Difficult decison - WWYD?

[wilma-bride]

Some of you may know I am currently experiencing a lot of difficulties at work. Like a lot of people, I am at risk of losing my job. I am, however, in a slightly better position than some in that I am not going to be made redundant. However, under the latest initiative to cut back, our department is 'rebalancing its resources', resulting in cutting two posts in our team down to one and I am now in the position where both myself and a colleague are 'competing' for one post. Consequently, we are both actively looking for other posts within the MOD.

Meanwhile, a job opportunity has arisen at the British Embassy in Washington DC. It sounds like a great job and, obviously, it would be a fabulous experience.

However, it's not all that easy to just decide to apply for the job - there are so many considerations, not least the girls' education (Daniel is not so much of a worry as he is still young) and Gary's job.

So, even though it is ultimately our decision as a family, I am interested to know what your thoughts would be in a similar situation and what you might do. And if there are any other obvious considerations which I might have missed

 

[natalielongstaff]

As i said last night......

DON'T GO !​

Joking aside mate i would never be brave enough to make that move so i cant help much, i think you would need to work out if any benefits of the job ( better hours/pay) would compensate for the negatives ( gary also having to find a job and if the girls would be happy)

 

[jns]

sorry don't have any words of wisdom
but if everyone is in agreement , Why not

I would love to have the chance to do something like this

 

[disney_princess_85]

Think of how close you'd be to Florida!

Seriously though, it's a tough one isn't it? It would obviously be a huge upheaval. What does Gary think?

Why don't you just apply for the job, see what happens, and go from there? The solution might be more obvious once you have been offered the job.

 

[Pegasus928]

We had a similr decision to make almost 3 years ago now.
I was in a very good job, had just been promoted to the position I had wanted for the previous 8-10 years and everything was good.
Then an opportunity came up for me to take a job in Kuwait that was too good to ignore.
Very long story short we decided as a family to go for it, with me going out first and the family joining me in November 2007. we had a fantastic time, we all loved the laid back way of life and the kids were getting a much better quality of education than they could have ever got in this country.
Unfortunately the contract I was on finished (about 10 ears before Iw as originally told it would - but thats a whole different story) and the family had to come home again, much to everyones dissappointment - not least my kids.
The fact remains thought that none of us would have changed anything. The children had got a life changing experience that few children their ages would ever have the chance to go through, and learnt a lot about different cultures, religions and way of life.
My advice would be to go for it. We are only on this world once and my way of looking at things is to think "If I don't do this what will I think in 10 years time and look back on a missed opportunity"

Kenny

 

[Booknut]

It's a difficult decision really because you have so many people to take into consideration. I'd LOVE to live in Washington D.C., just the thought of it make s me giddy with excitement

A few things to consider:

1. Post secondary education in the U.S. is very expensive. It's not unusual for a college to charge $20,000 a year tuition, and that's not even the really good ones like the Ivy League schools. And the smaller community colleges might charge more for your daughters because they are not American (like schools do here for foreign students).

2. Will Gary be able to work out there?

3. Will your job out there be for a fixed term? What happens if you don't like it, can you still come back and work for the MOD here?

4. Will it be easy for you to rent out your house whilst you're away or will you have to sell up?

5. How does everyone else feel about it?

6. Will you even get to see any of Washington D.C. seeing as you're only about a 55 minute flight away from WDW and will probably be down every weekend

Do you know, I still don't know what you do, I thought it was event planning but I could be wrong. If it is, event planning for an Embassy would be so exciting!

 

[wilma-bride]

It's a difficult decision really because you have so many people to take into consideration. I'd LOVE to live in Washington D.C., just the thought of it make s me giddy with excitement

A few things to consider:

1. Post secondary education in the U.S. is very expensive. It's not unusual for a college to charge $20,000 a year tuition, and that's not even the really good ones like the Ivy League schools. And the smaller community colleges might charge more for your daughters because they are not American (like schools do here for foreign students).

Apparently, they MOD will pay the education costs (or 90% of any UK fees if we decided to send them to boarding school here)

2. Will Gary be able to work out there?

He will have a visa that will allow him to work - it just depends whether he could get a job

3. Will your job out there be for a fixed term? What happens if you don't like it, can you still come back and work for the MOD here?

It's a minimum tour of 2 years (maximum of 5) so, no, we probably couldn't come home early. However, there would be a job for me whenever I did come back

4. Will it be easy for you to rent out your house whilst you're away or will you have to sell up?

This is, believe it or not, one of my biggest concerns. I really wouldn't want to sell as I wouldn't want to get off the property ladder (and I would worry we would squander any money we made on the house). However, the thought of renting my house out again - after the experience we had renting it while we were living in NI - makes me feel positively sick. If anything, this is the major consideration for us.

5. How does everyone else feel about it?

Obviously, Daniel is too young to have a say - although he says he would love to live in America (I think he thinks we would be living at WDW though ) The girls are not overly keen but Sian would not be overly keen on anything I suggest at the moment - and Rea's concerns, I think, are more to do with the usual things like making new friends, going to a new school etc. Gary thinks it's a great idea in principle.

6. Will you even get to see any of Washington D.C. seeing as you're only about a 55 minute flight away from WDW and will probably be down every weekend

lol Eloise - it is tempting to be close to WDW but I have to say that wasn't even a consideration. I actually just love the idea of trying something completely different.

Do you know, I still don't know what you do, I thought it was event planning but I could be wrong. If it is, event planning for an Embassy would be so exciting!

At the moment, I do corporate event planning but the job would be business manager for British Defence Staff at the Embassy. Still sounds like a great job though - very interesting.

 

[CustardTart]

I'd definitely have to consider it, it's such a fab opportunity, Joh.

We had the chance to live in Paris some years ago and it was a wonderful experience - we'd still be there now if it had been up to me... The children adapted well (despite Sophie wailing about missing friends that she actually never bothered to see again) and life was good - better than here in fact.

Obviously that was much different - I was what they politely call a "trailing wife" so no job worries and the children were 14, 12 and 3. The biggest issues I would think are where Sian and Rea are at in their education as well as Gary's job and what opportunities there are for him. With the girls, I have no idea how easy it is to transfer into the US system but I would guess in a country where there a plenty of immigrants, anything is possible and there would be minimal language barriers. Plus they're bright girls who I imagine could deal with the changes..

As for Gary, is he keen to up sticks???

The only downside I experienced was how much I missed my friends. One of mine was having a really tough time and we found it horrible not to be able to meet up as often as she needed me to...

 

[T16GEM]

If it were me, I would have to take all of what Booknut said into consideration, but also I would be thinking that I would regret not doing it if I had the opportunity.

When we started our business back in 2006 we were risking everything on it working out, and when we got the shop it was such a worry to us whether we were going to do well etc - and nobody could forcast what has happened with the economy but we are still here, enjoying it and have just celebrated 3 years in the premises. We are so pleased that we did it, but there were so many times before we signed the leases etc that we just thought we couldn't take the plunge and thought about walking away and going back to my 9 to 5 - I know this is a different situation to moving but you know what I mean don't you!

I would love to move to the States and knowing that we could come back at some point in the future would be all the better, it's not a permanent thing and living in a different culture and seeing the sights there etc on your days off would be invaluable education for Daniel. Of course the 55 minute flight to WDW would be seen as a perk of the job!

Good luck with what you decide. When do you have to apply by?

 

[Booknut]

OK well taking into account everything you've said i'd say go for it.

Did you rent out your house through an agency? It might be easier if you let the agency take over the whole rental so you don't have to worry about the day to day stress of dealing with tenants etc.

 

[PoppyAnna]

Blimey, I wrote this massive long reply and the PC crashed but since I've now seen your replies to some of Eloise's points (which I thought were very good) I'd say if I were you I would be giving it very serious consideration.

Our friends moved to Singapore in September. He was travelling so much with his job he was only home maybe 2/3 nights a week, most weeks. So, they offered him a job in Singapore which would mean although they would all be moving they would be together more. She spoke to her company (international insurance company) and they were great and moved her into a post out there too. There are ups and downs to their new life, their house on our road is in a very desirable school area so they get £2000 a month rent, they pay no rental in Singapore, income tax in Singapore is a lot less than 10%. They no longer live in a house they now live in a condo, the children (9,6,2) have an excellent private education but do have to travel one hour each way on a school bus rather than the five minute walk. They are in a great location to visit other places, spent christmas in Thailand (1 hr flight) and he is taking part in the Singapore ironman contest in March, they have 100% commited themselves to their new life and making it work. She is Swedish so had no family of her own in the UK so that made things a bit easier and his family are in the West Country so the children we already used to not seeing extended family very often. They have (cheap) paid help at home to help with cooking/cleaning and the youngest member of the family. This frees up their time to spend with the children. If they stay two years (initial project duration) or five years (possible) the children will have had a great experience and they will probably be better off financially when they return.
It hasn't been a bed of roses for them, most of their posessions remain in storage as nobody lives in houses in Singapore so they children don't have the space at home that they are used to. We speak to them on Skype
and the girls (older ones) are happy with their new lifstlye, they're always out and about and in the (shared) pool downstairs but they ask eldest Dd all about school and they do miss their friends but it's very early days.

I have to say we would go, if it was a significant lifestlye change and a once in a lifetime experience, we would go.

Good luck

 

[tony64]

Chance of a lifetime Mate. Go for it.( when can we visit).

 

[fav_is_tink]

This does sound like a wonderful job opportunity. You should all sit down together [even Daniel] and make a list of the pros and cons of going and staying?!

There certainly is a lot to consider; I have no real advice but personally speaking it wouldn't suit my family as DS has his heart set on uni here in 2011 and DMil has Alzheimers and its getting to the stage that we are helping DFil more and more so don't think DH could leave, selfishly I think I'd miss my family and friends toooo much; although we did consider emigrating to Canada when son was just 4 or 5 yrs old and that would have been the time for us to do it.

I really just wanted to send good wishes your way whilst you and your family consider what's best for you all in what is a life-changing decision

 

[jen_uk]

I say go for it! It sounds like an amazing opportunity

 

[natalielongstaff]

Chance of a lifetime Mate. Go for it.( when can we visit).

stop encouraging her fgs !!!!

 

[wilma-bride]

Thanks for the advice everyone, it really is appreciated, and there are some good points made.

The closing date for applications is February 19th so I have a couple of weeks to make up my mind.

I think a family pow-wow may be in order this weekend.

 

[PoppyAnna]

stop encouraging her fgs !!!!

I know, was going to put an apology to you on the bottom of my post, sorry Nat!

 

[natalielongstaff]

I know, was going to put an apology to you on the bottom of my post, sorry Nat!

how selfish am i being !!! i could actually cry at the thought of her going abroad tho

 

[The Fetherstons]

Good luck with whatever you decide Joh

Sounds like a fantastic opportunity for you all

 

[tony64]

how selfish am i being !!! i could actually cry at the thought of her going abroad tho

I bet your phone bill will go up if she does go.