skin tumors she'd had earlier (not usually thought to spread). I had her and her brother since they were puppies and they were my babies. You know the rest of that story.

Anyway, the morning after I put Kayla to sleep my eyes were red and swollen from crying all night. Hair was everywhere -sticking to my wet face and stinging my eyes. As luck would have it my own hairdresser of many years had hurt her arm, my brother's girlfriend who's a hairdresser happened to be an hour away that morning, and the wig shop where I bought my wigs was closed. I was desperate to have my head shaved. I'd gotten two wigs but at that moment in time hated them and was in kind of a panic about what to do. I went to a local wig salon thinking I'd buy another. Not realizing I needed an appointment, they were a bit puzzled when I showed up. But one particular stylist noticed me, stopped what she was doing and came over asking me if I was in treatment. I barely got out the words, "yes" when she whisked me off to a private stall, got me a hot cup of coffee and gave me a big hug. I was holding a picture of Kayla still being mostly upset about that, and turns out that stylist was a huge dog lover who had a Shepherd of her own and even cried along with me. She shaved my head, turning the chair from the mirror so I didn't have to watch. My intention was to buy another wig (didn't care what it cost at that point) but she looked at mine and said they were good. I left there with my "serious" (looked like myself) wig on and my "fun" wig (bought to humor my brother's girlfriend) in my bag. I considered that place a godsend to me, really nice people. Funny part was it had a bad reputation. I wouldn't hesitate to send anyone there.

I made my way from the wig shop to the cancer support center for the first time since it was right nearby. There happened to be nobody there except the social worker who did my intake interview and sat and talked with me for two hours. Yup, another dog lover (who's since lost her own two dogs) who again was like a godsend that day. Exactly what I needed at that point in time. I feel like someone was really watching over and leading me that day. (Funny in all the months I went to the support center during treatment they never saw me without my wig. Later when my hair began to grow back we laughed so hard it was just so funny for them to see the "real" me)!

I was lucky my health insurance covered two wigs ($500). The prescription my doctor handed me called it a "hair prosthesis". (You should check with your own insurance to see if prostheses are covered, they may well be). I originally wanted a "real hair" one but when it came in I hated it. It was way too small and kept "popping off" my head. I went to another salon that specialized in hair loss issues closer to my home. That man was wonderful and I ordered two synthetic wigs - the serious one and the fun one - and both were a nice fit despite my hair. I thought I would wear the serious one so nobody would know but it turned out to be kind of high maintenance and he cut the sides a bit too short for my liking (I'd suggest not cutting it at all until you wear it a bit, and they cut carefully, small bits at a time).

So after wearing my serious wig for one day, I decided to give the fun wig a try. It was red and whispy, very sporty and cute. The best part was I could put it on, fix it with my fingers a bit, and go. Perfect fit. I went sledding in that thing and withstood many a strong wind out on playgrounds and soccer fields with my kids and it never moved on my head and I could fix the hair quite easily. Many people told me they loved my hair and asked me where I had it done, they wanted the same thing!! People just assumed I colored and permed my hair. The owner of a salon even once asked me if I had my hair done there! The best part is that I didn't know it until after I bought it, but that wig was from a collection of wigs specifically for African American women (which I am not) - I believe it was called the Black is Beautiful Collection, LOL. I was just happy to find something I was so comfortable in, and I think that's why I always wore it out. If you get a wig make sure it fits comfortably. This one had a nice "net" inside that was snug and comfortable.

With all that said, Shugardrawers, you are certainly welcome to have that wig if you'd like it and I also have many beautiful head pieces that I bought and a friend gave me after her treatment if you want. (I donated my other wig to my oncology center). My favorite to wear around the house in the daytime was a bandana that had a soft head cap inside.

Laura, I can appreciate the irony of your being a hairdresser and having to lose your own hair.

Here's mine: I've been taking care of heart failure/cardiomyopathy patients for 18 years, many due to adriamycin toxicity. I've lost many, many of the patients I've grown to love and care for over the years. Practically every time I go to work someone there has has adriamycin related heart failure. My heart sinks when I hear their stories and it is pretty painful to actually meet them and share their experiences since I've gotten the drug myself (brings it very close to home, I guess). I stay because it's my area of expertise and I love what I do. But never in my wildest dreams did I think I'd ever have to get adriamycin myself. Luckily today dosing is pretty strict related to weight and the chance of HF is only 1% but it's still scary to me and it makes me wonder why I ended up taking care of these patients all these years when my original intention was to do psyche nursing!! You can imagine my dismay when one chemo day the medical assistant wrote down my weight as 50# more than what I was!! The NP caught it on double check but after that I made sure everyone knew my correct weight (yeah, I loved broadcasting that around ). It really makes you wonder about the universe we live in and why things happen the way they do. I try to take comfort in them, as though things are somehow going the way they are "supposed to", and someone's helping prepare us for the difficulties in life we encounter?

Oh well, that's for another day. Coffee cup is cold, have a good day folks.

P.S. Thanks for reading my stories if you made it through. I wrote a lot during my experience but unfortunately most of it was lost on my computer. I'm fine with that (in a way I don't want to relive it) but here I can sort of get it written again and hopefully it's helpful to someone.

Oh yes, I forgot to say, I now have a head of long, thick curly brown hair.

 

[MerryPoppins]

Shugardrawers, locks of love would be a great idea! Hope your beautiful hair is long enough.

Love reading everybody's stories. Glad we are being of some small help and support to others. I know it still helps me to talk about my experiences as well.

I never tried the tapes. I might give that a go for when I am feeling stressed. DD and I will start the summer library treks soon. Maybe they have some there. They sound great!