Dinner party idea ......

[U2_rocks]

So, Dh and I have been pretty lax in terms of having people over, and now we owe a bunch of people reciprocal invites! I have a list of about 15 couples I really want to have over for dinner, but obviously not all at the same time!

One way is just to group them into logical groups (common interests etc.) and have 3 or 4 dinner parties. But I had another idea, and wonder if it'll fly. DH and I love cooking different stuff, like Thai, Indian, Italian etc., but know that not everyone likes all of that. Some people like simple steak and sides. So, I thought we could choose 4 or 5 themes (e.g. Thai, Tex-Mex, simple steak, Indian, Italian) and dates, and give people a choice of which dinner they wanted to attend. We'd call them and tell them what we're doing, when each theme dinner is, and ask them which one they'd like to reserve a place for. Is that whacked? Or is that a novel idea that people will love? I've never done it before, nor have I ever heard of anyone doing it before. I wonder if people will be weirded out by the fact that they won't necessarily know who else will be dining with them? Of course, they might not know that anyway.

Thoughts?

 

[Uncle Remus]

I think that's a great idea!
Put me down for the Tex-Mex

 

[Cool-Beans]

So, Dh and I have been pretty lax in terms of having people over, and now we owe a bunch of people reciprocal invites! I have a list of about 15 couples I really want to have over for dinner, but obviously not all at the same time!

One way is just to group them into logical groups (common interests etc.) and have 3 or 4 dinner parties. But I had another idea, and wonder if it'll fly. DH and I love cooking different stuff, like Thai, Indian, Italian etc., but know that not everyone likes all of that. Some people like simple steak and sides. So, I thought we could choose 4 or 5 themes (e.g. Thai, Tex-Mex, simple steak, Indian, Italian) and dates, and give people a choice of which dinner they wanted to attend. We'd call them and tell them what we're doing, when each theme dinner is, and ask them which one they'd like to reserve a place for. Is that whacked? Or is that a novel idea that people will love? I've never done it before, nor have I ever heard of anyone doing it before. I wonder if people will be weirded out by the fact that they won't necessarily know who else will be dining with them? Of course, they might not know that anyway.

Thoughts?

Nice in spirit, not such a good idea in practice, manners-wise.

Telling someone that you are having a several parties, but they are only invited to one is considered rude. You are allowed to throw however many parties you please and invite whomever you choose...you just can't tell people who aren't invited about it (before or after.)

Telling them you're doing it to reciprocate is also rude. You are supposed to be delighting in the pleasure of their company. Reciprocating is correct, you just can't admit to it.

As a most gracious hostess (which I'm sure you are, as you are trying to please everyone! ), you want to serve your guests food they like, regardless of how much you enjoy cooking something else. If your friends don't like Thai, serve them steak or whatever they'll enjoy.

Just decide how many parties you want to have and figure out who you'll invite to each...then invite them.

 

[U2_rocks]

Nice in spirit, not such a good idea in practice, manners-wise.

Telling someone that you are having a several parties, but they are only invited to one is considered rude. You are allowed to throw however many parties you please and invite whomever you choose...you just can't tell people who aren't invited about it (before or after.)

Telling them you're doing it to reciprocate is also rude. You are supposed to be delighting in the pleasure of their company. Reciprocating is correct, you just can't admit to it.

As a most gracious hostess (which I'm sure you are, as you are trying to please everyone! ), you want to serve your guests food they like, regardless of how much you enjoy cooking something else. If your friends don't like Thai, serve them steak or whatever they'll enjoy.

Just decide how many parties you want to have and figure out who you'll invite to each...then invite them.

Thing is, I don't know what everyone likes! Not everyone we're returning invites for are dinner invites (some were parties and other things), and in any case, what someone served us for dinner doesn't necessarily tell us what else they might or might not like.

Do you really think people would mind only being invited to one of the dinners? I wouldn't! And of course I wouldn't dream of mentioning that we were reciprocating - that part was only mentioned as background to this post.

I dunno - I could just have a cocktail party (with heavy eats) and invite them all!

 

[mtemm]

honestly I don't see how this would work, you'd have to be willing to have them all come at once...what if they all choose tex-mex? so why not just issue invites to all for each then. you would chance a huge party, but then doing it your way would chance it, too, that is, unless you made people put down their preferences in order, so if everyone chose tex-mex as their first choice, some people would end up with their second choice. and really I would personally find that kind of odd.

I think it would be easier to go with your original idea of grouping people by interest. you could still do theme dinners. I'm one of the pickier eaters out there, and I can almost always find something I like at any dinner party I've been to.

 

[Tigger&Belle]

I don't mind only being invited to one party and would like it to be either Thai or Indian. Tex-Mex is good, too, but we're vegetarian and that's a little harder for vegies and the other two are easy. But I'll come to anything except for steak night. Just let me know what I can bring. We're having alcohol, right.


I guess I never answered your question, but I don't have time now--I'm off to find something to eat.

 

[MareQ]

I say invite them all and either just do cocktails or do a buffet. I think you could incorporate what you want to do all at once - although it would be a lot of work.

What about having a 4 corner type buffet. Set up one corner of a room - or one room with a thai appetizer, thai entree and thai type drink - then another corner with Indian, one with Italian and one with regular old food. That way people can sample a bit of each and it would be something different from the typical meal.

 

[liamandcaili]

What if the invitees said that they all sounded great and wanted to attend all the parties?

I think you should just pick your theme, pick your guests, and invite them. If they decline, that is their choice and your reciprocation obligation is fulfilled.

 

[Tigger&Belle]

Mare, darn, you fixed your "but to bit" typo before I could quote you, asking what kind of party did you think she was having if they were going to sample but (butt). It's all because I couldn't hit quote fast enough because I'm eating ice cream since I got hungry after reading this thread.

 

[sugarpie]

Maybe it's not the best etiquette, but who cares!!! It sounds like fun. That way people can pick a datethat fits into their schedule. If it were me I would only have 2 or 3 parties, though, and that would increase the chances that people might know someone at the party.

I think it would be fun to attend a big party with lots of little food stations & cocktails, too. I guess I just like a party.

 

[kristen821]

What is the reason you can't invite all of them? There may be a reason, but if it was me, I would only want to clean my house, cook for a lot of people and clean up again once! Maybe you can invite all of them and do a dinner around the world theme then they can pick what the want and don't want or try them all. I would love to be invited to a party where the host was talented enough to make all that stuff so I can taste a little of each.

 

[ZuZugal]

What a wonderful thing that both you & your DH cook!

Personally, I would make out the guests lists myself, and then invite the partygoers, and have a wonderful evening. I don't think I would give them choices. My reasoning being - you should probably try to invite people who know at least one other couple that will be attending. Not everyone can make small talk all evening, and not all people are even very good at making conversation at all with folks they don't know. It is MUCH easier to pick at a dinner that might not be your favorite than to be with a group of people you have never met before. And no, you and your DH don't count, because you will be the hostess with the mostess and won't just be able to sit and chat all night.

Plan it, cook it, drink it, and have a great time!

 

[disykat]

I'm on the side of it's not polite to tell people you are having several parties and invite them to only one. Sure, it's a novel idea - but it's like asking people to make a reservation rather then a personal invitation to your home. For a dinner party, you want people to feel like you are looking forward to their presence, not fulfilling an obligation.

IMO opinion it's the same as saying you are having partys at Christmas, Halloween, and Valentine's Day, which ONE do you want to come to. It wouldn't be rude to have those parties and not invite the same people. It would be rude to tell them to pick which one they want to attend.

 

[U2_rocks]

I actually like the idea of a "4 corners" type buffet. It would have to be finger food to invite everyone at once though. I also like the idea of one set-up, one clean-up! I was just worried that with too many people we wouldn't get to talk to many, and that we wouldn't be able to seat them all. But we do have enough tables and chairs to seat 16 people in 3 seating areas, so we could do two varied buffet dinners and split the people into the best groups interest-wise.

I guess when I think about it some people may feel a bit weird about being made to choose one dinner - I knew that if I bounced it off you guys I would get a comprehensive set of answers!

 

[MareQ]

Mare, darn, you fixed your "but to bit" typo before I could quote you, asking what kind of party did you think she was having if they were going to sample but (butt). It's all because I couldn't hit quote fast enough because I'm eating ice cream since I got hungry after reading this thread.

Sorry to take away your fun - LMAO