The gift of your time will be the most precious thing you can bring. Yes, do bring a token gift, flowers are fine. Don't worry overmuch about potential allergies and that sort of thing. I have severe allergies to scent and can deal with flowers for the most part (if they are too aromatic I simply put them in a room other than my bedroom
).
Once you are there you can take a look and see what may be needed. Is there a need for some handyperson type chores to be done? Is there gardening or lawn work, that sort of thing.
With regard to the husband in the NH, that's the tricky part. Time and yourself is truly the gift. He may not realize that you are there, depending upon the level of the disease and which sections of his brain are currently involved, or he may know you are there but not know you, or he may be having a good day and recognize you and have a great visit. Regardless, YOU will know you went, and so will his wife.
Reminisce without regrets or sadness is always welcome. Remember the joys of the past, but don't write off the current.
Take care now and remember, YOU and your time are the gift.
